The DIY and professional trades c*ck-up confessional
Discussion
Simpo Two said:
My best one was when cutting new sections of worktop for my kitchen. I didn't have many power tools at the time so the easiest way to cut it to length was to use a jigsaw. Jigsaws as you know need some space underneath for the blade, so I propped one end of the worktop on a chair, then knelt on the sloping worktop to keep it steady while I sawed through it. I'll leave you to work out what happened when it was about 80% of the way through... Newton had a good chuckle at my expense.
I did something similar with my FILs kitchen when cutting out the sink.The dishwasher doubled as a handy workmate, which i used to support the worktop. Although i positioned the worktop so it was clear of the dishwasher, what i didn't know is that while i went for a wee, the FIL moved the worktop over a foot.
The blade cut a nice sink shaped hole through the plastic top of his Miele dishwasher.
Oh dear, where do I start...not so much c*ck ups as my DIY injuries. 
Cutting plastic fascia board and as I drew the saw back it jumped out of the cut and I pulled it across my wrist causing a nice cut and a b
king from the OH.
Modifying the pipework under our bathroom floor and managed to cut just above my eye with the other end of the pipe as it swung up after I cut it. Got a bking from the OH.
Missed my footing coming down the ladder when I was re-felting my porch roof, fell backwards onto the lawn, but landed on the tin of adhesive and cracked two ribs. The OH was next door having a glass of wine in the neighbours garden, so I got a bking in front of the neighbours from the OH.
The infamous occasion when I was preparing the metal on the inner wings of my RS2000 for some welding. I was cleaning up the surfaces with an angle grinder with a wire cup brush attachment, aware of my safety record I had goggles on, ear defenders, leather gloves and a paper dust mask. Just as I'd taken the dust mask off and was about to get ready to weld, I spotted a bit I'd missed and gave it a quick tickle with the grinder. Unfortunately it caught on an edge which kicked it back towards me causing my arm to bend and bring the spinning cup wheel up to my face. Thought I'd had a close shave with that as I felt the air from the grinder. Then I saw the blood on the garage floor...
Cutting plastic fascia board and as I drew the saw back it jumped out of the cut and I pulled it across my wrist causing a nice cut and a b
king from the OH.Modifying the pipework under our bathroom floor and managed to cut just above my eye with the other end of the pipe as it swung up after I cut it. Got a b
king from the OH.Missed my footing coming down the ladder when I was re-felting my porch roof, fell backwards onto the lawn, but landed on the tin of adhesive and cracked two ribs. The OH was next door having a glass of wine in the neighbours garden, so I got a b
king in front of the neighbours from the OH.The infamous occasion when I was preparing the metal on the inner wings of my RS2000 for some welding. I was cleaning up the surfaces with an angle grinder with a wire cup brush attachment, aware of my safety record I had goggles on, ear defenders, leather gloves and a paper dust mask. Just as I'd taken the dust mask off and was about to get ready to weld, I spotted a bit I'd missed and gave it a quick tickle with the grinder. Unfortunately it caught on an edge which kicked it back towards me causing my arm to bend and bring the spinning cup wheel up to my face. Thought I'd had a close shave with that as I felt the air from the grinder. Then I saw the blood on the garage floor...
OldSkoolRS said:
Oh dear, where do I start...not so much c*ck ups as my DIY injuries.
Cutting plastic fascia board and as I drew the saw back it jumped out of the cut and I pulled it across my wrist causing a nice cut and a bking from the OH.
Modifying the pipework under our bathroom floor and managed to cut just above my eye with the other end of the pipe as it swung up after I cut it. Got a bking from the OH.
Missed my footing coming down the ladder when I was re-felting my porch roof, fell backwards onto the lawn, but landed on the tin of adhesive and cracked two ribs. The OH was next door having a glass of wine in the neighbours garden, so I got a bking in front of the neighbours from the OH.
The infamous occasion when I was preparing the metal on the inner wings of my RS2000 for some welding. I was cleaning up the surfaces with an angle grinder with a wire cup brush attachment, aware of my safety record I had goggles on, ear defenders, leather gloves and a paper dust mask. Just as I'd taken the dust mask off and was about to get ready to weld, I spotted a bit I'd missed and gave it a quick tickle with the grinder. Unfortunately it caught on an edge which kicked it back towards me causing my arm to bend and bring the spinning cup wheel up to my face. Thought I'd had a close shave with that as I felt the air from the grinder. Then I saw the blood on the garage floor...
I fear for your safety....Cutting plastic fascia board and as I drew the saw back it jumped out of the cut and I pulled it across my wrist causing a nice cut and a b
king from the OH.Modifying the pipework under our bathroom floor and managed to cut just above my eye with the other end of the pipe as it swung up after I cut it. Got a b
king from the OH.Missed my footing coming down the ladder when I was re-felting my porch roof, fell backwards onto the lawn, but landed on the tin of adhesive and cracked two ribs. The OH was next door having a glass of wine in the neighbours garden, so I got a b
king in front of the neighbours from the OH.The infamous occasion when I was preparing the metal on the inner wings of my RS2000 for some welding. I was cleaning up the surfaces with an angle grinder with a wire cup brush attachment, aware of my safety record I had goggles on, ear defenders, leather gloves and a paper dust mask. Just as I'd taken the dust mask off and was about to get ready to weld, I spotted a bit I'd missed and gave it a quick tickle with the grinder. Unfortunately it caught on an edge which kicked it back towards me causing my arm to bend and bring the spinning cup wheel up to my face. Thought I'd had a close shave with that as I felt the air from the grinder. Then I saw the blood on the garage floor...
OldSkoolRS said:
Oh dear, where do I start...not so much c*ck ups as my DIY injuries.
Cutting plastic fascia board and as I drew the saw back it jumped out of the cut and I pulled it across my wrist causing a nice cut and a bking from the OH.
Modifying the pipework under our bathroom floor and managed to cut just above my eye with the other end of the pipe as it swung up after I cut it. Got a bking from the OH.
Missed my footing coming down the ladder when I was re-felting my porch roof, fell backwards onto the lawn, but landed on the tin of adhesive and cracked two ribs. The OH was next door having a glass of wine in the neighbours garden, so I got a bking in front of the neighbours from the OH.
The infamous occasion when I was preparing the metal on the inner wings of my RS2000 for some welding. I was cleaning up the surfaces with an angle grinder with a wire cup brush attachment, aware of my safety record I had goggles on, ear defenders, leather gloves and a paper dust mask. Just as I'd taken the dust mask off and was about to get ready to weld, I spotted a bit I'd missed and gave it a quick tickle with the grinder. Unfortunately it caught on an edge which kicked it back towards me causing my arm to bend and bring the spinning cup wheel up to my face. Thought I'd had a close shave with that as I felt the air from the grinder. Then I saw the blood on the garage floor...
You are Ensnan aicmfpCutting plastic fascia board and as I drew the saw back it jumped out of the cut and I pulled it across my wrist causing a nice cut and a b
king from the OH.Modifying the pipework under our bathroom floor and managed to cut just above my eye with the other end of the pipe as it swung up after I cut it. Got a b
king from the OH.Missed my footing coming down the ladder when I was re-felting my porch roof, fell backwards onto the lawn, but landed on the tin of adhesive and cracked two ribs. The OH was next door having a glass of wine in the neighbours garden, so I got a b
king in front of the neighbours from the OH.The infamous occasion when I was preparing the metal on the inner wings of my RS2000 for some welding. I was cleaning up the surfaces with an angle grinder with a wire cup brush attachment, aware of my safety record I had goggles on, ear defenders, leather gloves and a paper dust mask. Just as I'd taken the dust mask off and was about to get ready to weld, I spotted a bit I'd missed and gave it a quick tickle with the grinder. Unfortunately it caught on an edge which kicked it back towards me causing my arm to bend and bring the spinning cup wheel up to my face. Thought I'd had a close shave with that as I felt the air from the grinder. Then I saw the blood on the garage floor...
Many years ago I was helping to set out an off road trials event. Before leaving for the day I put a spare battery on charge in the garden shed.
During the day I used a long handled slashing tool to clear some undergrowth, blunted it quite badly and took it home to sharpen it. I went into the shed, placed the tool in the vice and started on the blade with the angle grinder.
There was a bang; quite a big bang! My first instinctive action was to drop the grinder, I thought that it had shorted.
Opening my eyes brought instant realisation of what I'd done. Of course I'd ignited the hydrogen from the battery which, having been on charge all day, was gassing away furiously.
About half of the battery remained on the work bench, the remainer had left via the shed door and was about 20 feet across the garden. The shed windows above the bench had been blown out and the walls were now an interesting shade of sulphuric acid. The thoughts about what a dummy I'd been didn't last long though.
My habit of wearing gloves and a full face shield when using the grinder had saved my hands and face from a battery acid shower - the top of my head wasn't so lucky.
Hence my neighbour later told me that she thought it highly amusing to see me run up the path, grab the garden hose and give myself a cold shower.
During the day I used a long handled slashing tool to clear some undergrowth, blunted it quite badly and took it home to sharpen it. I went into the shed, placed the tool in the vice and started on the blade with the angle grinder.
There was a bang; quite a big bang! My first instinctive action was to drop the grinder, I thought that it had shorted.
Opening my eyes brought instant realisation of what I'd done. Of course I'd ignited the hydrogen from the battery which, having been on charge all day, was gassing away furiously.
About half of the battery remained on the work bench, the remainer had left via the shed door and was about 20 feet across the garden. The shed windows above the bench had been blown out and the walls were now an interesting shade of sulphuric acid. The thoughts about what a dummy I'd been didn't last long though.
My habit of wearing gloves and a full face shield when using the grinder had saved my hands and face from a battery acid shower - the top of my head wasn't so lucky.
Hence my neighbour later told me that she thought it highly amusing to see me run up the path, grab the garden hose and give myself a cold shower.
One or two ...
Hired a Mini-Digger and put the bucket straight through the water main (which shouldn't have been there), frantic repairs and a small lake later all sorted. Got back on the digger and with the first hand movement went straight through it again!
Taking a fan unit out of the glasshouse (commercial), turned off the mains went up the stepladder with the bolt croppers to cut the armoured cable and yes, wrong main turned off and I don't remember the ten foot trip across the bay.
I've done the grinding metal into the door trick with glass and also set fire to a couple of pairs of overalls.
Lit a bonfire over the route of the armoured feed to the garage, three hours later and I couldn't work out what the fireworks were in the garden, didn't trip out for some time.
Bonfire under the telephone cable for next door (shouldn't have been so low!) cleared u quickly so BT didn't see the cause.
Long handled petrol hedge-trimmer on top of a ten foot tower and forgot the other phone cable going the opposite way, BT were very forgiving and as I reported it they didn't charge :-)
Many many other smaller mis-haps but on the whole I still reckon I save money on DIY
Hired a Mini-Digger and put the bucket straight through the water main (which shouldn't have been there), frantic repairs and a small lake later all sorted. Got back on the digger and with the first hand movement went straight through it again!
Taking a fan unit out of the glasshouse (commercial), turned off the mains went up the stepladder with the bolt croppers to cut the armoured cable and yes, wrong main turned off and I don't remember the ten foot trip across the bay.
I've done the grinding metal into the door trick with glass and also set fire to a couple of pairs of overalls.
Lit a bonfire over the route of the armoured feed to the garage, three hours later and I couldn't work out what the fireworks were in the garden, didn't trip out for some time.
Bonfire under the telephone cable for next door (shouldn't have been so low!) cleared u quickly so BT didn't see the cause.
Long handled petrol hedge-trimmer on top of a ten foot tower and forgot the other phone cable going the opposite way, BT were very forgiving and as I reported it they didn't charge :-)
Many many other smaller mis-haps but on the whole I still reckon I save money on DIY
Had a sllight mishap whilst building a flat pack Ikea full height wardrobe. Constuction commenced with it on its side. Two sides, top and bottom screwed together and sorted. At this point the instructions did say to get a second person to help whilst standing it up. Decided to proceed alone and nearly got it standing up but sadly the strain on the screws as it neared vertical became too much and the whole thing collapsed with the screws ripping out chuncks of chipboard as they popped out. It ended up in a flat pack heap in a cloud of dust and wood chippings with me narrowly avoiding injury by legging it into the hall.
Having some building work done and builders knock old phone cable and it stops working. Phone BT who come out look at the 40year old cable and little box on outside of house and decide it all needs replacing. Drill wall and straight through the sky cable. They phone sky to repair and thrn finish the phone line. Sky bloke turns up and starts work and drills through the brand new phone line.
Just after getting married Mrs N decided to cook a sunday dinner for all the family, meats in the oven yorkshire pudding half cooked, she asks me to hang a mirror on the wall,wedding present of course, quite heavy so I was going to drill through to brick behind, blinding flash, drilled through the cooker cable, oven and hob out of action, I had to hack a big hole in a newly plastered wall to make a repair.
What made it worse with the Mrs was me complaining because I'd ruined a new masonry drill.
What made it worse with the Mrs was me complaining because I'd ruined a new masonry drill.
Ray Luxury-Yacht said:
Jam Spavlin said:
Ray Luxury-Yacht said:
Rust speckles on my door.
Get hold of a claybar kit and use it on the back door, it should remove most of the embedded shrapnel! 
Okais then - I will give it a go. Thanks!
Working in a large DIY store overnight, helping with their manual stock-take. Dave, the assistant manager in charge of the stock-take, had told me to move some pallets about in the warehouse. I told him I didn't have a forklift license but had used one before elsewhere. He said that was OK and to just get on with it.
About 3am Dave asked me to get these three pallets of paint, which were triple stacked on top of each other, down from the top of the 6 meter high warehouse racking.
I got in the forklift and drove it over to the racking. As I started raising the forks up I noticed they were quite close together, I guess the forklift had most recently been used to move a mini-pallet or something, anyway I never really thought about it much.
I slid the forks into the gap under the bottom pallet and raised all three pallets up slightly. I tilted the forks back a little and started reversing slowly away from the racking.
I felt the forklift swaying slightly, due to weight of the several hundreds of litres of paint being so high up.
Once the back of the pallets were clear of the front of the rack I was about to start lowering them but suddenly the bottom pallet of the three snapped and the whole lot came crashing down, smashing into the concrete floor and exploding in a technicolour tsunami in all directions.
Several of us were covered in paint but fortunately nobody was injured. It took 3 hours for us to scoop up the paint into dustbins. Apart from the lost hundreds of litres of paint a fair amount of other stock in the surrounding area was also written off due to collateral damage.
Dave went mental when he saw the forklift forks were so close together and he realised that was the reason the pallet had snapped.
Because I had no forklift license, for the insurance claim and the accident report, Dave had to say he was driving the forklift when the pallet mysteriously snapped. I forget how much the insurance claim was for, but it was in the thousands.
About 3am Dave asked me to get these three pallets of paint, which were triple stacked on top of each other, down from the top of the 6 meter high warehouse racking.
I got in the forklift and drove it over to the racking. As I started raising the forks up I noticed they were quite close together, I guess the forklift had most recently been used to move a mini-pallet or something, anyway I never really thought about it much.
I slid the forks into the gap under the bottom pallet and raised all three pallets up slightly. I tilted the forks back a little and started reversing slowly away from the racking.
I felt the forklift swaying slightly, due to weight of the several hundreds of litres of paint being so high up.
Once the back of the pallets were clear of the front of the rack I was about to start lowering them but suddenly the bottom pallet of the three snapped and the whole lot came crashing down, smashing into the concrete floor and exploding in a technicolour tsunami in all directions.
Several of us were covered in paint but fortunately nobody was injured. It took 3 hours for us to scoop up the paint into dustbins. Apart from the lost hundreds of litres of paint a fair amount of other stock in the surrounding area was also written off due to collateral damage.
Dave went mental when he saw the forklift forks were so close together and he realised that was the reason the pallet had snapped.
Because I had no forklift license, for the insurance claim and the accident report, Dave had to say he was driving the forklift when the pallet mysteriously snapped. I forget how much the insurance claim was for, but it was in the thousands.
Edited by 4737Carlin on Monday 8th December 18:39
Compared to some of ye mine are only minor brain fart mistakes.
Other week finishing off a kitchen and without checking I went ahead and drilled through for the handle of a single door unit. Tried to open it and then
Realised I had drilled the holes on the left hand side rather than the right. I will let you guess which side the hinges were on.
Oh and fitting a bathroom once and all ready to turn water supply back on i completely forgot I hadn't got the shower hooked up yet and it was uncapped. Doh. Double doh when the water started to flow in to the living room via the light fitting.
Other week finishing off a kitchen and without checking I went ahead and drilled through for the handle of a single door unit. Tried to open it and then
Realised I had drilled the holes on the left hand side rather than the right. I will let you guess which side the hinges were on.
Oh and fitting a bathroom once and all ready to turn water supply back on i completely forgot I hadn't got the shower hooked up yet and it was uncapped. Doh. Double doh when the water started to flow in to the living room via the light fitting.
Salesy said:
. He even tried to cover it up with white gaffa tape.
I hate these kinds of animals. one-week-wonder excuse for a plumber scorched some plastic trunking & all my cables within on a job, "fixed" it by cutting 2" off the lid and moving it up (leaving 2" exposed cabling the other end which wasn't at all obvious...
)
OldSkoolRS said:
The infamous occasion when I was preparing the metal on the inner wings of my RS2000 for some welding. I was cleaning up the surfaces with an angle grinder with a wire cup brush attachment, aware of my safety record I had goggles on, ear defenders, leather gloves and a paper dust mask. Just as I'd taken the dust mask off and was about to get ready to weld, I spotted a bit I'd missed and gave it a quick tickle with the grinder. Unfortunately it caught on an edge which kicked it back towards me causing my arm to bend and bring the spinning cup wheel up to my face. Thought I'd had a close shave with that as I felt the air from the grinder. Then I saw the blood on the garage floor...
Ah, the old, lift goggles up, spy a bit you've missed, and "just one more touch". Been there, got a load of metal shards embedded in my eyeball. Had to get the OH to take me to A&E so that a nice man could pick them out one by one with a hypodermic needle. Can't recommend it, really.I think my best was fitting a new electric cable and socket one night ready for the plasterer to come the next day. A couple of days later, after it had dried, I connected it all up, and plugged my drill into the socket so that I could drill some holes for a shelf bracket. Drillllllll....BANG! Straight through the cable I'd fitted only days before. 'Tard.
Gassing Station | Homes, Gardens and DIY | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff