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Pig Skill
Original Poster
1,368 posts
72 months
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We live in a nice little village, down a country lane with sporadic, different houses dotted along. Very nice , etc. There is a Victorian semi one house down from us. One half is immaculate with well tendered gardens, clean, nicely maintained and overall very nice; just like the other houses. The other half of said semi is a right mess though. It's owned by a bloke and his wife and they have three children. If you walk past the house and glance in the front window, the ironing board is always out, there are patches of the walls plastered up and not painted and the curtains look a bit s  t. The font vestibule door had a lovely stained glass window that somehow became cracked. They chose to repair it by boarding over it with some plywood. The front garden consists of a small driveway with some limestone chippings casually lashed around, about 6 concrete flags stood upright against the house and a half attempt at a rockery. They have a couple of s t cars too that NEVER get washed, they are dented, scuffed, old, noisy and just generally a bit s t. So, its kinda lowering the tone really. It bugs me that the lazy farther figure cant get off his arse, wash his car, smarten up his act and fix the window. You often see him just plebbing about, generally relaxing and doing f k all. I was thinking asking him why he doesn't get his life sorted and get his finger out. What would the PH forum members recommend for my approach? I'm a confident chap with no real issue in coming out with it, but I realise this approach isn't always the best....
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loafer123
2,693 posts
84 months
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You are Hyancinth Bucket AICMFP.
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HeatonNorris
1,649 posts
17 months
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DrTre
12,428 posts
101 months
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Generally relaxing?
Good on him.
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Ultuous
1,613 posts
60 months
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Maybe they've fallen upon hard times - you should do the neighborly thing and send your butler, gardener and housemaid round for a day to help them sort things out!!
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FesterNath
650 posts
105 months
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Have you considered rogering his mrs?
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Cock Womble 7
29,908 posts
99 months
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I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've read the word "vestibule" on PH.
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carreauchompeur
10,581 posts
73 months
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Pig Skill said: We live in a nice little village, down a country lane with sporadic, different houses dotted along. Very nice , etc. There is a Victorian semi one house down from us. One half is immaculate with well tendered gardens, clean, nicely maintained and overall very nice; just like the other houses. The other half of said semi is a right mess though. It's owned by a bloke and his wife and they have three children. If you walk past the house and glance in the front window, the ironing board is always out, there are patches of the walls plastered up and not painted and the curtains look a bit s t. The font vestibule door had a lovely stained glass window that somehow became cracked. They chose to repair it by boarding over it with some plywood. The front garden consists of a small driveway with some limestone chippings casually lashed around, about 6 concrete flags stood upright against the house and a half attempt at a rockery. They have a couple of s t cars too that NEVER get washed, they are dented, scuffed, old, noisy and just generally a bit s t. So, its kinda lowering the tone really. It bugs me that the lazy farther figure cant get off his arse, wash his car, smarten up his act and fix the window. You often see him just plebbing about, generally relaxing and doing f k all. I was thinking asking him why he doesn't get his life sorted and get his finger out. What would the PH forum members recommend for my approach? I'm a confident chap with no real issue in coming out with it, but I realise this approach isn't always the best.... Quoted, because this thread is f king hilarious and you are, indeed, Hyacinth Bucket.
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Doofus
2,463 posts
42 months
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Pig Skill said: We live in a nice little village, down a country lane with sporadic, different houses dotted along. Very nice , etc. There is a Victorian semi one house down from us. One half is immaculate with well tendered gardens, clean, nicely maintained and overall very nice; just like the other houses. The other half of said semi is a right mess though. It's owned by a bloke and his wife and they have three children. If you walk past the house and glance in the front window, the ironing board is always out, there are patches of the walls plastered up and not painted and the curtains look a bit s t. The font vestibule door had a lovely stained glass window that somehow became cracked. They chose to repair it by boarding over it with some plywood. The front garden consists of a small driveway with some limestone chippings casually lashed around, about 6 concrete flags stood upright against the house and a half attempt at a rockery. They have a couple of s t cars too that NEVER get washed, they are dented, scuffed, old, noisy and just generally a bit s t. So, its kinda lowering the tone really. It bugs me that the lazy farther figure cant get off his arse, wash his car, smarten up his act and fix the window. You often see him just plebbing about, generally relaxing and doing f k all. I was thinking asking him why he doesn't get his life sorted and get his finger out. What would the PH forum members recommend for my approach? I'm a confident chap with no real issue in coming out with it, but I realise this approach isn't always the best.... What the f k has it got to do with you, you mealy-mouthed, meddling busybody? So you don't believe his standards of houskeeping match up to your own. Well who said they have to? Do you own the village? Are you in charge of standards and ethics? "Lowering the tone". Tut.  Tell you what, why don't you use some of your confidence to have a chat with him about it (perhaps you could arrange a coffee morning). Hopefully he'll punch you in the throat.
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evilmunkey
239 posts
28 months
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i get jobs like this sent through at work all the time... nothing you can do , if they own the property its up to them. we often get the well to folks moaning this person doesnt fit they havent the money for a good car etc etc... simple answer... its got nothing to do with you. maybe they dont have the money for a no dent lotus and are using what money they have for things like food and putting clothes on the backs of their kids. would love a person to come knock on my door to complain. they would be sorted out very quickly.. live and let live. are they REALLY harming you ?
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skinley
1,039 posts
29 months
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Pig Skill said: We live in a nice little village, down a country lane with sporadic, different houses dotted along. Very nice , etc. There is a Victorian semi one house down from us. One half is immaculate with well tendered gardens, clean, nicely maintained and overall very nice; just like the other houses. The other half of said semi is a right mess though. It's owned by a bloke and his wife and they have three children. If you walk past the house and glance in the front window, the ironing board is always out, there are patches of the walls plastered up and not painted and the curtains look a bit s t. The font vestibule door had a lovely stained glass window that somehow became cracked. They chose to repair it by boarding over it with some plywood. The front garden consists of a small driveway with some limestone chippings casually lashed around, about 6 concrete flags stood upright against the house and a half attempt at a rockery. They have a couple of s t cars too that NEVER get washed, they are dented, scuffed, old, noisy and just generally a bit s t. So, its kinda lowering the tone really. It bugs me that the lazy farther figure cant get off his arse, wash his car, smarten up his act and fix the window. You often see him just plebbing about, generally relaxing and doing f k all. I was thinking asking him why he doesn't get his life sorted and get his finger out. What would the PH forum members recommend for my approach? I'm a confident chap with no real issue in coming out with it, but I realise this approach isn't always the best.... Mind your own business, get a life and learn to spell.
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Dalto123
1,801 posts
32 months
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No offence but maybe you should be sticking your nose into their business. I'm sure if you were in their position you would appreciate your neighbour slagging you off on a car forum.
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skinley
1,039 posts
29 months
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Dalto123 said: No offence but maybe you should be sticking your nose into their business. I'm sure if you were in their position you would appreciate your neighbour slagging you off on a car forum. /\ n't.
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leeb
1,071 posts
112 months
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Doofus said: What the f k has it got to do with you, you mealy-mouthed, meddling busybody? Hopefully he'll punch you in the throat. This Exactly!! "'I'm a confident chap with no real issue in coming out with it, but I realise this approach isn't always the best...." You sound like a prize C* NT
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Jasandjules
45,354 posts
98 months
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I am guessing that he is ill (or at least claiming it)...... and might have neither the ability nor money to fix these things.
OR, he might just be a lazy sod who doesn't care....
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carreauchompeur
10,581 posts
73 months
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This is probably my favourite bit: Hyacinth said: If you walk past the house and glance in the front window, the ironing board is always out, there are patches of the walls plastered up and not painted and the curtains look a bit st. So not only are you passing judgement from afar, you're peering inside the house too. Jesus Christ, next you're going to be using long lenses and binoculars and keeping a "log".
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Mini1275
9,402 posts
51 months
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I can't see this going the way the OP would have thought/wanted  . It just makes him sound like a penis. Quit being a busy body and keep out of other people's business.
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eldar
6,986 posts
65 months
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I have to say my font vestibule is the talk of the village. Its knobs are in a high state of polish and the spratchetts are properly lubricated.
Font vestibules are becoming increasingly rare, and it good to know the OP is also a connoisseur, as evidenced by his well judged disparagement of plywood.
In such cases a petrol bomb is too little, it demands the full Tsar Bomba treatment. Plus a strongly worded email.
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Cock Womble 7
29,908 posts
99 months
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Jasandjules said: I am guessing that he is ill (or at least claiming it)...... and might have neither the ability nor money to fix these things.
OR, he might just be a lazy sod who doesn't care.... You're as bad as the OP.
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Pig Skill
Original Poster
1,368 posts
72 months
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Oh c'mon you bunch of self righteous f kpigs, I wrote my OP with the sole intent of sounding snobby. I know the family may be on hard times but it costs nothing to take pride in things, look after stuff and keep things clean. I bet half you lot would have your semen soaked arses twitching if they moved in near you! So, instead of typing silly things, what would you lot do to sort it? Have a word, leave a note or offer to help? s.
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