Match.com (Volume 5)

[NRS]

Ki3r said:

smack said:

Simply, yes...

If someone with BP doesn't want to help themselves, there is nothing you can do. Just walk away, as it will cost you happiness, sanity, and time you can't get back.

That massively. I guess I thought I could help her. I can't. Only she can.

I'll miss her of course, she was my best friend, I was able to tell her anything, and likewise her (although I'm doubting that a bit now). I'll always love her and her daughter, and miss them both dearly, but, this is the best thing. I didn't apply for a couple of jobs I wished I had due to her.

It's a bit different from just "wanting to help themself" though. Depending how bad it is there may be periods where they go through that it doesn't matter if they try and not do stuff. That's where the medicine comes in, and other people helping to make sure they stay on it (and not go off it because "they're ok" again). But I agree about it being very difficult in a relationship, as Ki3r has seen. Sadly been in one, where I am the BP person. She was an angel with the amount she helped/ put up with (was before/ at start of diagnosis) but it was just too much for her.

I should be seeing the girl I talked about a few weeks ago next weekend again, so will see how that goes. Might take the car instead of the boat though,

[Mobile Chicane]

NRS said:

Ki3r said:

smack said:

Simply, yes...

If someone with BP doesn't want to help themselves, there is nothing you can do. Just walk away, as it will cost you happiness, sanity, and time you can't get back.

That massively. I guess I thought I could help her. I can't. Only she can.

I'll miss her of course, she was my best friend, I was able to tell her anything, and likewise her (although I'm doubting that a bit now). I'll always love her and her daughter, and miss them both dearly, but, this is the best thing. I didn't apply for a couple of jobs I wished I had due to her.

It's a bit different from just "wanting to help themself" though. Depending how bad it is there may be periods where they go through that it doesn't matter if they try and not do stuff. That's where the medicine comes in, and other people helping to make sure they stay on it (and not go off it because "they're ok" again). But I agree about it being very difficult in a relationship, as Ki3r has seen. Sadly been in one, where I am the BP person. She was an angel with the amount she helped/ put up with (was before/ at start of diagnosis) but it was just too much for her.

I should be seeing the girl I talked about a few weeks ago next weekend again, so will see how that goes. Might take the car instead of the boat though,

QED.

For any BP individual, it's always always about them. I feel sorry for anyone who gets involved with one, truly I do.

I so wish they could stick to having relationships with one another, and save the rest of us the ag.

[NRS]

Mobile Chicane said:

QED.

For any BP individual, it's always always about them. I feel sorry for anyone who gets involved with one, truly I do.

I so wish they could stick to having relationships with one another, and save the rest of us the ag.

I actually wondered that, since you would understand each other more. Then I realised it's not the understanding, so it'd just be even worse since you'd trigger each other's swings!

[Condi]

Right, after offering advice about all sorts now its my turn to have a mind dump and see if someone can come up with any ideas....

Basically, I need to meet people! Sounds a bit desperate like that, but hear me out;

About 5 years ago I had a really good group of mates. We would all go out most weekends, and if anyone wanted to go to a gig or concert then we would all go along and as a result had a really good social life. In the last 2 years or so that all seems to have gone downhill. One lad got married and had a kid, another moved over 400 miles away to Scotland, one now lives in London and another one bought a house into which he is investing all his cash. Im pretty much the only single one left, and Im pretty much the only one with enough disposable income to do all the stuff we used to do. (Not saying Im rich, but no house, no gf, etc). As a result going to concerts is generally out, going to bars is almost certainly out; we do go the pub most weeks but that's as far as we get. At 25, my social life can be better I think! I play rugby, go the gym, ride motorbikes, and are pretty outgoing. Meeting 'people' isnt a problem per say. Part of it is we had such a close group of friends I've not bothered, not had to, go out and find new friends in the last few years. I can also be pretty cold to new people, which probably doesnt help!

