Student daughter left behind on college trip

[ribenavrs]

Morning

Got a call from my nearly 17yr old daughter in tears this morning at 0600hrs

She left for a college trip to the EU Parliament in Brussels yesterday (Weds)

Staying in a hotel in Bruges, she and her friend had woken, gone for breakfast, returned to their room, packed up and went down to the lobby to join the 40ish strong group to get on the coach

It and the group had gone !!

She had no group leader contact and spoke to friends on the coach confirming it had left, then spoke to the leader who told her quite rudely to " Get a train to Brussels!! "

I managed to calm her down, got her to ask at reception who gave her a map. They both managed to walk a mile at -8oC, find the station, get on a train to Brussels and get a taxi to rejoin the group at the Parliament. Encountering a nice man from Sheffield who helped them along the way !

Happy she's safe at this point

Have spoken to the other parent who is not happy either

Points :
Not much info from the college pre trip (possibly daughter a little at fault here!!)
No clear group leader out of 5-6 tutors?
No effective head counts ( have since found out this task was passed to another student to carry out and they were ticked off? )
Rude and abrupt response from tutor

Rather than make a specific complaint to the college we (other parent) decide to contact the school and ask for the contact details of the group leader and see where this took the conversation

Spoke to the leaders line manager who was quite concerned and pledged to get to the bottom of it all. Apparently during the conversation it would seem she had had some contact with the group and that the coach had turned round and collected someone????

Sounds like someone trying to dig their way out of a hole !!!!

I have been quite calm about the situation however I would prefer to rip the fking tutor a new one and reduce her to fking jelly. What fking planet does she think she is on when in charge of my daughter !!!!

Anyway, have I done/am doing the right thing??

Have googled for guidelines to quote at them but unsure if schools are regulated in the same way for 16+ ?? Considering she is OK should I take this forward formally/Should I be happy with a verbal apology

Thoughts/Suggestions??

No pics!!

[mattnunn]

Errr... You miss the bus, it's your fault, 17 is old enough to look after yourself. Get over it.

[cal216610]

Have you watched Taken with liam neeson?, i enjoyed it as well.
A simple punch to the temple of the tutor my get him interested in your complaint.
Other than that, glad all is well in the end.

[ZOLLAR]

ribenavrs said:

Thoughts/Suggestions??

ribenavrs said:

No pics!!

Oh, nevermind.








On a serious note as a parent I would be absolutely fuming if my child was left behind regardless of age, they still have a duty of care towards their students and shouldn't be shirking important responsibilities (head count, checking everyone has checked out of their rooms etc) to students.

[NiceCupOfTea]

Definitely should have been a headcount, no excuse. As far as I am aware, the fact that your daughter is 16 has no bearing. The senior member of staff is in loco parentis and should take full responsibility.

Was your daughter late for the coach? (Not that this affects it IMHO). Go carefully with the "abruptness" - you only have your daughter's stressed word for it.

ETA - when touring with an orchestra (safe to say that the musicians are all responsible(ish) adults) the orchestral manager still does a headcount on the coach.

Edited by NiceCupOfTea on Thursday 2nd February 12:31

[Magic919]

There are generally two sides to any story. I'd just chalk it up to experience. She'll learn from it and no harm was done. At that age they can generally walk a mile unaided. See how you feel once you've calmed down.

[Asgardian]

mattnunn said:

Errr... You miss the bus, it's your fault, 17 is old enough to look after yourself. Get over it.

+1

She won't be late for it again on the trip will she...

...Also it sounds as though you may not be getting the full story, consider that at 17 she may have got wasted hence not getting up on time and misding the bus, obviously that would have been left out of the story though.

[KB_S1]

This happened to my GF when she was 15 (I think, didn't know her then) on school trip to Disney Paris.
Her and another girl were left at a French motorway service station after a toilet/food stop.

Not good trip organisation, regardless of age groups.
Good that your daughter has shown she can at least think reasonably clearly and deal with a situation.

[P-Jay]

mattnunn said:

Errr... You miss the bus, it's your fault, 17 is old enough to look after yourself. Get over it.

Don't agree with this. She's a minor, and the college has a clear duty of care - would you like the idea of your 17 year old kid travelling to mainland Europe alone?

Personally I'd be incandescent with rage!

I’d demand a meeting with the tutor and their line-manager. You wont ‘get’ anything out of it over-and-above an apology so you might as well give them a proper dressing down.

[gtdc]

Presumably they were late? (can't imagaine anyone managing to get a busload of teenagers away early). Their experience will probably cure them of being late again.

Having said that, it's pretty piss poor from the organisers. Even if they were sick to death of getting dumb teenagers organised it's still their job and they've dropped a bk. Be interested to hear how the school try and explain the bk.

[Tyre Smoke]

NiceCupOfTea said:

Definitely should have been a headcount, no excuse. As far as I am aware, the fact that your daughter is 16 has no bearing. The senior member of staff is in loco parentis and should take full responsibility.

Was your daughter late for the coach? (Not that this affects it IMHO). Go carefully with the "abruptness" - you only have your daughter's stressed word for it.

ETA - when touring with an orchestra (safe to say that the musicians are all responsible(ish) adults) the orchestral manager still does a headcount on the coach.

Edited by NiceCupOfTea on Thursday 2nd February 12:31

This.

Certainly a 17yo should have more of a sense of responsibility than a 7yo, but the college are responsible for their care. It is whoever is in charge on the trip to ensure the overall safety of their charges.

Tread carefully, but don't let it go with a verbal apology. Would you have accepted that if she had been beaten or worse, raped? Of course not. The fact that it didn't happen is relatively immaterial.

[sherbert90]

mattnunn said:

Errr... You miss the bus, it's your fault, 17 is old enough to look after yourself. Get over it.

So what's the excuse for the tutor not having a quick head count?

Perhaps approaching 17 is the age you start to mature, but at that age you are unlikely to have been in a foreign country without a parent.

[digger_R]

She's was in Brussels not Beirut

[mackay45]

Tyre Smoke said:

This.

Certainly a 17yo should have more of a sense of responsibility than a 7yo, but the college are responsible for their care. It is whoever is in charge on the trip to ensure the overall safety of their charges.

Tread carefully, but don't let it go with a verbal apology. Would you have accepted that if she had been beaten or worse, raped? Of course not. The fact that it didn't happen is relatively immaterial.

Happens to me every time I miss the bus

Must stop hitting the snooze button!

[Tyre Smoke]

digger_R said:

She's was in Brussels not Beirut

So, no rapists/druggies/thieves in Belgium then?

[gtdc]

Tyre Smoke said:

digger_R said:

She's was in Brussels not Beirut

So, no rapists/druggies/thieves in Belgium then?

It was Bruges. She was in most danger of being adopted by middle class tourists.

[NiceCupOfTea]

digger_R said:

She's was in Brussels not Beirut

Not the point. They are responsible and no head count is unacceptable.

[DWS]

Whatever the reason she missed the bus whoever is "in Charge" should be headcounting on/off the buss and at any time when the party leaves/arrives at any destination. As has been said the tutors are in loco parentis. Someone need a good b*******g.

IF it was me I'd be wanting a full explanation and apology from the school.

[Gargamel]

P-Jay said:

Don't agree with this. She's a minor, and the college has a clear duty of care - would you like the idea of your 17 year old kid travelling to mainland Europe alone?

Personally I'd be incandescent with rage!

I’d demand a meeting with the tutor and their line-manager. You wont ‘get’ anything out of it over-and-above an apology so you might as well give them a proper dressing down.

At 17 though many many teenagers go off inter-railing round Europe for the summer, I know I did.

Unfortunate incident, but I expect you will laugh about it later.

[mattnunn]

sherbert90 said:

mattnunn said:

Errr... You miss the bus, it's your fault, 17 is old enough to look after yourself. Get over it.

So what's the excuse for the tutor not having a quick head count?

Perhaps approaching 17 is the age you start to mature, but at that age you are unlikely to have been in a foreign country without a parent.

In a few months time she'll begging to go to Ayia Napa to do unspeakable things to dodgy Spanish barmen whilst tanked up on more alcohol than her poor father can drink in a week.

Sorry for the reality check.

FWIW I spent my summer holiday when I was 17 driving around Eastern Europe in a vain attempt to get to Moscow, I got arrested in Kaliningrad and had the car impounded, and I had a job to go back to.