Losing a pet

[ribenavrs]

Having read back thru your posts it seems you made the only decision available based on the information in front of you at the time

Don't feel bad or guilty about that especially given the job you do!!

You are dealing with it in your own way, which is all you can do. I would imagine you are more in control than 2 days ago and this will carry on until you just remember all the good times you had with affection??

[Craphouserat]

Thanks riben.

I guess I am slightly better than a couple of days ago but I think I need to get back to work - getting 999's from desperate people will truly take my mind off things. I need to get back into the Control Room.

I can't believe how this affected me...I honestly thought Catherine would be more like this. She's still upset but can smile more than me...that's always been the case though !!

Cheers.

[bexVN]

Yes they do ease off. I had guilt because I wondered if I should've had more tests done at a referral vets but my heart of hearts really knew that was clutching at straws, my vet whom I trust didn't think it was right and I did have a diagnosis of sorts.

There is always the what if question that we punish ourselves with but I don't believe for a minute that your vet would've agreed with your decision had they thought he'd be ok, they must've thought he was seriously ill.

Edited by bexVN on Tuesday 23 September 12:48

[ribenavrs]

[Craphouserat]

bexVN said:

Yes they do ease off. I had guilt because I wondered if I should've had more tests done at a referral vets but my heart of hearts really knew that was clutching at straws, my vet whom I trust didn't think it was right and I did have a diagnosis of sorts.

There is always the what if question that we punish ourselves with but I don't believe for a minute that your vet would've agreed with your decision had they thought he'd be ok, they must've thought he was seriously ill.

Edited by bexVN on Tuesday 23 September 12:48

Yeah - she put her head in her hands when we told her what had happened when he became very ill. The guilt is obviously for having him put to sleep...but also i got in from my nightshift at 7am and walked him. The weather was crap and I was tired...I didn't appreciate the walk and just wanted my bed. I wish I had taken my time with him..then when I got home I went to bed...he then became ill. It was his last walk - I didn't appreciate him enough.

I trust my vet - he'd had problems for the past year - meds had stabilised him for the last 12 months but he was vommiting l=blood on his last day with us. Our vet said we'd done all we could and said others would have thrown the towel in before now.

Getting him home will hopefully make things better also.


Thanks for your words bex.

[Rich1973]

Accept your feelings. No point in fighting them, and it has only been a few days after all.
I lost my beautiful cat at only 7 and a half years to kidney failure. I held her while she was put to sleep.
I can honestly say I have never been so ripped to pieces as I was through losing her.
The old adage about time being a healer is true.

[keslake]

Craphouserat said:

Thanks - I am sorry to bang on. These rest days just came at the wrong time I think - sitting alone is not so good for you at times like this.

I think I may be struggling a bit because I have a very small family - fell out with one set of grandparents before they died so did not give a toss when they died (please try not to judge that - long story) and I've not experienced much grief. My my other grandmother died I didn't really cry - I remember feeling a bit sad...but felt for my father mainly.

I married my wife who has a large family but virtually everyone is still going strong ( long may it reamin this way)..so what I'm trying to say is I have very little experience of grief.

Again - thanks for your thoughts/advice.

Barry

Barry,

Don't you dare apologise for banging on!...that's what this forum is for and what makes this such a fantastic community. End of the day, we are all here for each other, Especially pet owners, so carry on adding to this thread whenever you feel the need mate.

I honestly don't know how i will cope when my boys time comes, i really don't.

Unlike yourself, i have had a whole load of grief on my life, lost my father at the age of 46 to cancer and he died in my arms at home weighing no more than 6 stone...2 days after my 19th birthday.

Then 6 years ago this last May my mother went down hill rapidly and i spent 3 days holding her hand in intensive care until she passed away...i had to deal with all of that on my own, including the funeral, probate etc and i honestly have no idea how i got through it.
Losing my Mum taught me how to let my feelings out, until that day i was the typical stiff upper lip guy, too ashamed to let anyone see me cry....not anymore.

I bought my boy 10 days after losing my Mum and he got me through it, hand on heart if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be here now, i owe my life to him.

Hopefully he will be around for me for a few years yet but when that day comes i will be seeking comfort on here as you are now so please rest assured, your postings are welcome as often as you feel necessary.

[anonymous-user]

Well said keslake - and spot on!

[Craphouserat]

keslake said:

Barry,

Don't you dare apologise for banging on!...that's what this forum is for and what makes this such a fantastic community. End of the day, we are all here for each other, Especially pet owners, so carry on adding to this thread whenever you feel the need mate.

I honestly don't know how i will cope when my boys time comes, i really don't.

Unlike yourself, i have had a whole load of grief on my life, lost my father at the age of 46 to cancer and he died in my arms at home weighing no more than 6 stone...2 days after my 19th birthday.

Then 6 years ago this last May my mother went down hill rapidly and i spent 3 days holding her hand in intensive care until she passed away...i had to deal with all of that on my own, including the funeral, probate etc and i honestly have no idea how i got through it.
Losing my Mum taught me how to let my feelings out, until that day i was the typical stiff upper lip guy, too ashamed to let anyone see me cry....not anymore.

I bought my boy 10 days after losing my Mum and he got me through it, hand on heart if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be here now, i owe my life to him.

Hopefully he will be around for me for a few years yet but when that day comes i will be seeking comfort on here as you are now so please rest assured, your postings are welcome as often as you feel necessary.

Thank you Kes.....thank you all very much.

Can't beleieve I've been a ph member so long and never used this section...easily the best-most helpful.

It means a lot to me...so thanks.

[anonymous-user]

We're the non-judgemental, non-aggressive, mutually supportive arm of PH

[mrmaggit]

Just don't tell the rest

Us animal lovers get enough grief from the trolls without letting them know where we are.

[Craphouserat]

mrmaggit said:

Just don't tell the rest

Us animal lovers get enough grief from the trolls without letting them know where we are.

Hopefully in the future i can repay some of the kindness shown to me and maybe I can help someone here in the future - I will be a regular visitor.

This morning I left the house and drove to my dad's. Gave him some pics of Ozz and then we went for a long walk with his two gorgeous Golden Retriever bhes. We spoke a lot about Ozz and what I may get in the future.

There were no tears...I was close but managed to spend the morning in the company of other dogs and speak about my wee terrier.

Even at nearly 40 you sometimes need your parents !!

[anonymous-user]

Craphouserat said:

Hopefully in the future i can repay some of the kindness shown to me and maybe I can help someone here in the future - I will be a regular visitor.

This morning I left the house and drove to my dad's. Gave him some pics of Ozz and then we went for a long walk with his two gorgeous Golden Retriever bhes. We spoke a lot about Ozz and what I may get in the future.

There were no tears...I was close but managed to spend the morning in the company of other dogs and speak about my wee terrier.

Even at nearly 40 you sometimes need your parents !!

I still need mine at 51

[bexVN]

garyhun said:

Craphouserat said:

Hopefully in the future i can repay some of the kindness shown to me and maybe I can help someone here in the future - I will be a regular visitor.

This morning I left the house and drove to my dad's. Gave him some pics of Ozz and then we went for a long walk with his two gorgeous Golden Retriever bhes. We spoke a lot about Ozz and what I may get in the future.

There were no tears...I was close but managed to spend the morning in the company of other dogs and speak about my wee terrier.

Even at nearly 40 you sometimes need your parents !!

I still need mine at 51

Yep, my parents were the first people I phoned after. I'm 40 and the first thing I needed to do was talk to my Dad

[Hilts]

It's just tough losing a pet. I thought I'd feel much worse when I put my 19 year old cat to sleep but it wasn't as bad as I thought. Maybe because he was suffering a bit and much of the 'life' had gone from him. You can't have the good times without the bad. RIP

[Craphouserat]

First day back at work since....no probs. Until the return home...jeez not having a hero's welcome just because you've been at work was hard to take.

Time to man up.....maybe once his ashes are home.

[Jasandjules]

Don't worry about this man-up s**t. It just takes a bit of time to get used to it.

[The_Burg]

Horrible decision. Had a few over the years. Our eldest grey really struggles some days others loves her life. Such a hard decision. At least our pets get the choice. Far worse our relatives where they get to the edge.


Currently legs are f@cked. Staggers about but so happy and bounces about when we get home. Looking at me know with her big brown eyes. Posted on here a few months back, but still she carries on. While she seems to love life we will carry on. The final decision is so hard.

[Craphouserat]

The_Burg said:

Horrible decision. Had a few over the years. Our eldest grey really struggles some days others loves her life. Such a hard decision. At least our pets get the choice. Far worse our relatives where they get to the edge.


Currently legs are f@cked. Staggers about but so happy and bounces about when we get home. Looking at me know with her big brown eyes. Posted on here a few months back, but still she carries on. While she seems to love life we will carry on. The final decision is so hard.

It is. I've been back at work at few days now, forgot about him for a bit..because work is work and you have to get on....but my god the return home is hard. Tonight we'd been to shops before our return...when I put the bags down in the hall I seen him darting from one bag to the other to check what we had for him.

Ordered an Indian meal tonight trying to get on as normal...when the delivery came we still shut the lounge door to stop him attacking the poor delivery guy....even though there is no more barking.

The tears are drying up...until my wife asks what I think of the pictures of Ozz she has just ordered. Currently waiting to get his ashes back.

On a more positive and happy note we've agreed we will get another dog in the new year. We're seriously interested in a Lab...but that is for next year. We await a call from the vet to say he is ready to come home.

[Craphouserat]

We're getting to pick up his ashes and bring the wee man home today - hopefully this will help things a bit. I'm sure there will be more tears later on !

Managing to look at pictures and smile more though rather than just wanting to blubber !!