Where does all the money go?
Discussion
alphanumeric said:
2gb wouldn't touch the sides, sadly.
Check out uswitch https://www.uswitch.com/mobiles/compare/sim_only_d...
25-30 GB for ~ £8 from 3/O2/Vodafone
In all seriousness we're in a similar position. Both earning about £50k-£60k.
Yet we both never feel particularly wealthy.
Partly this is my chronic illness of "next shiny thing with wheels", so the amount of money i have free to spend on cars/bikes is roughly X + Y. Where X is the amount of free cash i have (not much), and Y is the amount i can beg/borrow/rob/ to feed my habit.
We've both got SIM only phones same as you on about £15/20 per month each.
No Sky TV.
£35 broadband (500gb fibre because it wasn't much more expensive)
We put £400/m in a pot for holidays (which is roughly enough for one fortnight away in spain/greece during summer with the kids, but nothing flash).
£100/m each on house stuff like a new washing machine, or some decorating
I put £200/m aside for car/bike maintenance, insurance, etc.
I rarely buy clothes and if i do it'll be from sainsburys or similar.
Very rarely eat out. Like once/twice a year
One takeaway a week but we don't go crazy, normally £40 or so.
Never go to pubs, but do drink at home.
Nothing particularly flash.
What i don't get is when we're on holiday and we've coughed up thousands for a fairly average holiday, there are people there with us that clearly don't earn the same kind of money. It baffles me how they afford it.
Car wise we've always taken out bank loans over finance, and always cleared them ASAP. We've got a decent chunk of equity in the cars now. Not sure how people can stomach £350-£500/m each on a nice car.
EDIT: Kids are expensive, despite us being clear of childcare now. Drum lessons, guitar lessons, swimming lessons, clothes, shoes, etc, etc.
Just a shame the child benefit rules are such that if we do claim then we're right in the thick of the child benefit clawback, so we're actually taxed at 62% on anything over £50k, which really boils my piss.
Yet we both never feel particularly wealthy.
Partly this is my chronic illness of "next shiny thing with wheels", so the amount of money i have free to spend on cars/bikes is roughly X + Y. Where X is the amount of free cash i have (not much), and Y is the amount i can beg/borrow/rob/ to feed my habit.
We've both got SIM only phones same as you on about £15/20 per month each.
No Sky TV.
£35 broadband (500gb fibre because it wasn't much more expensive)
We put £400/m in a pot for holidays (which is roughly enough for one fortnight away in spain/greece during summer with the kids, but nothing flash).
£100/m each on house stuff like a new washing machine, or some decorating
I put £200/m aside for car/bike maintenance, insurance, etc.
I rarely buy clothes and if i do it'll be from sainsburys or similar.
Very rarely eat out. Like once/twice a year
One takeaway a week but we don't go crazy, normally £40 or so.
Never go to pubs, but do drink at home.
Nothing particularly flash.
What i don't get is when we're on holiday and we've coughed up thousands for a fairly average holiday, there are people there with us that clearly don't earn the same kind of money. It baffles me how they afford it.
Car wise we've always taken out bank loans over finance, and always cleared them ASAP. We've got a decent chunk of equity in the cars now. Not sure how people can stomach £350-£500/m each on a nice car.
EDIT: Kids are expensive, despite us being clear of childcare now. Drum lessons, guitar lessons, swimming lessons, clothes, shoes, etc, etc.
Just a shame the child benefit rules are such that if we do claim then we're right in the thick of the child benefit clawback, so we're actually taxed at 62% on anything over £50k, which really boils my piss.
Edited by LowTread on Friday 1st March 15:29
Edited by LowTread on Friday 1st March 15:33
alphanumeric said:
That's the question, really. Living?
