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Pommygranite
4,184 posts
86 months
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Charisma and money- the reason ugly men get laid. Money not in abundance? Get charismatic.
Confidence with humility, self assurity, happiness and actually seem interested in other people but don't fawn over them.
Oh, get to the gym, have good hygiene, smell good and dress like you care but don't care and your chance of someone looking good sucking your dick goes up.
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Rollin
2,294 posts
115 months
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Pommygranite said: Charisma and money- the reason ugly men get laid. Money not in abundance? Get charismatic.
Confidence with humility, self assurity, happiness and actually seem interested in other people but don't fawn over them.
Oh, get to the gym, have good hygiene, smell good and dress like you care but don't care and your chance of someone looking good sucking your dick goes up. ...and don't overanalyse.
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DukeDickson
3,087 posts
83 months
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Pommygranite said: Charisma and money- the reason ugly men get laid. Money not in abundance? Get charismatic.  - partly Personality (whatever that is) - charisma  - but at the same time understand. Money Looks Wang length Power Fame Presence f  k knows - i.e. the completely unexplainable x-factor (hate the phrase but can't think of a better one) These are the things that get man jiggy. Otherwise - youporn & the like - Pam &.... Pommygranite said: Confidence with humility, self assurity, happiness and actually seem interested in other people but don't fawn over them.
Oh, get to the gym, have good hygiene, smell good and dress like you care but don't care and your chance of someone looking good sucking your dick goes up. again, kinda. If you have one or more of the above, life is easier. Otherwise, you're at the mercy of the mystery that is woman, unfortunately. Having said that, the dress sense, appropriate choice of profit-driven chemicals and the like really can do some good, assuming you don't go overboard and venture into trying too hard territory - i.e. looking a touch too much like you'd like to bat for Yorkshire. OP - You're young and there are more than a few attractive women in the world, as you'll realise as you pass through life. Many will think you are the biggest w ker on God's green. However, you will learn to accept that things aren't often like that - Lee Trevino quote (possibly?) Harsh reality is that unless you aren't giving everything up, you aren't a playboy, you ain't anywhere remotely close to even trainspotter monthly model of the week, IMO your dress sense is dreadful (Girl hair, white jeans & titfer!!!! as examples). Unless you aren't giving something up - unlikely, given the bleats you've posted recently, I'd suggest getting over it, waving your wang at anything that will reciprocate and then getting rid of girl-hair and the like, or chasing the women who like that kind of thing - some will. Ultimately, you sound like someone who wants a perfectly reliable Dobbin for the price of a Perodua. s t or get off the pot - Or continue to entertain us all 
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vrsmxtb
Original Poster
1,222 posts
26 months
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Oi! I'm the OP, not this other guy who wants the uni hottie!
In all seriousness I think I've gone through life somehow being much too modest about myself, and this is really showing in my low dating success rate. I've done a lot of interesting things in the past, been in bands since early twenties, toured the UK and some of Europe, had albums out. I'm only half-English so my other nationality always seems to be a talking point. But somehow I always downplay everything so that needs to change.
I think I'm guilty of not being able to chill out and relax after a date I thought went well because I'm impatient to see if a second date will happen, so whilst not quite in Jon Favreau "Swingers" phone call mode, I often can't resist texting her the day after which probably comes across negatively and breaks "the code". I hate all the dating game rules and theories but I suppose many of them do have logic to them.
Also, it's not like I've never seen a girl past a first date by any means, my original post was just venting some frustration at a recent thanks but no thanks experience.
I think online dating is tricky as well - I think many girls treat it as some kind of shopping experience and first impressions are the absolute make or break. My personality is far more suited to getting to know someone a bit slower and naturally which ties in to the wise words of one poster about forgetting the whole "meeting girls" preoccupation and getting out into life for your own development and enjoyment and meet others along the way doing the same.
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bulldong
1,317 posts
73 months
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JonRB
39,943 posts
142 months
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vrsmxtb said: In all seriousness I think I've gone through life somehow being much too modest about myself, and this is really showing in my low dating success rate. I've done a lot of interesting things in the past, been in bands since early twenties, toured the UK and some of Europe, had albums out. I'm only half-English so my other nationality always seems to be a talking point. But somehow I always downplay everything so that needs to change. That level of introspection is guaranteed to put you in the "nice guy but..." category, I'm afraid.
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Plotloss
67,230 posts
140 months
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Jesus. Neil Strauss would make a f king fortune from this thread...
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bulldong
1,317 posts
73 months
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JonRB said: That level of introspection is guaranteed to put you in the "nice guy but..." category, I'm afraid. "Nice guy but couldn't get a pornstar off?"
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CIS121
1,179 posts
83 months
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vrsmxtb said: Oi! I'm the OP, not this other guy who wants the uni hottie!
In all seriousness I think I've gone through life somehow being much too modest about myself, and this is really showing in my low dating success rate. I've done a lot of interesting things in the past, been in bands since early twenties, toured the UK and some of Europe, had albums out. I'm only half-English so my other nationality always seems to be a talking point. But somehow I always downplay everything so that needs to change.
I think I'm guilty of not being able to chill out and relax after a date I thought went well because I'm impatient to see if a second date will happen, so whilst not quite in Jon Favreau "Swingers" phone call mode, I often can't resist texting her the day after which probably comes across negatively and breaks "the code". I hate all the dating game rules and theories but I suppose many of them do have logic to them.
Also, it's not like I've never seen a girl past a first date by any means, my original post was just venting some frustration at a recent thanks but no thanks experience.
I think online dating is tricky as well - I think many girls treat it as some kind of shopping experience and first impressions are the absolute make or break. My personality is far more suited to getting to know someone a bit slower and naturally which ties in to the wise words of one poster about forgetting the whole "meeting girls" preoccupation and getting out into life for your own development and enjoyment and meet others along the way doing the same. You've got to go out and get what you want in life - be it jobs, women, cars etc. Nobody ever got a great job by just being good at what they do and nobody ever gets a great girl by being "a nice guy". Dating is a game and sadly perhaps women want you to play along too. Show them your mean, wild, crazy side :-)
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NotDave
20,951 posts
27 months
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Council Baby said: Only 2 that I remember though, I wondered why the others were giving me funny looks! You did his wife. HTH
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ceebmoj
1,550 posts
131 months
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The Beaver King said: - Meet a girl (Kind of a good starting point)
- Treat her like a male friend i.e. a bit of soft banter, tell a few funny stories etc...
- Don't focus on her too much. Chat to other friends, but include her if she's nearby.
- Carry this on for a few hours.
- Mention you're going to the bar, ask if she would like a drink. If she's interested in you, she will more than likely come with you to the bar.
- Ask a few general questions about her. Find her passion, ask questions on that. Mention something about yourself that links to her passion.
- Be confident in your own subjects, be interesting, but act like it's no big deal.
- Be impressed with the things she does/likes, big it up a bit.
- Consume alcohol, get drunk.
- Go for a dance. If you can't dance, do it anyway and make light of the fact you're crap.
- Eye contact is a must.
- Snog
- Go home/to her house.
- Have dirty drunk sex.
All most perfect - Stay the night.
- Being a little embarrassed is not a reason not to have more sex in the morning.
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BJG1
1,932 posts
82 months
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vrsmxtb said: Oi! I'm the OP, not this other guy who wants the uni hottie!
In all seriousness I think I've gone through life somehow being much too modest about myself, and this is really showing in my low dating success rate. I've done a lot of interesting things in the past, been in bands since early twenties, toured the UK and some of Europe, had albums out. I'm only half-English so my other nationality always seems to be a talking point. But somehow I always downplay everything so that needs to change.
I think I'm guilty of not being able to chill out and relax after a date I thought went well because I'm impatient to see if a second date will happen, so whilst not quite in Jon Favreau "Swingers" phone call mode, I often can't resist texting her the day after which probably comes across negatively and breaks "the code". I hate all the dating game rules and theories but I suppose many of them do have logic to them.
Also, it's not like I've never seen a girl past a first date by any means, my original post was just venting some frustration at a recent thanks but no thanks experience.
I think online dating is tricky as well - I think many girls treat it as some kind of shopping experience and first impressions are the absolute make or break. My personality is far more suited to getting to know someone a bit slower and naturally which ties in to the wise words of one poster about forgetting the whole "meeting girls" preoccupation and getting out into life for your own development and enjoyment and meet others along the way doing the same. This is why you don't get laid - you seem to be massively overthinking this and coming across as a right bore. "Nice" isn't a good quality. It's a nothing word. I'd be offended to be described as such. I want to be kind, interesting, funny and have a cock that makes women weep. Work on that first.
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Stedman
4,920 posts
62 months
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Plotloss said: Jesus. Neil Strauss would make a f king fortune from this thread...  So would Adam Lyons....
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al1991
4,351 posts
50 months
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vrsmxtb said: I've done a lot of interesting things in the past, been in bands since early twenties Aren't you a bit old to be dating?
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Plotloss
67,230 posts
140 months
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al1991 said: Aren't you a bit old to be dating? 
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Zwolf
22,321 posts
76 months
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Steamer said: mat777 said: Steamer said: Or the lack of two very important digits on your left hand. Eh? I have all my fingers thanks Sorry - My mistake! From a quick glance at your photo it looked like you had some kind of freaky crab-claw thing going on! I know 'chicks dig scars' but I think they draw the line at missing parts. They don't. I speak as someone with a "freaky crab claw."  "Nice" is just about the worst thing a member of the opposite sex (who isn't a relative at least) can ever call you. It means you are beige to them. Don't mirror them too closely or agree and find commonality with everything they talk about. Nobody actually wants to date themselves (apart from terminal narcissists). Find a few bones of contention and areas of differing thought - you'll have more conversations that she remembers.
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ILoveMondeo
7,711 posts
96 months
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The problem is, they see a b d as a challenge, spend the next 20 years moulding them into the perfect man, then divorce them because "they arent the man they fell in love with 20 years ago". Wimmins! What a bunch of crazies!
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VinceFox
14,788 posts
42 months
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Christ i'm glad i'm too old for any of this s t anymore. One of the best feelings for any bloke (or woman for that matter) is when you really, genuinely experience the feeling of actually wanting to be aloneand STAY alone. It's the most liberating feeling for a grown man, especially when you reflect on the ridiculous amount of time, money and energy you've thrown at the pursuit of women over the years. Ironically, it seems to appeal to them more when you really don't care, , right up until you catch your reflection one day and realise you could pass for seasick steve. Then it MAY have gone too far.
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blindswelledrat
19,168 posts
102 months
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vrsmxtb said: . My personality is far more suited to getting to know someone a bit slower and naturally Boring/ugly.
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TomTheTyke
131 posts
17 months
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DukeDickson said: looking a touch too much like you'd like to bat for Yorkshire. Sorry to go off topic but that seems to go over my head. Do you mean going out in a big hat like Geoff Boycott?
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