So what does this have to do with the Match thread? Well, in the last week Ive been told Im 'a childish average bloke with commitment issues' an ex turned me down for something casual to go and buy a cat, which was probably a new low (I've since learnt she has a new bloke however) and I saw 'the one who go away' all loved up with her bf and looking pretty fantastic! Hence my interest in expanding my circle of friends, in the hope of meeting someone!

Internet dating is definitely out. Spending hours talking to a screen without knowing the person doesnt interest me. Meeting real people would be far better!

Edited by Condi on Tuesday 6th May 19:23

[Council Baby]

Most Internet dating is real people these days. A few messages and organise to meet. I've certainly never spent hours/days at it. Just a browse whilst travelling from place to place and shoot off a message where necessary.

It's more of an effort to make friends and try to sleep with their sisters/cousins than it is online dating.

[ferrisbueller]

Condi said:

NEXT fkING JANUARY!! NEXT JANUARY!!



Hes an idiot.

[Tiggsy]

Condi said:

Internet dating is definitely out. Spending hours talking to a screen without knowing the person doesnt interest me. Meeting real people would be far better!

Edited by Condi on Tuesday 6th May 19:23

thats not how it works....I joined tinder and within 5 mins was done with all the set up I ever needed....another 10 mins and I had matches.....next day I had the first of my tinder dates. It was that easy...for an old 40 year old that last dated in 1993!

[croyde]

Bloody hell I have had no luck with Tinder despite tons of matches.

[clonmult]

croyde said:

Bloody hell I have had no luck with Tinder despite tons of matches.

Plenty of matches here too, but Tinder tends to take "liberties" with location. Set whatever radius to work on, and the actual radius is gives is that plus some random number. Start chatting, then realise that instead of being within the 30 mile radius that I've set, she's actually 100 miles away ... if I'm after a shag, I have a friend to turn to for such occasions. No need to travel more than 5 miles.

I'm going to ignore on line dating for a while, just chill, spend the weekends with my kids or out on long bike rides and just generally relax.

[NRS]

olly22n said:

I think the radius is pretty good, but if you open the app whilst not at home it will skew your results, likewise if they have moved around the country.

I'm on holiday his week with my tinder girl, and she ended up living 190 feet from my front door...!

Yes, I often see air stewdesses appearing for a short time then disappearing off to be 600 miles away shortly after for example. I've also noticed once or twice at the start it doesn't always register your GPS location correctly and so the first few people can be a long distance away. I generally can't get tinder to work though - much better at the internet sites. However been talking to a student who studies a long distance away on it, but she will be back for summer. Sounds like we'll met up at some point, but you never know - a lot of the time people just vanish.

[clonmult]

NRS said:

olly22n said:

I think the radius is pretty good, but if you open the app whilst not at home it will skew your results, likewise if they have moved around the country.

I'm on holiday his week with my tinder girl, and she ended up living 190 feet from my front door...!

Yes, I often see air stewdesses appearing for a short time then disappearing off to be 600 miles away shortly after for example. I've also noticed once or twice at the start it doesn't always register your GPS location correctly and so the first few people can be a long distance away. I generally can't get tinder to work though - much better at the internet sites. However been talking to a student who studies a long distance away on it, but she will be back for summer. Sounds like we'll met up at some point, but you never know - a lot of the time people just vanish.

I've had similar with a couple of stewardesses, said they were about to head off somewhere and hey presto over the next few days they were 600, 1000, etc. miles away.

But just had one pop up who was "19km" away. She's in Stafford. Hasn't ever been within 20 miles of where I am (Basingstoke). Which is typical of the "service".

[Foliage]

croyde said:

Bloody hell I have had no luck with Tinder despite tons of matches.

Same, went on a "date" last week, she'd made no effort, was wearing no make up which made her look like she was in her 40s (she was mid 30s) and was dressed terribly (t-shirt and jeans to a restaurant). I thought she was after a free feed, but she paid for the whole meal. Shortest date ever at 21minutes... Apparently she has been on a lot of dates, and is looking for 'a spark'.

