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aclivity
Original Poster
3,540 posts
57 months
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My 8 year old son is being bullied - low level stuff, taunts and being ganged up on when playing games on the playground.
Today it has been escalated, though - some of the boys in his class pulled his shorts & underpants down in the middle of the class at the start of PE. The teacher did not see, and my son did not tell anybody as he doesn't like causing trouble.
We have already spoken to the school, about the ganging up and the taunting over the last few months - it originally started in December, one boy in particular having a go at him about his lack of skill at football, and I thought it had been addressed by the school. Then over the last couple of weeks it's come back again.
I think this last action raises the stakes a little - is it over reacting to call it an assualt? I want to make sure the school is understands just how important the situation is to me.
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mugs56
34 posts
62 months
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Jesus wept you are not over reacting...these kids need excluding...your poor boy.
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elanfan
1,106 posts
96 months
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Your boy must be keeping a lot inside and I'll bet he is having a worse time at school than you realise. Time to have a quiet word with his class teacher after school and tell them you will also be seeking a meeting with the School head. When you get to that meeting say that if there is a single recurrence you will escalate to the Governors.
alternatively drop the biggest lad in Year 6 a tenner to 'have a word with the bully'.
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toxicated
713 posts
82 months
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Put it in writing to the headmaster. Write objectively and don't be overly emotional. Describe the impact it has on your boy, ask for a copy of their anti-bullying policy and request a meeting with the headmaster and his teacher to explain their findings once they have investigated and what actions they plan to take.
eta: and I'm sure you are, but give him a lot of emotional support
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Fas1975
567 posts
33 months
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For the love of anything you believe in, nip this in the bud. I was bullied from 13-17, couldn't tell anyone, couldn't do anything, from a grade A student to scraping 4 GCSE's.
Get the teachers involved, if it still happens, affirmative action. Leave the school.
It's the one thing I have sworn on graves will never let happen to my children
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Mobile Chicane
14,021 posts
81 months
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I wouldn't 'write a letter', I'd get in their damn faces about it.
See the head teacher, ASAP.
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Hyde
203 posts
17 months
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Thats horrible your poor son  Do you know the kids causing the problems for your son? If so you could go and have a polite chat to their parents, informing them of their kids actions.
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brickwall
1,372 posts
79 months
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Clearly unacceptable behaviour tha needs to be sorted ASAP. The school should be on top of it, and if they're not you should escalate it until they are.
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mugs56
34 posts
62 months
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Do you realize that some parents would have called the police over this ? This happened to my 13 yr old at football training and it upset me but teenagers will be teenagers but age8 years old and at school....no.
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aclivity
Original Poster
3,540 posts
57 months
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mugs56 said: Jesus wept you are not over reacting...these kids need excluding...your poor boy. Not sure if serious? elanfan said: Your boy must be keeping a lot inside and I'll bet he is having a worse time at school than you realise. Time to have a quiet word with his class teacher after school and tell them you will also be seeking a meeting with the School head. When you get to that meeting say that if there is a single recurrence you will escalate to the Governors. Herein lies one of my problems. I am deputy chair of the board of governors. I even signed off the anti bullying policy. There is something of an irony in that I guess. I'm unable to go into the school this week because of work commitments but I've asked my wife to go in and see the head. I am not sure if she should go in there with a complaint about an assault, or just to talk about some high jinks? My son is the second youngest is his class, and is probably also the smallest. He's not really into football, prefers reading and also playing on the computer rather than being an outdoorsy type. He is also probably a little sensitive soul, which obviously doesn't help. I am fairly certain he is keeping some things bottled up, but he doesn't want to cause trouble with his class mates. The reason I am certain is a couple of things he has said - firstly that he told us that he asks his teacher if he can stay in and do some jobs for her at lunchtime, so he wouldn't have to go out. Secondly he got quite upset last week and asked his mum why they picked on him all the time ... and should he just ask to be moved to a different school? He's 8 years old. 8 year olds shouldn't feel that way.
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littlegreenfairy
9,361 posts
90 months
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Totally agree this needs sorting out ASAP. School is hard enough without being utterly miserable - he still has 10 years left and it's important to enjoy a childhood.
I hated school and was so glad to leave -now I just think about all those wasted carefree years.
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mugs56
34 posts
62 months
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OP You`re not sure if Im serious ? FFS Im serious, now sod work and sort this out for your child.Im not sure you`re serious ? You sound far too accepting of this.
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jules_s
1,363 posts
102 months
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aclivity said: Herein lies one of my problems. I am deputy chair of the board of governors. I even signed off the anti bullying policy. There is something of an irony in that I guess.
I'm unable to go into the school this week because of work commitments but I've asked my wife to go in and see the head. I am not sure if she should go in there with a complaint about an assault, or just to talk about some high jinks?
My son is the second youngest is his class, and is probably also the smallest. He's not really into football, prefers reading and also playing on the computer rather than being an outdoorsy type. He is also probably a little sensitive soul, which obviously doesn't help.
I am fairly certain he is keeping some things bottled up, but he doesn't want to cause trouble with his class mates. The reason I am certain is a couple of things he has said - firstly that he told us that he asks his teacher if he can stay in and do some jobs for her at lunchtime, so he wouldn't have to go out. Secondly he got quite upset last week and asked his mum why they picked on him all the time ... and should he just ask to be moved to a different school?
He's 8 years old. 8 year olds shouldn't feel that way. I'm going to go there, not wishing to but it has to be said I guess? Bullys prey on the weak. I'm not wishing to be judgemental, but that would appear the way your son is coming across. Helping teacher on the lunchtime as opposed to playing with the rest of the kids was social suicide in the playground in my days. It may not help if the kids know you are on the board of gov's? No offence meant in the above
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hollydog
909 posts
61 months
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Get him involved in some kind of martial arts or boxing or something to build his confidence. Bullies seem pick on shy kids and kids that are not confident .I not saying its ok to fight but he would be feel better if he could look after his self. Wish my parents would have done this with me. Bulling has effected my hole life. So do as much as you can to sort it asap.Good luck .
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Willy Nilly
2,889 posts
36 months
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Would the little fella like martial arts?
He'd only need to deck one of them
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66comanche
2,369 posts
28 months
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Definitely needs the schools attention before it worsens and affects him long term.
Another side of the coin might be working on his confidence and getting him involved in some more outdoorsy stuff - you mention reading and being on the computer but would be good if you could see if he can be interested in some other sport/fishing/maybe even low key martial arts (I did judo when young, was great), climbing, cycling, even scouts?
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Waynester
4,488 posts
119 months
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So sorry to hear this about your lad. As a parent it is so easy to get very protective & emotional, but you are going about it the right way. Keep it calm but...insist in direct action.
Yes, kids will be kids..but that was indeed an assault & should be dealt with immediately! Which hopefully will be the case as the majority of schools take bullying seriously.
I have a 12 year old son & he was bullied by a couple of lads repeatedly, but when we complained we were told it would be dealt with. It was not!
Turned out that all they did was keep him indoors at breaktimes & lunch!
So he sat alone for weeks, I was bloody furious so.. we moved my son to another school & all is much better 2 years on.
As I did Karate I also got my son involved, which after 2 years had him graded 3rd Kyu brown belt. I'm not condoning violence or with him to use like some crazy Ninja kid, no... I'm just a little assured at 12 y/o he can help himself if ever needed.
Good luck, bullies are bloody cowards...who usually 'hunt' in packs (so brave), & single out small, quiet & nice sensitive kids.
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Justin Cyder
6,146 posts
18 months
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Bullies are cowards by definition. They stack the odds to win. In my experience, turning on a bully is the most effective way to end it. Your boy is your boy & you're best placed to judge, but if it were mine - and once or twice in the past, it was me - I'd egg him on to fight back. Even if he goes down, getting one on the other kid will put an end to it. They'll move on to a softer target.
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jules_s
1,363 posts
102 months
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Willy Nilly said: Would the little fella like martial arts?
He'd only need to deck one of them As I posted above, that was what I was politely trying to suggest. I don't condone violence to cure a violent/bad situation but if the Op's son had smacked the kid who pulled his pants down I think the problem would go away PDQ I didn't post as such because the OP is on the board of governers, and if he helped prepare the anti bullying policy it puts the OP in a somewhat awkward postion if he suggests his son resorts to violence
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jason s4
1,611 posts
39 months
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Mobile Chicane said: I wouldn't 'write a letter', I'd get in their damn faces about it.
See the head teacher, ASAP. Agreed.
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