"You're very nice but..."
Discussion
wendyg said:
Just being nice means nothing. It's good, of course, but irrelevant.
I've been looking at your posting recently.
Wow, that is really boring.
No girl is even slightly interested it the stuff youve been posting.
Be open
Be engaging
Be cheerful
Be interesting
Be interested
Be funny
Be kind
Be generous
Be attentive
Arse off, you do all the work. I've been looking at your posting recently.
Wow, that is really boring.
No girl is even slightly interested it the stuff youve been posting.
Be open
Be engaging
Be cheerful
Be interesting
Be interested
Be funny
Be kind
Be generous
Be attentive
JonRB said:
RumbleOfThunder said:
Jasandjules said:
OP just be yourself. You will find someone.
About the best advice from this whole f
king thread.If doing what he is doing clearly isn't working surely it's worth trying something else? I can't see why you'd rather wait indefinately for that perfect set of circumstances to arise if there are ways you can improve your odds?
It's not even about being somebody else (as said, an 'act' only has limited use), it's about improving who you are- which means putting yourself out of your comfort zone now and again. Over time this will increase your confidence, which in turn will allow you to take even bigger steps- all the while making you a more attractive proposition. See where it's going?
Ultimately, I'd say confidence (not arrogance) is THE best thing to work on to improve your chances with the wimmins. However, this confidence has to be congruent with who you are- not just an act. And in my experience the only way to improve said confidence is to keep putting yourself out of your (ever expanding) comfort zone.
Make small conversations with strangers whenever the chance arises, keep it light hearted and funny. Flirt with girls, even those you may not have any interest in if they are easier to approach (obviously don't overdo it with these), it's about getting enough practice that you can confidently joke about in these situations without coming across as the slightly nervous nice guy.
Oh and if you meet someone you fancy, make sure you telegraph this early enough- trying to get in through the friends approach is the long, emotionally tiring route. This means being funny- but in a flirty way. Don't give away your life story in the first 5 minutes. Don't keep chasing them up. Don't meet up unless it's accepted that it is going to be a 'date'. If you don't know where you stand with them in terms of 'friends/dating', it's too early to introduce them to your mates. Don't invest too much until you know where it's going, at least giving the impression that you have plenty else going on will ensure they don't mistake you for the obsessive needy type.
Oh and have fun!
They do say that making mistakes is the best way to learn, and as you can probably tell from the above, I have made a fair few of them over the years!
There is also the 'do loads of activities, live an interesting life, and they will come to you' approach. This is pretty sound, but I found the only way to be half confident chatting/flirting with women when they do arrive (so as to stop coming across as the 'nice guy') was to chat/flirt with women whenever possible...
But I am certainly no expert, so feel free to discard all of that as hogwash.
PaperCut said:
NobleGuy said:
Evangelion said:
Definitely NOT hogwash!
Agreed. Lots of sense there.It's certainly easier to offer advice when you've walked that particular path yourself!
I'm not really 'mates' with any women as such.
The only reason I would bother to talk to a women would be to get in her pants(some exceptions like friends girlfriends/work colleagues etc)
Works well for me, never in the friend zone, get laid often enough.
I just don't get the meeting xyz for lunch as "friends". My current Mrs would go mad if I started meeting a female friend for lunch.
The only reason I would bother to talk to a women would be to get in her pants(some exceptions like friends girlfriends/work colleagues etc)
Works well for me, never in the friend zone, get laid often enough.
I just don't get the meeting xyz for lunch as "friends". My current Mrs would go mad if I started meeting a female friend for lunch.
Studio117 said:
I'm not really 'mates' with any women as such.
The only reason I would bother to talk to a women would be to get in her pants(some exceptions like friends girlfriends/work colleagues etc)
Works well for me, never in the friend zone, get laid often enough.
I just don't get the meeting xyz for lunch as "friends". My current Mrs would go mad if I started meeting a female friend for lunch.
It is a solid way to live your life and manage your relationship with women. Carry on.The only reason I would bother to talk to a women would be to get in her pants(some exceptions like friends girlfriends/work colleagues etc)
Works well for me, never in the friend zone, get laid often enough.
I just don't get the meeting xyz for lunch as "friends". My current Mrs would go mad if I started meeting a female friend for lunch.
I've regularly seen mates who have had female 'friends'. But in every instance they would happily have things go further if the chance would arrive.
This leads me to believe that guys generally don't have (single) female 'friends' that they don't find in some way attractive.
Once you throw in the rose-tinted specs that innevitably arises over time through increased familiarity with an indivual, not to mention the possibility of getting drunk around said person, things get messy 9 times out of 10.
Now obviously this is largely more relevant when concerning single women as friends (as opposed to those who are in a relationship when you meet them), but every time one of these female 'friends' has found a boyfriend, my mates have always been extremely quick to cut-off contact.
Co-incidence?
This leads me to believe that guys generally don't have (single) female 'friends' that they don't find in some way attractive.
Once you throw in the rose-tinted specs that innevitably arises over time through increased familiarity with an indivual, not to mention the possibility of getting drunk around said person, things get messy 9 times out of 10.
Now obviously this is largely more relevant when concerning single women as friends (as opposed to those who are in a relationship when you meet them), but every time one of these female 'friends' has found a boyfriend, my mates have always been extremely quick to cut-off contact.
Co-incidence?
Squirrelofwoe said:
Now obviously this is largely more relevant when concerning single women as friends (as opposed to those who are in a relationship when you meet them), but every time one of these female 'friends' has found a boyfriend, my mates have always been extremely quick to cut-off contact.
Co-incidence?
Haha - only if the boyfriend is a big guy / can handle himself, haha! Co-incidence?
It might be a bit bizarre, and probably the worst place to post this, but I have almost the opposite problem than the OP. I am seeing (literally just for sex) a girl who I don't even like. Problem is, she really, really likes me - even though I'm 6 years her junior (I'm 23 to her 29).
I could go on about a girl who I used to see, who just, out of the blue, ignored me. She is beautiful, smart, intelligent and funny - thing is, she's over me, so I moved on.
I don't know where I heard it, but I've heard it more than once - ''girls already have one pussy, they don't need another one'' - might be a tough pill to swallow, but it's the truth, brother. So stop being queer, hit the gym, lose a few lbs of fat, and be a more awesome 'you'. I suggest losing some weight / putting on a bit more muscle, as it's a real easy way to boost your confidence, usually.
The more confidence you ooze, the more girls you'll get. Fact.
Edited by Chaz9950 on Wednesday 23 May 14:50
Gwagon111 said:
Chasing tail is far too much effort, for not enough reward. I just like watching all the gurning gimps trying to pull women, failing miserably, and falling flat on their faces. It requires zero effort, and is much more fun.
What about the ones that successfully and effortlessly pull women time after time? It's really not that difficult.JonRB said:
Yup. 100% guaranteed to work
Sorry, I didn't realise that life was dictated by weird cartoons...
Seriously though, the more confident you are (without being an asshole), the easier you'll get girls. Don't paw all over them, and just be easy to be around - a bit like James Bond, sans Aston Martin, Walther PPK, and licence to kill...
Chaz9950 said:
JonRB said:
Yup. 100% guaranteed to work
Sorry, I didn't realise that life was dictated by weird cartoons...
Seriously though, the more confident you are (without being an asshole), the easier you'll get girls. Don't paw all over them, and just be easy to be around - a bit like James Bond, sans Aston Martin, Walther PPK, and licence to kill...
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