Ive talked to quite a few women on it, but they all seem to have a screw loose, I even had one delightful young lady who was down the pub and was just using it as a way to insult people, she didn't seem very happy when I trolled her hard back and brought up her mother.

I have got a nice lady i've been texting but its not going to go anywhere, i'm just gonna end up with another female friend...

I've deleted tinder now. I'm just at a loss as to how many of these women are utter fkwits and don't understand the very basics of surviving in the grown up world.

Oh and on the range thing, its badly broken, I was getting matches in Portugal and Spain but i'm no where near there.

Im not sure what to do next, in the past ive tried various dating sites even some that you pay to use, I just end up getting messages insulting the way I look & how dare I even consider messaging them, or I get the complete loons going on about pseudoscience and how my views match theirs... no entirely sure how that works.

Im now thinking its definitely me that is a complete oddball.

Edited by Foliage on Wednesday 7th May 09:54

[Tiggsy]

i must have been very lucky.

I chatted with about 20 women beyond "hi", chatted with about 10 for more than a day or so, had dates with most of them that went well (one nutter but that was fun) and now off on holiday with the one who stuck (and oddly.....she was the one I thought would be fun and go nowhere as she was just using it for fun and dint want anything more - next thing I know she's deleting the app and her 10 zillion matches and buying new bikinis for Mexico!)

[Thankyou4calling]

Tiggsy said:

i must have been very lucky.

I chatted with about 20 women beyond "hi", chatted with about 10 for more than a day or so, had dates with most of them that went well (one nutter but that was fun) and now off on holiday with the one who stuck (and oddly.....she was the one I thought would be fun and go nowhere as she was just using it for fun and dint want anything more - next thing I know she's deleting the app and her 10 zillion matches and buying new bikinis for Mexico!)

Sounds good

http://youtu.be/Oai1V7kaFBk

[Thankyou4calling]

Foliage said:

Same, went on a "date" last week, she'd made no effort, was wearing no make up which made her look like she was in her 40s (she was mid 30s) and was dressed terribly (t-shirt and jeans to a restaurant). I thought she was after a free feed, but she paid for the whole meal. Shortest date ever at 21minutes... Apparently she has been on a lot of dates, and is looking for 'a spark'.

Ive talked to quite a few women on it, but they all seem to have a screw loose, I even had one delightful young lady who was down the pub and was just using it as a way to insult people, she didn't seem very happy when I trolled her hard back and brought up her mother.

I have got a nice lady i've been texting but its not going to go anywhere, i'm just gonna end up with another female friend...

I've deleted tinder now. I'm just at a loss as to how many of these women are utter fkwits and don't understand the very basics of surviving in the grown up world.

Oh and on the range thing, its badly broken, I was getting matches in Portugal and Spain but i'm no where near there.

Im not sure what to do next, in the past ive tried various dating sites even some that you pay to use, I just end up getting messages insulting the way I look & how dare I even consider messaging them, or I get the complete loons going on about pseudoscience and how my views match theirs... no entirely sure how that works.

Im now thinking its definitely me that is a complete oddball.

Edited by Foliage on Wednesday 7th May 09:54

Had a woman turn up for a date wearing Crocs once! Jesus!

I accept not all are into high maintenance personal grooming (I am) but Crocs

[IanMorewood]

Thankyou4calling said:

Had a woman turn up for a date wearing Crocs once! Jesus!

I accept not all are into high maintenance personal grooming (I am) but Crocs

Perhaps she worked in a hospital as a doctor I seem to see lots of surgical types wandering about in scrubs and crocs. Hence she could have been ultra filth.

[Thankyou4calling]

IanMorewood said:

Perhaps she worked in a hospital as a doctor I seem to see lots of surgical types wandering about in scrubs and crocs. Hence she could have been ultra filth.

