My trip to the vets this evening
Discussion
Hmmm ... we're dog sitting for my mother in law for a couple of days so our cat is *WELL* miffed by this and stayed out most of last night only coming in once the dog was asleep upstairs on the bed with the wife.
I was asleep on the living room floor as we have air conditioning in there!
Little bugger obviously felt she needed to get in our good books again as she came and sat on my chest whilst I was asleep - as she often does - and then as I half-asleep stroked her she dropped a dead mouse on my neck...
Phil
I was asleep on the living room floor as we have air conditioning in there!
Little bugger obviously felt she needed to get in our good books again as she came and sat on my chest whilst I was asleep - as she often does - and then as I half-asleep stroked her she dropped a dead mouse on my neck...
Phil
Our cat Clyde sits on the passengers lap looking out of the window when we take him to the vets. He then sits on whoevers lap just looking round and trying to make friends with the other animals. After he has been to the vets (thermometers stuck up where it makes his eyes bulge, punctures from those huuuuuuge 
needles, and recently a course of glow in the dark eyedrops) he just gets back in the car and sits there for the journey home. Lovely cat! He is so docile we think he is a dog in a cats body!
His sister Bonnie is just a scaredy cat though! Y'know that trick that little old martial arts masters do where they make themselves too heavy to pick up - Bonnie has perfected this!
Our other cat Wednesday however...a devil in black and white fur!
Love 'em all to bits though
Ace-T
needles, and recently a course of glow in the dark eyedrops) he just gets back in the car and sits there for the journey home. Lovely cat! He is so docile we think he is a dog in a cats body! His sister Bonnie is just a scaredy cat though! Y'know that trick that little old martial arts masters do where they make themselves too heavy to pick up - Bonnie has perfected this!
Our other cat Wednesday however...a devil in black and white fur!
Love 'em all to bits though
Ace-T
fantastic!
Had our Cat escape once and just sat on the parcel shelf, carried onto the vets on that occasion. Driver behind was wetting himself as it got up and walked from side to side
Also had him (in his cage) in the front seat when I was moving house, went to change gear, and a paw came out and scratched me, cheeky sod.
Our neighbour was taking a gerbil to the vets once, took it in a cardboard box, which it ate through. First she knew of it was when she put the box on the vet's table and it was empty...gerbil later found in back footwell
>> Edited by andy_b on Friday 8th August 14:23
Had our Cat escape once and just sat on the parcel shelf, carried onto the vets on that occasion. Driver behind was wetting himself as it got up and walked from side to side
Also had him (in his cage) in the front seat when I was moving house, went to change gear, and a paw came out and scratched me, cheeky sod.
Our neighbour was taking a gerbil to the vets once, took it in a cardboard box, which it ate through. First she knew of it was when she put the box on the vet's table and it was empty...gerbil later found in back footwell
>> Edited by andy_b on Friday 8th August 14:23
Mr E said:
He's now next to me on the sofa with his "feat" in the air snoring contentedly.
Fantastic spelling mistake, it works even better!
Good story. Ihave 2 cats so also enjoy the:
find box,
find cat1,
put cat in box,
find cat 2,
whilst putting cat 2 in box cat 1 escapes,
find cat1
etc etc
Fortunately they havent escaped in the car yet though. They just make that purthetic whinging sound!
Good story, thanks for the break from this dull work in a hot office!
>> Edited by DustyC on Friday 8th August 14:39
The Difference Between a Cat and a Dog
How to Give a Cat a Pill:
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little b*stard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell, and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
========
How to give Dog a Pill:
1. Wrap it in bacon.
How to Give a Cat a Pill:
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the cat from across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little b*stard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell, and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
========
How to give Dog a Pill:
1. Wrap it in bacon.
CarZee said:
I don't want to sound heartless, but I am, so here goes ...
Surely taking a hamster/gerbil to the vets is a false economy given that they're about 2 quid a piece and flushable
CarZee, can you put a warning out before classic posts like that? I've got coffee all over my laptop now
CarZee said:
I don't want to sound heartless, but I am, so here goes ...
Surely taking a hamster/gerbil to the vets is a false economy given that they're about 2 quid a piece and flushable
you could always shove it on your car ariel or put all your kids felt-tip pens in its arse and use it as a pencil case.
i remember the roadkill hedgehog/arctic lemming tax disc holders,i wonder how a hamster would look?
>> Edited by cortinaman on Sunday 10th August 08:40
We're off on hols tmrw and have to get 2 cats to the cattery today. But as predicted one of them has gone to ground and there's no trace. Bu$$er. Looks like it will have to fend for itself for 2 weeks. Wife's just about lost the plot and threatening all sorts of retribution on the poor moggy for causing such angst. I'm sure that the cat can sense the tension from half a mile away and the last place it's going near is the room with the cat transport box in it!!
I will never understand why a dog owner who fails to pick up his pets cr*p is so frowned upon and yet cat owners of the world just open their back doors and let Tiddles cr*p wherever he likes. In our village there are signs alerting dog owners to fines of up to £1,000 for failing to pick up. The sign doesn’t mention cats though.
My immediate neighbours have five cats, four of which seem to treat one end of my garden as some sort of public convenience. They actually have made a small hole at the end of their garden to allow easier access for their little sh*t machines to go out and leave their calling cards in other peoples gardens.
Tired of their antisocial behaviour, I have taken to flicking it back over with a small trowel bought specifically for the purpose. If it happens to be a day when they have washing on the line I always consider it is a bonus.
Jenny
My immediate neighbours have five cats, four of which seem to treat one end of my garden as some sort of public convenience. They actually have made a small hole at the end of their garden to allow easier access for their little sh*t machines to go out and leave their calling cards in other peoples gardens.
Tired of their antisocial behaviour, I have taken to flicking it back over with a small trowel bought specifically for the purpose. If it happens to be a day when they have washing on the line I always consider it is a bonus.
Jenny
"Furry Fangio ends up sitting on my lap with two paws on the steering wheel looking out of the front window."
My old moggie (tiddles) used to LOVE being driven anywhere.
Her 2nd fave place was to stand on passenger seat with front paws on dash watching the world fly bye (really)
1st fav place was to curl up under the rear screen watching the traffic behind. If anyone tried to tailgate she'd go all defensive, ie back arched, fur on end etc etc. Used to be so funny watching the expressions on the Nova brigades faces...........Mojo.
My old moggie (tiddles) used to LOVE being driven anywhere.
Her 2nd fave place was to stand on passenger seat with front paws on dash watching the world fly bye (really)
1st fav place was to curl up under the rear screen watching the traffic behind. If anyone tried to tailgate she'd go all defensive, ie back arched, fur on end etc etc. Used to be so funny watching the expressions on the Nova brigades faces...........Mojo.
Jenny Taillier said:
I will never understand why a dog owner who fails to pick up his pets cr*p is so frowned upon and yet cat owners of the world just open their back doors and let Tiddles cr*p wherever he likes. In our village there are signs alerting dog owners to fines of up to £1,000 for failing to pick up. The sign doesn’t mention cats though.
My immediate neighbours have five cats, four of which seem to treat one end of my garden as some sort of public convenience. They actually have made a small hole at the end of their garden to allow easier access for their little sh*t machines to go out and leave their calling cards in other peoples gardens.
Tired of their antisocial behaviour, I have taken to flicking it back over with a small trowel bought specifically for the purpose. If it happens to be a day when they have washing on the line I always consider it is a bonus.
Jenny
If you feed them, just with scraps out of your kitchen or whatever, they stop shittin in your garden. Worked with our neighbours when they had 2 cats. They go somewhere else if you feed them
a mate of mine came to my place recently, as we had both been working all day and neither of us had eaten he went to the local chinese takeaway, when he arrived at the chinese he found that one of my chickens had gone to roost on his rear spoiler, i was amazed it stayed on at 60-70 mph! for 2 miles!
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