Match.com (Volume 5)
Discussion
Thankyou4calling said:
But you WILL speak to her again, you know that.
She has well and truly shown her true colours this time. Even if she said sorry, i don't want to be friends with someone who can treat anyone like that. Especially as I'm not a , I've been there for her 100%, she has taken me for granted and now she'll be left with nothing. Her girlfriend will fk her over (did I mention her girlfriend is a alcoholic?). She'll then see that I was right.
BPD hate?
Xtriple129 said:
I don't know if this is the right place to put this, but any advice you guys and girls can give would be most welcome.
//snip//
It's only been a year. Far too soon to do any serious dating again as you're still mourning the demise of your previous relationship and all the losses that entails. Be single for a while longer and concentrate on doing things for yourself instead of getting mixed up with women. //snip//
Johnny said:
After finding myself rather unceremoniously, and rather unexpectedly, dumped on Tuesday evening - and realising by Friday morning that it was well and truly over and not worth trying to sort, I now find myself single.
Gutted for you mate, but sounds like you bounced back well Ki3r said:
She has well and truly shown her true colours this time. Even if she said sorry, i don't want to be friends with someone who can treat anyone like that. Especially as I'm not a , I've been there for her 100%, she has taken me for granted and now she'll be left with nothing.
Her girlfriend will fk her over (did I mention her girlfriend is a alcoholic?). She'll then see that I was right.
BPD hate?
What if she live's happily ever after with the alcy? Forget about her and move on.Her girlfriend will fk her over (did I mention her girlfriend is a alcoholic?). She'll then see that I was right.
BPD hate?
big dub said:
Johnny said:
After finding myself rather unceremoniously, and rather unexpectedly, dumped on Tuesday evening - and realising by Friday morning that it was well and truly over and not worth trying to sort, I now find myself single.
Gutted for you mate, but sounds like you bounced back well Xtriple129 said:
I don't know if this is the right place to put this, but any advice you guys and girls can give would be most welcome.
I'm getting old (got old?) and I really don't fancy being alone for the rest of my life, but if I think about 'dating' it just turns me right off. Can't face it, don't want to, can't bare the thought of being involved with someone...
I really feel for you mate, I really do.I'm getting old (got old?) and I really don't fancy being alone for the rest of my life, but if I think about 'dating' it just turns me right off. Can't face it, don't want to, can't bare the thought of being involved with someone...
I just wanted to echo the 'dating' thing. I'm 51 and split from the wife 5 years ago, I'm not missing her now but I really miss being part of a family. I have constant access to my kids and I was even their main carer for the first few years of the split but I have found holidays, day trips and meals out with them pretty lonely, especially when surrounded by happy families.
I miss the noise, the Sunday roasts, the impromptu dinner parties with friends and family and the family holidays with two of us to enjoy the evenings and look after the little ones.
I too can't bare the dates thus I've been on very few and my social life is just getting p!55ed with lads 20 to 30 years younger than me and to be honest I just can't keep up anymore. The dates are so much hard work for very little gain ie I have not really been successful and it just knocks your confidence again and again.
Sorry mate, I can't offer a solution. The pain of missing her will go, honestly, and then hopefully you'll find someone.
Best of luck
Ki3r said:
Thankyou4calling said:
But you WILL speak to her again, you know that.
She has well and truly shown her true colours this time. Even if she said sorry, i don't want to be friends with someone who can treat anyone like that. Especially as I'm not a , I've been there for her 100%, she has taken me for granted and now she'll be left with nothing. Her girlfriend will fk her over (did I mention her girlfriend is a alcoholic?). She'll then see that I was right.
BPD hate?
Ki3r said:
Thankyou4calling said:
But you WILL speak to her again, you know that.
She has well and truly shown her true colours this time. Even if she said sorry, i don't want to be friends with someone who can treat anyone like that. Especially as I'm not a , I've been there for her 100%, she has taken me for granted and now she'll be left with nothing. Her girlfriend will fk her over (did I mention her girlfriend is a alcoholic?). She'll then see that I was right.
BPD hate?
Blown2CV said:
Ki3r said:
Thankyou4calling said:
But you WILL speak to her again, you know that.
She has well and truly shown her true colours this time. Even if she said sorry, i don't want to be friends with someone who can treat anyone like that. Especially as I'm not a , I've been there for her 100%, she has taken me for granted and now she'll be left with nothing. Her girlfriend will fk her over (did I mention her girlfriend is a alcoholic?). She'll then see that I was right.
BPD hate?
IanMorewood said:
Oh gosh she's not harvested your body parts overnight?
That would be more rational.We both have kids, her 2 from a short lived marriage that ended 16 years ago and me 4.
I dont want more (and cant - snip)....she does. In fact its her "dream" to have a baby and a family......but oddly, its not really the baby - in fact, she isnt really into kids at all. She will happily leave the baby with anyone if she had it to go and party! no....what she wants is a sense of being in a "family" and feels that only comes if there's a "glue" between the two people because (in her mind) love always dies after a while and you need glue to keep it together????
So she can jump between "I've been waiting 15 years for a love this good" to "i think I'll wake up in 5 years when I'll be 43 and too old for a kid and realise that I hate you for causing me to abandon my dream"
A tad nutty
Ki3r said:
BPD hate?
It's pretty obvious that she has some issues from what you've said. There's a book called 'I hate you, dont leave me' which describes how people with BPD justify their actions to others. It's written from the view of a 'normal' person in a relationship with someone who has a personality disorder. Which it sounds like your friend has. Get away from it, it's toxic to you, which is evident by you saying this
Ki3r said:
Her girlfriend will fk her over She'll then see that I was right.
And with you saying you're possibly undiagnosed autistic....come on - is that an excuse? People truly with autism dont know they have autism in the same way that chavs dont know they're chavs. They know that other people are different to them and they try to keep away from them because they'll get hurtThanks for the replies, I missed them yesterday, just weren't there, now they are....
To answer one question: no, there were no other issues other than the daughter, we still got on like always - best friends - no infidelity, no money worries.
Ho hum.
I will move on... eventually I'm sure, just I'll be to bloody old by then to remember why
To answer one question: no, there were no other issues other than the daughter, we still got on like always - best friends - no infidelity, no money worries.
Ho hum.
I will move on... eventually I'm sure, just I'll be to bloody old by then to remember why
Xtriple129 said:
Thanks for the replies, I missed them yesterday, just weren't there, now they are....
To answer one question: no, there were no other issues other than the daughter, we still got on like always - best friends - no infidelity, no money worries.
Ho hum.
I will move on... eventually I'm sure, just I'll be to bloody old by then to remember why
You'll get there mate believe me. It has 'only' been 12 months and there's no script for this it'll take as long as it takes it's all part of the grieving process. I don't advocate harbouring bitterness and resentment as they are unhealthy emotions imo but it was your wife who made her choices and you weren't part of them - you deserve better.To answer one question: no, there were no other issues other than the daughter, we still got on like always - best friends - no infidelity, no money worries.
Ho hum.
I will move on... eventually I'm sure, just I'll be to bloody old by then to remember why
It sounds to me like you're putting yourself under unnecessary pressure to move on and you need to get your head in the right place first. I know it's sounds a bit ghey but learn to love yourself first and be content with your lot and the rest will fall into place.
Good luck mate, it's not easy but you'll get there
Tiggsy said:
A tad nutty
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHQWlFtSptUThe "Crazy scale" starts at 4... because all women measure at least a 4 on the mental
Johnny said:
This thread has always made me feel that way. I read it and was always so grateful not to be part of it. To be stable and happy.
However If I'm honest I've been fked over. Properly. Am i upset? Of course. Truly gutted. I've spent 2 months working non stop to provide and get money to get married. Today is my 24th straight day at work.
She ended it Tuesday. I was trying to sort it out. At 0600 on Friday she emailed to say goodbye and tell me she was now sleeping with someone else.
So what am I supposed to do? Like I said, in the past I would sit at home, beg for a chance, try and fix it. I have flights booked for Thursday. I would have always just gone in the hope of making things better. But they won't get better. And I'll just be even more hurt.
So I'm breaking the trend and putting myself out there. Keeping busy. Trying to forget.
It's made me realise I'm ok. Not bad looking, in good shape and with the ability to blag a bit too. At the moment I can do with the ego boost.
Would I rather be in the relationship with the person I thought was forever? Yes. But she doesn't want me and I refuse to sit about and be miserable this time
Yikes, sounds like she may well have been stringing you along for some time. Nobody deserves that. However If I'm honest I've been fked over. Properly. Am i upset? Of course. Truly gutted. I've spent 2 months working non stop to provide and get money to get married. Today is my 24th straight day at work.
She ended it Tuesday. I was trying to sort it out. At 0600 on Friday she emailed to say goodbye and tell me she was now sleeping with someone else.
So what am I supposed to do? Like I said, in the past I would sit at home, beg for a chance, try and fix it. I have flights booked for Thursday. I would have always just gone in the hope of making things better. But they won't get better. And I'll just be even more hurt.
So I'm breaking the trend and putting myself out there. Keeping busy. Trying to forget.
It's made me realise I'm ok. Not bad looking, in good shape and with the ability to blag a bit too. At the moment I can do with the ego boost.
Would I rather be in the relationship with the person I thought was forever? Yes. But she doesn't want me and I refuse to sit about and be miserable this time
Edited by Johnny on Sunday 3rd August 13:10
I met my husband on Match.com, and he's pretty great. There are lots of fantastic women out there, I'm sure you'll find one who is a better fit for you and doesn't screw you over.
That's rough. Really rough.
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