"You're very nice but..."
Discussion
one of the best pieces of advice is - do what seems counter-intuitive! I.e. never ever show any 'obvious' interest in her, tease her and take the piss, tell her that there's a girl that likes you and wants to meet (make her jealous), and be a shoulder to cry on when she moans and b
hes about other things going on in her life,
its certainly possible to 'escape' from the dreaded friends-zone but will take a while and require you to completely change your behaviour around her,
hes about other things going on in her life, its certainly possible to 'escape' from the dreaded friends-zone but will take a while and require you to completely change your behaviour around her,
To the op - hearing 'I'm too nice no one wants me' is to women what hearing 'I'm so fat, look how fat I am' is to men - after the 2nd or 3rd time hearing it it's not the whining/fatness that's a turn off its the self pity - who wants to hear that?!
You need to come across like people will want to be with you as opposed to people questioning why they would want you.
You need to come across like people will want to be with you as opposed to people questioning why they would want you.
Pommygranite said:
To the op - hearing 'I'm too nice no one wants me' is to women what hearing 'I'm so fat, look how fat I am' is to men - after the 2nd or 3rd time hearing it it's not the whining/fatness that's a turn off its the self pity - who wants to hear that?!
.
Very true. Except the bit that you said "its not the fatness". It is the fatness. And the self-pity is the cherry on the cake. THe cake that isn't there any more because the fatty has eaten it. .
ILoveMondeo said:
benzito said:
its certainly possible to 'escape' from the dreaded friends-zone but will take a while and require you to completely change your behaviour around her,
or bin her off and start afresh with one that doesnt see you as a soft touch?Or just get your head round the fact that you will NEVER sleep with her and see if you still want to hang out for the company.
benzito said:
its certainly possible to 'escape' from the dreaded friends-zone but will take a while and require you to completely change your behaviour around her,
It's definitely possible, but like you say it's going to take a massive turn around.And even then she still simply may not find you physically attractive.
"You're very nice but..."
Essentially means, "I'm out of your league saddo".
OP- you need to move down a division or two, you've obviously got delusions of grandeur.
As a spineless wimp you are able to screw female friends, but you're going to need alchohol and a clever strategy - essentially you have to make her think it was her idea all along, i.e become the rebound king, it's best to prey on the girls who are crying and very very drunk.
Essentially means, "I'm out of your league saddo".
OP- you need to move down a division or two, you've obviously got delusions of grandeur.
As a spineless wimp you are able to screw female friends, but you're going to need alchohol and a clever strategy - essentially you have to make her think it was her idea all along, i.e become the rebound king, it's best to prey on the girls who are crying and very very drunk.
mattnunn said:
"You're very nice but..."
Essentially means, "I'm out of your league saddo".
OP- you need to move down a division or two, you've obviously got delusions of grandeur.
As a spineless wimp you are able to screw female friends, but you're going to need alchohol and a clever strategy - essentially you have to make her think it was her idea all along, i.e become the rebound king, it's best to prey on the girls who are crying and very very drunk.
Essentially means, "I'm out of your league saddo".
OP- you need to move down a division or two, you've obviously got delusions of grandeur.
As a spineless wimp you are able to screw female friends, but you're going to need alchohol and a clever strategy - essentially you have to make her think it was her idea all along, i.e become the rebound king, it's best to prey on the girls who are crying and very very drunk.
RumbleOfThunder said:
Jasandjules said:
OP just be yourself. You will find someone.
About the best advice from this whole fking thread.Possibly someone who looks outward at the word rather than examining his navel in great detail.
Mobile Chicane said:
Famous Graham said:
Mobile Chicane said:
Shnozz said:
JonRB said:
Famous Graham said:
The irony is, of course, the moment you whinge about it, you're instantly unattractive 
Definitely this. 
I have a friend on Facebook who is always moaning about how nice he is and how it's so unfair that nice guys finish last
and it is deeply unattractive. Comes across as very needy and women just don't like that. 
Jasandjules said:
OP just be yourself-only Less SO. You will find someone.
EFA What about trying acting classes and spend the date in "Character" ?
I must be lucky, cause I'm a nice guy and my wife says she fell in love the moment she saw me. Apparently we were both 10, and it took her 8 years to utter one word to me.
I went out with 4 of her friends between the age of 14 and 17. (all of whom treated me like the nice guy I am, and therefore dumped me) before she finally decided I'd been through enough torture.
What gets me is the foolish mistakes we've watched some of her friends (not the same 4) make by choosing blokes who were arrogant and t
t like. Apparently living in a big house and driving a posh car makes it worthwhile. New POD said:
What about trying acting classes and spend the date in "Character" ?
Pointless. You can't spend your life in character and if you need to in order to be with a particular person, then that's not a relationship you should be in and won't end in happily ever after. It's easy to love the best of someone, but enduring relationships are those where you still love the worst of that person and accept them as the imperfect being that they - and we all - are.
Zwolf said:
New POD said:
What about trying acting classes and spend the date in "Character" ?
Pointless. You can't spend your life in character and if you need to in order to be with a particular person, then that's not a relationship you should be in and won't end in happily ever after. It's easy to love the best of someone, but enduring relationships are those where you still love the worst of that person and accept them as the imperfect being that they - and we all - are.
New POD said:
Zwolf said:
New POD said:
What about trying acting classes and spend the date in "Character" ?
Pointless. You can't spend your life in character and if you need to in order to be with a particular person, then that's not a relationship you should be in and won't end in happily ever after. It's easy to love the best of someone, but enduring relationships are those where you still love the worst of that person and accept them as the imperfect being that they - and we all - are.
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