Our new project House (and rock cave houses)

Our new project House (and rock cave houses)

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Discussion

sherman

13,398 posts

216 months

Friday 27th October 2023
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The obvious answer to the mower solution is drive the landy up to the top and attach it via a pto drive to a winch for the mower.

jeremyc

23,564 posts

285 months

Friday 27th October 2023
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sherman said:
The obvious answer to the mower solution is drive the landy up to the top and attach it via a pto drive to a winch for the mower.
nonoGang mower and tow it with the Land Rover. No need to get the mower to the top then. wink

RC1807

12,556 posts

169 months

Friday 27th October 2023
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Superb outcome. Genuinely outstanding content.
Well done to you!

loudlashadjuster

5,154 posts

185 months

Friday 27th October 2023
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Somehow only stumbled on this thread the other day, have since spent a few enjoyable hours binging on it. I’m sad I wasn’t on the journey with you, but being able to gallop through it all and get to the money shot at the end was rewarding in its own way biggrin

Everything has already been said about what an entertaining and enjoyable read you’ve given us, and what a stunning home you have ended up with, but I have to add my voice to the chorus (not two berth).

Having just about managed a much more modest build during Covid without bankruptcy/killing ourselves, I know some of what you have gone through in the past couple of years.

I look forward to the continued adventures of getting the garden and rock houses finished.

Chapeau! And here’s to many happy years in you new home beer

Megaflow

9,458 posts

226 months

Saturday 28th October 2023
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They always end up over budget, and generally by a lot too...

When we last moved we both agreed it had to be detached, Mrs Megaflow wanted an en suite and I wanted a double garage. We couldn't find what we wanted, but we did find a nice 3 bed detached with a double garage, but no ensuite. The double garage was attached to the house and had a flat roof. Before I even rang the estate agent to view it, a quick look at the floor plan revealed the stairs were in the right place to put a new master suite with dressing room and en suite above the garage.

Initial budget was 40K, that quickly rose to 60K and then when we decided, fcensoredk it, we might as well knock the kitchen through into the room that was behind the garage that was being badly underused, so we'd have a big kitchen dinner, as well as a new kitchen. we ended up spending ~£85k.

I was working as a cost engineer at the time...

paperbag

thepritch

594 posts

166 months

Sunday 29th October 2023
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It might have been said but this build thread has been thoroughly enjoyable and rivals Grand Designs in terms of scope, depth of thought, jeopardy, and craftsmanship and pure entertainment.

(But I don’t think you had any kids during the build did you?)

Well done, and thank you for sharing the excitement and sheer hard work of your huge project with us all. I think you’ve managed to inspire a good lot of readers here at PH to perhaps push the boat out a bit and get stuck in.

Thank you CTO!

CTO

Original Poster:

2,653 posts

211 months

Sunday 5th November 2023
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TimmyMallett said:
CTO said:
The latter seems to be a man of regional mystery. I don’t know when he may call, if he may call, when he may arrive, if he arrives at all….
I am familiar with the profound that is MoRM.

You need to exercise caution with your expectations as I am sure they share properties with quantum physics in that if you think about them turning up, they never will, but if you keep them in your peripheral awareness but never actually focus on them, they rock up at a time that makes the first thing you exclaim.... 'I wasn't expecting you this soon!'....it’s a pavlovian response to a nice surprise
You were absolutely bang on the money.

I decided to stop thinking about it, and lo, on Thursday the Gateman did call and announce he cometh, the following day!

So now we have gates that are electric and ting. Snazzy! laugh

Bearing in mind that one company quoted us £2300 plus VAT for the install (and it really was just the install of the Ram and Control box etc. Electrical feed and cat 6a I put in 2022, as per below)



And


The company we actually used charged us £650. That included adding a new key pad and putting the cabling in for that, fabricating a bracket on site to get the geometry right, connecting the electrics at both ends and installing an isolator box, and they threw in some key ring tag thingys which they found in the back of their van and saves the MiL having to try and remember the code… laugh

I wanted to put some lights on the pillars, to make the place look a bit more inviting, but didn’t want to spend much and also didn’t want them to be too sudden..

Quick browse on Amazon and these arrived today..



Took about 20 mins to install (two screws per light), and out gates now look like this…




Looks ok, I reckon.

Will see how they last, being made of pure Chinesium. laugh

This week.

Mr Dig arrives back tomorrow, equipped with his Digger, natch.

The plan is to remove the excess earth from the area by the gabions, grade it all, move the surplus earth to by the LPG tank and raise the level a bit, and then grade that as well.

We then have about 36 ton of road planings to be delivered which we will spread round the perimeter of the house and compact. The compacted planings will then become the hardcore for the patio, and for the slabs to provide a path around the house…

I am on dumper driving duty on Thurs and Friday. Last time I did that, I got it on three wheels when turning on a slope, and nearly st myself….

Hopefully it’s less traumatic this time!

Cheers all,

CTO

Original Poster:

2,653 posts

211 months

Sunday 5th November 2023
quotequote all
thepritch said:
It might have been said but this build thread has been thoroughly enjoyable and rivals Grand Designs in terms of scope, depth of thought, jeopardy, and craftsmanship and pure entertainment.

(But I don’t think you had any kids during the build did you?)

Well done, and thank you for sharing the excitement and sheer hard work of your huge project with us all. I think you’ve managed to inspire a good lot of readers here at PH to perhaps push the boat out a bit and get stuck in.

Thank you CTO!
Thank you!!!

We didn’t have any kids laugh

We did adopt the one eyed bandit, from a rescue place who got her via a puppy farm…



Giving rise to one of the pics from the last two years which makes me smile the most…

The reaction from our other dog,, who until this point had enjoyed a canine life of solitary spoilt bliss…



The face on it laugh

Clearly thinking “WTaF is that thing in the back of MY car”

Cheers all,

CTO

Original Poster:

2,653 posts

211 months

Thursday 30th November 2023
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Gooooooooood evening all….



I hope you are all keeping well, and warm during this inclement weather smile

Fair to say we are some degrees warmer this year than last, I estimate the amount of degrees being about 10. This being the time last year we were in the trusty Chorus Mk II (two berth) and the air was freezing as it left our shivering bodies….

More on that later…..

Last time we all spoke, we were in the process of tidying up the rear, with some help from Mr Dig and Gabion Graham..

So, a bit of an update on that.

It was a bit of a mission to get done, dodging around the weather, but it had to be at least usable during the winter months and covered in some type of aggregate to prevent the “Seal On Legs” and the artist formerly known as “the one eyed bandit” and now known as “ASBO”, from traipsing mud throughout the house.

It was looking like this…



this



And this…..



Just a bit of a mess really laugh

And of course it rained, making it look like this



And this



FMaL laugh

But we cracked on….

At this point, my brother and nephew decided to put in an appearance, ostensibly being in the Midlands “on business”, but I suspect probably just to come and point and laugh smile

Good opportunity for a famalam selfie though…



I am the good looking one, on the left thumbup

In typical style, they decided to stitch me up upon their arrival……

I didn’t notice they had arrived, and they pulled up in separate cars out the front of the house, suited and booted and were met as strangers by Mr Dig…

Now, Mr Dig, he ain’t a big guy, but he coulda been a contender, and is not the type to kowtow to “furriners” in fancy metal and sharp threads….

Think the personality of this fella…..



But in turned up “site” trousers….

Being the humorous type, they announced to Mr Dig that they were bailiffs, had come to repossess the property and were looking for the owner…

Mr Dig however, had other ideas. Fixing them both with a steely glare, he said “oh yeah, what’s the owners name then?”

My brother purported to consider the question, and then announced my correct name… to the considerable shock of Mr Dig, who by this stage was caught between loyalty/having my back, and wondering if we had gone belly up, and whether he was going to get paid.. laugh

I came round the corner to what was shaping up to be frosty stand off. My brother later confessing he thought Mr Dig was fixing up to batter him with the shovel he was holding smile

It turns out Mr Dig has a pathological hatred of Bailiff’s laugh

That interlude over, and with the sun coming out over a rapidly retreating famalam, we cracked on with putting the hardcore down, turning the soggy site into this…



This



And this





Brutal but functional, is how I would sum it up.

There is far too much aggregate about the place, but this will be balanced out next year as we seed the area to the right, left and behind of the house, narrow down the paths and get some edging in…. hopefully.

To celebrate not having a back yard that looked like a quagmire, and our sixth anniversary, the wife and I bought some Christmas jumpers…



And went out on the piss…

Now, it’s been a long time since we could let our hair down and enjoy a night out as bezzies, without a hangover dominated by house worries…

So we decided to go on a pub crawl..

Except we got to the first pub, got absolutely leathered and went nowhere else. The wife accosted the pub singer for a dance and I got copped onto by an amorous and surprisingly muscular 84 yr old lascivious spinster with a gleam in her eye.

Glory days smile

Some days later, having recovered from the bacchanalian marauding of the weekend, we set about prepping the Chorus for her new home..

Firstly, we had to take off the home made sidings, of which I was so proud back in the day, disconnect her from the utilities and clean out the remainder of our belongings which we had left in there..

Much like my would be paramour from the previous weekend, the Chorus also looked a bit past her heyday, and she too smelt a little fousty.





And although we aren’t sad to see the back of her, she served us well, and it felt fitting that we kept a treasure to remember her by…



She is due to be collected on Saturday lunchtime and to go to her new home, a young couple who have bought a house project and are going to live in the Chorus whilst they undertake the building works.

Viva la Chorus smile



Firstly however, we actually need to get her off the property and down to the road for the transport company.

For reference; this is how she went in
(Click for video)





Which doesn’t look tooooooo difficult, other than the fact that we now have these;



Which I have grown to be quite fond of..

A quick measure suggests that we should have about three inches of clearance either side, if it is taken at a straight angle, which it can’t be.

To deal with the above, Jamie, the fence building Farmer, and Paul, the gas tank bulldozing Farmer, are both arriving at 10am on Saturday, armed with their respective tractors, some chains, and a Dunkirk spirit attitude.

Jamie has offered that if it can’t be got out easily, he will pick it up with the tines on his tractor, and throw it over the hedge into the road..

One was not amused….



We do have some further updates to add, including how Gabion Graham came to be renamed “Gerald”. Why the “one eyed bandit” is now called “ASBO”, and why we now have a half built porch bolted to the front of the house..

I will try and make some time to update tomorrow ahead of the big move on Saturday.

Thanks, and our apologies it has been a while since the last update.

Cheers all,

TimmyMallett

2,859 posts

113 months

Friday 1st December 2023
quotequote all
Happy Christmas smile


Have you considered utilising a rock cave for a Nativity Scene, complete with baby Jesus and a donkey and making it a local selfie hotspot?

CTO

Original Poster:

2,653 posts

211 months

Friday 1st December 2023
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Hey Timmy,

I hadn't, but I have now laugh

and thank you. Happy Christmas to you too, and thanks for all your contributions to this thread smile


Dadof2

122 posts

133 months

Friday 1st December 2023
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A brilliant update to an exceptional thread and project, thanks for sharing, we look forward to the Chorus extraction!

Austin_Metro

1,242 posts

49 months

Friday 1st December 2023
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This is gold. Could you do another build please?

trixical

1,057 posts

176 months

Saturday 2nd December 2023
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TimmyMallett said:
Have you considered utilising a rock cave for a Nativity Scene, complete with baby Jesus and a donkey and making it a local selfie hotspot?
This is a stella idea roflthumbup

I hope you didn't have to resort to throwing the chorus over the hedge today

prand

5,916 posts

197 months

Sunday 3rd December 2023
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This popped up on my Facebook feed and reminded me of this thread. Has someone been poking about in your garden OP? https://fb.watch/oHXOoBzL_w/

CTO

Original Poster:

2,653 posts

211 months

Sunday 17th December 2023
quotequote all
Evening all!

Hope you’re all keeping well and ready for the festive break!


Prand: regarding your post above and the Facebook clips. It dates back to just prior purchasing the house. It was one of the first videos we saw whilst we were waiting to exchange and complete, and tbh it gave us the heebies re weirdo’s wandering round the place!

Largely, all that nonsense has now stopped. The last occasion was when we were building the drive access, back in June 21. Despite building plant being all over the site, some oddball posted a video of himself on our drive, in front of the rock house, declaring it an amazing abandoned site of interest, lost for years……

Except, if our intrepid explorer had actually panned round everrrrrrr so slightly, this would have been in shot laugh



One of our friends actually ventured onto Facebook, to add a comment saying “this isn’t abandoned, this is my friends house and you are trespassing”.

She got called a fantasist, and a “Grubby Liar” for her troubles….. People were really hostile and quite abusive. All that being said, the term Grubby Liar has however now entered our friendship group ideolect laugh

Anyhow, that was then, and thankfully, this is now smile

Last time we spoke, we were readying ourselves for the departure of the trusty Chorus. A sad day, but also a valedictory tribute to the service of the fibreglass home on wheels.

So. The day dawned, and the day was fakking freezing!

I managed to grab some last pics of the balmy conditions within the Chorus. Bearing in mind it was -2 degrees in the morn, and also consider that this time last year it was -7 degrees, and we were living/existing/surviving in it…



On the day of the move this year, it be chilly in the Van







Heeding the advice of some time served Park Home locals, I had left the tap on overnight, very low to prevent the pipes freezing…

Clearly left it on a bit too low, this happened laugh



Undeterred, our incredible friends arrived at 10am, and we were good to go!

Farmer Paul arrived in his Ford



Farmer Jamie arrived in his 4WD Massey



The plan was for Farmer Paul to be the lead vehicle, his tractor being lighter and nimbler and easier to shunt the van about to get it on the right trajectory to get it through the gate…

If we couldn’t manage the right angle….



Farmer Jamie was gonna pick the arse of the van up, with the big spikes on the front loader wedged under the chassis rails and shunt the van sideways until we could get it through the gate…

So, we had a plan, of sorts.

We had enough heavy machinery to get the job done, we had some biscuits, and my head was rapidly going numb with the cold, so on we cracked……

First line up was looking good smile



Albeit a little bit snug….









All going swimmingly well. We were beginning to smile triumphantly to our assembled wives, a bit like…



It went downhill from this point on, both literally and figuratively.

The Chorus became comprehensively wedged. Half in the gate, half out the gate.



The main issue was the camber of our access ramp up to the drive, which has a bit of a lean on it, a bit off camber…

This meant that as the chorus passed the half way point, it was able to roll laterally on the sidewalls of its very perished and ancient teeny tiny pram wheels.

Think the kind of wheels you get on a knackered old boat trailer, equally as rusty, but with the same stance as this…



We tried moving it back and forward a bit, but the gatepost was threatening to rip the side out of the van, so we tried our back up plan of lifting the rear with the tines on the front loader of the Massey.



And then half walking/ half dragging it sideways. I didn’t trust the chassis enough to do a full lift, and I didn’t trust the axle enough to simply whop a chain round it and give it a pull with the full weight of the van on it…

Little by little, expecting any minute for the whole thing to collapse, we eekied the van sideways

Click the below for a short vid; you can see the tractor bouncing the van sideways… eek



But it worked!!! eek and using that methodology, and a LOT of silent praying to the builders of the ancient van, we managed to ease her through the gate and down the drive



And into her temporary resting place on the road outside the house, awaiting her transport to her new home..





And then the transport arrived….



Up she went……



And away she went….







I can’t really remember what the patch where it sat looked like without a van plonked on it…

It looks like this smile



Tbh, it was bit bare… so I put a plant there instead thumbup



smile

We got the van moved just in time, for the next day the Snowlercoaster clanked into view…





Very pretty, but would have been an utter PITA had it happened 24hrs earlier!

The next week, our long awaited shutters arrived, in many boxes, stored in the lounge and awaiting installation smile



(That’s about 1/2 of them. There was another van load which arrived with the installers!)

The following Monday, the installation guys arrived and set about fitting them…

The lounge



The downstairs cloak



The guest bedroom



The office



And our en-suite



There are also shutters in our bedroom, but I forgot to get a pic of them from the inside…

From the outside tho, they look like this laugh



(Not sure why they look green, they aren’t. Maybe summat to do with the solar glazing on the rear elevation???)

There has also been a lot going on in other parts of the house, getting it ready for Christmas.

The alarm system has been fitted, and is fabulous. The company that fitted it have been brilliant and been remote dialling in to tweak settings as we get used to it. Including personalising the key pads with our nicknames smile

Naff AF, I know laugh but it makes me smile whenever I see them.

Also, we are mostly through getting the porch built, awaiting the roofer to come on Wednesday and tile it, and I will post some pics smile

We also have found the people who will be building our balcony, and I have had the opportunity to have a tour round their workshop.. incredible place!



They are now in the process of drawing up the plans, ready for our sign off in the new year and to be built early spring ahead of the patio being installed…..

All that aside, we have plans for the next few weeks which are gonna need all of our attention!

We are hosting the outlaws (12) on Christmas Eve, and then my family (13) are travelling up from the shires and France on Boxing Day and we are hosting them also.



We are both looking forward to the opportunity to fill the house with family and friends. Houses always feel like a home once you have had the time to fill them with memories of the people you love and care for, and get stfaced with smile

To that end, we have a fridge full of food, we are doing multiple booze runs and I’ve just ordered a new set of Beer Pong…

That kitchen table ain’t gonna christen itself smile



Cheers all thumbup

fttm

3,699 posts

136 months

Sunday 17th December 2023
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Brilliant as per usual CTO , great update and I am certain you'll enjoy breaking the house into a home , no pun . Looks fantastic fella , kudos .

beambeam1

1,050 posts

44 months

Sunday 17th December 2023
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CTO said:
We are both looking forward to the opportunity to fill the house with family and friends. Houses always feel like a home once you have had the time to fill them with memories of the people you love and care for, and get stfaced with smile
Lovely. At the end of the day, that's all that really matters when you have that random moment and question whether all the effort, finance and all, was worth it. Another great update, I can't be the only one that genuinely looks forward to seeing your username updating this thread when it reach the top of the forum pages.

steveamv8

197 posts

77 months

Sunday 17th December 2023
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Well Done mate
Well deserved .Here's hoping you both have a happy Xmas and the health to enjoy the new house in the future years to come

thepritch

594 posts

166 months

Sunday 17th December 2023
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It’s definitely not too early to wish you a very happy Christmas and new year! Hope you have a blast and look forward to your fantastic posts - they make me laugh - your picture of the impromptu gardening where the Chorus used to be had me in stitches! smile

Happy Christmas!