Cheating wife - what to do?
Discussion
Jimslips said:
fatpasty said:
Your kid is important she isn't!
Yes, but he is required to be as smart as possible to ensure he see's his kid as much as is possilbe.ChunkyloverSV said:
Shes playing you for a mugg, get rid of her pronto.
It would seem that the fundamental trust you need in a relationship has gone.Could you ever trust this woman again? I doubt it.
Some men accept infidelity by their partners.
But cuddling in your own house? I think you should move on and get rid.
Oakey said:
He should end it, all those saying give it a chance are mental, did you even read the OP? He caught her cheating and he is the one seeking counselling to 'get help'.
This suggests she's already convinced him he's to blame for her actions and that he's the problem that needs resolving otherwise they would be going to counselling together.
Bang on. This process is part of handbag.com "How to get divorced and screw him over" process guide book. My Ex tried exactly the same old sh*t. Counselling infers that you're not balanced enough to look after your child, if your wife involves a properly vindictive brief and it all goes horribly legal.This suggests she's already convinced him he's to blame for her actions and that he's the problem that needs resolving otherwise they would be going to counselling together.
Zwoelf said:
justayellowbadge said:
That would be a little incriminating. Maybe just the bruised ones.
So: implied or explicit racism bad, implied or explicit domestic violence funny, yes? Hard to get the metre of this place sometimes... FWDRacer said:
Counselling infers that you're not balanced enough to look after your child, if your wife involves a properly vindictive brief and it all goes horribly legal.
Framing is everything.Attending counselling need not be a negative, certainly not in terms of family (in)justice.
justayellowbadge said:
Zwoelf said:
justayellowbadge said:
That would be a little incriminating. Maybe just the bruised ones.
So: implied or explicit racism bad, implied or explicit domestic violence funny, yes? Hard to get the metre of this place sometimes... 
Depends what you mean by making it work.
Stay together? Yes, you can do that easily.
Ever be able to trust her, not resent her or get the relationship back to where it was before she cheated? Nope. Once the trust is broken it will never be regained in the same way, even if you convince yourself you do trust her you'll always have those niggling doubts when she's late home or dressed up. When someone cheats a big part of the relationship is broken, and that can never be replaced.
Stay together? Yes, you can do that easily.
Ever be able to trust her, not resent her or get the relationship back to where it was before she cheated? Nope. Once the trust is broken it will never be regained in the same way, even if you convince yourself you do trust her you'll always have those niggling doubts when she's late home or dressed up. When someone cheats a big part of the relationship is broken, and that can never be replaced.
I'm of the opinion that if she's done it once, she'll do it again. Forgiving her lets her know that its ok to do it again. She was cuddled up to that other bloke because she didn't want to be cuddled up to you. So the only way to move forward in the relationship is to realise that she might do it again. So you are either OK with her doing it again(who am I to judge) or every time you walk through the front door you might be confronted with her cuddled up with her new squeeze. Can you handle that?
Plotloss said:
FWDRacer said:
Counselling infers that you're not balanced enough to look after your child, if your wife involves a properly vindictive brief and it all goes horribly legal.
Framing is everything.Attending counselling need not be a negative, certainly not in terms of family (in)justice.
justayellowbadge said:
Zwoelf said:
justayellowbadge said:
That would be a little incriminating. Maybe just the bruised ones.
So: implied or explicit racism bad, implied or explicit domestic violence funny, yes? Hard to get the metre of this place sometimes... 
drivin_me_nuts said:
Quite so. In fact, it can also show that you went the extra mile to resolve your issues.
Agree on the context of the councilling. 
I bet he's had a bit of a shout at her because she can't stop having her growler filled ... Councilling = Anger management for the OP. The next thing he'll be seeing his kids in contact centre after CAFCASS have had a proffesional interpretation.Just be aware - that is the watchword.
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