Help 6yr old son stealing and lying

Help 6yr old son stealing and lying

Author
Discussion

Bunfighter

Original Poster:

37,119 posts

211 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Seems to be getting worse, started off with being cheeky. Now he's lying alot and has started 'finding' £1 coins and claiming they are his. This morning he took £3 from his mum's purse and claimed he hadn't.

Is this a slippery slope to criminality - he's obsessed with saving money and getting money at the moment. Help, what can we do?

At school he's a star pupil and is always horrified if I say 'I'll tell your teacher'.

Edited by Bunfighter on Monday 27th February 10:01

jas xjr

11,309 posts

239 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
i do not have any children , so feel free to ignore my thoughts. i have helped bring up four children in my family.
if he likes money , teach him that it might be easier to earn it , rather than take it. the main thing for me would be to emphasise that his behaviour is not acceptable.

Orchid1

878 posts

108 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Get a police officer to speak to him about the consequences of stealing.

Sheets Tabuer

18,956 posts

215 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Orchid1 said:
Get a police officer to speak to him about the consequences of stealing.
How would that work?

OP: Hello is that the police?
police: yes how can we help you?
OP: I have a 6 year old that stole a pound, can you send someone around to have a chat?
Police: We'll send our best man.

Alternatively the good old sending them to bed and telling them to pack it in might work.

biggrin

Mansells Tash

5,713 posts

206 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Bunfighter said:
Seems to be getting worse, started off with being cheeky. Now he's lying alot and has started 'finding' £1 coins and claiming they are his. This morning he took £3 from his mum's purse and claimed he hadn't.

Is this a slippery slope to criminality - he's obsessed with saving money and getting money at the moment. Help, what can we do?

At school he's a star pupil and is always horrified if I say 'I'll tell your teacher'.

Edited by Bunfighter on Monday 27th February 10:01
The question is what HAVE you already tried? How do you know he took three pounds from the purse and didn't find them down the back of the sofa?

You've not really given us enough information to provide any useful commentary.

Bunfighter

Original Poster:

37,119 posts

211 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Mansells Tash said:
The question is what HAVE you already tried? How do you know he took three pounds from the purse and didn't find them down the back of the sofa?

You've not really given us enough information to provide any useful commentary.
She realised this when she checked her purse for tram fair. That she knew was there from the night before.

thebraketester

14,224 posts

138 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Simple. Everytime he steals some money, steal (hide) something that belongs to him.

Mansells Tash

5,713 posts

206 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Bunfighter said:
Mansells Tash said:
The question is what HAVE you already tried? How do you know he took three pounds from the purse and didn't find them down the back of the sofa?

You've not really given us enough information to provide any useful commentary.
She realised this when she checked her purse for tram fair. That she knew was there from the night before.
Ok, and what have you tried?

Orchid1

878 posts

108 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Sheets Tabuer said:
How would that work?

OP: Hello is that the police?
police: yes how can we help you?
OP: I have a 6 year old that stole a pound, can you send someone around to have a chat?
Police: We'll send our best man.

Alternatively the good old sending them to bed and telling them to pack it in might work.

biggrin
A woman in my work did it with her son and it worked a treat apparently.

fido

16,796 posts

255 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Pocket money.

hyphen

26,262 posts

90 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
What is he saving/wanting the money for?

Rawwr

22,722 posts

234 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Have you tried throwing his TV out of the window?

Bunfighter

Original Poster:

37,119 posts

211 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
I know a few. I'll ask one to pop in.

Bunfighter

Original Poster:

37,119 posts

211 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
hyphen said:
What is he saving/wanting the money for?
Lego and nerf guns.

Good point on pocket money.

WestyCarl

3,245 posts

125 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Have a discussion about consequences of his actions and whatever you tell him you're going to do after he lies or steals, follow through with it.

Racing rabbit

140 posts

138 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Is he being bullied at school?

Shakermaker

11,317 posts

100 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
I was 6 once. 26 years ago now.

He is pushing the limits and doesn't understand the consequence of what he is doing and the impact it has. He sees that these coins have a value to people, and so he wants more of them and thinks he can get away with it.

Talk to him. Just talk to him. Explain why it is wrong, and try and link it to something he can comprehend. No need yet to get the police involved; but explain to him how stealing is wrong, and lying is wrong and what would he feel if someone stole his actual favourite toy, and how bad he would feel if he knew the person who stole it was lying about it.

Why does he want this money? What is it for? Find out. Then try and use that to set a goal for him to work towards maybe? If he tells the truth, and behaves properly then a reward? Reward systems seem to work well with children. They can see their progress, they can see their goal at the end. As my wife will tell you, she's a primary school teacher, children of that age will do nearly ANYTHING for a sticker on their acheivement chart.

KarlMac

4,480 posts

141 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Bunfighter said:
hyphen said:
What is he saving/wanting the money for?
Lego and nerf guns.
Hard to argue with that to be fair.


Give him the opportunity to earn the money, if that doesn't work then start hiding his stuff.

Terminator X

15,049 posts

204 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Imho he needs consequences attached to the things that he does both good and bad. Treats for good stuff and, say, missing out on good things that he likes for the bad eg give a warning such as if you do that again this will happen and then (this is important) if he does it again do what you said you would do. There will be tears and tantrums initially however once he gets used to it behaviour will improve imho. Got to sort it now though as will be so much harder when older.

TX.

PS Kids do not need beatings like the "good old days" just in case this descends in to the usual slap them around a bit threads.

MarshPhantom

9,658 posts

137 months

Monday 27th February 2017
quotequote all
Bunfighter said:
Seems to be getting worse, started off with being cheeky. Now he's lying alot and has started 'finding' £1 coins and claiming they are his. This morning he took £3 from his mum's purse and claimed he hadn't.

Is this a slippery slope to criminality - he's obsessed with saving money and getting money at the moment.
Slippery slope to becoming a Tory.