Login | Register
SearchMy Stuff
My ProfileMy PreferencesMy Mates RSS Feed
1
3 4 5
Reply to Topic
Author Discussion

steeveeboy

Original Poster:

663 posts

61 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
Just spoken to her mother, went to collect my car where her dad calmly said if you come near my house youll be six foot under! Apparently shes gone out which is why the car wasnt there, my mums watching the baby so im gonna grab a bit of shut-eye and then see whats what!

Adenauer

13,691 posts

124 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
steeveeboy said:
Just spoken to her mother, went to collect my car where her dad calmly said if you come near my house youll be six foot under! Apparently shes gone out which is why the car wasnt there, my mums watching the baby so im gonna grab a bit of shut-eye and then see whats what!
WTF?

SystemParanoia

9,696 posts

86 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
jaw the prick

phil1979

2,574 posts

103 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
steeveeboy said:
Just spoken to her mother, went to collect my car where her dad calmly said if you come near my house youll be six foot under! Apparently shes gone out which is why the car wasnt there, my mums watching the baby so im gonna grab a bit of shut-eye and then see whats what!
That's harsh. Everytime we've had probs, its been the folks that have defused situations, like a proper family should - they see the bigger picture, and understand the stresses of a newborn on a relationship. Sounds like her side of the family are a little pie-key, which is going to make things really tricky for you. In-laws and politics are hard enough as it is, let alone when a grandfather who should know better is acting like an overprotective .

ILoveMondeo

8,801 posts

114 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
stuartmmcfc said:
zetec said:
I would try and talk to her Mother, this sounds alot like Post Natal Depression , she could be in need of some help?
Unfortunately I have to agree. It's going to take some time. Good luck.
Also agreed, speak to the mother, try and speak with her. Do some research on the Internet, there are crisis lines and the like for exactly this stuff. You will find lists of symptoms and be able to tick off loads of them.


DONT make it an accusatory rant if you do speak to her. It's not her fault. nor is it rare, anywhere up to 25% of women get it in one way, shape or form.








Advertisement

Adenauer

13,691 posts

124 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
I'm not sure that we're getting the full story here scratchchin

McMacro

2,788 posts

45 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
Adenauer said:
I'm not sure that we're getting the full story here scratchchin
Just thinking the same.

Big Fat Fatty

3,245 posts

44 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
This should shirley be in the "Dealing with the Mental" thread!!

The question you need to ask yourself is do you actually want to see her again now she's shown you her true colours? If she bolts at the first sign of trouble is she worth breaking your neck for?

It's especially hard with a new born baby in the middle of it all, whatever the inlaws say it's your child too, you have the right to see him/her. Plus stealing your car wasn't the smartest move she could've made.

Streps

2,382 posts

54 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
You mentioned she has been going through your phone and stuff..
Perhaps she has got it into her head you have been doing something..
Would explain the dad threatening you.. rolleyes

Women and Hormones can do scary things.
Best of luck.

bigandclever

7,239 posts

126 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
zetec said:
I would try and talk to her Mother, this sounds alot like Post Natal Depression , she could be in need of some help?
Postnatal depression affects men too.

Du1point8

16,883 posts

80 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
Arguments about as you say silly little things, etc...

Yet her father says that to you... Fess up and maybe explain what you did as that aint normal, that don't sound like a silly argument to have a reaction like that off her father.

CedGTV

2,454 posts

142 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
bigandclever said:
zetec said:
I would try and talk to her Mother, this sounds alot like Post Natal Depression , she could be in need of some help?
Postnatal depression affects men too.
My doctor seemed to think that I suffered from Post traumatic stress disorder after my little'un was born.

Manifested itself as anger.(not around the boy though)

My wife had a rough pregnancy, and I took it upon myself to to do too much and cover every base and pretty much fell apart after he was born.

Get help and good luck.

Happy82

6,435 posts

57 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
Adenauer said:
I'm not sure that we're getting the full story here scratchchin
yes

OP, apply to this

http://www.itv.com/jeremykyle/




But on a serious note, if you're giving us the full story, she sounds like she has gone a bit mental after the birth and it appears that her parents are not interested in helping the two of you sort the issue. Suggest that you both go to get some parental advice (rather than just suggesting that she goes, otherwise she'll accuse you of accusing her of the mental....the mental works that way hehe ) to try and sort things out, you'll find that after a few months that things will go a lot more smoothly and you probably just need some advice on parenting as without sounding offensive, you're both fairly young to be parents and probably not fully equipped mentally to handle a screaming baby smile

Jimmy No Hands

2,624 posts

44 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
Bit childish of her Father. But then again, he'll have been itching for an opportunity to establish his dominance and make himself feel better, bless him. My OH is 19 (I'm 23) and she can barely take car of the dog on her own so I can't imagine the stress involved in bringing up a little one.


Just stay calm, and good luck.


Adenauer

13,691 posts

124 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
That's the trouble with the yoof of today, dropping 'e's left right and centre, isn't it, Jimmy?

Reardy Mister

11,340 posts

110 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
What you need to do is get and talk to other people, ones with 3 kids. They will help you realise that everyone encounters much the same problems as you have. There is nothing new under the sun. Noone really knows how they coped and its hard for everyone. Once you realise your problems are shared by everyone else who thought a kid would be all flash push chairs and trips to baby GAP, the pair of you wont feel like youre doing a st job and dont know what youre doing. Which is what pretty much everyone worries about.

Keyser Soze

14,449 posts

79 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
Odd reaction from her father

Either she has been spinning him a yarn or you arent being truthful to us with all the facts


monthefish

18,172 posts

119 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
JungleJim said:
AlVal said:
logic says that when she calms down, won't take her long to realise the baby needs its two parents, and she'll start making efforts to reconcile. Guess the problem here is applying assumptions of logic..

On another note, can any of you give some indication of why it's stressful after a baby? I'm about to have first one in 3 months, and I guess I should be prepared - what is it that causes it?
Lack of sleep, mostly. Bone crushing, repetitious daily lack of sleep for months after the baby is born - they don't know to sleep at night, why should they, you have to train them to do it. But that means you'll be up at all hours of the night and getting the baby off to bed in the evening is a long and drawn out process. Many of your dinners will go cold!

The baby screaming at the top of its lungs and nothing will placate it, and of course it can't tell you why its screaming. At 2am. Then 3am. Then 4am.

The constant worry: is the baby too hot, is it too cold, have we fed it enough, not enough. Endless sterilising. Getting up in the night to feed the baby. Not having a moment to yourself all day.

The worry that you now have a dependent, so financial pressures, reduced income maybe depending on your companies maternity/paternity arrangements.

Get through the first 4-6 months and you're in the land of milk and honey with a baby that can interact, laugh and brighten your life in ways that now, in your pre-baby life, you can't even begin to imagine. It truly is wonderful.

But mostly don't underestimate the torturous effect that lack of sleep will have on your psyche in the first 2 months or so, and the strain that it will place on you and your partner.
Good post JungleJim.

OP - if you can salvage the situation this time, next time just bite your tongue no matter how unreasonable the situaion - perspective will be being skewed as a result of all of the above.

I suggest that you offer the olive branch this time (no matter who was in the wrong).

Jimmy No Hands

2,624 posts

44 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
Adenauer said:
That's the trouble with the yoof of today, dropping 'e's left right and centre, isn't it, Jimmy?
Not by any means saying I'm any more mature at 23 mind. wobble

Mrs OwenK

543 posts

49 months

[news] 
Wednesday 14th March 2012 quote quote all
It can be bloody hard having children, I had both mine young and suffered PND with my youngest. If my husband wasn't the calmest man I know I would have been useless, I am most definately a runner not a fighter. PM me if you/she wants to talk.
1
3 4 5
Reply to Topic