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NotDave
Original Poster
20,951 posts
26 months
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Carthage said: I don't have any left. From the crack or from fighting?
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Carthage
2,969 posts
13 months
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Adenauer said: You're not helping yourself, you know 
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theshrew
1,489 posts
53 months
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So when your Mrs / Gf or whatever lets off the mental. How do you react to the situation ??
Ive tried
Return fire = bigger mental
Try to calm situation down = bigger mental
Say nothing = bigger mental
Take dogs for a walk = got locked out
I no its a long shot but has anyone found a way that works ? Even just a little ?
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CBR JGWRR
5,078 posts
18 months
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Hugs and kisses. Chocolate if you have some with you.
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Agoogy
6,499 posts
117 months
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theshrew said: So when your Mrs / Gf or whatever lets off the mental. How do you react to the situation ??
Ive tried
Return fire = bigger mental
Try to calm situation down = bigger mental
Say nothing = bigger mental
Take dogs for a walk = got locked out
I no its a long shot but has anyone found a way that works ? Even just a little ? Accept the bigger mental until she implodes, sleeps, wakes and apologises... Also: Have you seen Super Nanny....it doesn't matter how worked up and nuts the little kids get, you say nothing and keep putting them back in that chair...it can take some time....
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WorAl
10,877 posts
57 months
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A swift slap across the chops with your leather glove.
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Tyre Tread
6,320 posts
85 months
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theshrew said: So when your Mrs / Gf or whatever lets off the mental. How do you react to the situation ??
Ive tried
Return fire = bigger mental
Try to calm situation down = bigger mental
Say nothing = bigger mental
Take dogs for a walk = got locked out
I no its a long shot but has anyone found a way that works ? Even just a little ? Just act offhand and offer an attitude resignation/indifference. Otherwise you just feed their desire to control you. I usually say 'When you can talk to me rationally I'm here but until then don't bother as I shan't be listening.'- Cue rant which I ignore or preferably leavve the house for some peace and quiet to let her smoulder in her own juice. If she locks me out she can then worry about where I stayed the night 
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prand
2,581 posts
65 months
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I've just remembered some severe mental from a girlfriend a long while ago...
We weren't getting along great, we were both pretty young, moved in with each other and I think both of us knew it wasn't going to be forever.
So the story goes, we went to a local house party of some friends I had made in a new job, she didn't know many of these people. I was having an ok time catching up with these new friends, gf was bored and wanted to leave early. So we had one of "those" conversations where she was saying something like "I'm going, surely you're not going to let me go home by myself?". So we went home, and that was that for the night.
I suspected she was holding something in and this all came out the next day.
We were walking up the road to the tube station and she was going over how much she didn't enjoy the night before, and then came out with it;
"You are having an affair!"
- "Eh?" says I!
Yes - with that girl Fiona who was at the party last night.
- "Who?"
"You know, the girl with the dark curly hair in the kitchen"
- "Oh her, never met her before." I say dismissively
"Rubbish! She handed you a beer from the fridge, you didn't say thanks or anything, so you must be having an affair with her!" (so I do admit I was a rather rude and ignorant young man at the time)
As I laughed at heartily at the absurdity of this accusation, (I really had never seen this girl before that night, and she definitely wasn't my type either), I missed the fact my gf was taking an almighty swing and hit me squarely across the jaw.
That really feckin hurt for a quite a few days after. Our relationship didn't last much longer, but the logic in the above deduction has always amazed me!
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Carthage
2,969 posts
13 months
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May I give you a woman's perspective?
You were rude and annoying, and she just wanted an excuse to punch you.
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OlberJ
11,953 posts
102 months
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theshrew said: So when your Mrs / Gf or whatever lets off the mental. How do you react to the situation ??
Ive tried
Return fire = bigger mental
Try to calm situation down = bigger mental
Say nothing = bigger mental
Take dogs for a walk = got locked out
I no its a long shot but has anyone found a way that works ? Even just a little ? Lay down rules which don't allow her to get so mental in the 1st place. Prevention, not cure.
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theshrew
1,489 posts
53 months
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OlberJ said: Lay down rules which don't allow her to get so mental in the 1st place.
Prevention, not cure. No such thing as preventing the mental from my Mrs. When it comes it comes in a huge wave destroying everything in its path.
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Council Baby
16,100 posts
59 months
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theshrew said: So when your Mrs / Gf or whatever lets off the mental. How do you react to the situation ??
Ive tried
Return fire = bigger mental
Try to calm situation down = bigger mental
Say nothing = bigger mental
Take dogs for a walk = got locked out
I no its a long shot but has anyone found a way that works ? Even just a little ? Duck and cover. Cricket box, pads, helmet, gum protector. And wait.
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gtdc
4,234 posts
152 months
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WorAl said: Can anyone, especially the ladies, point to where I went wrong? My flabber has been ghasted. Could be one of two things:- 1) she's sick of you and this display of belly presenting from you has brought forward the moment she dumps you or 2) she's 14 and you shouldn't be dating her anyway
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66comanche
2,369 posts
28 months
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WorAl you are about to make an alimighty rod for your own back! What are you apologising/buying presents for? You have done nothing wrong, you were honest and if she can't handle it - tough! You are about to reward and reinforce the fact that she was right to feel that way and you were in the wrong, once you're in that scenario it will crop up time and again. How it might have been better handled, just an idea anyway: See email but ignore, keep it as unread. When you're both sat down, make a show of going on the pc to check your email to see if that so-and-so has been dispatched from amazon/ebay or whatever. Then get furious 'I can't believe that b  h has the audacity to contact me...' even a few crocodile tears if you can at how upset you are You can't deal with things like this in a logical, calm way, women are emotional animals and can rarely identify or empathise with our approach. Result: Her consoling you as you're very upset, probably leading to the infamous back-door smashing (apologies for the PH cliché). HTH.
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dmulally
2,773 posts
49 months
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theshrew said: So when your Mrs / Gf or whatever lets off the mental. How do you react to the situation ??
Ive tried
Return fire = bigger mental
Try to calm situation down = bigger mental
Say nothing = bigger mental
Take dogs for a walk = got locked out
I no its a long shot but has anyone found a way that works ? Even just a little ? Take the dogs for a walk. At least they will appreciate you for it and it is a better use of your time getting some fresh air and exercise.
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dmulally
2,773 posts
49 months
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prand said: I've just remembered some severe mental from a girlfriend a long while ago...
We weren't getting along great, we were both pretty young, moved in with each other and I think both of us knew it wasn't going to be forever.
So the story goes, we went to a local house party of some friends I had made in a new job, she didn't know many of these people. I was having an ok time catching up with these new friends, gf was bored and wanted to leave early. So we had one of "those" conversations where she was saying something like "I'm going, surely you're not going to let me go home by myself?". So we went home, and that was that for the night.
I suspected she was holding something in and this all came out the next day.
We were walking up the road to the tube station and she was going over how much she didn't enjoy the night before, and then came out with it;
"You are having an affair!"
- "Eh?" says I!
Yes - with that girl Fiona who was at the party last night.
- "Who?"
"You know, the girl with the dark curly hair in the kitchen"
- "Oh her, never met her before." I say dismissively
"Rubbish! She handed you a beer from the fridge, you didn't say thanks or anything, so you must be having an affair with her!" (so I do admit I was a rather rude and ignorant young man at the time)
As I laughed at heartily at the absurdity of this accusation, (I really had never seen this girl before that night, and she definitely wasn't my type either), I missed the fact my gf was taking an almighty swing and hit me squarely across the jaw.
That really feckin hurt for a quite a few days after. Our relationship didn't last much longer, but the logic in the above deduction has always amazed me! I used to hate staying at boring parties when I didnt know anyone. I would have punched you too. 
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DJRC
19,823 posts
105 months
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How to deal with the mental: move to Switzerland.
It doesnt stop it. But at least it gives you some distance to be protected from it and you can think about the 10% tax rate whilst she is firing on all cylinders at you. She remains mental, you at least manage to be a little calmer.
Use the flights home to work out wtf you do about the baby stuff.
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OlberJ
11,953 posts
102 months
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Btw, WorAl, random flying off the hook at you doing something seemingly innocent? Sounds like someone has skeletons in her closet and she's lashing out at you to try and even up the score in her head. "I've f ked up and shagged sumone so i'll make out that he's been just as bad. That'll even us out."
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66comanche
2,369 posts
28 months
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OlberJ said: Btw, WorAl, random flying off the hook at you doing something seemingly innocent? Sounds like someone has skeletons in her closet and she's lashing out at you to try and even up the score in her head. "I've f ked up and shagged sumone so i'll make out that he's been just as bad. That'll even us out." Says the expert that caused the whole Dbannatyne/Amy episode - you have a lot to learn son before you dish out advice.
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Bhuvsta
151 posts
31 months
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I used to be in a relationship, but then I took an arrow to the knee.
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