Sean Connery Joke (Vol 6)
Discussion
On the ASDA PA system: 'Clean-up on aisle 25, we have a husband down'
Husband Down
A husband and wife were shopping in their local ASDA.
The husband picked up a case of Tennents and put it in the trolley.
'What do you think you're doing?' asked the wife.
'They're on sale, only £10 for 24 cans', he replied.
'Put them back, we can't afford them', demanded the wife and carried on shopping.
A few aisles further on along she picked up a £20 jar of face cream and put it in the trolley 'What do you think you're doing?', asked the husband.
'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replied the wife.
To which her husband retorted, 'So does 24 cans of Tennents and it's half the price.'
He never knew what hit him.
Husband Down
A husband and wife were shopping in their local ASDA.
The husband picked up a case of Tennents and put it in the trolley.
'What do you think you're doing?' asked the wife.
'They're on sale, only £10 for 24 cans', he replied.
'Put them back, we can't afford them', demanded the wife and carried on shopping.
A few aisles further on along she picked up a £20 jar of face cream and put it in the trolley 'What do you think you're doing?', asked the husband.
'Its my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replied the wife.
To which her husband retorted, 'So does 24 cans of Tennents and it's half the price.'
He never knew what hit him.
Jonboy_t said:
(to be read in a Yorkshire accent)
A Yorkshire lad's wife dies one day and he decides to have something fitting engraved on her headstone. He decides upon 'She were thine' and trundles off t'engraver to get t'job done.
On the day before t'funeral, he goes into t'engraver to have a look at his work. T'engraver pulls out the headstone and, to the lads horror, he has put 'She were thin' on it. 'Hey, you daft get', he says, 'you missed out an E. Have it fixed and I'll be back in t'morning to get it'.
The next morning, he comes back in to pick up the headstone, lift's it up and reads the passage.
'E, she were thin'.
A Yorkshire lads dog dies one day and he decides, as a tribute, to have a model of the dog cast in gold so he can still keep his little pal around. He goes off to the goldsmith and tells him what kind of thing he's after, 'D'you want 18 carot?' asks the goldsmith. 'No, you daft get,' he replies, 'I want it eatin a bone'.
(Apologies for the appalling grammar and shocking attempt at a Yorkshire accent joke!)
Yorkshire man goes to the vet. "Can tha newter me cat?" he asks,A Yorkshire lad's wife dies one day and he decides to have something fitting engraved on her headstone. He decides upon 'She were thine' and trundles off t'engraver to get t'job done.
On the day before t'funeral, he goes into t'engraver to have a look at his work. T'engraver pulls out the headstone and, to the lads horror, he has put 'She were thin' on it. 'Hey, you daft get', he says, 'you missed out an E. Have it fixed and I'll be back in t'morning to get it'.
The next morning, he comes back in to pick up the headstone, lift's it up and reads the passage.
'E, she were thin'.
A Yorkshire lads dog dies one day and he decides, as a tribute, to have a model of the dog cast in gold so he can still keep his little pal around. He goes off to the goldsmith and tells him what kind of thing he's after, 'D'you want 18 carot?' asks the goldsmith. 'No, you daft get,' he replies, 'I want it eatin a bone'.
(Apologies for the appalling grammar and shocking attempt at a Yorkshire accent joke!)
Vet says "Is it a tom?"
Yorky replies "No, I've brought 'im with me"
Hiromitsu11 said:
Jonboy_t said:
The first rule of thesaurus club is you do not talk about, converse, discuss, chat or mention thesaurus club.
Someone explain this one for the retard over in the corner Thanks
Would it help if the joke was "The first rule of thesaurus club is that you do not talk, articulate, babble, broach, chant, chat, chatter, comment on, communicate, confess, converse, describe, divulge, drawl, drone, express, flap one's tongue, gab, gabble, give voice to, gossip, influence, intone, notify, palaver, parley, patter, persuade, prate, prattle, pronounce, reveal, rhapsodize, run on, say, soliloquize, speak, spill the beans, spout, squeak, squeal, talk one's leg off, tell, tell all, use, utter, ventriloquize, verbalize, voice, yak, argue, be in contact, canvass, carry on conversation, collogue, commune, confabulate, confer, confide, consult, contact, deliberate, dialogue, engage in conversation, exchange, go into a huddle, groupthink, have a meet, hold discussion, huddle, interact, interface, interview, join in conversation, keep in touch, negotiate, network, palaver, parley, reach out, reason, relate, thrash out, touch base, vent about thesaurus club"?
Edited by JonRB on Tuesday 22 November 19:14
JonRB said:
Hiromitsu11 said:
Jonboy_t said:
The first rule of thesaurus club is you do not talk about, converse, discuss, chat or mention thesaurus club.
Someone explain this one for the retard over in the corner Thanks
Would it help if the joke was "The first rule of thesaurus club is that you do not talk, articulate, babble, broach, chant, chat, chatter, comment on, communicate, confess, converse, describe, divulge, drawl, drone, express, flap one's tongue, gab, gabble, give voice to, gossip, influence, intone, notify, palaver, parley, patter, persuade, prate, prattle, pronounce, reveal, rhapsodize, run on, say, soliloquize, speak, spill the beans, spout, squeak, squeal, talk one's leg off, tell, tell all, use, utter, ventriloquize, verbalize, voice, yak, argue, be in contact, canvass, carry on conversation, collogue, commune, confabulate, confer, confide, consult, contact, deliberate, dialogue, engage in conversation, exchange, go into a huddle, groupthink, have a meet, hold discussion, huddle, interact, interface, interview, join in conversation, keep in touch, negotiate, network, palaver, parley, reach out, reason, relate, thrash out, touch base, vent about thesaurus club"?
Edited by JonRB on Tuesday 22 November 19:14
JonRB said:
Hiromitsu11 said:
Jonboy_t said:
The first rule of thesaurus club is you do not talk about, converse, discuss, chat or mention thesaurus club.
Someone explain this one for the retard over in the corner Thanks
Would it help if the joke was "The first rule of thesaurus club is that you do not talk, articulate, babble, broach, chant, chat, chatter, comment on, communicate, confess, converse, describe, divulge, drawl, drone, express, flap one's tongue, gab, gabble, give voice to, gossip, influence, intone, notify, palaver, parley, patter, persuade, prate, prattle, pronounce, reveal, rhapsodize, run on, say, soliloquize, speak, spill the beans, spout, squeak, squeal, talk one's leg off, tell, tell all, use, utter, ventriloquize, verbalize, voice, yak, argue, be in contact, canvass, carry on conversation, collogue, commune, confabulate, confer, confide, consult, contact, deliberate, dialogue, engage in conversation, exchange, go into a huddle, groupthink, have a meet, hold discussion, huddle, interact, interface, interview, join in conversation, keep in touch, negotiate, network, palaver, parley, reach out, reason, relate, thrash out, touch base, vent about thesaurus club"?
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