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900T-R
18,563 posts
126 months
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Carthage said: Have you considered faking your own death, spectacularly, so that it ends up in the local paper? That'll do it.
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KrazyIvan
2,520 posts
44 months
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BrabusMog said: I'd still happily hang around with her as she is a friend of a friend who sometimes joins us at the pub/restaurant etc. Yeah, that's not really going to happen any longer. You could of course do it in the middle of sex and see if you can finish before she cottons on 
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Rude-boy
15,547 posts
102 months
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McHaggis said: If you have a spine then meet her and tell her in person. Take her for a coffee or walk in the park and tell her the truth - that you like her a lot and you sense that she is really keen, you have really enjoyed your time with her, but you can't see the relationship developing further. You are really sorry that it isn't mutual but really value her as a friend and hope she will remain one.
If you have any mutual friends then keep any other dates quiet for a few weeks.
That is, at least, how you do it gently. This is the correct way out IMO if you are a Man, not just a male. Einion Yrth said: Just admit that you're a shallow heartless b'stard who was only in it for a quick shag, and be prepared to buy a lot of rabbits. This is what she will hear and what you'll need to do however you put it.
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shirt
14,300 posts
70 months
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BrabusMog said: shirt said: do you really need advice on this? seriously? :rollseyes: Nope, I just started the thread to show off to a bunch of anonymous people online. Not really had to do this sort of chat before so was looking for people's opinions on the best way to do it to see it i'd change what I've got planned. But don't let that get you clambering off your high horse, feel free to stay up there. you've never had to speak your feelings or show empathy before. okay then. horse is fine thanks, helps me wade through the crowd of the meek and feckless
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Blakeatron
1,056 posts
42 months
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Ask her to do something nasty, really dirty, kinky that only the best 'stars' could manage.
She does it and you let her down saying you are not into that kind of thing but would love to be friends.
She doesnt do it and you say you are into those kind of things but would love to be friends.
Oh and pics'
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vixen1700
6,467 posts
139 months
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Shag her and call her by a different name at climax. Win-win situation. 
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KrazyIvan
2,520 posts
44 months
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Great Pretender
23,772 posts
83 months
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BrabusMog said: Right, I'm not going to beat about the bush, I got involved with someone a few weeks ago that I know was much more into me than I was her, knowing it was going to go nowhere as far as I was concerned but that she would probably be looking for a relationship.
I was away with work for most of last week and kept getting needy texts/emails from her saying she couldn't wait for me to be back etc so I realise that I need to end it ASAP rather than lead her up the garden path.
The trouble is, we aren't in an exclusive committed relationship but she seems to think we are and I need to find the least harsh way to point this out to her. What would you do? Usually my relationships have just met their natural conclusion as was realised by both parties but I've got a feeling this could be a very teary discussion (on her side). A sensible reply: I was in a similar situation recently. Very sweet girl; deserving of someone who isn't in an emotional vacuum and willing/able to commit to her. Circumstances to some extent dictated that I physically couldn't see her enough to make it worth my while, but alas we weren't massively compatible either. So for me at least, it was never going anywhere once we got to know each other better. Nevertheless, I tried to let her down gently by explaining the difficulty in getting to spend time with her etc. However, it seems she still held onto an ideal that if the situation was different, then we could be together, which wasn't really what I meant... So in the end, I had to tell her fairly straight that I just didn't want to be in a relationship with her and ultimately that's the kindest thing to do in hindsight. A short, sharp shock is better than enduring pain and uncertainty. Tell her straight (without being a dick about it) and then leave her be. If you let it linger, it’s only harder for the person on the receiving end. Come clean, tell it straight and you’ll be respected more for it.
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Rude-boy
15,547 posts
102 months
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Great Pretender said: However, it seems she still held onto an ideal that if the situation was different, then we could be together, which wasn't really what I meant... When you try to let someone down softly this can happen. Be warned, do not give them any angle that could be used by them to think that there is any chance of the relationship continuing. Be kind, be fair, be a man about it, but do not leave then in any doubt that she is now an ex and will stay that way.
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S10GTA
2,521 posts
36 months
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ZOLLAR said: I'm slowly getting into the same position so I think the phrase required here is "bookmarked" Is that what kids call it nowadays? I always thought it was called missionary..
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King Herald
18,359 posts
85 months
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The facts are required:
Dear Jane,
When we met my bag was full, and you seemed a suitable receptacle to empty it into. Time has passed and my bag is well and truly empty, thus I have no need for you anymore.
Goodbye, and thank you.
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vixen1700
6,467 posts
139 months
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Great Pretender said: So in the end, I had to tell her fairly straight that I just didn't want to be in a relationship with her and ultimately that's the kindest thing to do in hindsight. A short, sharp shock is better than enduring pain and uncertainty. Tell her straight (without being a dick about it) and then leave her be. If you let it linger, it’s only harder for the person on the receiving end.
Come clean, tell it straight and you’ll be respected more for it. Is the right answer really, you really just have to be firm but fair with her. Only really had to do it once myself, and that was after living with someone for four years, it just wasn't going anywhere although she thought it was. Had to just come out with it, pack my stuff and drive off into the sunset (Well my mum's house really, as that was the only place I could sleep that night).
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ikarl
926 posts
68 months
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Shag her, cry, tell her you think you're gay, act all sensitive about it, cry some more.
Then move on and shag her friend. If she's hot.
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jamesson
1,934 posts
90 months
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I've been in a similar situation to you. When I'd made the decision to split with her, I went to her place, sat her down and said we need to chat. Then I told her that although she was great and had done nothing wrong I didn't want to be in a relationship with her anymore and that although it was a difficult decision to make, I knew I was making the right decision and I wouldn't be changing my mind.
As heartbroken as she was, she did at least thank me for being straight to the point and honest about it.
There's no easy way to let someone down, particularly if they are really into you, but a clean break is best.
Good luck!
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jamesson
1,934 posts
90 months
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King Herald said: The facts are required:
Dear Jane,
When we met my bag was full, and you seemed a suitable receptacle to empty it into. Time has passed and my bag is well and truly empty, thus I have no need for you anymore.
Goodbye, and thank you. 
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BrabusMog
Original Poster
4,961 posts
55 months
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shirt said: you've never had to speak your feelings or show empathy before. okay then.
horse is fine thanks, helps me wade through the crowd of the meek and feckless
Clearly reading the OP isn't one of your strong points but I digress, I can't be arsed with arguing online.
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graham22
885 posts
74 months
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Blakeatron said: Oh and pics' 2nd page, surprised it took this long.
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BrabusMog
Original Poster
4,961 posts
55 months
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jamesson said: I've been in a similar situation to you. When I'd made the decision to split with her, I went to her place, sat her down and said we need to chat. Then I told her that although she was great and had done nothing wrong I didn't want to be in a relationship with her anymore and that although it was a difficult decision to make, I knew I was making the right decision and I wouldn't be changing my mind.
As heartbroken as she was, she did at least thank me for being straight to the point and honest about it.
There's no easy way to let someone down, particularly if they are really into you, but a clean break is best.
Good luck! This is what I was probably going to do.
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TinyCappo
1,397 posts
22 months
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ikarl said: Shag her, cry, tell her you think you're gay, act all sensitive about it, cry some more.
Then move on and shag her friend. If she's hot. this..... But tell her that you only went with her because she looks so much like a man and you thought that it would make it easier but its not! Your only into Man love despite her stubble being just the right level of roughness........ ...........then retreat to a Nuclear clearance distance.
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Obiwonkeyblokey
4,849 posts
109 months
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You could wear this on your next Date...  or.... 
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