Never found out where she worked and TBH if Crocs were here work attire I'd expect her to change before a date in the same way if I were a decorator I wouldn't turn up in overalls. For me, making an effort is part of the game and I wouldn't consider somebody who didn't.

[croyde]

Foliage said:

Same, went on a "date" last week, she'd made no effort, was wearing no make up which made her look like she was in her 40s (she was mid 30s) and was dressed terribly (t-shirt and jeans to a restaurant). I thought she was after a free feed, but she paid for the whole meal. Shortest date ever at 21minutes... Apparently she has been on a lot of dates, and is looking for 'a spark'.

Ive talked to quite a few women on it, but they all seem to have a screw loose, I even had one delightful young lady who was down the pub and was just using it as a way to insult people, she didn't seem very happy when I trolled her hard back and brought up her mother.

I have got a nice lady i've been texting but its not going to go anywhere, i'm just gonna end up with another female friend...

I've deleted tinder now. I'm just at a loss as to how many of these women are utter fkwits and don't understand the very basics of surviving in the grown up world.

Oh and on the range thing, its badly broken, I was getting matches in Portugal and Spain but i'm no where near there.

Im not sure what to do next, in the past ive tried various dating sites even some that you pay to use, I just end up getting messages insulting the way I look & how dare I even consider messaging them, or I get the complete loons going on about pseudoscience and how my views match theirs... no entirely sure how that works.

Im now thinking its definitely me that is a complete oddball.

Edited by Foliage on Wednesday 7th May 09:54

I just wondering if the whole internet thing has belittled common courtesy and being polite. The few women I actually chat to (text) can seem really nice and in to you and then suddenly disappear. I'm actually finding this happening in 'real life'

[Tiggsy]

croyde said:

Foliage said:

Same, went on a "date" last week, she'd made no effort, was wearing no make up which made her look like she was in her 40s (she was mid 30s) and was dressed terribly (t-shirt and jeans to a restaurant). I thought she was after a free feed, but she paid for the whole meal. Shortest date ever at 21minutes... Apparently she has been on a lot of dates, and is looking for 'a spark'.

Ive talked to quite a few women on it, but they all seem to have a screw loose, I even had one delightful young lady who was down the pub and was just using it as a way to insult people, she didn't seem very happy when I trolled her hard back and brought up her mother.

I have got a nice lady i've been texting but its not going to go anywhere, i'm just gonna end up with another female friend...

I've deleted tinder now. I'm just at a loss as to how many of these women are utter fkwits and don't understand the very basics of surviving in the grown up world.

Oh and on the range thing, its badly broken, I was getting matches in Portugal and Spain but i'm no where near there.

Im not sure what to do next, in the past ive tried various dating sites even some that you pay to use, I just end up getting messages insulting the way I look & how dare I even consider messaging them, or I get the complete loons going on about pseudoscience and how my views match theirs... no entirely sure how that works.

Im now thinking its definitely me that is a complete oddball.

Edited by Foliage on Wednesday 7th May 09:54

I just wondering if the whole internet thing has belittled common courtesy and being polite. The few women I actually chat to (text) can seem really nice and in to you and then suddenly disappear. I'm actually finding this happening in 'real life'

They find someone else!

I had similar thoughts about the few women I was still chatting with as I started seeing one more and more - I didnt want to tell them "no" in case things didnt work out, but didnt want to chat when I was seeing someone new every night....so I went quiet. After a few weeks they were all but forgotten about. They were probably thinking "wheres he gone, what a dick"

[Mobile Chicane]

I think you just have to accept that internet dating is a bit like being a kid in a sweet shop. There's always another flavour to try.

Works both ways though.

I just think you need a thick skin and try not to take it too seriously.

Tinder, though? Never. Not in a million years. If internet dating in general reduces relationships to the level of a 'commodity', Tinder as far as I am concerned is scraping the bottom of a very deep barrel of vacuous depravity.