Has anyone used a private detective?
Discussion
A bit down said:
Then last week she outright asked me if we could give it another go. This was extremely difficult to manage as I know the type of person she is and I would have been making trouble for myself if I answered in the wrong way so I just let her down gently.
Bravo! 
I told you it'd get better! I spent this morning, my lads sixth birthday, with his mum (my ex) and sister opening his presents. It's nice to be able to do things like that. I hope you get to this sort of situation too!
Edited by DaveL485 on Tuesday 17th December 09:32
DaveL485 said:
Bravo!
I told you it'd get better! I spent this morning, my lads sixth birthday, with his mum (my ex) and sister opening his presents. It's nice to be able to do things like that. I hope you get to this sort of situation too!
IMO that is also how it should be after such a split. Not together, but both there for the kid(s) at the right times!I told you it'd get better! I spent this morning, my lads sixth birthday, with his mum (my ex) and sister opening his presents. It's nice to be able to do things like that. I hope you get to this sort of situation too!
I'll be seeing my kids on Christmas day so I can't complain!
Nah, I'm a righty 
Morning, thanks for asking. Another few months have flown by!
Interesting times - just after Christmas X pushed very hard to give things another go. She suggested that things would be very different and that she had learned her lesson (she also suggested that the children are "really struggling", which certainly isn't my experience - I suspect she knows this is a weak spot for me). She was certainly very contrite. I'm absolutely not interested and made that extremely (but politely) clear - she seems to struggle with the fact that as adults we are allowed to make decisions that affect our lives but we must absolutely then live with the consequences. It was also pretty clear (to me at least) that she hasn't suddenly remembered how fabulous I am and what a mistake that she made, it's just that she has now had 18 months or so of seeing what it's like to live in the real world and she doesn't like it. I do feel quite sorry for her as she just seems very unhappy. Hopefully with a bit more time she can move on, she has a lot of her life ahead and I hope she will be happy.
The kids are great, I'm really enjoying my time with them and our routine is good. My daughter is thriving at high school, has a lot of friends and is doing very well academically and my son actually looks forward to going to school now. He still doesn't really understand why his mum and I aren't together and does sometimes ask if we will all be back together one day. I just think he needs time to mature a bit further and get used to things. I'll always answer his questions as well as I can and there is no rush.
I'm still busy at work but have found a bit more balance now which is great. It will always take as much from me as I'm prepared to give so nothing changes there.
On the personal front, I caved in and joined a dating website just before Christmas
. I read a lot of the Match.com thread and spoke to other people who had gone that route and just decided to go for it whilst steeling myself for some interesting experiences. I put quite a lot of thought and effort into my profile and it's very reflective of me. I was very lucky in that I received quite a few responses quickly and I've basically spent the last few months dating, meeting people and easing myself back into life. I think I have met 10-12 women face to face (and I have definitely had some extremely interesting experiences!) and one in particular seems to be going very well - to the point where she is the only person I am seeing at the moment. It's obviously very early days and I'm absolutely not in any kind of hurry so we'll just take it as it goes.
. I hope the prospect of this feeling makes someone else feel better somewhere because it's worth it.
All that said, if I come back on here in another three months to tell you of my wedding plans, those of you who know where I am or how to get in touch are hereby invited to come around and punch me in the face. Hard.
Thanks again for reading, and thank you for all the support - it really does make a huge difference.
Morning, thanks for asking. Another few months have flown by!
Interesting times - just after Christmas X pushed very hard to give things another go. She suggested that things would be very different and that she had learned her lesson (she also suggested that the children are "really struggling", which certainly isn't my experience - I suspect she knows this is a weak spot for me). She was certainly very contrite. I'm absolutely not interested and made that extremely (but politely) clear - she seems to struggle with the fact that as adults we are allowed to make decisions that affect our lives but we must absolutely then live with the consequences. It was also pretty clear (to me at least) that she hasn't suddenly remembered how fabulous I am and what a mistake that she made, it's just that she has now had 18 months or so of seeing what it's like to live in the real world and she doesn't like it. I do feel quite sorry for her as she just seems very unhappy. Hopefully with a bit more time she can move on, she has a lot of her life ahead and I hope she will be happy.
The kids are great, I'm really enjoying my time with them and our routine is good. My daughter is thriving at high school, has a lot of friends and is doing very well academically and my son actually looks forward to going to school now. He still doesn't really understand why his mum and I aren't together and does sometimes ask if we will all be back together one day. I just think he needs time to mature a bit further and get used to things. I'll always answer his questions as well as I can and there is no rush.
I'm still busy at work but have found a bit more balance now which is great. It will always take as much from me as I'm prepared to give so nothing changes there.
On the personal front, I caved in and joined a dating website just before Christmas
. I read a lot of the Match.com thread and spoke to other people who had gone that route and just decided to go for it whilst steeling myself for some interesting experiences. I put quite a lot of thought and effort into my profile and it's very reflective of me. I was very lucky in that I received quite a few responses quickly and I've basically spent the last few months dating, meeting people and easing myself back into life. I think I have met 10-12 women face to face (and I have definitely had some extremely interesting experiences!) and one in particular seems to be going very well - to the point where she is the only person I am seeing at the moment. It's obviously very early days and I'm absolutely not in any kind of hurry so we'll just take it as it goes.- **Mumsnet alert - alpha males please stop reading now (not that you'd be reading this thread anyway....)****
. I hope the prospect of this feeling makes someone else feel better somewhere because it's worth it.All that said, if I come back on here in another three months to tell you of my wedding plans, those of you who know where I am or how to get in touch are hereby invited to come around and punch me in the face. Hard.
Thanks again for reading, and thank you for all the support - it really does make a huge difference.
Edited by A bit down on Wednesday 5th March 10:08
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