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dmulally
2,773 posts
49 months
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Shaw Tarse said: At least the plastic fork wont be as bad when it goes into the average PH'ers leg.
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Council Baby
16,107 posts
59 months
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I think this belongs here: 
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Justayellowbadge
29,451 posts
111 months
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Council Baby said: I think this belongs here: Awwww. That is just soooo sweet.
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CBR JGWRR
5,078 posts
18 months
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Zwolf said: CBR JGWRR said: Yes, but if you go yourself, it gets bonus points with her for going shopping with her. Nope. Not being there means you're not there to curtail or in any way discourage inappropriate spending, which men inevitably do in such circumstances. The flip side being that she also can't curtail vehicular purchases/expenditure in turn. I did mention this one... Well, apart from vehiclar expenses. 
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NotDave
Original Poster
20,951 posts
26 months
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Minor mental. It's "the week" and she's gotta cold too..... So this morning when walking downstairs, I was asked if I wanted toast. I replied affirmative. She offers me hers, that's just popped up, I say: "no it's cool you eat that, I'll do my own. That's a bit pale for me" I'm greeted with a string of anger in the form of: "Oh for f  ks sakes, never f king happy are you? why don't just f k off to work, f king hell you're getting on my tits today"  I saunter off, stick me shoes etc on. Return and get.......... My lunch air mailed across the kitchen at me. Accompanied by: "JUST f k OFF TO WORK, f k OFF! GO ON, f k YOURSELF" Now, besides me being in stitches with laughter at this pathetic tantrum, I was slightly miffed. Sure enough FFWD 2hours and I get the "sorry" text. 
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Agoogy
6,507 posts
117 months
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Adenauer
8,915 posts
105 months
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You've already returned home for lunch?  ETA: Ahh, you put your shoes on and returned to get your school lunch 
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Sowler
110 posts
18 months
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If my OH acted like that towards me I'd be having strong words with her and telling her to sort her f king attitude out!
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Adenauer
8,915 posts
105 months
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Sowler said: If my OH acted like that towards me I'd be having strong words with her and telling her to sort her f king attitude out! Then you wouldn't get any mental sex. Dave would take a splintered wooden skewer straight up the japseye, if he knew he'd get mental sex once the wound had healed. 
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The Beaver King
3,552 posts
64 months
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Adenauer said: Sowler said: If my OH acted like that towards me I'd be having strong words with her and telling her to sort her f king attitude out! Then you wouldn't get any mental sex. Dave would take a splintered wooden skewer straight up the japseye, if he knew he'd get mental sex once the wound had healed. Indeed, mental sex is way more fun than normal sex. Lots more biting, clawing, filth and depravity. All this can be yours for the low, low price of living in the constant fear of waking up with your mouth sewn shut and your testicles in a jar on the mantle...
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Council Baby
16,107 posts
59 months
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The Beaver King said: Indeed, mental sex is way more fun than normal sex. Lots more biting, clawing, filth and depravity.
All this can be yours for the low, low price of living in the constant fear of waking up with your mouth sewn shut and your testicles in a jar on the mantle...  I wondered what was currently missing in my life  I'm off to phone an ex 
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NotDave
Original Poster
20,951 posts
26 months
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Only way to deal with a mental, is to be:
- unfazed
- calm
- afraid of nothing. Even death or a false rape/GBH claim
-have no secrets
- have nothing to hide
- have no vices
- not worry when you get accused of all sorts even when it's all in their head
And finally, enjoy depraved sex
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Tyre Tread
6,320 posts
85 months
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NotDave said: Minor mental. It's "the week" and she's gotta cold too..... So this morning when walking downstairs, I was asked if I wanted toast. I replied affirmative. She offers me hers, that's just popped up, I say: "no it's cool you eat that, I'll do my own. That's a bit pale for me" I'm greeted with a string of anger in the form of: "Oh for f ks sakes, never f king happy are you? why don't just f k off to work, f king hell you're getting on my tits today" I saunter off, stick me shoes etc on. Return and get.......... My lunch air mailed across the kitchen at me. Accompanied by: "JUST f k OFF TO WORK, f k OFF! GO ON, f k YOURSELF" Now, besides me being in stitches with laughter at this pathetic tantrum, I was slightly miffed. Sure enough FFWD 2hours and I get the "sorry" text. She's shagging someone else and was annoyed as she wanted you out of the house ASAP so she could get him in for a 2 hour session. Sated, she sent you the sorry text so you'll continue to cater for her cuddling needs while her other chap sees to her demented depraved sex needs.
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NotDave
Original Poster
20,951 posts
26 months
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Tyre Tread said: She's shagging someone else and was annoyed as she wanted you out of the house ASAP so she could get him in for a 2 hour session.
Sated, she sent you the sorry text so you'll continue to cater for her cuddling needs while her other chap sees to her demented depraved sex needs. erm....... NO! After the lunchbox, she followed me out the house, and was in the car heading for work
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Tyre Tread
6,320 posts
85 months
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NotDave said: erm....... NO! After the lunchbox, she followed me out the house, and was in the car heading for work Is that what she told you?
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Justayellowbadge
29,451 posts
111 months
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NotDave said: Tyre Tread said: She's shagging someone else and was annoyed as she wanted you out of the house ASAP so she could get him in for a 2 hour session.
Sated, she sent you the sorry text so you'll continue to cater for her cuddling needs while her other chap sees to her demented depraved sex needs. erm....... NO! After the lunchbox, she followed me out the house, and was in the car heading for work That's what he said.
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Keyser Soze
10,924 posts
60 months
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NotDave said: erm....... NO! After the lunchbox, she followed me out the house, and was in the car heading for work You are both old enough to drive? Oh......
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NotDave
Original Poster
20,951 posts
26 months
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Keyser Soze said: You are both old enough to drive? Oh...... I'm the same age mentally & physically, she's physically 20 years older than she is mentally
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TVR1
2,930 posts
94 months
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NotDave said: I'm the same age mentally & physically, she's physically 20 years older than she is mentally Perfectly acceptable.... 'Tis the other way around that causes problems. 
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NotDave
Original Poster
20,951 posts
26 months
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TVR1 said: Perfectly acceptable.... 'Tis the other way around that causes problems. Aye no one wants to be rattling' a 19 year old stunner who spends her evenings knitting and watching re-runs of Midsomer murders
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