Match.com (Volume 5)
Discussion
I've had some weird dates over the past couple of weeks (all names have been changed to protect the innocent).
Gangbang - Arranged to go for a drink with a girl who was absolutely gorgeous, the kind that when you first meet her you can't help but give yourself an internal high five. The date at the local was going well right up to the local Hell's Angel biker gang turned up, all 40 of them! I went inside to get a couple of drinks and returned to find them now sat on the table talking to Gangbang who looked terrified. As I approached one of them looked at me and offered my date 'Why don't you leave him and come join a real man for the night?' Not wanting to lose face I responded 'Just because you're overweight doesn't make you a real man' with a smile on my face, at which point every single biker there turned to me. I then had two thoughts - 'RUN! She can look after herself' swiftly followed by 'Won't be able to run that quickly given the face I have just s
t myself'. Lucikly they took it the way it was intended and laughed it off so we could enjoy the rest of the date, although a nice girl she had a few too many issues so we left it there.
Weed Girl - I had already been on two dates with Weed Girl and had a great time, for the third date she invited me round to hers for 'film and takeaway' - sorted! When I walked in the house I was overwhelmed by the smell of weed, she admitted she had just had a quick joint after a stressful day which was fair enough, I'm not bothered about things like that and had already scraped the cheese off so was happy to stay. We ordered food (lots of it suprisingly) and settled down to watch a film. At which point she decided she wanted another joint. So rather than getting my end away, I ended up holding a torch for her so she could roll up in the dark and then acted as pillow when she fell asleep after. When she woke up (after some gentle prodding in the back of the head), she kicked me out because she needed to go and meet her dealer to buy more weed. Safe to say I won't be seeing her again.
Rusty Water - This was more a pre-date issue of my own. I've got IBS and am lactose intolerant meaning I can have a sensitive gut. I'd been feeling dodgy for a couple of days but didn't want to cancel so put on a brave face and drove over to the town we were meeting in. On the way I felt the first few rumbling warning signs that something was brewing but thought nothing of it. Parked up, <rumble rumble>, start walking to the bar <Rumble Rumble>, get a text <rumble> saying she's running late <RUMBLE RUUUUUUMBLE> as I walk past a cinema RUmbLE RUMBLE MOTHERfkING RUMBLE so I dive inside to use their facilities. So here I am, 5 minutes before a date, sat on the toilet with apocolypse coming out my arse. The only way I can describe it is as the scene from Jackass where Dave England (I think) rides the fire hose in the mud. After stripping the paint off every wall in a 5 mile radius, I make my way over and have a really enjoyable evening with a girl who has a great personality but I just wasn't attracted to.
All in, I've had some great fun over the past few months and met some great people. But I think I'll probably stop with the PoF and Tinder dates. It does get expensive and a bit repetitive. Plus there is only one girl I actually want a relationship with and I can't have her yet but I'm going to concentrate on winning her instead!
Gangbang - Arranged to go for a drink with a girl who was absolutely gorgeous, the kind that when you first meet her you can't help but give yourself an internal high five. The date at the local was going well right up to the local Hell's Angel biker gang turned up, all 40 of them! I went inside to get a couple of drinks and returned to find them now sat on the table talking to Gangbang who looked terrified. As I approached one of them looked at me and offered my date 'Why don't you leave him and come join a real man for the night?' Not wanting to lose face I responded 'Just because you're overweight doesn't make you a real man' with a smile on my face, at which point every single biker there turned to me. I then had two thoughts - 'RUN! She can look after herself' swiftly followed by 'Won't be able to run that quickly given the face I have just s
t myself'. Lucikly they took it the way it was intended and laughed it off so we could enjoy the rest of the date, although a nice girl she had a few too many issues so we left it there.Weed Girl - I had already been on two dates with Weed Girl and had a great time, for the third date she invited me round to hers for 'film and takeaway' - sorted! When I walked in the house I was overwhelmed by the smell of weed, she admitted she had just had a quick joint after a stressful day which was fair enough, I'm not bothered about things like that and had already scraped the cheese off so was happy to stay. We ordered food (lots of it suprisingly) and settled down to watch a film. At which point she decided she wanted another joint. So rather than getting my end away, I ended up holding a torch for her so she could roll up in the dark and then acted as pillow when she fell asleep after. When she woke up (after some gentle prodding in the back of the head), she kicked me out because she needed to go and meet her dealer to buy more weed. Safe to say I won't be seeing her again.
Rusty Water - This was more a pre-date issue of my own. I've got IBS and am lactose intolerant meaning I can have a sensitive gut. I'd been feeling dodgy for a couple of days but didn't want to cancel so put on a brave face and drove over to the town we were meeting in. On the way I felt the first few rumbling warning signs that something was brewing but thought nothing of it. Parked up, <rumble rumble>, start walking to the bar <Rumble Rumble>, get a text <rumble> saying she's running late <RUMBLE RUUUUUUMBLE> as I walk past a cinema RUmbLE RUMBLE MOTHERf
kING RUMBLE so I dive inside to use their facilities. So here I am, 5 minutes before a date, sat on the toilet with apocolypse coming out my arse. The only way I can describe it is as the scene from Jackass where Dave England (I think) rides the fire hose in the mud. After stripping the paint off every wall in a 5 mile radius, I make my way over and have a really enjoyable evening with a girl who has a great personality but I just wasn't attracted to.All in, I've had some great fun over the past few months and met some great people. But I think I'll probably stop with the PoF and Tinder dates. It does get expensive and a bit repetitive. Plus there is only one girl I actually want a relationship with and I can't have her yet but I'm going to concentrate on winning her instead!
Thankyou4calling said:
GloverMart said:
Well, anyone had any luck on Craigslist at all?
Check my previous posts
And proceed with caution.
I'm of the opinion that 99% are either not real or based in the States. I thought I was on the brink of meeting someone for fun the other day but she seems to have vanished.
SpunkyGlory said:
I've had some weird dates over the past couple of weeks (all names have been changed to protect the innocent).
Gangbang - Arranged to go for a drink with a girl who was absolutely gorgeous, the kind that when you first meet her you can't help but give yourself an internal high five. The date at the local was going well right up to the local Hell's Angel biker gang turned up, all 40 of them! I went inside to get a couple of drinks and returned to find them now sat on the table talking to Gangbang who looked terrified. As I approached one of them looked at me and offered my date 'Why don't you leave him and come join a real man for the night?' Not wanting to lose face I responded 'Just because you're overweight doesn't make you a real man' with a smile on my face, at which point every single biker there turned to me. I then had two thoughts - 'RUN! She can look after herself' swiftly followed by 'Won't be able to run that quickly given the face I have just st myself'. Lucikly they took it the way it was intended and laughed it off so we could enjoy the rest of the date, although a nice girl she had a few too many issues so we left it there.
Weed Girl - I had already been on two dates with Weed Girl and had a great time, for the third date she invited me round to hers for 'film and takeaway' - sorted! When I walked in the house I was overwhelmed by the smell of weed, she admitted she had just had a quick joint after a stressful day which was fair enough, I'm not bothered about things like that and had already scraped the cheese off so was happy to stay. We ordered food (lots of it suprisingly) and settled down to watch a film. At which point she decided she wanted another joint. So rather than getting my end away, I ended up holding a torch for her so she could roll up in the dark and then acted as pillow when she fell asleep after. When she woke up (after some gentle prodding in the back of the head), she kicked me out because she needed to go and meet her dealer to buy more weed. Safe to say I won't be seeing her again.
Rusty Water - This was more a pre-date issue of my own. I've got IBS and am lactose intolerant meaning I can have a sensitive gut. I'd been feeling dodgy for a couple of days but didn't want to cancel so put on a brave face and drove over to the town we were meeting in. On the way I felt the first few rumbling warning signs that something was brewing but thought nothing of it. Parked up, <rumble rumble>, start walking to the bar <Rumble Rumble>, get a text <rumble> saying she's running late <RUMBLE RUUUUUUMBLE> as I walk past a cinema RUmbLE RUMBLE MOTHERfkING RUMBLE so I dive inside to use their facilities. So here I am, 5 minutes before a date, sat on the toilet with apocolypse coming out my arse. The only way I can describe it is as the scene from Jackass where Dave England (I think) rides the fire hose in the mud. After stripping the paint off every wall in a 5 mile radius, I make my way over and have a really enjoyable evening with a girl who has a great personality but I just wasn't attracted to.
All in, I've had some great fun over the past few months and met some great people. But I think I'll probably stop with the PoF and Tinder dates. It does get expensive and a bit repetitive. Plus there is only one girl I actually want a relationship with and I can't have her yet but I'm going to concentrate on winning her instead!
Feel free to post more of your exploits, chap. We do need the amusement. Gangbang - Arranged to go for a drink with a girl who was absolutely gorgeous, the kind that when you first meet her you can't help but give yourself an internal high five. The date at the local was going well right up to the local Hell's Angel biker gang turned up, all 40 of them! I went inside to get a couple of drinks and returned to find them now sat on the table talking to Gangbang who looked terrified. As I approached one of them looked at me and offered my date 'Why don't you leave him and come join a real man for the night?' Not wanting to lose face I responded 'Just because you're overweight doesn't make you a real man' with a smile on my face, at which point every single biker there turned to me. I then had two thoughts - 'RUN! She can look after herself' swiftly followed by 'Won't be able to run that quickly given the face I have just s
t myself'. Lucikly they took it the way it was intended and laughed it off so we could enjoy the rest of the date, although a nice girl she had a few too many issues so we left it there.Weed Girl - I had already been on two dates with Weed Girl and had a great time, for the third date she invited me round to hers for 'film and takeaway' - sorted! When I walked in the house I was overwhelmed by the smell of weed, she admitted she had just had a quick joint after a stressful day which was fair enough, I'm not bothered about things like that and had already scraped the cheese off so was happy to stay. We ordered food (lots of it suprisingly) and settled down to watch a film. At which point she decided she wanted another joint. So rather than getting my end away, I ended up holding a torch for her so she could roll up in the dark and then acted as pillow when she fell asleep after. When she woke up (after some gentle prodding in the back of the head), she kicked me out because she needed to go and meet her dealer to buy more weed. Safe to say I won't be seeing her again.
Rusty Water - This was more a pre-date issue of my own. I've got IBS and am lactose intolerant meaning I can have a sensitive gut. I'd been feeling dodgy for a couple of days but didn't want to cancel so put on a brave face and drove over to the town we were meeting in. On the way I felt the first few rumbling warning signs that something was brewing but thought nothing of it. Parked up, <rumble rumble>, start walking to the bar <Rumble Rumble>, get a text <rumble> saying she's running late <RUMBLE RUUUUUUMBLE> as I walk past a cinema RUmbLE RUMBLE MOTHERf
kING RUMBLE so I dive inside to use their facilities. So here I am, 5 minutes before a date, sat on the toilet with apocolypse coming out my arse. The only way I can describe it is as the scene from Jackass where Dave England (I think) rides the fire hose in the mud. After stripping the paint off every wall in a 5 mile radius, I make my way over and have a really enjoyable evening with a girl who has a great personality but I just wasn't attracted to.All in, I've had some great fun over the past few months and met some great people. But I think I'll probably stop with the PoF and Tinder dates. It does get expensive and a bit repetitive. Plus there is only one girl I actually want a relationship with and I can't have her yet but I'm going to concentrate on winning her instead!
GloverMart said:
Thanks, Thankyou, I'll have a look then.
I'm of the opinion that 99% are either not real or based in the States. I thought I was on the brink of meeting someone for fun the other day but she seems to have vanished.
I'd put it closer to 90%, but! I did meet several from there who were, shall we say "beyond the norm" 5 in total, filth and four of which I'd happily be seen out with, the other I'm of the opinion that 99% are either not real or based in the States. I thought I was on the brink of meeting someone for fun the other day but she seems to have vanished.
but obviously I still did the deed, needs must.
soad said:
Feel free to post more of your exploits, chap. We do need the amusement.
Glad you enjoy my misery! 
There have been a couple of other nightmares such as the girl who passed out during sex, however I think I'll keep some of the more embarassing ones to myself for now. And I will point out there have been more positive moments than negatives ones.
SpunkyGlory said:
Glad you enjoy my misery!
There have been a couple of other nightmares such as the girl who passed out during sex, however I think I'll keep some of the more embarassing ones to myself for now. And I will point out there have been more positive moments than negatives ones.
In I think 15 dates in 3 weeks now I've had 5 decent ones, 6 vanilla ones and 4 crazies. It's a world of amusement.There have been a couple of other nightmares such as the girl who passed out during sex, however I think I'll keep some of the more embarassing ones to myself for now. And I will point out there have been more positive moments than negatives ones.
Post the embarrassing ones too... it's only right
Thankyou4calling said:
GloverMart said:
Thanks, Thankyou, I'll have a look then.
I'm of the opinion that 99% are either not real or based in the States. I thought I was on the brink of meeting someone for fun the other day but she seems to have vanished.
I'd put it closer to 90%, but! I did meet several from there who were, shall we say "beyond the norm" 5 in total, filth and four of which I'd happily be seen out with, the other I'm of the opinion that 99% are either not real or based in the States. I thought I was on the brink of meeting someone for fun the other day but she seems to have vanished.
but obviously I still did the deed, needs must.
The only one who I seemed to be close to meeting was a 34 year old who had an exhibitionist issue she wanted to deal with. Exchanged pics and emails but once the question of when and where to meet, silence.
Council Baby said:
In I think 15 dates in 3 weeks now I've had 5 decent ones, 6 vanilla ones and 4 crazies. It's a world of amusement.
Post the embarrassing ones too... it's only right
Crazies and decents are good fun, vanilla ones are not for me! Of all the ones described above, I'd rather any of those than someone who doesn't have an edgy side.Post the embarrassing ones too... it's only right
To be fair the embarrassing ones aren't that bad, there are a few more off stories I'll write up when get a chance.
I'm away with the kids for a week, so will resubmit my profile for pof when I get back. Seemed to have more success on there than tinder and match, hope whilst I'm away to get some better photos as well. Meeting up with best mate whilst I'm away and hoping he can use a camera and press the shutter when I'm smiling not 20 seconds later when I'm saying 'just press the fking button you ' as I'm sure the tourettes look isn't helping me
king button you ' as I'm sure the tourettes look isn't helping meGassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff