All the best chap.

I'd do the research into hospitals etc and take the job in order to distance both you & your lad from the source of the unhappiness. Talk it through with him so that you two can approach the relocation as a team. Whilst you don't have a direct family support network there now, it won't take more than 6 months or so to start to create one with his school friends' parents.

Scotland is a beautiful country with significantly better facilities than England.

I look forward to reading your post in a couple of months time, raving about your and your son's new life!

Alex

I'm aware that we only have one side of the story here, and it may be that your wife won't allow it, but I'd suggest you try to build bridges with her (without jeopardising your position).

Your son may be smarting that she's taken his TV or whatever, but in the future he may just need her one day so if you can, keep the doors to a relationship with his mum open for him.
Two parents are nearly always better than one, if possible.

Exactly it - yes fair comment only my side of the story, my wife unfortunately won't have any option to allow. The TV is a big thing to a young man but trivia to more mature minds. My overriding concern is to keep the door open for her - and him. But if we go, I'm in equal measure glad that we'll be far away and concerned it'll be too far to maintain / re-establish a meaningful relationship - as previosusly said and I' wholly subscribe to - kids need both parents -but I'm wondering!

Wow. That's heartbreaking.

FWIW and not withstanding the supportive comments above and the concerns you have expressed:

Out of the blue you are offered an alternative you really don't appear to have seriously considered until now (putting all else first, which is a very great credit to you in the circs. frankly)

Take it, it can do no greater harm. Your overriding concern on medical issues might yield to a little advance research and perhaps planning more than anything else. For everything else, those close to you both will understand and support anyway, all ways, I am sure. If the move really, really, really doesn't work you can always move again, back - or onward.

Here's to better times for you all.

I completely agree with this.

Any 13yr old lad who has been through all he has should be more than capable of having this sort of conversation. Trust him and have a man to man talk.

Mind you, if you do move to Scotland, don't forget to take fruit with you.

Just noted this! gave me a chuckle - ta ;-)

Don't worry about fruit, a deep fried Hawaiian pizza probably has some vitamin C still in it.

You think I'm making it up. Don't you?

In the immortal words of Murray Walker....

GO!! GO!! GO!!

Youre an adult. Look at the trauma she has already inflicted on you. And you want your son to hang around for the same treatment?

Get gone. Your priority is undoubtedly the long term welfare of your son. That is clearly with you being happy, prosperous and as far away from his clearly (however unfortunate it may be) mental Mum. Despite what people say, you CAN run away from problems and sometimes its a bloody good idea.

BTW, thanks for adding persepctive to my own embarrassingly *miniscule* dramas.

Stop looking back

First of all, you're a better man than many. The way you talk of your wife, despite her illness and all she has and is putting you through, is refreshing and honourable. Just as you never guessed things would deteriorate to the point where they are, they could equally change for the better in the future r.e. your sons and your own relationship with your wife.

Personally, after all the crap you've been through where you are now I think a fresh start in a fresh place would be a good thing for you and your lad. My family and I have had a pretty trying past few years and have just recently had an offer accepted on a beautiful house over 3 hours away from anyone we know. Of course, there's anxiety involved but the fresh start is so exciting and I truly think we'll put down good friendships with locals, as long as we try. You really do get out what you put in. Definitely get your sons opinion, he sounds mature for his age, and if he really wants to go for it that may be all the advice you need.