My trip to the vets this evening
Discussion
Harry Flashman said:
This is still one of the funniest things ever posted on PH. Brilliant.
Is said cat still with you, E?
The cat concerned was Tuscan, a farm mog with the brains of a daily mail reader. His favourite trick was to start fights with cars (moving cars), which he would invariably lose quite badly.Is said cat still with you, E?
It cost me a fair sum of money over 18 months and him a lot of damage (specifically his tail and his life). I was in China when I got the call of "we think we have your car here, he's been killed on the road".
I asked why they thought it was my cat, and the response was "well, it looks like your cat, it was hit 200m away from your house, it has no tail like your cat and the chip in its neck gives us your phone number....."
Right. My cat then.
Good cat. Stupid, hugely stupid, but good cat.
Waited until we moved somewhere with less traffic and then acquired Bonnie and Clyde. Clyde appears to be Tuscan Mk2, an affectionate highly stupid slut-cat. Who seems to not run out in front of cars. So there's hope...
That was probably more information that you (or anyone) wanted.
<edit 30 Oct 2013; Links to kitty pictures removed - google tags them as malware and I'm not sure why yet.>
Edited by Mr E on Wednesday 30th October 12:56
Mr E said:
I asked why they thought it was my cat, and the response was "well, it looks like your cat, it was hit 200m away from your house, it has no tail like your cat and the chip in its neck gives us your phone number....."
Right. My cat then.
Sorry but Right. My cat then.
Poor daft sod. The cat. Not you.
simpo one said:
That's exactly what happened with mine once! Animals loose in a car are never a good idea. Goats are geneally the worst, but until you realise there's a tortoise stuck under your brake pedal you've never known the meaning of fear.
Edited by Howard- on Thursday 27th May 11:10
Sorry to resurrect such an old thread, but ace
Had the same thing yesterday, running the gf's cat to the vet. Bloody thing opened the cage, ran around the back of the car and curled up on the parcel shelf
Post trip to the vets, cat shaking scared so whilst the gf hopped out to get to the shop I thought I'd open the cage to relax him a bit. He bolts out and lies down under the pedals
Had the same thing yesterday, running the gf's cat to the vet. Bloody thing opened the cage, ran around the back of the car and curled up on the parcel shelf
Post trip to the vets, cat shaking scared so whilst the gf hopped out to get to the shop I thought I'd open the cage to relax him a bit. He bolts out and lies down under the pedals We've had the same, only way more pathetic than a macho cat bursting out the box.
Instead, when we took our cat to my girlfriends parents house for the weekend it decided to s
t in the box on the way there. I gagged so hard on the smell I nearly crashed.
So pull over, get the cat box out
Get the cat out the box
Clean the st from its back legs
Clean the stty news paper from the box
Find emergency flash lemon wipes I forgot about in the glove box (score)
Clean the cat box thoroughly
Forgetting cats aren't fond of lemon smell, wrestle cat back in the box
Drive off, air the car out with all the windows down
Cat then pisses in the box
CBA to pull over and do the cleaning again
Just let the car roam around in the interior
Thankfully she decided to curl up under the rear seats and stayed there
night mare. But thats not all!!!
Our cat is a proper wimp. We only live in a 2 bed flat and she won't even explore the whole flat! she Sprints out of any room she hasn't yet been in and even though she occasionally paws the front door, when you let her out to explore she spends about 2 seconds before bolting back inside. Anyway, at my girlfriends parents house, we discover a leak in the roof. I pull the loft door down and extend the ladders to go have a look. Find leak, then we go to call her parents. Leak has since stopped (only leaked when using shower). Left the loft open for a while and then we hear meowing.
The bloody cat, the cat that absolutely will not explore and is scared of its own shadow has decided that going up the vertical staircase (and its a well spaced ladder so she must of jumped each rung) and into the loft was a brilliant idea. We now have a ceiling cat is watching you masturbate moment. Cat now won't come down, so we try to rescue her....
Now imagine, like in the cartoons... a cat with all four legs spread out, pushing against the loft door frame with my girlfriend trying to get the cat. She had hold of the cat standing on the stairs beneath the cat so it wasn't like we were pushing it down the stairs, but she absolutely would not come down. Proper panicked meows and wails, scratching and everything. Fur going absolutely everywhere. Trying a different tack my girl friend goes into the loft and grabs cat. Craddling cat she trys to lower the cat down into my arms. Im waiting halfway up the ladder to get her. Nope, goes mental, grabs on to anything to stop herself going down the stairs and eventually swipes me across the neck!!!!
We eventually got her down and immediately after she just looks at you like "what you looking at?" unbelievable!!!! then she throws her self on the floor expecting belly rubs!!!
But wait.... theres even more!!
On the way home we get an action replay of the trip out!!! Shat and pissed in the box again!!!
Never again... Im just gonna pile a few packets of whiskas in her bowl and leave her at home!
Instead, when we took our cat to my girlfriends parents house for the weekend it decided to s
t in the box on the way there. I gagged so hard on the smell I nearly crashed.So pull over, get the cat box out
Get the cat out the box
Clean the s
t from its back legsClean the s
tty news paper from the boxFind emergency flash lemon wipes I forgot about in the glove box (score)
Clean the cat box thoroughly
Forgetting cats aren't fond of lemon smell, wrestle cat back in the box
Drive off, air the car out with all the windows down
Cat then pisses in the box
CBA to pull over and do the cleaning again
Just let the car roam around in the interior
Thankfully she decided to curl up under the rear seats and stayed there
night mare. But thats not all!!!
Our cat is a proper wimp. We only live in a 2 bed flat and she won't even explore the whole flat! she Sprints out of any room she hasn't yet been in and even though she occasionally paws the front door, when you let her out to explore she spends about 2 seconds before bolting back inside. Anyway, at my girlfriends parents house, we discover a leak in the roof. I pull the loft door down and extend the ladders to go have a look. Find leak, then we go to call her parents. Leak has since stopped (only leaked when using shower). Left the loft open for a while and then we hear meowing.
The bloody cat, the cat that absolutely will not explore and is scared of its own shadow has decided that going up the vertical staircase (and its a well spaced ladder so she must of jumped each rung) and into the loft was a brilliant idea. We now have a ceiling cat is watching you masturbate moment. Cat now won't come down, so we try to rescue her....
Now imagine, like in the cartoons... a cat with all four legs spread out, pushing against the loft door frame with my girlfriend trying to get the cat. She had hold of the cat standing on the stairs beneath the cat so it wasn't like we were pushing it down the stairs, but she absolutely would not come down. Proper panicked meows and wails, scratching and everything. Fur going absolutely everywhere. Trying a different tack my girl friend goes into the loft and grabs cat. Craddling cat she trys to lower the cat down into my arms. Im waiting halfway up the ladder to get her. Nope, goes mental, grabs on to anything to stop herself going down the stairs and eventually swipes me across the neck!!!!
We eventually got her down and immediately after she just looks at you like "what you looking at?" unbelievable!!!! then she throws her self on the floor expecting belly rubs!!!
But wait.... theres even more!!
On the way home we get an action replay of the trip out!!! Shat and pissed in the box again!!!
Never again... Im just gonna pile a few packets of whiskas in her bowl and leave her at home!
Edited by Otispunkmeyer on Tuesday 8th November 22:46
I had to get a cat to the vet in Baghdad, not a simple or usual task, but it turned into an epic:
it was decided that the house cat needed its vaccinations if it was going to continue residing with us. That job fell to me........(this thing arrived as a cute kitten, but soon turned into a monster Baghdad Alley cat with a head like a Rugby Ball and one eye)
Found a Vet, this was the easy bit.
Invited the vet to the house to do the deed (safer option given the location).
Local Iraqi Vet arrives.
Cat meets Vet.
Cat takes to the top of the curtains, wardrobe, any other high object in vicinty.
Vet decides cat must go to the surgery for treatment.
Borrow Dog sized transport box from neighbour (helpful dog handling types).
Catch Cat and hand it to vet in large box.
Treat wounds to arms and hands.
Vet requires an escort to the Checkpoint leading out of the Green Zone into Baghdad.
Duly escorts Vet and now very annoyed cat to the Checkpoint.
Walk through checkpoint under the extremely bemused gaze of the Iraqis entering the Green Zone to the sounds of cat howling and hissing.
US Marine stops us in checkpoint and demands to search the box.
Turns front of box towards the heavily armed US Marine and invite him to help himself.
US Marine attempts to open the mesh door and retreats swiftly as the more heavily armed Cat fights back, decides box is not worth searching.
Wave goodbye to Vet at checkpoint and do the walk of shame back through the checkpoint.
Fast forward two days:
Receive phone call to collect cat from checkpoint.
Drive to checkpoint to collect said beasty.
Collect Cat from Vet, pay extortionate bill, wave goodbye to Vet.
Return through checkpoint with a very angry Cat in a Box.
Stopped by Iraqi Army and informed animals are only allowed through a checkpoint on the other side of the city. Sent back to the Iraqi side of the checkpoint complete with cat.
Now stuck on the outside of the Green Zone, unarmed (apart from a Cat) and no phone (its in the checkpoint) and looking distinctly 'not a local'.
Flag down Iraqi Taxi, using Charades and a smattering of the wrong type of Arabic, direct bemused Taxi driver to next checkpoint and put Cat in a box in the passenger seat and shuts door.
Return alone through checkpoint.
Grab car and drive across the Green Zone to the next check point.
Discover its not a pedestrian checkpoint and I must drive out.
Drive hugely conspicuous white SUV out of the checkpoint hoping to find a taxi with a cat in it.
Find a very relieved (and confused) Taxi driver.
Pay Taxi driver, collect Cat in a Box.
Return to Checkpoint.
Iraqi Army demands to know where the rest of my 'convoy' is. Explain I am just collecting a Cat, Iraqi Army not convinced.
Iraqi Army discover highly dangerous cat in the back of vehicle.
Iraqi Army insist on opening box,
Iraqi Soldier immediately regrets decision and retreats to tend to wounds to the sounds of laughter from his supportive comrades.
Cat runs and hides in the back of the SUV.
Iraqi Army decides to let me through, but only after every man jack in the checkpoint has had chance to come and see the strange Brit in a car with an angry cat.
Depart checkpoint with angry cat.
Return to house.
Release Cat.
Never again......................
it was decided that the house cat needed its vaccinations if it was going to continue residing with us. That job fell to me........(this thing arrived as a cute kitten, but soon turned into a monster Baghdad Alley cat with a head like a Rugby Ball and one eye)
Found a Vet, this was the easy bit.
Invited the vet to the house to do the deed (safer option given the location).
Local Iraqi Vet arrives.
Cat meets Vet.
Cat takes to the top of the curtains, wardrobe, any other high object in vicinty.
Vet decides cat must go to the surgery for treatment.
Borrow Dog sized transport box from neighbour (helpful dog handling types).
Catch Cat and hand it to vet in large box.
Treat wounds to arms and hands.
Vet requires an escort to the Checkpoint leading out of the Green Zone into Baghdad.
Duly escorts Vet and now very annoyed cat to the Checkpoint.
Walk through checkpoint under the extremely bemused gaze of the Iraqis entering the Green Zone to the sounds of cat howling and hissing.
US Marine stops us in checkpoint and demands to search the box.
Turns front of box towards the heavily armed US Marine and invite him to help himself.
US Marine attempts to open the mesh door and retreats swiftly as the more heavily armed Cat fights back, decides box is not worth searching.
Wave goodbye to Vet at checkpoint and do the walk of shame back through the checkpoint.
Fast forward two days:
Receive phone call to collect cat from checkpoint.
Drive to checkpoint to collect said beasty.
Collect Cat from Vet, pay extortionate bill, wave goodbye to Vet.
Return through checkpoint with a very angry Cat in a Box.
Stopped by Iraqi Army and informed animals are only allowed through a checkpoint on the other side of the city. Sent back to the Iraqi side of the checkpoint complete with cat.
Now stuck on the outside of the Green Zone, unarmed (apart from a Cat) and no phone (its in the checkpoint) and looking distinctly 'not a local'.
Flag down Iraqi Taxi, using Charades and a smattering of the wrong type of Arabic, direct bemused Taxi driver to next checkpoint and put Cat in a box in the passenger seat and shuts door.
Return alone through checkpoint.
Grab car and drive across the Green Zone to the next check point.
Discover its not a pedestrian checkpoint and I must drive out.
Drive hugely conspicuous white SUV out of the checkpoint hoping to find a taxi with a cat in it.
Find a very relieved (and confused) Taxi driver.
Pay Taxi driver, collect Cat in a Box.
Return to Checkpoint.
Iraqi Army demands to know where the rest of my 'convoy' is. Explain I am just collecting a Cat, Iraqi Army not convinced.
Iraqi Army discover highly dangerous cat in the back of vehicle.
Iraqi Army insist on opening box,
Iraqi Soldier immediately regrets decision and retreats to tend to wounds to the sounds of laughter from his supportive comrades.
Cat runs and hides in the back of the SUV.
Iraqi Army decides to let me through, but only after every man jack in the checkpoint has had chance to come and see the strange Brit in a car with an angry cat.
Depart checkpoint with angry cat.
Return to house.
Release Cat.
Never again......................
Ive got 2 cats and a dog.
Old cat gets in her basket and then is silent all the way to vets.
Young cat-tinkles, is a different matter.
1st step- call search and rescue to locate cat in house.
2nd step- SWAT team arrive in full body armour to put cat in basket.
3rd step- put cat in car and wear ear muffs, the cat makes soooo much noise.
4th step- police escort to vets.
5th step- Arrive at vets, SAS have put in a 500 yard exclusion zone and helicopter buzzing overhead.
6th step- take cat into vets.
7th step- Vet comes into examination room wear full body armour and examines said cat.
8th step- reverse of step 1-7.
9th step- let cat out of basket and then runs to my bed and p*sses on it!!!
My dog is so much easier.
Old cat gets in her basket and then is silent all the way to vets.
Young cat-tinkles, is a different matter.
1st step- call search and rescue to locate cat in house.
2nd step- SWAT team arrive in full body armour to put cat in basket.
3rd step- put cat in car and wear ear muffs, the cat makes soooo much noise.
4th step- police escort to vets.
5th step- Arrive at vets, SAS have put in a 500 yard exclusion zone and helicopter buzzing overhead.
6th step- take cat into vets.
7th step- Vet comes into examination room wear full body armour and examines said cat.
8th step- reverse of step 1-7.
9th step- let cat out of basket and then runs to my bed and p*sses on it!!!
My dog is so much easier.
wow - I'm glad to know that my pain at taking the mogs to the v.e.t. is shared by others.
- 1 cat meows so loudly and piteously that you'd think that you were taking him on his last journey (though sadly given his age that is starting to look like a good possibility
), #2 cat just leaves a parcel to be dealt with, #3 cat is a hateful spiteful black ball of demonic fur that even the vet doesn't like
I do feel sorry for people who struggle to get cats in baskets or cats that make a racket in the car. I have never really experienced this with any of mine!!
Lock cat flap, get cat box out and open it (top opening, never front!) find right cat (I had 4 at one time) pick cat up, place in basket, close lid, task complete.
Lock cat flap, get cat box out and open it (top opening, never front!) find right cat (I had 4 at one time) pick cat up, place in basket, close lid, task complete.
Our cat kept going missing for weeks on end and my Mrs being the worried little cat lover she is decided we had to go and find him. Turns out he found a new place to hang out, an old lady who kept feeding him (he's now a fat cat) he didn't mind getting in the car but as soon as I started the engine he was jumping around like he had a rocket up his arse needless to say a few scratched later we got him back. We have moved now so hopefully he knows where his home is..
Not bumped for over two years?!
I was reminded only today as I tried to give one of ours a worming tablet.
He's getting on a bit. Doesn't like tablets, doesn't like the car, doesn't like the vet.
In general doesn't like much.
After a 20 minute struggle involving so much fur and blood (mine) we've decided to call it a draw. He can have the tablet another day.
I was reminded only today as I tried to give one of ours a worming tablet.
He's getting on a bit. Doesn't like tablets, doesn't like the car, doesn't like the vet.
In general doesn't like much.
After a 20 minute struggle involving so much fur and blood (mine) we've decided to call it a draw. He can have the tablet another day.
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