Wife wants a dog - I'm not sure
Discussion
After a bit of advice or some thoughts on this.
My wife thinks we should get a dog. I'm not sure it is a good idea. It isn't that I don't want a dog, it is just that I don't think it is terribly practical for a number of reasons (see below).
Whenever she mentions it I reel these reasons off and then she shows me something on the Lost Dogs Home website or similar and I go all gooey and almost give in.
1) Lifestyle.
We both work full time. I'm away by 7:30 in the morning, she leaves later, about 8:15. She is home anywhere between 4ish and 5ish (she is a teacher). She could come home at lunchtime for 30 mins or so some days. I get in around 6, dinner about 6:30, son's bedtime 7:30. Weekends would be dog friendly, as would school holidays. I could walk it in the morning during the week if I got up at half 5 (yay) and in the evening if I miss all the "getting ready for bed" stuff.
2) Family
Our son (5) is scared/not sure of dogs - not badly, he'll settle after a while (within 24 hrs of meeting my parent's Foxy they were best friends - our friend's Great Dane is a slightly different matter however, understandably so)). Wife thinks getting a dog would be good for him. She is probably right, but I have no idea how we'd go at a meet and greet type thing at a rescue centre for example. I suspect he'd go all silly and we'd be told we aren't getting a dog. A puppy would be better so he can see it grow up - but working full time and having a puppy isn't ideal.
3) Type/size of dog
I grew up with a Black Lab, followed by a Golden Retriever - I want one of them, but am aware a bored Black Lab could be destructive (ours was fine but it was at home all day with my mum and 3 kids; parent's friends had one that ate through a door). Not sure about Golden Retrievers - ours was 3 when we got it and it thought it was human. Wife wants a smaller dog, which is probably a better idea. Pedigree's what dog tool suggests: Golden Retriever (yay), Labrador (yay), Deerhound (WTF?), Cairn Terrier, Westie, Australian Terrier, Border Terrier and various things I've never really heard of/that look a bit silly.
4) When to get it
Wife gets 6 weeks Christmas holidays (summer here) so we could get a dog at the start and then it would have 6 weeks full time care. Would obviously need to get it used to being on its own over the last couple of weeks. Any thoughts on this? Is that enough time for a dog to settle in and not think it was being abandoned the first time it was left alone all day? What about a puppy? Assuming it was 8 weeks when we got it, could it be left alone at 14 weeks?
5) The house/garden
Space isn't an issue. My plan would be to put a doggy door in the back (laundry) door (we can isolate it from the rest of the house) and the dog could then have the whole back garden (1/4 acre) to explore plus the laundry to hide in when it rains. The houses on all 3 sides have dogs, so the fences are dog proof (or appear to be anyway). We also have a big, covered deck it could have a bed/kennel on. At night it could sleep in the house.
6) General stuff
It would get walked, and played with, and cuddled etc etc.
Worth pointing out that Australians have a different attitude to dogs compared to the British. A lot of them are just left outside to fend for themselves all day. Coming from a home where the dog was a house dog that came as a bit of a shock to me. As a result the wife's attitude is a bit different to mine. She basically thinks "she'll be right".
So, any thoughts? I'm in two minds to be honest and I'm not sure typing this helped.
Maybe I should just get 2 and they can amuse themselves all day!
My wife thinks we should get a dog. I'm not sure it is a good idea. It isn't that I don't want a dog, it is just that I don't think it is terribly practical for a number of reasons (see below).
Whenever she mentions it I reel these reasons off and then she shows me something on the Lost Dogs Home website or similar and I go all gooey and almost give in.
1) Lifestyle.
We both work full time. I'm away by 7:30 in the morning, she leaves later, about 8:15. She is home anywhere between 4ish and 5ish (she is a teacher). She could come home at lunchtime for 30 mins or so some days. I get in around 6, dinner about 6:30, son's bedtime 7:30. Weekends would be dog friendly, as would school holidays. I could walk it in the morning during the week if I got up at half 5 (yay) and in the evening if I miss all the "getting ready for bed" stuff.
2) Family
Our son (5) is scared/not sure of dogs - not badly, he'll settle after a while (within 24 hrs of meeting my parent's Foxy they were best friends - our friend's Great Dane is a slightly different matter however, understandably so)). Wife thinks getting a dog would be good for him. She is probably right, but I have no idea how we'd go at a meet and greet type thing at a rescue centre for example. I suspect he'd go all silly and we'd be told we aren't getting a dog. A puppy would be better so he can see it grow up - but working full time and having a puppy isn't ideal.
3) Type/size of dog
I grew up with a Black Lab, followed by a Golden Retriever - I want one of them, but am aware a bored Black Lab could be destructive (ours was fine but it was at home all day with my mum and 3 kids; parent's friends had one that ate through a door). Not sure about Golden Retrievers - ours was 3 when we got it and it thought it was human. Wife wants a smaller dog, which is probably a better idea. Pedigree's what dog tool suggests: Golden Retriever (yay), Labrador (yay), Deerhound (WTF?), Cairn Terrier, Westie, Australian Terrier, Border Terrier and various things I've never really heard of/that look a bit silly.
4) When to get it
Wife gets 6 weeks Christmas holidays (summer here) so we could get a dog at the start and then it would have 6 weeks full time care. Would obviously need to get it used to being on its own over the last couple of weeks. Any thoughts on this? Is that enough time for a dog to settle in and not think it was being abandoned the first time it was left alone all day? What about a puppy? Assuming it was 8 weeks when we got it, could it be left alone at 14 weeks?
5) The house/garden
Space isn't an issue. My plan would be to put a doggy door in the back (laundry) door (we can isolate it from the rest of the house) and the dog could then have the whole back garden (1/4 acre) to explore plus the laundry to hide in when it rains. The houses on all 3 sides have dogs, so the fences are dog proof (or appear to be anyway). We also have a big, covered deck it could have a bed/kennel on. At night it could sleep in the house.
6) General stuff
It would get walked, and played with, and cuddled etc etc.
Worth pointing out that Australians have a different attitude to dogs compared to the British. A lot of them are just left outside to fend for themselves all day. Coming from a home where the dog was a house dog that came as a bit of a shock to me. As a result the wife's attitude is a bit different to mine. She basically thinks "she'll be right".
So, any thoughts? I'm in two minds to be honest and I'm not sure typing this helped.
Maybe I should just get 2 and they can amuse themselves all day!
I'm a bit old school with dogs, as mine is not my baby he's a my dog, but I also think the bottom line is they require a great deal of care and time, and sadly the reality is it's probably even more than you expect.
Incidentally any dog can destroy your house if it develops anxiety, or any of the host of other behavioral problems which can happen if you're away all day. They're social animals, not like cats. Small dogs are probably best if you can't commit time wise to walks. Which become a large part of your day for more active dogs but that won't affect behaviour, and most aren't as easily trained.
I think you need to be sure. Or get a cat.
Oh and I know a few New Zealanders who do similar, but the dog doesn't live on it's own outside.
Incidentally any dog can destroy your house if it develops anxiety, or any of the host of other behavioral problems which can happen if you're away all day. They're social animals, not like cats. Small dogs are probably best if you can't commit time wise to walks. Which become a large part of your day for more active dogs but that won't affect behaviour, and most aren't as easily trained.
I think you need to be sure. Or get a cat.
Oh and I know a few New Zealanders who do similar, but the dog doesn't live on it's own outside.
more info needed. Do you have a secure back garden? If so then like us you can have a par of smaller dogs and allow them to venture out to the garden then during the day and have a sectioned off area inside which they can use.
TBH you are asking for trouble keeping just 1 dog alone for so long. Not only is it unfair but the dog will pop and wee inside, chew things through bordom and most likely have mental issues where it gets too excited when people come in because its alone most of the time. You in turn will try to train it, try to tell it off for not doing as its told and tell it off for chewing, none of which will be very effective if at all and then you will get all stressed.
Not only do we have 2 dogs my missis also only works 4days a week and during the 4 working days we supply bones, treats etc as well as a large back yard to play in, both are fine with this. Your situation on the face of it is a non starter as dogs and all pets to be honest are hard work... think pop collection, cost, damage, holiday restrictions, vets needs, time for walks etc etc... they are not simple things to have about.
Id stick with your young kids as surely they absorb most of your spare time as it is...?
TBH you are asking for trouble keeping just 1 dog alone for so long. Not only is it unfair but the dog will pop and wee inside, chew things through bordom and most likely have mental issues where it gets too excited when people come in because its alone most of the time. You in turn will try to train it, try to tell it off for not doing as its told and tell it off for chewing, none of which will be very effective if at all and then you will get all stressed.
Not only do we have 2 dogs my missis also only works 4days a week and during the 4 working days we supply bones, treats etc as well as a large back yard to play in, both are fine with this. Your situation on the face of it is a non starter as dogs and all pets to be honest are hard work... think pop collection, cost, damage, holiday restrictions, vets needs, time for walks etc etc... they are not simple things to have about.
Id stick with your young kids as surely they absorb most of your spare time as it is...?
Our two rarely get left for more than 4hrs, they have been left for 5hrs a couple of times in 11yrs when circumstances dictated.
If we want to go out for the day we either take them with us or arrange for somebody to pop round & let them out/spend time with them.
I'm fortunate to work for myself & they come into the office with me everyday, wouldn't personally have dogs if they would be left alone all day.
If we want to go out for the day we either take them with us or arrange for somebody to pop round & let them out/spend time with them.
I'm fortunate to work for myself & they come into the office with me everyday, wouldn't personally have dogs if they would be left alone all day.
Jader1973 said:
1) Lifestyle.
We both work full time.
Then you shouldn't have a dog IMO. I sometimes look after my parents if i'm working from home and it's left in the garden and is fine for the majority of the day but she will bark at times and continue to bark as she wants to come in for some attention. Your neighbours are going to love you if this happens every day. Plus it's unfair on the dog, they crave attention, attention you can't give it as your both in work. We both work full time.
Seek said:
I know this is more of a first world problem but your pets have their own pop collection? 
Do your dogs prefer old-school Kylie Minogue or are they more into modern pop like Katie Perry?
How do they change disks? If they use their teeth they it's bound to result in scratches isn't it? I guess this is where MP3 comes in right? Or do you have a multi-disk player?
Is there any audio equipment you can recommend with large paw-format buttons?
Do their pet friends hang out around the house to listen to your pets' pop collection? Or is it more a private thing?
How do you deal with neighbor noise complaints if your pets play their music too loudly during daytime?
When you punish your dogs do you take away their stereo access for a few days?
Do they use headphones? Are there any particular brands that make dog-friendly headphones?
How do they sing along? Do they just howl (probably fits quite well with modern pop singers) or do they hum along to the beat?
Do they watch pop videos to re-enact dance moves or do they have their own doggy dance style?
The more I think about it the more questions arise...?
It's a niche market filled by a brand calledDo your dogs prefer old-school Kylie Minogue or are they more into modern pop like Katie Perry?
How do they change disks? If they use their teeth they it's bound to result in scratches isn't it? I guess this is where MP3 comes in right? Or do you have a multi-disk player?
Is there any audio equipment you can recommend with large paw-format buttons?
Do their pet friends hang out around the house to listen to your pets' pop collection? Or is it more a private thing?
How do you deal with neighbor noise complaints if your pets play their music too loudly during daytime?
When you punish your dogs do you take away their stereo access for a few days?
Do they use headphones? Are there any particular brands that make dog-friendly headphones?
How do they sing along? Do they just howl (probably fits quite well with modern pop singers) or do they hum along to the beat?
Do they watch pop videos to re-enact dance moves or do they have their own doggy dance style?
The more I think about it the more questions arise...?
Pawdio - we're the dogs ballcocks!
Mrs has a lab and although she tries to pop home on lunch he can be left anywhere between 8:30 and 4:30-5ish.
He isn't bothered he spends most of the day snoozing and barking at door to door salesmen. Infact during the Xmas period when everyone is home all the time (he gets weekend levels of walks for nearly a fortnight) you can tell he is glad you are back at work so he can rest and sleep!
He isn't bothered he spends most of the day snoozing and barking at door to door salesmen. Infact during the Xmas period when everyone is home all the time (he gets weekend levels of walks for nearly a fortnight) you can tell he is glad you are back at work so he can rest and sleep!
MacW said:
Aaahh.. one of these.
She wants a dog, you don't.
In the end the two of you will compromise and get a dog
Yeah - she rang a local breeder today. Really nice, wasn't bothered that we both work, but had no pups available and none planned for a while. She was told to ring the woman who runs the register to see if she knew of any - and got interogated on the size of the mesh on the fence, could it get stolen from the garden, "not getting one of mine if you both work" etc etc.She wants a dog, you don't.
In the end the two of you will compromise and get a dog
Now I have a grumpy wife
Back garden is roughly 1000 sqm, so loads of room and fence is secure (dogs on 3 sides).
We shall see how it goes.
Having got a puppy last march I'd say we massively underestimated the amount of work it'd be. Pissing and s
tting like a boss everywhere. It was hard work, not only the cleaning but the training him, toilet training, lead & recall training, no one enjoys owning a disobedient dog. Also, with regards to training, everyone needs to be singing from the same sheet, it's not good you doing proper training when walking/playing/feeding only for your mrs to let it do what it wants when you're not there.
It goes on too, 18 months old and Vinnie is still needing constant training all the time, he's getting there but he is a real live wire. Choose the breed carefully, dont just pick one that looks how you want it to look, traits and temperament need to be high on the list of choices.
With regards to being left on it's own, when we got Vinnie we knew he'd need to be able to be left alone for a few hours a day. The breeder said if he needs to be left alone just do it straight from a puppy, he'll soon get use to it, pampering him for a week or two when you first get him and then leaving him will make it harder for him to get use to. We done just that, I set my gopro up to record his goings on, the first couple of days he cried for a while each time he was left then by the end of the first week he was fine. I think we're very lucky to a degree though, he just sleeps most of the day when we are out. An average day he is alone for 5 hours or so 5 days a week, we have had times where I've been stuck at work once or twice in the past year where he has been alone for 8 hours! I got back feeling very guilty but he wasnt fussed in the slightest.
Maybe rehoming a dog would be a good idea? You can find out the temperament of the dog before committing and some of the basic training will have been done often, plus you're giving a homeless dog a nice home.
tting like a boss everywhere. It was hard work, not only the cleaning but the training him, toilet training, lead & recall training, no one enjoys owning a disobedient dog. Also, with regards to training, everyone needs to be singing from the same sheet, it's not good you doing proper training when walking/playing/feeding only for your mrs to let it do what it wants when you're not there. It goes on too, 18 months old and Vinnie is still needing constant training all the time, he's getting there but he is a real live wire. Choose the breed carefully, dont just pick one that looks how you want it to look, traits and temperament need to be high on the list of choices.
With regards to being left on it's own, when we got Vinnie we knew he'd need to be able to be left alone for a few hours a day. The breeder said if he needs to be left alone just do it straight from a puppy, he'll soon get use to it, pampering him for a week or two when you first get him and then leaving him will make it harder for him to get use to. We done just that, I set my gopro up to record his goings on, the first couple of days he cried for a while each time he was left then by the end of the first week he was fine. I think we're very lucky to a degree though, he just sleeps most of the day when we are out. An average day he is alone for 5 hours or so 5 days a week, we have had times where I've been stuck at work once or twice in the past year where he has been alone for 8 hours! I got back feeling very guilty but he wasnt fussed in the slightest.
Maybe rehoming a dog would be a good idea? You can find out the temperament of the dog before committing and some of the basic training will have been done often, plus you're giving a homeless dog a nice home.
If you're rehoming a older chilled out dog that currently gets left in a kennel all day, where would the dog be better off? In a cold kennel alone, or at someones home where it's loved and cared for as part of the family?
I'm not saying go and get a puppy then leave it alone for 10 hours a day but there are that many dogs in rehoming centres that most people could find a dog that would fit in with their life style and the dog would have a better life than in a home.
I'm not saying go and get a puppy then leave it alone for 10 hours a day but there are that many dogs in rehoming centres that most people could find a dog that would fit in with their life style and the dog would have a better life than in a home.
Dogs are more time consuming than people assume.
Weekends away and holidays are even more of an issue that leaving the dog over a working day.
Kids normally take well to dogs. The only issue is dogs in homes are often in there for a reason. A lot of them will need work and maybe not ideally suited to kids and being left too long.
Weekends away and holidays are even more of an issue that leaving the dog over a working day.
Kids normally take well to dogs. The only issue is dogs in homes are often in there for a reason. A lot of them will need work and maybe not ideally suited to kids and being left too long.
Edited by Driver101 on Sunday 19th October 21:30
BoRED S2upid said:
Then you shouldn't have a dog IMO. I
I know not everyone agrees with this. What happened to that guy? Anyway I agree with bs.I'm no dog expert but I believe they are too social to be left alone for 5 days for such a long time.
Mine goes mental when I come back in after 5 minutes. They are pack animals I don't think its natural for them.
Just my opinion for what it's worth.
mojitomax said:
And don't forget that if you go away for a weekend you have to think of who's looking after the dog.
This.We've just been away for a week at short notice and outr usual dog sitter wasnt available. Cost £480 at a boutique pet hotel for the week (did have a webcam in it though)
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