Losing a pet

[bexVN]

It's tough, I won't deny. The day after we said goodbye to Jimmy in our beautiful garden at the vets I work, I had to go to work. I burst into tears sobbed my heart out on my Head Nurses shoulders and somehow got through the day. I cried daily for at least 2 weeks after. Then one day I didn't (and felt guilty for that!)

Our first holiday had been.booked months before (before he got ill) so he was meant to be there. We missed him terribly but it also made us realise we could not go dog free on holiday again so a week later we got Bryn. No way we're we ready before then (everyone is different on that score)

I know the feelings you are suffering right now, awful as they are it shows how much you cared for the little chap, it also means in time you will be able to provide another four legged friend a great and loving home. I now couldn't"the imagine not having Bryn in our lives but I will never ever forget our dear Jimbo (as my Dad used to call him ).

[keslake]

These threads get me everytime:-(

I know what lurks on the pages and how upsetting each one is but still i read them all and then this supposed
tough builder sits here blubbing!

Barry...my thoughts are with you and one piece of advise i would like to offer is NEVER feel ashamed of grieving, no matter where you are or whose company you are in, your wee fella was special, as all our pets are.

Until anyone has owned a Dog, they have no idea just how strong that bond is and tbh i do not think there is any stronger bond in life.

[Craphouserat]

keslake said:

These threads get me everytime:-(

I know what lurks on the pages and how upsetting each one is but still i read them all and then this supposed
tough builder sits here blubbing!

Barry...my thoughts are with you and one piece of advise i would like to offer is NEVER feel ashamed of grieving, no matter where you are or whose company you are in, your wee fella was special, as all our pets are.

Until anyone has owned a Dog, they have no idea just how strong that bond is and tbh i do not think there is any stronger bond in life.

Thanks for that.

Before I met my wife I'd always had Golden Retrievers...what I thought a real dog was. Doesn't matter the size or breed of the dog - they look at you like no human ever could. They give you everything unconditionally and would die for you.

Ozz may have been small - but he thought he was a rottweiller - never scared to challenge any bigger dog he thought was up to something. He was funny and loving...as they are.

Like you Kes many wouldn't imagine me sitting at a pc bubbling away to myself. But over 24hrs later I can't seem to stop. Luckily not back to work until Thursday. Should be better by then.

Right now I keep thinking of him alone in the Vets clinic and that cuts me up....he hated being alone. Maybe we should have brought him home and buried him in the garden? Main reason I didn't want that is we want to move in 18-24months and I didn't want him left there....I know he's not there anymore..its just in my head. We're getting him cremated and I hope I'll feel better when I get him home.

Really I just want to think of him without filling up....he brought so much into my life.

It does help to read peoples own experiences - the good side of this website.

Cheers

Barry+Catherine

[Jasandjules]

Craphouserat said:

Really I just want to think of him without filling up....he brought so much into my life.

That is fair enough. It took me a good week to even be able to talk about the loss of my dog.

Three things however to bear in mind.

1. You were there for him when it really mattered. He knows that.
2. Letting them go to ensure no suffering is the most important (and difficult) part of having pets.
3. He lives on in your heart and his soul is with you.

[Turn7]

Cant say whats not been said already.

Beem there before, and have a 14yo so will be there again all too soon....

No words can ease the pain or loss, but just try to remember the times they make you smile......

Sorry for your loss, he was indeed, a very handsome chap.

[riosyd]

Some might think this a bit odd but it's what we wanted - Dino was cremated and his ashes are contained in a pod behind a photo frame (attached by magnets). Similar to this http://petributes.co.uk/featured/tribute-frame-pod...

[pete a]

So sorry to hear this, what a terrible shock and loss of your frend, I can't believe that work wouldn't give you time off.
I echo the thoughts of others that unless you have experienced that bond with a dog then you can't understand.

I'm 6ft 2, 15st solid muscle and former national boxing champion and unlicensed fighter and when my little cocker spaniel dies I will no doubt cry like a baby, I was choked enough reading about your little Ozz.

I hope you gain some strentgh from this thread and that you feel better soon.

[anonymous-user]

So sorry to hear this OP

My 16 and a half year old Weatie, Jaz, was diagnosed with lymphoma last week. She's fine right now but obviously on borrowed time so I will be walking in your shoes at some stage.

[ribenavrs]

Feel your pain Barry

Lost our terrier after 17yrs in Feb, didnt feel too bad as he had great life with lots of love

To remember him we bought a tree and nice pot, planted it up with his ashes and hung his dog tag in the branches

Within 2 months we both decided a Cockapoo would fill the huge gap that was left and 2 months after that have another one as well !!

It gets easier mate

[Craphouserat]

Jeebus - I think I'm doing well then I read more kind words for you lot !!

Thanks you all soo much - Catherine thinks typing things out about might make me worse but you guys are making me feel better.

Catherine is at work now and I'm on rest days - so this is the first day I've spent on my own since he died on Saturday. Normally when I'm on rest days and Cath leaves for the day Ozz would wake me by jumping on the bed for a few more hours of kip until the postman arrived when all hell would break loose and I'd then get up for the day !!

Today so far has been all too quiet - I've collected the post...cried like a baby simply because it was unchewed and didn't have to be wrestled out of the wee mans gob.

I have however managed to collect a lot of his things together, bed,towels and toys and put them in the loft. There's maybe the odd toy in the garden or under the bed still left...but thats about it. Just 15 minutes ago I decided to put my slippers on...an old pair from last year..had been put away for the summer. In one of them was an old chewed plastic ttoy, the ones you give them to help clean their teeth. I know it must have been missed when they were stored away..i do know this...but you wonder if hes sendoing a message to try make you laugh..which I did for a second befor e bloody crying...again !!!!!!!!!!

Please excuse the spelling etc...had a few tears typing. Thanks also for the hints about what to do with his ashes...very helpful so thanjks for those. I had thought of scattering on his fav walkway in some fields but I think I want him close by.

You've all been very kind - both myself and Catherine have read everything and we've really appreciated it.

THanks x

[Craphouserat]

riosyd said:

Some might think this a bit odd but it's what we wanted - Dino was cremated and his ashes are contained in a pod behind a photo frame (attached by magnets). Similar to this http://petributes.co.uk/featured/tribute-frame-pod...

I don't think thats odd at all...I will mention this to Catherine later...thanks for the idea.

[bexVN]

I had Jimmy back (individually cremated) I bought a special urn that looks like a sculptured dog to keep him in. I did not want everyone to know I had necessarily kept his ashes (not everyone understands) this way he is with us but his urn looks like an ornament to those who don't know.

You'll know instinctively what you will want for him.

[Morningside]

You talk about things being left behind. Milly used to moult all the time and there would be fur everywhere and I mean everywhere. You could spend all day brushing her and there would be an endless supply. You could hoover all day everyday and there would be more. She also had that type of fur that would somehow embed itself into anything.

Yet I miss it. I miss making breakfast and finding a hair. I miss hoovering and finding the odd tumbleweed fur ball hiding up. I miss defurring the car. I miss looking at my trousers and finding an offending hair.

BUT ever now and again I find one, just one hair and it makes me think she is still about.

[Dolf Stoppard]

It was a year ago on Saturday that we had to say goodbye to our fifteen year old Parsons Terrier. I have no problem in saying that I've never been so upset and cried more than at any other time in my life. The fact that it's so hard when we do have to say goodbye is just a reflection of how special these little friends can be. All I can say is that I'm really sorry for your loss and that it will get easier. It will take a while, but the time will come when you can look back and think of Ozz with happiness, rather the feelings of loss you've understandably now got.

[Craphouserat]

We think we may put his ashes in something small - I'm pretty much leaving it to Catherine - Ozz and her came as a package when I met her. Had a few people calling today to pass on condololencies etc meaning all of us have had a few tears again.


As alaways you have all been very kind with your words and sharing your experiences.

[DKL]

Sorry to hear the news. Its a dreadful place to be, like others I've been there too.
If you are anywhere down south take a trip to Dansel in Abbotsbury and find a little box to keep him in. That's what we did.

[Craphouserat]

Guys I promise to let this thread go very soo...I know it probably isn't doing me any good and you'll all be getting bored of it...at the end of the end I've just got to get on with it.

But Can I ask if the guilt every leaves? DO you just learn to live with it?

On rest days till I start my shifts again on Thursday - trying to keep busy - just done the housework which was very hard as OZz had a love hate relationship with the Vax and just hoovering had me choked up. Then washing the last of his paw marks from the flooring was another tear fest.

At the minute guilt id my overiding feeling...waht if we'd went down the route of trying him on a drip etc etc. I wish I could stop seeing him everywhere in this house.

Roll on Thursday - can't wait to start telling COps where to go again !!!!

[anonymous-user]

All you can do is temper the feelings of guilt (which are totally natural and understandable) with the knowledge that your love for your dog was the reason for the decision you had to make.

I would also say don't fight the feelings - they are part and parcel of your grieving.

[riosyd]

I don't think that guilty is the correct word to use, I struggled for a long time with - "what if I'd taken him to the vet sooner", "what if there had been different medication", all sorts of things like that going through my head. It's maybe part of the grieving process to think like that. I know that I did my very best for Dino throughout his life and was there for him at the end, still miss him

In my experience it does get easier as time goes by, lots of funny memories that crop up randomly which now make me smile (which a few months ago would have had me in tears).

[Craphouserat]

Thanks - I am sorry to bang on. These rest days just came at the wrong time I think - sitting alone is not so good for you at times like this.

I think I may be struggling a bit because I have a very small family - fell out with one set of grandparents before they died so did not give a toss when they died (please try not to judge that - long story) and I've not experienced much grief. My my other grandmother died I didn't really cry - I remember feeling a bit sad...but felt for my father mainly.

I married my wife who has a large family but virtually everyone is still going strong ( long may it reamin this way)..so what I'm trying to say is I have very little experience of grief.

Again - thanks for your thoughts/advice.

Barry