Going back over the bank statement for February we spent just over £330 on "eating out". Local Italian on a Friday night is an easy £85 with a bottle of wine, a mid-week pizza is £30, coffee from Costa while out shopping another £10, one round at the pub for 5 of you is an easy £30+ and then chips on the way home is another £6 or so... Went to the pub three times with mates last month, twice we bought £30ish rounds, once it was just a drink each so about £15, plus two take-aways and some other Costa trips during the week.
Hair cuts, mine is £30 every few weeks, maybe twice a month. Hers is £70 or so but less often so let's call that £100/month on average combined?
Birthday presents (my mum, her sister) £75
£10 prescription, £22.50 contact lenses, £35 at Boots on her card, I assume some sort of cosmetics...
Dishwasher pods on amazon for a big bag was £39 last month, she got some home bits in TkMaxx which was £20... again it's all so trivial, but it does add up quickly and nothing screams "excessive" or "flashy".
I think that's my point. We don't feel like we're living a luxury lifestyle despite incomes which get talked about online as thought we're the aristocracy... (I exaggerate, but you seem my point?)
That’s still probably £1k spare but maybe just accept you are are living a decent life and enjoying yourself ?Going back over the bank statement for February we spent just over £330 on "eating out". Local Italian on a Friday night is an easy £85 with a bottle of wine, a mid-week pizza is £30, coffee from Costa while out shopping another £10, one round at the pub for 5 of you is an easy £30+ and then chips on the way home is another £6 or so... Went to the pub three times with mates last month, twice we bought £30ish rounds, once it was just a drink each so about £15, plus two take-aways and some other Costa trips during the week.
Hair cuts, mine is £30 every few weeks, maybe twice a month. Hers is £70 or so but less often so let's call that £100/month on average combined?
Birthday presents (my mum, her sister) £75
£10 prescription, £22.50 contact lenses, £35 at Boots on her card, I assume some sort of cosmetics...
Dishwasher pods on amazon for a big bag was £39 last month, she got some home bits in TkMaxx which was £20... again it's all so trivial, but it does add up quickly and nothing screams "excessive" or "flashy".
I think that's my point. We don't feel like we're living a luxury lifestyle despite incomes which get talked about online as thought we're the aristocracy... (I exaggerate, but you seem my point?)
If kids come along then you will won’t have to worry about where any spare is as there won’t be much / any.
Everyone’s definition of luxury or extravagant will vary anyway and so for some you are living a good life with a very decent family income , others not so much but why worry about other people ?
I do get the friends bit though especially if outwards looking you have far more than they do.
Prohibiting said:
You’re fine. You have £1.5k spare each month. Stop whining.
Most people have zilch left on a mortgage <£1k /month on a small 2-bed with no savings. If you adjusted your living situation you could live an even more luxury life.
There are always extra costs though, I bet they don’t have 1.5k spare each month. Maybe after fixed costs it’s £1000 but that soon gets eaten up.Most people have zilch left on a mortgage <£1k /month on a small 2-bed with no savings. If you adjusted your living situation you could live an even more luxury life.
Thanks for your reply, LowTread. Those bits in bold... do you ever feel frustrated that you can't do those things? You're on a good income, they're not extravagant, they're just normal living... but you don't get to treat yourself?
LowTread said:
In all seriousness we're in a similar position. Both earning about £50k-£60k.
Yet we both never feel particularly wealthy.
Partly this is my chronic illness of "next shiny thing with wheels", so the amount of money i have free to spend on cars/bikes is roughly X + Y. Where X is the amount of free cash i have (not much), and Y is the amount i can beg/borrow/rob/ to feed my habit.
We've both got SIM only phones same as you on about £15/20 per month each.
No Sky TV.
£35 broadband (500gb fibre because it wasn't much more expensive)
We put £400/m in a pot for holidays (which is roughly enough for one fortnight away in spain/greece during summer with the kids, but nothing flash).
£100/m each on house stuff like a new washing machine, or some decorating
I put £200/m aside for car/bike maintenance, insurance, etc.
I rarely buy clothes and if i do it'll be from sainsburys or similar.
Very rarely eat out. Like once/twice a year
One takeaway a week but we don't go crazy, no.rmally £40 or so.
Never go to pubs, but do drink at home.
Nothing particularly flash.
What i don't get is when we're on holiday and we've coughed up thousands for a fairly average holiday, there are people there with us that clearly don't earn the same kind of money. It baffles me how they afford it.
Car wise we've always taken out bank loans over finance, and always cleared them ASAP. We've got a decent chunk of equity in the cars now. Not sure how people can stomach £350-£500/m each on a nice car.
EDIT: Kids are expensive, despite us being clear of childcare now. Drum lessons, guitar lessons, swimming lessons, clothes, shoes, etc, etc.
Just a shame the child benefit rules are such that if we do claim then we're right in the thick of the child benefit clawback, so we're actually taxed at 62% on anything over £50k, which really boils my piss.
Yet we both never feel particularly wealthy.
Partly this is my chronic illness of "next shiny thing with wheels", so the amount of money i have free to spend on cars/bikes is roughly X + Y. Where X is the amount of free cash i have (not much), and Y is the amount i can beg/borrow/rob/ to feed my habit.
We've both got SIM only phones same as you on about £15/20 per month each.
No Sky TV.
£35 broadband (500gb fibre because it wasn't much more expensive)
We put £400/m in a pot for holidays (which is roughly enough for one fortnight away in spain/greece during summer with the kids, but nothing flash).
£100/m each on house stuff like a new washing machine, or some decorating
I put £200/m aside for car/bike maintenance, insurance, etc.
I rarely buy clothes and if i do it'll be from sainsburys or similar.
Very rarely eat out. Like once/twice a year
One takeaway a week but we don't go crazy, no.rmally £40 or so.
Never go to pubs, but do drink at home.
Nothing particularly flash.
What i don't get is when we're on holiday and we've coughed up thousands for a fairly average holiday, there are people there with us that clearly don't earn the same kind of money. It baffles me how they afford it.
Car wise we've always taken out bank loans over finance, and always cleared them ASAP. We've got a decent chunk of equity in the cars now. Not sure how people can stomach £350-£500/m each on a nice car.
EDIT: Kids are expensive, despite us being clear of childcare now. Drum lessons, guitar lessons, swimming lessons, clothes, shoes, etc, etc.
Just a shame the child benefit rules are such that if we do claim then we're right in the thick of the child benefit clawback, so we're actually taxed at 62% on anything over £50k, which really boils my piss.
Edited by LowTread on Friday 1st March 15:29
Edited by LowTread on Friday 1st March 15:33
tty 3 bed end-terrace, like mine.We have recently had similar conversations and although we’ve always been really good with budgets, we don’t break down our ‘everyday spending’ budget. This is whatever is left after all bills, food, fuel and savings that we can spend guilt free.
Some may say it’s overkill but we recently took at look at this everyday spending and a huge amount more than we thought was being spent on adhoc food and eating out. Coffees, cakes and food out (just on weekends) was double what we expected it to be.
Some may say it’s overkill but we recently took at look at this everyday spending and a huge amount more than we thought was being spent on adhoc food and eating out. Coffees, cakes and food out (just on weekends) was double what we expected it to be.
alphanumeric said:
Thanks for your reply, LowTread. Those bits in bold... do you ever feel frustrated that you can't do those things? You're on a good income, they're not extravagant, they're just normal living... but you don't get to treat yourself?
I guess it depends on your definition of treating yourself.I'm not a huge fan of eating out. It doesn't feel like a treat to me. It feels like i'm paying lots for something i could do myself if i put my mind to it. I like being at home more TBH. I don't have a pub/food social life in the same way that you probably do. I have two kids, so i've got used to being at home and a treat would be an evening of being left alone!
Same with clothes. I find shopping for clothes stressful. I get more pleasure of having cheap clothes that i can treat how i like rather than having to be careful.
Maybe i'm just a creature of habit. If i won the lottery i'd probably still be the same!
What's nice is being able to treat the kids. That gives me more pleasure than treating myself.
For example my eldest is into his guitars. He's getting quite good. It's nice to take him to a music shop for his birthday/christmas and just say "ok, what do you need?". So from that point of view i feel very lucky.
But it does mean i've never got much cash to show for my work. I just emptied what savings i had to buy a 4 yr old tesla. The rest i've stuck on a 0% credit card....
Edited by LowTread on Friday 1st March 15:49
As per the usual answer to these things - you don't earn all that much despite what you may think. If you're a homeowner, in a wealthy part of already one of the more wealthy counties, you're likely among people earning much more than you do.
How did you afford the deposit on the house? Because it sounds like it would have been a struggle without help, your neighbours maybe didn't have help? Who knows. But while lots of people are morons with money, there are plenty of folk making quite a lot of it, especially in areas such as yours given proximity to London and the tech companies in Thames Valley etc.
You are right, you probably can't afford to have children without significant family help, that is the way it is now for people 'in the middle'. There have been a fair few threads on this stuff, and the reality is that if you're not totally skint and the state pay for most of your life, then to live a pleasant family lifestyle in a prosperous bit of the UK, you need to earn a lot of money, or have family cash. We are quite cautious with our money but with a mortgage a bit under double yours and one kid in nursery, it costs around about your whole take home. And when the mortgage comes off its low rate I can see that our monthly outgoings will be a 5 figure amount. Which is quite something for what is a fairly normal life in a terraced house in London.
How did you afford the deposit on the house? Because it sounds like it would have been a struggle without help, your neighbours maybe didn't have help? Who knows. But while lots of people are morons with money, there are plenty of folk making quite a lot of it, especially in areas such as yours given proximity to London and the tech companies in Thames Valley etc.
You are right, you probably can't afford to have children without significant family help, that is the way it is now for people 'in the middle'. There have been a fair few threads on this stuff, and the reality is that if you're not totally skint and the state pay for most of your life, then to live a pleasant family lifestyle in a prosperous bit of the UK, you need to earn a lot of money, or have family cash. We are quite cautious with our money but with a mortgage a bit under double yours and one kid in nursery, it costs around about your whole take home. And when the mortgage comes off its low rate I can see that our monthly outgoings will be a 5 figure amount. Which is quite something for what is a fairly normal life in a terraced house in London.
Edited by okgo on Friday 1st March 16:15
alphanumeric said:
Right? I think I just want someone on a similar income to say "yeah we're the same" or "yeah it's tough but actually things aren't so bad because X Y Z"
It's hit everyone and the big thing is we aren't talking about job losses causing it, just the increased costs? But it obviously effects people differently, from not at all noticeable to tipping people over the edge, but far far more people are like you and having an issue with it today, and it has/will start effecting the businesses where expenditure can be cut. Gym, Restaurants are prime candidates? you mention these and they are 'normal' but perks/luxuries, you could easily forego these, perhaps even cook or jog etc with your partner, have a new recipe night or some such? I remember reading about Lebanon's financial crisis and how people haven't eaten <meat> in months it's unaffordable, we are seeing a tiny version of that, things have gone up, essentials we continue to buy at the higher prices, there is no choice? luxuries we either, finance them, use savings, reduce the amount we've been saving, or stop buying them, and I'd argue the stop buying them comes last for most!
So the fact is we perceive/know we are going backwards relative to where we were, it can have quite a negative effect on your outlook, it varies person to person depending on how much of your life is validated/satisfied by the things at risk. Bar the bottom rung you can always have others say you are still better off than 'x' and you could adjust to your new income/expenditure but you just feel a bit pants about it because it's us going backwards.
Your is intensified by the impact on future plans, wedding kids etc. If you can't talk to friends then perhaps do it with your future wife if you haven't already, you'll need to be on the same page going forward.
Edited by Scootersp on Friday 1st March 16:30
LowTread said:
alphanumeric said:
Thanks for your reply, LowTread. Those bits in bold... do you ever feel frustrated that you can't do those things? You're on a good income, they're not extravagant, they're just normal living... but you don't get to treat yourself?
I guess it depends on your definition of treating yourself.I'm not a huge fan of eating out. It doesn't feel like a treat to me. It feels like i'm paying lots for something i could do myself if i put my mind to it. I like being at home more TBH. I don't have a pub/food social life in the same way that you probably do. I have two kids, so i've got used to being at home and a treat would be an evening of being left alone!
Same with clothes. I find shopping for clothes stressful. I get more pleasure of having cheap clothes that i can treat how i like rather than having to be careful.
Maybe i'm just a creature of habit. If i won the lottery i'd probably still be the same!
Edited by LowTread on Friday 1st March 15:49
I recently spent £750 on a 2010 Clio for my son, it had a leaky water pump and I fixed that, all good, and I felt good about it, then last weekend for the first time in years I went to London, wife's friend and her new boyfriend, Swingers golf, and dinner (steak mains and drinks no starters or puds) and then an after dinner cocktail at some semi swanky hotel (£79 for 4 drinks) I worked out the 4 of us probably spent £750 for the day, didn't feel great about my half, still feels like a real waste, misappropriation of funds
I'd rather have had a take out and chit chat and taxed the Clio!But it's really hard to change either way and so I have sympathy for those that are focused on brands or lifestyles as a form of self worth and/or to feel good. Frugality has been a dirty word and so I feel there are more people that like to live up rather than modestly down?
How are you spending £500 per month on a food shop when it's just you and your partner and you eat out a lot?
I must admit, reading your post did irk me, I'm in a far worse position financially but have never felt particularly down about it until now. We track our spending and rarely have anything left at the end of the month after we've covered the essentials. Before we had kids and had to upsize we felt considerably better off and even managed the odd holiday.
There are plenty of things you could be doing to trim your spending, but you appear to be saving over a grand each month which is beyond a dream for someone like me. Think yourself lucky.
I must admit, reading your post did irk me, I'm in a far worse position financially but have never felt particularly down about it until now. We track our spending and rarely have anything left at the end of the month after we've covered the essentials. Before we had kids and had to upsize we felt considerably better off and even managed the odd holiday.
There are plenty of things you could be doing to trim your spending, but you appear to be saving over a grand each month which is beyond a dream for someone like me. Think yourself lucky.
Edited by Discendo Discimus on Friday 1st March 16:37
Discendo Discimus said:
How are you spending £500 per month on a food shop when it's just you and your partner and you eat out a lot?
I must admit, reading your post did irk me, I'm in a far worse position financially but have never felt particularly down about it until now. We track our spending and rarely have anything left at the end of the month after we've covered the essentials.
There are plenty of things you could be doing to trim your spending, but you appear to be saving over a grand each month which is beyond a dream for someone like me. Think yourself lucky.
The thing is, which is likely getting lost here is that saving a few quid on sim card, or a few quid on a food shop isn't going to make any difference. He still will be living the same life, to elevate himself to what he is seeing is thousands, not hundreds - of course scrimping and saving more to save more is intelligent and recommended, but it isn't what is being discussed IMO. I must admit, reading your post did irk me, I'm in a far worse position financially but have never felt particularly down about it until now. We track our spending and rarely have anything left at the end of the month after we've covered the essentials.
There are plenty of things you could be doing to trim your spending, but you appear to be saving over a grand each month which is beyond a dream for someone like me. Think yourself lucky.
Now whether you need that lifestyle you see, or whether the reality is that they earn 50% more than OP does, who knows. But those 'noticeable' lifestyle differences aren't born out of saving a few quid across the board. It is by either borrowing/earning/getting given a lot more money.
Gassing Station | Finance | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff