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Jayzee
2,120 posts
73 months
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Sticks. said: Old but...... 
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Smart Mart
4,066 posts
84 months
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Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of their own. It's a feeling that's bound to grow even stronger now he's unemployed.
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boobles
12,155 posts
84 months
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Smart Mart said: Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of their own. It's a feeling that's bound to grow even stronger now he's unemployed.
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Laurel Green
14,858 posts
101 months
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^^^^ Have another
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Kenty
452 posts
44 months
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Sticks. said: Old but......
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream van hadn't come along." Yes it's old alright, in my day it was a fire engine ........ Towed by horses!
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slopes
27,599 posts
56 months
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Smart Mart said: Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of their own. It's a feeling that's bound to grow even stronger now he's unemployed. Now you know where you should have posted that dont you
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Keyser Soze
10,900 posts
60 months
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slopes said: Smart Mart said: Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of their own. It's a feeling that's bound to grow even stronger now he's unemployed. Now you know where you should have posted that dont you Soooo tempted but bottled it and stole it for the Utd thread
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Jayzee
2,120 posts
73 months
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boobles said: Smart Mart said: Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of their own. It's a feeling that's bound to grow even stronger now he's unemployed. 
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Cock Womble 7
29,908 posts
99 months
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This fat, ugly bird started chatting me up in the pub the other night.
She said "So, do you have a nickname?"
"Yes" I said, "It's Sled".
"Oh", she said, "Is that because you're sleek and fast?"
"No," I said, "it's because I keep getting pulled by dogs."
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Smart Mart
4,066 posts
84 months
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slopes said: Now you know where you should have posted that dont you I was tempted but I didn't really fancy a bin, I mean, a ban!
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johnnymaestro
4,471 posts
92 months
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Smart Mart said: Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of their own. It's a feeling that's bound to grow even stronger now he's unemployed. Once again I thank PH for my daily news update.
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Jayzee
2,120 posts
73 months
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johnnymaestro said: Smart Mart said: Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of their own. It's a feeling that's bound to grow even stronger now he's unemployed. Once again I thank PH for my daily news update. Just did the same here 
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Special K
888 posts
28 months
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Smart Mart said: Liverpool fans have always thought of Dalglish as one of their own. It's a feeling that's bound to grow even stronger now he's unemployed. Stolen for FB
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Rude-boy
15,509 posts
102 months
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My wife is pissed off with me again. I crept into the bedroom last night and
swapped her tampon for a party popper. No sense of humour.
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Laurel Green
14,858 posts
101 months
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^^^^ TEL AVIV, Israel — The Israelis are developing an airport security device that eliminates the privacy concerns that come with full-body scanners. It's an armoured booth you step into that will not X-ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on your person. Israel sees this as a win-win situation for everyone, with none of this crap about racial profiling. It will also eliminate the costs of long and expensive trials. You're in the airport terminal and you hear a muffled explosion. Shortly thereafter, there is an announcement: “Attention to all standby passengers, El Al is proud to announce a seat available on flight 670 to London ”. Shalom!” BRILLIANT.
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craggers
2,427 posts
153 months
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Rude-boy said: My wife is pissed off with me again. I crept into the bedroom last night and
swapped her tampon for a party popper. No sense of humour. didn't she fancy a bang ?
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FUBAR
16,097 posts
107 months
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LordGrover
18,592 posts
81 months
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FUBAR said: I was pilloried for (unknowingly) reposting that for the zillionth time a week or two ago...
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FUBAR
16,097 posts
107 months
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Oh dear. Now I cant delete it as you quoted it. Still, I'll take what's coming like a man.
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Laurel Green
14,858 posts
101 months
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FUBAR said: Oh dear. Now I cant delete it as you quoted it. Still, I'll take what's coming like a man. Your punishment should be Veet covered plums.
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