Has anyone used a private detective?
Discussion
AyBee said:
Do you come on PH and search "Council Baby" or "CB" to find where you're mentioned? 
Nope, I offer free training to the lounge regulars and they let me know.
Joking aside the update came up in 'my stuff' and I was interested to know how the OP was getting on. I'm no good at advice on these sensitive subjects but do watch with a kind of sick interest.
OP - when the time is right you'll fall back into the dating thing/meet someone out of the blue.
A bit down said:
I've actually no idea what I do want out of a relationship - part of me wants to play the field and have no commitments but as well as not being very good at it, I've always been completely loyal and faithful and I'm just not tuned in to "signals" that may indicate interest. The other part of me wants someone for the longer term, but that's a needle in a haystack and I do know that (although I do understand that everyone is different) it will be a long time before I can properly trust anyone again. I've considered online dating but it seems very impersonal and numbers-based. For the time being, I'm following my old Grandmother's advice - "when in doubt, do nowt". The downside of this is that one day I'll wake up wearing a Forever Alone t-shirt.
I found someone internet dating. Exactly the type of person I'd have chosen in real life, had our paths ever crossed. I'm a complex person and quite a fussy old bugger, so, if I can do it, anyone can.
'Trust' can be as easy or as difficult as you want to make it. The answer to whether or not you can trust someone, is to just trust them.
A bit down said:
mu0n said:
I read the most of this thread but quit on page 70-something.
OP split ways with ex and now seeing other birds?
Is that the jist of it?
It's nowhere near that exciting. Sadly, there are no other birds involved. Other than that, a pretty good summary of the 70 pages OP split ways with ex and now seeing other birds?
Is that the jist of it?
So thanks for the entertainment and glad you seem to have got yourself sorted.
Get stuck into some nice girlies. Once the weight of a relationship as been lifted, I find it really refreshing and I always have a great time between girlfriends (although your circumstance is A LOT different).
Mobile Chicane said:
I found someone internet dating.
Exactly the type of person I'd have chosen in real life, had our paths ever crossed. I'm a complex person and quite a fussy old bugger, so, if I can do it, anyone can.
'Trust' can be as easy or as difficult as you want to make it. The answer to whether or not you can trust someone, is to just trust them.
Ah complex perhaps, but a very nice person IMO Exactly the type of person I'd have chosen in real life, had our paths ever crossed. I'm a complex person and quite a fussy old bugger, so, if I can do it, anyone can.
'Trust' can be as easy or as difficult as you want to make it. The answer to whether or not you can trust someone, is to just trust them.
I think it was around the time I hit 30 that I realised I'm quite a complex character myself and can be very moody and selfish at times, whilst being very giving and accommodating at others. How I found such a wonderful future wife is actually beyond me!
t postings to come! Probably time for an update (even if just for myself as reading back through the thread reminds me of a lot of things that went on that I'd forgotten, so...."dear diary..." :-)
My head is quite a lot clearer now and my mood generally a lot lighter. I've got my sense of humour and fun back and I've really noticed that reflected in the people around me - I seem to be "attracting" people now whereas (apart from my friends and family) I haven't met many new people in the last year.
The children are doing well and I'm really enjoying watching them grow. I'm still having to do the majority of the parenting but that's fine and they are continuing their journey into (I hope) becoming decent little people. They're really excited about Christmas and for the first time in a while I've booked quite a bit of time off to decompress - I'm really looking forward to it too.
X is going through her own emotional battles. Her health issues appear to have cleared up now and up until recently she has been very friendly and accommodating. Then last week she outright asked me if we could give it another go. This was extremely difficult to manage as I know the type of person she is and I would have been making trouble for myself if I answered in the wrong way so I just let her down gently. It's interesting to me that I didn't entertain the prospect of it happening, even for a second, which tells me that I've properly moved on and I'm very pleased about that. She's not so happy but she doesn't need me to point out that this is a situation mostly of her own making. Speaking of moving on....
Over the last few weeks a switch seems to have flipped in me and I'm suddenly open to other female options. Last weekend an old friend came to stay and although nothing physical happened, I'm fairly sure it could have if I'd wanted it to. I'm not wanting to risk the friendship but I've invited her back over the holidays so we'll see where that goes - I suspect friends with benefits would suit us both but I think the world of her so we'll see. I'm also due to have a chat tonight with a friend of a friend who looks stunning in photos (and amazingly doesn't appear to have been put off by mine) and we'll see how that goes.
In summary, it's been a hell of a last 12 months. I suspect I've taken longer than most to let myself recover but there was never any rush and I'm glad I did. I'm more or less back to my old self, my children are doing well and there are interesting things going on in my life. I'm proud of the way I have conducted myself over the last 12-18 months and I've learned a lot about myself. 2014 looks really exciting and I'll self-indulgently update the thread when appropriate.
As a note to the (apparently many) others in the same situation - it hurt like hell at the time but I've got no regrets and it definitely gets better. Good luck!
My head is quite a lot clearer now and my mood generally a lot lighter. I've got my sense of humour and fun back and I've really noticed that reflected in the people around me - I seem to be "attracting" people now whereas (apart from my friends and family) I haven't met many new people in the last year.
The children are doing well and I'm really enjoying watching them grow. I'm still having to do the majority of the parenting but that's fine and they are continuing their journey into (I hope) becoming decent little people. They're really excited about Christmas and for the first time in a while I've booked quite a bit of time off to decompress - I'm really looking forward to it too.
X is going through her own emotional battles. Her health issues appear to have cleared up now and up until recently she has been very friendly and accommodating. Then last week she outright asked me if we could give it another go. This was extremely difficult to manage as I know the type of person she is and I would have been making trouble for myself if I answered in the wrong way so I just let her down gently. It's interesting to me that I didn't entertain the prospect of it happening, even for a second, which tells me that I've properly moved on and I'm very pleased about that. She's not so happy but she doesn't need me to point out that this is a situation mostly of her own making. Speaking of moving on....
Over the last few weeks a switch seems to have flipped in me and I'm suddenly open to other female options
. Last weekend an old friend came to stay and although nothing physical happened, I'm fairly sure it could have if I'd wanted it to. I'm not wanting to risk the friendship but I've invited her back over the holidays so we'll see where that goes - I suspect friends with benefits would suit us both but I think the world of her so we'll see. I'm also due to have a chat tonight with a friend of a friend who looks stunning in photos (and amazingly doesn't appear to have been put off by mine) and we'll see how that goes.In summary, it's been a hell of a last 12 months. I suspect I've taken longer than most to let myself recover but there was never any rush and I'm glad I did. I'm more or less back to my old self, my children are doing well and there are interesting things going on in my life. I'm proud of the way I have conducted myself over the last 12-18 months and I've learned a lot about myself. 2014 looks really exciting and I'll self-indulgently update the thread when appropriate.
As a note to the (apparently many) others in the same situation - it hurt like hell at the time but I've got no regrets and it definitely gets better. Good luck!
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff