Watching QI on Dave... where they've just come out with the fact that it's dangerous to sleep with animals...

I was about to get all ragey and +1 shinobi but thanks for clearing that up. LOL'ing after writing that you push it is silly.

I can see by the tone in your post that you blame her and not the dog which is fair enough. I foster rescue dogs and love my dog more than any human, but having them in the bed is just dirty. I don't know much about little dogs but pretty sure like most of them they shed hair.

Like most problems in a relationship the best way to handle it is with good communication based on a considered approach. Have you got the balls to leave if she says no? If not, then don't waste your time by even bringing it up.

If it is a deal breaker then go about it in a nice way. Such as a caveman tech version of this silly thing.



The dog will hate it and it will get thrown out but it will be the thought that counts and if she throws her toys out of the cot then time to think long term.

Good luck.

I would not allow a dog in the bedroom, never mind on (or in) my bed.

I like dogs, but they belong snoring under the table / in front of the fire to dream of doggy things, not in bed.

I've only read the first page because everyone started getting British about kicking a dog...

Anyway, your OH sounds mental, get rid.

That'll work too.

This is why animal people and non-animal people shouldn't be together.

If someone ever posed the 'its me or the dog' question to me I'd tell them where to go. Remember, her dog was there before you and will still be there when (if?) you go.

My dogs usually sleep outside, but temporarily they've been kept indoors at night lately and occasionally I'll allow one of them upstairs to my room. They are allowed to sleep on the floor or at the foot of the bed. I've compromised for an ex in the past and relegated the dogs either to the floor or out the room completely. The key word is compromise; he wanted something, I wanted something else, we met in the middle. Try to remember that as hard as it is for you to understand, clearly your OH does enjoy having her dog in bed with her. It might not be to your taste, but out of respect for your OH you owe it to her to be open minded to that.

If the dog was a rescue, then chances are he had a bad past. Don't resent him for building up such a strong bond with your OH. You have your job, your friends, your family, he has only her. Animals with a troubled past often have a certain wisdom about them and love their owners even more than normal once they find someone they can trust. I'm not surprised he follows your OH everywhere, this is typical needy behaviour of an animal who has had an unpleasant past. He was dumped by his last owners, how is he supposed to know your OH isn't going to dump him? But it can be overcome, you can slowly build up the time he is alone until eventually he can be left happily by himself for a few hours. You can even buy toys that will keep him stimulated and busy while he's alone. If you can win the dog over then training him will be 100% easier, especially when it sounds as though your OH doesn't have the inclination to change things. Please stop using your foot to push/ kick him along, even if you insist it isn't done in a cruel way that type of contact doesn't mean anything positive to a dog and will only increase his mistrust of you.

Lastly, to those who have said having a dog in bed is filthy, how many of you shower before hitting the sack after being on the tube, bus, a night out? I dread to think of how much muck, germs and grime you end up covered with after a normal day but suffice to say many, many of the everyday objects you touch have been found to have human faecal matter on them. I know what I'd rather have on my bed

Hope you manage to find a resolve.

The dog will be around for many years to come. When it ides its replacement will do the same thing. It isn't going to get better if she won't compromise and is getting upset with you for not being happy about something. Suck it up for the duration of the relationship or leave.

Cats. Selfish little bds.

Op, the dog was there before you, the girlfriend obviously loves it and it's therefore a 'part of her' you're going to have to learn to accept. If you can't do that (quirks, animals and all), sadly you'll have to move on and let her find someone who will.

I empathise with the OP, cuddling up with your OH and finding a dog there can be most annoying.

However, it can learn; I say thsi as We, my wife and I, have a dog and it used to be very good at sleeping in its' own bed. But then we moved house several times in short succession and stayed in several hotels and it just wouldn't/couldn't settle in its' bed so got in th ehabit of curling up on (but never in) the bottom of our bed.

It never comes on my side as it always gets kicked off, as much as you can kick something on the duvet from under the duvet, but it soon learned not to go near my side. Also when I "move in for a cuddle" one word from either of us gets it off the bed pdq.... the word is "OFF"..... perhaps it would work with the OPs other half....

The amount of people here that think having the dog in/on the bed is ok is worrying!

If you live on your own and want to share your bed with the dog that's your choice. If you have a partner you need to be more considerate IMO. Imagine if a new partner came round to stay for the first time and finds themselves sharing the bed with the dog as well. Hardly appealing is it! I'd be thinking twice.

My cat used sleep at the end of the bed, met my OH and the cat was soon shut out of the bedroom. I don't have a problem with pets being inside however dogs should stay down stairs and off ALL furniture, also people that let their cats roam about on the kitchen work surfaces is a bit wrong as well!