Appropriate moniker for that wee gem

I organised a threesome last night..

there were a couple of no shows but I still had fun..

A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to
St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for
the cabbie, St. Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff
and to proceed into Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching
these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter.
Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows
his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and
wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth.
You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher
than a cabbie."
St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "this is heaven and, up here, we
are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the
cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed.”

you need this thread.
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...

Just watching the paralympic opening ceremony , surely that giant apple would have been better if they used a cabbage .

I heard that the sponsorship deal with Walls fell through when they revealed plans to hand out raspberry ripples to the crowd instead of apples

A guy buys a boat for cruising the local waterways and canals. It's his pride and joy. He varnishes the wood and has the whole boat painted, right down to having the name gold-leafed onto either side near the stern.

One night there is a storm and lots of surge in the marina. So after work, he drives down to the marina to check the bilgepumps and cleats. As it is now late, he gets a pizza and a few beers and decides to spend the night on the boat.

Around midnight he hears a tap-tap-tap on the side of the boat, so he goes to the aftdeck to see what it is.

There is an old man in a raincoat standing there, who asks "Do you need a hand"?

"No thanks" says the guy and goes back down below.

An hour later, the same thing. Tap-tap-tap on the hull.

A young guy in a pink shirt asks "Do you need a hand"?

"No, no, I'm fine thanks". He returns, scratching his head.

This happens twice more during the night, so first thing in the morning he marches to the marina office to complain about the disturabances during the night.

The marina manager apologises for the lack of sleep suffered and asks which boat he is staying on?

"It's 'Canal Cruiser' , my pride and joy".

"Ah" says the manager "I have some bad news. During the storm a fender has been rubbing your hull".

He sighs *The first letter of your boat name has sadly been worn off".

Got a nice text tonight.........

Good luck tomorrow! What times your race ?
Don't forget to wipe your chin, you'll be on telly !!

Holocaust jokes offend me, Anne Frankly I'm sick of them.