How much mercury to kill a dog?

[Doofus]

I don't agree at all with the idea of replacing your kitchen floor with a dog. For one, the dog's got mercury in it, and you wouldn't want the cat to eat some. Second, if you drop a crunchie on a dog, it'll take forever to get the bits of honeycomb out of the fur.

Better off sticking to laminate, timber, vinyl, stone or ceramic, for the flooring, and fur for the dog, I reckon.

[Rawwr]

[anonymous-user]

Rawwr said:

[Cock Womble 7]

Mad as a hatter, that dog.

[anonymous-user]

He can't have that much Mercury anyway......he's just a poor boy, from a poor family.

[The Hypno-Toad]

10 feed dog more mercury.
20 if dog = dead then goto 40
30 goto10
40 dog dead
50 end

[BoRED S2upid]

If the dog is anything like mine you will never kill it someone told me once that chocolate will kill it which is a lie

[Soovy]

The Hypno-Toad said:

10 feed dog more mercury.
20 if dog = dead then goto 40
30 goto10
40 dog dead
50 end

BASIC. Love it.

[Doofus]

BoRED S2upid said:

If the dog is anything like mine you will never kill it someone told me once that chocolate will kill it which is a lie

Well there you are then! Pour melted chocolate over the ktichen floor. As it's liquid, it'll get into all the nooks that the mercury did. Then, when the chocolate sets, you can break it up with a toffee hammer, and the mercury will be stuck to the bottom of the chocolate.

You can then feed the bits of chocolate to the dog because a) apparently the chocolate won't kill it and b) apparently neither will the mercury.

To deal with any mercury the dog may have already eaten, fill him up with melted chocolate. It'll work it's way into all the crevices just as it did with the floor. then leave the dog outside overnight so the chocolate hardens. In the morning, tap him firmly several times with a toffee hammer, tip him up and shake out all the broken up chocolate, and the mercury will be stuck to it just as with the floor.

You can then feed the bits of chocolate to the dog because a) apparently the chocolate won't kill it and b) apparently neither will the mercury.

[Conian]

Soovy said:

The Hypno-Toad said:

10 feed dog more mercury.
20 if dog = dead then goto 40
30 goto10
40 dog dead
50 end

BASIC. Love it.

very poor, at least use a GO SUB routine

[DrTre]

Conian said:

Soovy said:

The Hypno-Toad said:

10 feed dog more mercury.
20 if dog = dead then goto 40
30 goto10
40 dog dead
50 end

BASIC. Love it.

very poor, at least use a GO SUB routine

2 x 6" or a footlong?

[BlackVanGirl]

Profoundly unlikely that the thermometer actually had mercury in unless it's a very very old one - are you pretty sure it really is actually mercury?

[Conian]

DrTre said:

2 x 6" or a footlong?

which is cheaper? and dont you try and con me or i'll start a thread about your amazingly bad customer service! I'll do it, I'll bloody do it!

[Boozy]

Get ready to find the dog hosting various tea partys with strange guests.

[dele]

This thread has actually made me laugh out rather loud at my desk making me look a total cock

[eldar]

Mercury won't kill the dog, it will just go mad.

All you will need to do is decide if its mercury or rabies causing the loony.

[ShadownINja]

hairykrishna said:

plg said:

Vac the whole floor
Wash floor with a very porous sponge
Wash again
Vac again

Get brownie points from other half and an xmas off washing up.

RIsk is you do too good a job...

Vacuuming mercury is an extremely bad idea - it tends to disperse it in extremely fine droplets and vapour. Breathing it in is bad.

Here's a clean up guide;

http://www.hpa.org.uk/web/HPAweb&HPAwebStandar...

Bloody hell. Basically, don't do anything unless you're 100% certain you know what you're doing!

[Mr Will]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

[motco]

BlackVanGirl said:

Profoundly unlikely that the thermometer actually had mercury in unless it's a very very old one - are you pretty sure it really is actually mercury?

Sorry BVG but if it's a silvery thread in the thermometer it IS mercury without any doubt at all. All lab thermometers are mercury as alcohol versions are less accurate and limited in range. Hairykrishna is right, though, the greater danger is from the vapour so try to maintain ventilation for a while.

[wombat172a]

Conian said:

Soovy said:

The Hypno-Toad said:

10 feed dog more mercury.
20 if dog = dead then goto 40
30 goto10
40 dog dead
50 end

BASIC. Love it.

very poor, at least use a GO SUB routine