Has anyone used a private detective?
Discussion
Thanks for asking.
Nothing further from X at all beyond the normal logistical stuff which isn't too surprising. She's working quite a lot over Christmas and I'm off for all of it so I've got the kids for most of the time which is great.
Just to show that these updates are all about timing, I decided last week to "put myself out there" a bit as my outlook has improved (some very good counselling helped here) and I've lined up several dates/activities over the holidays during the time I have free - looking forward to it :-).
It's interesting for me to note that my mood has been fairly low around relationships (and if I'm honest around most things other than my kids) for quite a while and I realised I wasn't lifting myself out of it. Having an hour with a counsellor every couple of weeks has really helped me to understand my thoughts and feelings better and my general mood and demeanour has lifted considerably. I'd encourage anyone in the same boat to give consideration to speaking to someone - there's no shame in needing a bit of help from time to time, even if it took me a while to realise it.
Hope everyone else is doing OK.
Nothing further from X at all beyond the normal logistical stuff which isn't too surprising. She's working quite a lot over Christmas and I'm off for all of it so I've got the kids for most of the time which is great.
Just to show that these updates are all about timing, I decided last week to "put myself out there" a bit as my outlook has improved (some very good counselling helped here) and I've lined up several dates/activities over the holidays during the time I have free - looking forward to it :-).
It's interesting for me to note that my mood has been fairly low around relationships (and if I'm honest around most things other than my kids) for quite a while and I realised I wasn't lifting myself out of it. Having an hour with a counsellor every couple of weeks has really helped me to understand my thoughts and feelings better and my general mood and demeanour has lifted considerably. I'd encourage anyone in the same boat to give consideration to speaking to someone - there's no shame in needing a bit of help from time to time, even if it took me a while to realise it.
Hope everyone else is doing OK.
It seems appropriate to provide a bit of an update. I went on a few dates before Christmas with a more open and enthusiastic outlook and it was very positive. All the dates went well but in most cases I didn't feel a "spark"
However, with one woman I really did - and she did. We've seen a lot of each other over the last couple of weeks and it's difficult to imagine how things could be going any better. We're really well suited, are very attracted to each other and get along brilliantly.
I'm obviously trying to keep a sensible pace and we'll see how it goes but I haven't felt this happy in ages :-). My big learning from this is that once I let myself be open to things, something brilliant came along. Funny how fate can intervene when it wants to :-).
If anyone's at the low point right now there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel :-).
However, with one woman I really did - and she did. We've seen a lot of each other over the last couple of weeks and it's difficult to imagine how things could be going any better. We're really well suited, are very attracted to each other and get along brilliantly.
I'm obviously trying to keep a sensible pace and we'll see how it goes but I haven't felt this happy in ages :-). My big learning from this is that once I let myself be open to things, something brilliant came along. Funny how fate can intervene when it wants to :-).
If anyone's at the low point right now there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel :-).
Thanks for the kind words all.
Point taken re X - I'd actually forgotten about her :-). She sent me a text just before midnight on new year's eve - clearly well considered and well worded (rather than a drunken rant), taking full responsibility for what happened, offering an unreserved apology and suggesting it's time to properly move on. Obviously (as those who are familiar with this thread will be well aware) it wasn't all her fault but I reciprocated and it does feel like another barrier between us has been removed. Another reason to be cheerful! I still won't be telling her about new person for a while though... :-)
Feels good to have a positive mindset about the future :-). I'll keep you updated periodically.
Point taken re X - I'd actually forgotten about her :-). She sent me a text just before midnight on new year's eve - clearly well considered and well worded (rather than a drunken rant), taking full responsibility for what happened, offering an unreserved apology and suggesting it's time to properly move on. Obviously (as those who are familiar with this thread will be well aware) it wasn't all her fault but I reciprocated and it does feel like another barrier between us has been removed. Another reason to be cheerful! I still won't be telling her about new person for a while though... :-)
Feels good to have a positive mindset about the future :-). I'll keep you updated periodically.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff