Dog People....
Discussion
hadenough! said:
Bet there's a similar thread on a dog website started by your friends. Complaining about how you wouldn't let your precious little cherub near their dog, or let your baby crawl on the nasty hard floor?
For the record I have a daft Staffordshire bull terrier, a 9 month old son and no carpets...
Well, i guess the cheap shot had to come eventually. For the record the owners in question wouldn't want the dog near the child either as it has not yet been socialised with children, it's an English bull terrier with a particularly hyper temperament. That wasn't really the point of my OP though was it...For the record I have a daft Staffordshire bull terrier, a 9 month old son and no carpets...
Indeed BexVN. And to their credit they know this...
I've been dragged away from my original point however which was simply that a pet should not dominate how four adults spend their social time together, children or not.
Some grasped this easily whilst others seem to have taken it as an afront to their dog ownership.
When we go to the in-laws we are literally surrounded by animals (2 retrievers, 1 jack russell, 1 german shepard, 1 collie, 3 cats and 19 horses), we are not anti-dog by any stretch, in fact the OH is certifiably dog mad, but even she tires of the fawning over this animal and the way it interferes with any social plans we might have together.
I've been dragged away from my original point however which was simply that a pet should not dominate how four adults spend their social time together, children or not.
Some grasped this easily whilst others seem to have taken it as an afront to their dog ownership.
When we go to the in-laws we are literally surrounded by animals (2 retrievers, 1 jack russell, 1 german shepard, 1 collie, 3 cats and 19 horses), we are not anti-dog by any stretch, in fact the OH is certifiably dog mad, but even she tires of the fawning over this animal and the way it interferes with any social plans we might have together.
Edited by DoubleSix on Monday 11th November 21:11
Well surely it's about striking a balance. One can be a responsible dog owner and balance this with life's other demands or one can be totally led by the animal and strike this balance very poorly.
A number of dog owners have recognised that they would not do what my friends did and that has satisfied my aim of getting it off my chest after a frustrating weekend away, of course there will always be those who chose not to see reason for the sake of argument.
A number of dog owners have recognised that they would not do what my friends did and that has satisfied my aim of getting it off my chest after a frustrating weekend away, of course there will always be those who chose not to see reason for the sake of argument.
porridge said:
Out of interest, how is this going to affect your friendship with these people going forward? will you raise it at some time (hopefully not when drunk and unintentionally slips out) or never mention it? do you think they were aware of your frustrations? What will happen when they come for a weekend to your with the dog?
Well I guess that's why its actually bothered me tbh. He's one of my oldest mates and the dog is very much his wifes pet... If i didnt care about him as a mate i'd probably put it down to experience and move on. As it is, im presented with a difficult situation, tell him his wifes being a t
t or suck it up... (Shes also got him on such a tight leash it's embarrassing: listening to grown man ask permission to go to the pub for few beers etc etc).Edited by DoubleSix on Monday 11th November 22:12
Well sorry kVA but there is very frustrating element on all internet forums who seem to want to talk anything but the salient points. They'll nit pick and challege on the most minor distractions and it's very counter-productive to a sensible discussion or conclusion. Above you can see a poster who is determined to focus on whether or not a child is fine on a hard floor. In your case you are convinced I'm being rude to my friends and would rather discuss that.... these are distractions and the subject for another thread imo.
The central tenet of the OP was that SOME (I was careful to make that clear) people allow dogs to dominate there decisions and strike a poor balance between being a responsible caring owner and being a good host. It's not complicated. I do tire of argumentative of provocative posters quickly and I make no apologies for that I'm afraid.
The central tenet of the OP was that SOME (I was careful to make that clear) people allow dogs to dominate there decisions and strike a poor balance between being a responsible caring owner and being a good host. It's not complicated. I do tire of argumentative of provocative posters quickly and I make no apologies for that I'm afraid.
ali_kat said:
But you seem to object to your child being on a hard floor; that was one of your complaints! So it was one of the points picked up.
She's 8m & so starting to crawling I presume? God help you once she starts to toddle; as you will NOT be able to 'mollycoddle' her away from hard surfaces then... As once they can walk they scream blue murder when not allowed to (if that is what they want to do) - you do realise the outside world isn't carpeted?
yes, I am being deliberately antagonistic there in my use of mollycoddle - to try & shock you into reading what you said the way it comes across - you mollycoddle your daughter as much as your friends wife does her dog
Next time, try Mumsnet if you want this type of thread to not go this way
Oh you are a wind up! She's 8m & so starting to crawling I presume? God help you once she starts to toddle; as you will NOT be able to 'mollycoddle' her away from hard surfaces then... As once they can walk they scream blue murder when not allowed to (if that is what they want to do) - you do realise the outside world isn't carpeted?
yes, I am being deliberately antagonistic there in my use of mollycoddle - to try & shock you into reading what you said the way it comes across - you mollycoddle your daughter as much as your friends wife does her dog
Next time, try Mumsnet if you want this type of thread to not go this way
It was just one example of how I felt the dog was being put before the guests. Probably the least annoying of all the issues I mentioned as it happens.
For the record, she's way ahead of the curve on the walking thing, has been cruising since 5 months and is now nearly walking unaided at 9 months - this is VERY early and the downside is she's falling flat on her face whilst other kids are just learning to roll or pull up.
But once more we digress...
Maybe some of the posters here recognise there own doggy-centric lifestyle in my OP and hence resent my observation. I suspect some of you are exactly like my friends and will cheerily pronounce "he's just being friendly!" whilst your beloved s
t sniffer buries it's face in a strangers crotch. Had my partner and i not taken our child with us I would still have resented the fact the animal effectively dictated what we chose to do that weekend and on many previous occasions to boot!
Get it?
Captain Cadillac said:
If he's one of your best mates I'd be much more worried that he's raising a dog to be a dominant and therefore problematic dog.
Indeed CC. This is my partners concern too... But sadly your very good point will be overlooked as there are internet points to be scored!Jasandjules said:
DoubleSix said:
Well I couldn't disagree more I'm afraid.
When I have guests I want them to feel at home, as if they aren't actually 'guests' as such i.e. nothing is too much trouble and their enjoyment is my priority. It's tiring, but I pride myself on being a good host.
So if your doggy friends visit you will put the smelly, noisy child outside so their dog can enjoy the house with them?When I have guests I want them to feel at home, as if they aren't actually 'guests' as such i.e. nothing is too much trouble and their enjoyment is my priority. It's tiring, but I pride myself on being a good host.
Just checking.
I must say I love the way batty dog owners equate dogs to humans and do so without a flicker of their preposterousness. It's like they are anosognosic or something...
kVA said:
It is your opinion that dog owners are 'batty' and it is your opinion that some of their behaviour is 'preposterous'...
I didn't say dog owners where batty though did I?I said "batty dog owners".
The original OP and my comments hence worth relate only to a certain type of dog owner, and I think we all know the sort....
I questioned previously whether or not you were actually reading the thread and I still question that fact as you seem incapable of keeping up with the discussion.
Do you remember me saying this?:
"When we go to the in-laws we are literally surrounded by animals (2 retrievers, 1 jack russell, 1 german shepard, 1 collie, 3 cats and 19 horses), we are not anti-dog by any stretch, in fact the OH is certifiably dog mad, but even she tires of the fawning over this animal and the way it interferes with any social plans we might have together. "
You see some people treat their animals as animals and others treat them as people - I think I can guess which type you are...
Edit: also where has this 'best mate' stuff come from, are you twelve?
Edited by DoubleSix on Tuesday 12th November 22:49
RB Will - thanks for sharing your views (sans vitriol).
I can't disagree with the need for a bit of give and take and now I've 'cooled' a bit it's easier to be amenable. However, there's simply no point in going out as a group if your going to trot off on your own and meet back at the cafe is there, I mean we're talking a 2 hour walk not a 5 min nose... I just know it'll be me that has to compromise in those circumstances as doggy comes first.
I kinda wish I hadn't mention the kiddo now as it really wasn't the main thrust of my point and it's obviously given people something to latch on to, my point was a broader one (that dog ownership is a pain in the arse for all involved).
For the record dogs and children are not equally comparable. I know some dog owners relish the chance to draw comparisons but it is a distinctly odd thing to do imho. Bit like when people say they like cars instead of kids. There is no relation between the two. It sounds a bit errrrm... barmy. Your example of asking people to shut children in the conservatory holds no water to my mind for the reason I just mention. It really shouldn't need explaining, but people who draw these comparisons sound a little alarm bell in my head; is this person of sound mind? (no offense intended there, just an expression). Perhaps a more erudite poster would put it better - procreation is probably the most base instinct we have. Saying you detest/dislike/can't stand children could potential mark one out as being somewhat unusual.
A hotel is an option but again defeats the purpose of spending time with friends to some extent, still it's something I may consider.
I can't disagree with the need for a bit of give and take and now I've 'cooled' a bit it's easier to be amenable. However, there's simply no point in going out as a group if your going to trot off on your own and meet back at the cafe is there, I mean we're talking a 2 hour walk not a 5 min nose... I just know it'll be me that has to compromise in those circumstances as doggy comes first.
I kinda wish I hadn't mention the kiddo now as it really wasn't the main thrust of my point and it's obviously given people something to latch on to, my point was a broader one (that dog ownership is a pain in the arse for all involved).
For the record dogs and children are not equally comparable. I know some dog owners relish the chance to draw comparisons but it is a distinctly odd thing to do imho. Bit like when people say they like cars instead of kids. There is no relation between the two. It sounds a bit errrrm... barmy. Your example of asking people to shut children in the conservatory holds no water to my mind for the reason I just mention. It really shouldn't need explaining, but people who draw these comparisons sound a little alarm bell in my head; is this person of sound mind? (no offense intended there, just an expression). Perhaps a more erudite poster would put it better - procreation is probably the most base instinct we have. Saying you detest/dislike/can't stand children could potential mark one out as being somewhat unusual.
A hotel is an option but again defeats the purpose of spending time with friends to some extent, still it's something I may consider.
I hear what you are saying Steve but the thread wasn't about 'child vs dog' it was more about those owners that elevate their dogs status within the family to the extent that I find bonkers.
It wasn't just about my kid. The dog affects where we eat, whether we can eat inside or out, where we can go on a day trip, whether I can eat in peace or constantly have to shoo the creature away. Treating dogs as people = annoying.
In contrast I spent Christmas at the inlaws farm where dogs are treated as dogs, no complaints here.
It wasn't just about my kid. The dog affects where we eat, whether we can eat inside or out, where we can go on a day trip, whether I can eat in peace or constantly have to shoo the creature away. Treating dogs as people = annoying.
In contrast I spent Christmas at the inlaws farm where dogs are treated as dogs, no complaints here.
Steve H said:
Child v dog was a natural comparison to come up even if you hadn't mentioned your offspring, non-parents don't generally see the point in turning the world upside down for kids in the same way that non-dog people don't get it with dogs.
It pains me a little as you sound like a very 'normal' dog owner, but I couldn't disagree more. It's not normal to compare a dog to child. It is normal to compare a hamster to gerbil, a snake to lizard, a dog to a cat. It is very strange imho to compare an animal to a human except in the most superficial of ways. Steve H said:
Most dog owners consider their pet to be part of the family, whether that's right or wrong really just depends on the way it's all done. Sounds like your in-laws have a pretty rural setup with lots of animals, you can't really compare that with one pet living in a typical domestic home.
I guess this is why I don't have a dog even though I'd quite like one. I just don't think they belong in the city. It doesn't really work, for all the reasons I've discussed in the thread.imho = in my honest opinion
I guess to some dog owners a dog is => a child
I guess to some parents a child is => a dog
I would suggest the less biased sample would be from those who own dogs AND have children and I don't know many mentallly balanced members of that demographic that consider their dogs => their children.
Although there is a women near where I grew up that pushes a pram around with a dog dressed in a bonnet.
I guess to some dog owners a dog is => a child
I guess to some parents a child is => a dog
I would suggest the less biased sample would be from those who own dogs AND have children and I don't know many mentallly balanced members of that demographic that consider their dogs => their children.
Although there is a women near where I grew up that pushes a pram around with a dog dressed in a bonnet.
Hooli said:
I grew up with my dogs sleeping on my bed, I can't see the problem with it tbh. Our Staffy doesn't sleep with us but that's because she's Mrs Hooli's dog & wasn't bought up that way.
You wouldn't, you grew up with it. If you grew up in India you'd be happy wiping your arse with your left hand.
Gassing Station | All Creatures Great & Small | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff