Sean Connery Joke (Vol 6)

Sean Connery Joke (Vol 6)

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Tuscan Rat

Original Poster:

3,276 posts

222 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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Well Volume 6 is now here, so to start it off.....



Three guys walk into a bar.

The first guy says, "I've got the smallest arm in the world."

The second guy, "I've got the smallest head in the world."
...
The third guy, "I've got the smallest penis in the world."

So the three guys go to the Guinness World Records.

The first guy comes back and says, "I really do have the smallest arm in the world!"

The second guy comes back and says, "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world!"

The third guy comes back angry and shouts, "WHO THE fk IS JUSTIN BIEBER?!"

SC7

1,882 posts

180 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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A bloke walks into a pub and orders a pint of Whitbread, before nipping to the gents'.

The barmaid places his pint on the bar, and out of nowhere a muscular black woman appears, hops up onto a bar stool, straddles his glass and trumps right into the ale.

The bloke returns from the toilet, picks up his pint, goes to take a sip and immediately wretches and heaves.

He looks around, wiping his mouth and spots the athletic black woman looking guilty at the other end of the bar.

"Oi," he shouts angrily, "You fart in my Whitbread?!"

"No," she replies, "I'm Tessa Sanderson."

Jonboy_t

5,038 posts

182 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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I was in the bar with my mate when I told him, "My girlfriend bet me a tenner that I wouldn't be home before 10pm tonight."

He replied, "Well you've got 5 minutes to get home then."

"No, I've got 3 hours to borrow a tenner."

Thom987

3,185 posts

165 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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Sent away for a hearing aid in June....still haven't heard anything back.

Laurel Green

30,767 posts

231 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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Mods, can we please have a clown (^^^^ one of them) smiley in the margin please. smile

WestYorkie

1,811 posts

194 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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Urgent advice to ginger women........ Don't have a brazilian... It will look like a fish finger!!

Laurel Green

30,767 posts

231 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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WestYorkie said:
Urgent advice to ginger women........ Don't have a brazilian... It will look like a fish finger!!
hehe

PH lurker

1,301 posts

156 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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Will there be Latvians?...

j44esd

1,233 posts

222 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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PH lurker said:
Will there be Latvians?...
No Latvians. Only potato.

I'm going to hell aren't I?

omgus

7,305 posts

174 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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woohoo
I have the tenn(ish) post. paperbag

snowy slopes

38,716 posts

186 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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j44esd said:
PH lurker said:
Will there be Latvians?...
No Latvians. Only potato.

I'm going to hell aren't I?
No, is too warm, stay here is cold

im

34,302 posts

216 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
quotequote all
Just to log-in to this thread...

What bounces and makes kids cry? My cheque to Children in Need.

snowy slopes

38,716 posts

186 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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I passed my ethics exam today

I cheated

bob1179

14,107 posts

208 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
quotequote all
SC7 said:
A bloke walks into a pub and orders a pint of Whitbread, before nipping to the gents'.

The barmaid places his pint on the bar, and out of nowhere a muscular black woman appears, hops up onto a bar stool, straddles his glass and trumps right into the ale.

The bloke returns from the toilet, picks up his pint, goes to take a sip and immediately wretches and heaves.

He looks around, wiping his mouth and spots the athletic black woman looking guilty at the other end of the bar.

"Oi," he shouts angrily, "You fart in my Whitbread?!"

"No," she replies, "I'm Tessa Sanderson."
hehe

LordHaveMurci

12,032 posts

168 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
quotequote all
WestYorkie said:
Urgent advice to ginger women........ Don't have a brazilian... It will look like a fish finger!!
rofl

JonRB

74,326 posts

271 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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SC7 said:
"You fart in my Whitbread?!"
Reminds me of another beer-related joke.

Rosemary West is released on parole and goes into her local and the barman says "Rosemary! So great to see you. Can I get you a glass of wine perhaps?"

"No", she replies, "but I could murder some Tennents"

Tuscan Rat

Original Poster:

3,276 posts

222 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
quotequote all
Laurel Green said:
Mods, can we please have a clown (^^^^ one of them) smiley in the margin please. smile
Sorted !!!

Laurel Green

30,767 posts

231 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
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Tuscan Rat said:
Sorted !!!
Thanks, TR. smile

Jasandjules

69,787 posts

228 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
quotequote all

snowy slopes

38,716 posts

186 months

Sunday 20th November 2011
quotequote all
JonRB said:
Reminds me of another beer-related joke.

Rosemary West is released on parole and goes into her local and the barman says "Rosemary! So great to see you. Can I get you a glass of wine perhaps?"

"No", she replies, "but I could murder some Tennents"
hehe

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