Match.com (Volume 5)

[GloverMart]

GloverMart said:

NRS said:

Sounds interesting,

GloverMart said:

Things still moving on nicely, exchanged lots of messages tonight on WhatsApp and she's very keen. Reckon that with a busy-ish weekend ahead, it'll be Sunday before we meet up.

How did it go? Hope you were able to finally meet!

I've managed to almost (or perhaps have) mucked things up with what seems like a really nice girl. Her profile has no pictures, but she sent me a message asking what I am like, and apologised for the lack of pictures as she got far to many unserious messages. She then gave her name on facebook to find pictures (which are very nice). I then replied joking saying I am an unserious guy (meaning joking around a lot) but she seemed to understand it as not looking for a serious relationship. Don't think it helped with the language translation issue, so will see how things go,

Agreed to meet up tonight but ex let me down again with looking after the kids. She genuinely doesn't know I'm off out dating but I'm never comfortable leaving the kids in the house alone at night so she's the main childcare option. POF girl is happy enough and being a parent herself, understands. Hoping for Thursday night now.

Edited by GloverMart on Tuesday 20th May 22:35

Had quite a hot exchange of messages after we were unable to meet on Tuesday night. Almost persuaded her to meet up close to home but she wasn't comfortable about going out that late at night. Sent a goodnight message which took 12 hours to be replied to (can WhatsApp messages get stuck in the system?) and since then, nothing. Nil, nada, nought, zero, zilch.

Onwards and upwards then. Rewrote my profile last night, uploaded some better pictures and got talking to a nice girl last night. Turns out she lives less than a mile from me which offers as many headaches as it does solve problems. Looks nice, has a good career and has an edge of cheekiness about her.

[LordGrover]

... no matter what her profile/she says she's still just the next in line. Queue up another couple or three, just in case. It's a numbers game, dude.

[Thankyou4calling]

GloverMart said:

Had quite a hot exchange of messages after we were unable to meet on Tuesday night. Almost persuaded her to meet up close to home but she wasn't comfortable about going out that late at night. Sent a goodnight message which took 12 hours to be replied to (can WhatsApp messages get stuck in the system?) and since then, nothing. Nil, nada, nought, zero, zilch.

Onwards and upwards then. Rewrote my profile last night, uploaded some better pictures and got talking to a nice girl last night. Turns out she lives less than a mile from me which offers as many headaches as it does solve problems. Looks nice, has a good career and has an edge of cheekiness about her.

I'm afraid after you didn't meet the first time you were never going to. I think you should decide how much of a priority a relationship is for you, put all in place to allow you to start one, be it money, child care, clothing, work/life balance and then and only then do it. Waiting more than a week for a date and then cancelling, trying again just won't work as there are plenty of men out there who will drive 100 miles at the drop of a hat on a promise of little or nothing. So wise up and decide. It's fine if you can't or won't make the necessary sacrifices but then you won't reap the reward.

[Zwolf]

KFC said:

Well I went out and met some bird in a hotel bar last night... she immediately said lets go to my room and have sex. All good at this point. But then she dropped the bombshell that her husband wants to watch. I thought fk it, I'm here now anyway so why not.

It was kinda putting me off my stroke when I looked in the mirror and I can see a fat speccy bloke sitting on a stool in the corner, pants round his ankles, cock in one hand and camera in the other.

Meh.

More fun when they join in too...

[Justayellowbadge]

Zwolf said:

KFC said:

Well I went out and met some bird in a hotel bar last night... she immediately said lets go to my room and have sex. All good at this point. But then she dropped the bombshell that her husband wants to watch. I thought fk it, I'm here now anyway so why not.

It was kinda putting me off my stroke when I looked in the mirror and I can see a fat speccy bloke sitting on a stool in the corner, pants round his ankles, cock in one hand and camera in the other.

Meh.

More fun when they join in too...

Perhaps, but a pain in the arse if you aren't expecting it.

[kowalski655]

Just use lots of lube

[GloverMart]

Thankyou4calling said:

GloverMart said:

Had quite a hot exchange of messages after we were unable to meet on Tuesday night. Almost persuaded her to meet up close to home but she wasn't comfortable about going out that late at night. Sent a goodnight message which took 12 hours to be replied to (can WhatsApp messages get stuck in the system?) and since then, nothing. Nil, nada, nought, zero, zilch.

Onwards and upwards then. Rewrote my profile last night, uploaded some better pictures and got talking to a nice girl last night. Turns out she lives less than a mile from me which offers as many headaches as it does solve problems. Looks nice, has a good career and has an edge of cheekiness about her.

I'm afraid after you didn't meet the first time you were never going to. I think you should decide how much of a priority a relationship is for you, put all in place to allow you to start one, be it money, child care, clothing, work/life balance and then and only then do it. Waiting more than a week for a date and then cancelling, trying again just won't work as there are plenty of men out there who will drive 100 miles at the drop of a hat on a promise of little or nothing. So wise up and decide. It's fine if you can't or won't make the necessary sacrifices but then you won't reap the reward.

Some good points there. She seemed (and said) that she wasn't in any hurry but I guess after being let down by me having to postpone the date, her already thin patience wore even thinner.

Grover - that's exactly what I'm doing now, not putting all the eggs in one basket. Might see you in the Crown with her one night...

[MrCarPark]

LordGrover said:

... no matter what her profile/she says she's still just the next in line. Queue up another couple or three, just in case. It's a numbers game, dude.

Certainly is.

For what it's worth, my success ratio at each stage has been roughly 3:1 (on OKC). So 3 messages (to 3 different people obv.) to get 1 reply, 3 replies to get 1 date, 3 dates to get 1 relationship. I'm now on my 3rd OKC relationship and it's looking like it has good potential, so I'm counting my chickens on this one .

[Thankyou4calling]

GloverMart said:

Some good points there. She seemed (and said) that she wasn't in any hurry but I guess after being let down by me having to postpone the date, her already thin patience wore even thinner.

Grover - that's exactly what I'm doing now, not putting all the eggs in one basket. Might see you in the Crown with her one night...

Thanks. I re read my post and if comes across a bit harsh perhaps which wasn't intended. I've had some experiences like you describe and in hindsight ( which I have a degree in ) made so many mistakes. I don't know your age but once your past mid thirties I see no harm in aiming to move on quickly in every way as you should both know what you are looking for. So pleasantries exchanged, filthy texts, a date and then see if there's chemistry. A week or ten days at most.

[GloverMart]

Thankyou4calling said:

GloverMart said:

Some good points there. She seemed (and said) that she wasn't in any hurry but I guess after being let down by me having to postpone the date, her already thin patience wore even thinner.

Grover - that's exactly what I'm doing now, not putting all the eggs in one basket. Might see you in the Crown with her one night...

Thanks. I re read my post and if comes across a bit harsh perhaps which wasn't intended. I've had some experiences like you describe and in hindsight ( which I have a degree in ) made so many mistakes. I don't know your age but once your past mid thirties I see no harm in aiming to move on quickly in every way as you should both know what you are looking for. So pleasantries exchanged, filthy texts, a date and then see if there's chemistry. A week or ten days at most.

Came across as realistic rather than harsh so no problem here....

Agree with the rest of your post. I'm 46 now so not planning to waste time on those that don't want me. Now and again, there might be someone who you aren't 100% sure of after the initial meeting. So meet them again, make the decision and deal with it.....

[mjb1]

GloverMart said:

Some good points there. She seemed (and said) that she wasn't in any hurry but I guess after being let down by me having to postpone the date, her already thin patience wore even thinner.

Grover - that's exactly what I'm doing now, not putting all the eggs in one basket. Might see you in the Crown with her one night...

You got away with postponing once with the ex wife reason, that was pushing your luck, second time was taking the piss. It gives the impression that she'll always be competing for your attention with your ex wife. It's baggage that nobody wants. Should have lied the first time (just say family emergency/childcare cancelled or similar), and not cancelled the second time. She was probably coming to the conclusion that either you were still married, or an armchair dater that would never get around to meeting up in person.

[Captain Answer]

GloverMart said:

Came across as realistic rather than harsh so no problem here....

Agree with the rest of your post. I'm 46 now so not planning to waste time on those that don't want me. Now and again, there might be someone who you aren't 100% sure of after the initial meeting. So meet them again, make the decision and deal with it.....

Your post here has revitalised what I was thinking about a girl I've been chatting to lately, she doesnt seem interested in meeting what so ever but I was starting to 2nd guess myself and thinking about talking to her for longer.

[GloverMart]

Captain Answer said:

GloverMart said:

Came across as realistic rather than harsh so no problem here....

Agree with the rest of your post. I'm 46 now so not planning to waste time on those that don't want me. Now and again, there might be someone who you aren't 100% sure of after the initial meeting. So meet them again, make the decision and deal with it.....

Your post here has revitalised what I was thinking about a girl I've been chatting to lately, she doesnt seem interested in meeting what so ever but I was starting to 2nd guess myself and thinking about talking to her for longer.

In cookery terms, you are the "spaghetti on toast" kept warm in the oven while she sorts herself out an exotic/expensive/more tasty dish elsewhere.

[Thankyou4calling]

GloverMart said:

In cookery terms, you are the "spaghetti on toast" kept warm in the oven while she sorts herself out an exotic/expensive/more tasty dish elsewhere.

Have you tried E Harmony? I met my current on there and found it fantastic. Get some decent pics and an interesting profile and if you go. They do plenty of offers so no need to pay full price but say you sign for three months ( often paid upfront) make sure to immediately cancel or they'll renew it automatically by which time you should be all loved up. Couple of other tips. The distance parameter is as the crow flies so 50 miles may equal 2 hours drive time. Don't bother with people who ask you 5 questions, just go straight to mail. The camera DOES lie. Send plenty of ice breakers but you'll get a better response, again, if you go straight to mail and be cheeky, polite and available. Give it a go :-)

[Mobile Chicane]

mjb1 said:

GloverMart said:

Some good points there. She seemed (and said) that she wasn't in any hurry but I guess after being let down by me having to postpone the date, her already thin patience wore even thinner.

Grover - that's exactly what I'm doing now, not putting all the eggs in one basket. Might see you in the Crown with her one night...

You got away with postponing once with the ex wife reason, that was pushing your luck, second time was taking the piss. It gives the impression that she'll always be competing for your attention with your ex wife. It's baggage that nobody wants. Should have lied the first time (just say family emergency/childcare cancelled or similar), and not cancelled the second time. She was probably coming to the conclusion that either you were still married, or an armchair dater that would never get around to meeting up in person.

This. Very much this.

If ever a credentials/new business meeting/job interview is cancelled more than once, I know it's BS.

[Disco You]

MrCarPark said:

Certainly is.

For what it's worth, my success ratio at each stage has been roughly 3:1 (on OKC). So 3 messages (to 3 different people obv.) to get 1 reply, 3 replies to get 1 date, 3 dates to get 1 relationship. I'm now on my 3rd OKC relationship and it's looking like it has good potential, so I'm counting my chickens on this one .

3:1 messages : replies? Are you Brad Pitt?

[GloverMart]

Mobile Chicane said:

mjb1 said:

GloverMart said:

Some good points there. She seemed (and said) that she wasn't in any hurry but I guess after being let down by me having to postpone the date, her already thin patience wore even thinner.

Grover - that's exactly what I'm doing now, not putting all the eggs in one basket. Might see you in the Crown with her one night...

You got away with postponing once with the ex wife reason, that was pushing your luck, second time was taking the piss. It gives the impression that she'll always be competing for your attention with your ex wife. It's baggage that nobody wants. Should have lied the first time (just say family emergency/childcare cancelled or similar), and not cancelled the second time. She was probably coming to the conclusion that either you were still married, or an armchair dater that would never get around to meeting up in person.

This. Very much this.

If ever a credentials/new business meeting/job interview is cancelled more than once, I know it's BS.

Yep, I'd be miffed if it was the other way around so no real complaints here.

Currently chatting to two women; one in my village and the other 50 miles away and both seem pretty promising.

[clonmult]

Disco You said:

MrCarPark said:

Certainly is.

For what it's worth, my success ratio at each stage has been roughly 3:1 (on OKC). So 3 messages (to 3 different people obv.) to get 1 reply, 3 replies to get 1 date, 3 dates to get 1 relationship. I'm now on my 3rd OKC relationship and it's looking like it has good potential, so I'm counting my chickens on this one .

3:1 messages : replies? Are you Brad Pitt?

Brad Pitt wouldn't have to send any messages. He'd be 1000:0.

[Mobile Chicane]

Thankyou4calling said:

GloverMart said:

In cookery terms, you are the "spaghetti on toast" kept warm in the oven while she sorts herself out an exotic/expensive/more tasty dish elsewhere.

Have you tried E Harmony? I met my current on there and found it fantastic. Get some decent pics and an interesting profile and if you go. They do plenty of offers so no need to pay full price but say you sign for three months ( often paid upfront) make sure to immediately cancel or they'll renew it automatically by which time you should be all loved up. Couple of other tips. The distance parameter is as the crow flies so 50 miles may equal 2 hours drive time. Don't bother with people who ask you 5 questions, just go straight to mail. The camera DOES lie. Send plenty of ice breakers but you'll get a better response, again, if you go straight to mail and be cheeky, polite and available. Give it a go :-)

Do you have shares / are they paying you for positive mentions?

Last time I dipped a toe into E Harmony - admittedly a few years ago - you couldn't 'search', and at least half of the 'matches' emailed every day were not active members.

Those active had been members for a while, and were mostly slowly, slowly catchee monkey stylee trying to crack that virginal 40 year-old Sunday School Teacher from stkicker, Idaho, into a first date.

Complete and utter waste of time.

[Thankyou4calling]

Mobile Chicane said:

Do you have shares / are they paying you for positive mentions?

Last time I dipped a toe into E Harmony - admittedly a few years ago - you couldn't 'search', and at least half of the 'matches' emailed every day were not active members.

Those active had been members for a while, and were mostly slowly, slowly catchee monkey stylee trying to crack that virginal 40 year-old Sunday School Teacher from stkicker, Idaho, into a first date.

Complete and utter waste of time.

Haha! No shares I'm afraid. Perhaps I was one of your matches, mind you I wasn't on that many years ago so maybe not. Had a very different experience to you though but then we are all different.