The pain of loss - how long?

Author
Discussion

Jasandjules

69,910 posts

229 months

Wednesday 26th November 2014
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Souls spend eternity together. You will meet again.

ali_kat

31,992 posts

221 months

Wednesday 26th November 2014
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Pleased it helped you mate

Jasandjules said:
Souls spend eternity together. You will meet again.
That's lovely cloud9

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

54 months

Wednesday 26th November 2014
quotequote all
ali_kat said:
Pleased it helped you mate
Thanks!

Jasandjules said:
Souls spend eternity together. You will meet again.
ali_kat said:
That's lovely cloud9
Agreed - thanks Jasandjules!

boobles

15,241 posts

215 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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Just going through the same feelings. Said goodbye to our brave boy yesterday at 12:30pm. He was suffering from fits for almost 3 years & his last few hours were spent blind which has made me so angry. Vet came to our house which made it "easier" for him because although he couldn't see us, he knew we were there. Just going to pick his collar up now & that will be extremely hard to do. RIP little man, no more pain.

bexVN

14,682 posts

211 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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Oh Boobles, I am so sorry frown. I know how much he meant to you, epilepsy is so cruel when it progresses and we are still so limited in what we can do sometimes. Try not to be angry that is not an emotion you want to remember when you think back. Take care.

boobles

15,241 posts

215 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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Thank you... Picking up his collar which I have just done was so difficult. It was freezing cold but I could still smell him on it. Just can't believe what has happened.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

54 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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boobles said:
Thank you... Picking up his collar which I have just done was so difficult. It was freezing cold but I could still smell him on it. Just can't believe what has happened.
I'm with you boobles frown

boobles

15,241 posts

215 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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garyhun said:
I'm with you boobles frown
Thank you.... I have placed his collar along with one of his teddies hanging of one of our pictures in the bedroom & now I have the task & hovering what will be the last bit of his fur from the carpets.

ali_kat

31,992 posts

221 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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boobles said:
Thank you.... I have placed his collar along with one of his teddies hanging of one of our pictures in the bedroom & now I have the task & hovering what will be the last bit of his fur from the carpets.
:hugs:

2 years on & a house move and I'm still finding Bast's hair on some of my clothes...


boobles

15,241 posts

215 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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ali_kat said:
:hugs:

2 years on & a house move and I'm still finding Bast's hair on some of my clothes...
I know it sounds silly but I have bagged up a small amount that I will keep forever.

bexVN

14,682 posts

211 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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boobles said:
Thank you... Picking up his collar which I have just done was so difficult. It was freezing cold but I could still smell him on it. Just can't believe what has happened.
I miss Jimmy's smell. I kept a blanket he used a lot in my wardrobe unwashed. Every now and then I would get it out to sniff it, when I needed to think of and remember him. Sadly over a yr on it has wained somewhat and I find it harder to find 'jimmys smell) who knew a scent could cause such emotion.

You managed his condition a long time, sadly this is a very common way for epileptics to deteriorate, sudden, without real warning and usually after a fair time of being stable. Very unfair.

ali_kat

31,992 posts

221 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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love

No, it doesn't.

boobles

15,241 posts

215 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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I have just come home from finally wanting to get something to eat & I find my sister sat there with her dog running around our house, drinking from my dogs bowel & playing with his toys! I told her not to be so disrespectful & that our dog wasn't even cremated yet!!!!she left straight away. How could anyone think this would be ok...... Well pissed off.

ali_kat

31,992 posts

221 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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Very unthoughtful of her, I can see that

She may have brought her dog over to comfort you, and not thought about the toys... The bowl, well - it's a bowl; if it would have usually used it when it was over?

boobles

15,241 posts

215 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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ali_kat said:
Very unthoughtful of her, I can see that

She may have brought her dog over to comfort you, and not thought about the toys... The bowl, well - it's a bowl; if it would have usually used it when it was over?
This was the first time her dog had ever stepped foot inside our house because our little man wasn't keen on other dogs being anywhere near his territory, let alone inside the house. I can't even begin to understand why this was ok, especially 24hrs after we lost ours.

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

54 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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Boobles, unfortunately other people are not living through the pain of loss that you are, so sometimes they may do things entirely innocently that you may perceive as a slight to Chantry.

I went through a few 'incidents' in the days after I lost Jaz, which were especially bad on my angry day, and it would have been so easy to get really mad. Instead I tried to think if Jaz would have minded smile

All I can say is that your feelings are very raw right now and the littlest thing will be able to set you off. Try to stop yourself getting angry by acknowledging the possibility that your interpretation may not be entirely accurate because of the pain you are experiencing.

Obviously your sisters actions do seem totally out of order ...... but it, and other situations, may not be as they seem.

Also, think of Chantry tearing her a new one!!! It might help wink


boobles

15,241 posts

215 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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I do understand everything that is being said but she was there yesterday & witnessed his final hours & she also knows how he was around other dogs... He was scared of them & would whine if any approached him & she knew this. I am angry with the fact that although she knew all this, she still decided to bring in her own dog. I am going through the motions right now, one minute I am "ok" the next I am a mess. Knowing that I will never see him again or hold him is breaking my heart.

ali_kat

31,992 posts

221 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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Oh, well that changes things a little if they didn't usually socialise.

But it still could have been out of good. Dogs (and cats) ARE very good at making you feel better when you're grieving...

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

54 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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boobles said:
I do understand everything that is being said but she was there yesterday & witnessed his final hours & she also knows how he was around other dogs... He was scared of them & would whine if any approached him & she knew this. I am angry with the fact that although she knew all this, she still decided to bring in her own dog. I am going through the motions right now, one minute I am "ok" the next I am a mess. Knowing that I will never see him again or hold him is breaking my heart.
She's an idiot in that case!

I really do understand every emotion you have right now and I feel for you. It will get better, trust me, but the pain along the way can be unbearable at times frown

boobles

15,241 posts

215 months

Thursday 27th November 2014
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Thank you so much everyone. It will get easier but for now, the pain is unbearable & it hurts so so much.