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nadger

558 posts

25 months

[news] 
Saturday 15th September 2012 quote quote all
My missus is a jeweller, and regularly makes engagement and wedding rings. Her advice to people who want to propose without knowing a ring size is buy the best diamond you can afford and propose with that, allowing the recipient to help with the design ensuring that everyone is happy!
HTH (if that is any help!)
Good luck with the proposal.

Zwolf

24,513 posts

91 months

[news] 
Sunday 16th September 2012 quote quote all
I proposed without a ring.

We bought the engagement ring and wedding rings (separately) a couple of days before the wedding, she chose my wedding ring without me even looking at any and it's perfect.

We each visited all the jewellers in the town we were in on different days. Naturally she had a look at all the possibilities I might decide to plonk on her finger after I'd already been around.

Turns out I'd chosen her favourite one first, then carried on going around all the other jewellers not finding anything better, so went back and bought it. My ring came from the same shop and the same sales lady as I bought hers from.

Sizing was easy enough, I tried her previous wedding ring on my own little finger before we set off, cut a small mark in my skin where it went down to, which was then still just visible the few days later when I tried on the ring size thingies. She still doesn't know exactly how I got the sizing right without any trial fitting.

Best of luck with it all. biggrin

elvismiggell

1,253 posts

36 months

[news] 
Sunday 16th September 2012 quote quote all
I picked hers before proposing, having a pretty good idea of what she likes.

She loved it, and we got it resized.

Jeweller was fine with swapping / returning it if need be.

325Ti

287 posts

31 months

[news] 
Sunday 16th September 2012 quote quote all
Another vote here for picking it yourself.

Make sure you do your homework, look at the type of things she wears - simple and plain or bright and showy.

If any friends have got engaged recently her reaction to their rings should also help.

Make sure you find a good shop who explain all about size, cuts and colours of diamonds. And that they will exchange if needed.

I did all this and picked her ring myself. She loved it and when offered the chance to change she refused. Size was wrong but I had agreed with the shop that they would resize it as part of the deal.

Even years later after getting married I still get brownie points for picking it myself and her friends all said they wished their husbands had done the same.

325Ti

287 posts

31 months

[news] 
Sunday 16th September 2012 quote quote all
Another vote here for picking it yourself.

Make sure you do your homework, look at the type of things she wears - simple and plain or bright and showy.

If any friends have got engaged recently her reaction to their rings should also help.

Make sure you find a good shop who explain all about size, cuts and colours of diamonds. And that they will exchange if needed.

I did all this and picked her ring myself. She loved it and when offered the chance to change she refused. Size was wrong but I had agreed with the shop that they would resize it as part of the deal.

Even years later after getting married I still get brownie points for picking it myself and her friends all said they wished their husbands had done the same.
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m444ttb

1,758 posts

114 months

[news] 
Sunday 16th September 2012 quote quote all
I did it without a ring. My wife is particularly choosy when it comes to thinks like that so I knew my chances of getting it right were slim. Turns out that nearly 3 years after we got engaged she doesn't like the ring she picked anyway! Apparently it catches on too much stuff so she just wears her wedding ring.

MrFrodo

Original Poster:

20,725 posts

127 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
Right, I'm definitely going for presenting the main ring on the day.

I've got a couple of points of reference to estimate a ring size and I'm going to make sure the design is suitable for resizing if needs be.

I'm tending towards a rather traditional band design in gold with a solitaire diamond.

My principle remaining dilemma is whether or not to speak to her mum beforehand. They're very close and I'm worried she'd spill the beans! It's quite a secret to keep for the next month or so (I am aware of the irony of stating that publicly on the internet wink)

Riknos

4,265 posts

89 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
MrFrodo said:
Right, I'm definitely going for presenting the main ring on the day.

I've got a couple of points of reference to estimate a ring size and I'm going to make sure the design is suitable for resizing if needs be.

I'm tending towards a rather traditional band design in gold with a solitaire diamond.

My principle remaining dilemma is whether or not to speak to her mum beforehand. They're very close and I'm worried she'd spill the beans! It's quite a secret to keep for the next month or so (I am aware of the irony of stating that publicly on the internet wink)
I would agree with this. I'm currently shopping for a ring for my OH at the moment. I've done a lot of research on clarity of diamonds, as I'm looking to buy online - Mainly because gold and diamonds seem to be cheaper out in the states, where she lives, so will be purchasing it there. Might be worth a look? May have to pay import taxes which could remove any savings.

I'm lucky in that my OH has hinted at rings, as much as showing me ones she likes that she has found online, so I've got the style in mind.

I personally like cluster/starburst diamonds - they make the diamonds look bigger, so it looks like you spent more hehe

HRL

363 posts

104 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
I picked up one of her rings while she was having a bath and put it on my thumb so that I could guage the ring size.

Picked a classic solitaire in white gold and used the measuring rings instore on my thumb until I found one that seemed to match. When she tried it on it fit perfectly. Got to get brownie points for effort if it fits, surely?

Thankfully she was happy with the solitaire.

chalkey

89 posts

26 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
keep in mind if you go for 18ct white gold it needs to be replated every few years otherwise its goes dull, just got the wifeys done for her again

andyjo1982

4,471 posts

95 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
Just read this thread through. Have I missed your budget? I too went nightmare, and went to his shop with the intention of designing one, but in the end, my budget wasn't really big enough and after and hour or so, I settled on a solitare diamond ring, which he done for a really good price.

If you're worried about the sizing, try and find a picture where she is wearing a ring on her right hand marriage finger, find the ring and take it with you to the jewellers. That worked perfect for me...

The OH loved it, all of her friends thought it was nice and the proposal all went to plan.

I'd say its much better to propose with the ring, and defo ask her mum first.

Good luck

Gazzas86

1,094 posts

56 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
My OH is really starting to put a little pressure on/dropping hints as to me dropping the question. It's in her nature as shes a 'planner' and has been all through her life. Likes her lists also, We've been together for 5 years, have a mortgage for the last year. On the car journey to London this weekend she even went through the 'exact' details of how she want's her to be, she started waffling words about.. Princess Cut, Shoulder Diamonds, 0.7 Clarity blah blah. And also said she 'expects' it within the next 12 months.... My response to all of this was... You will get a ring when i get to play with you're ring... the balls in her court..

Gaz

HRL

363 posts

104 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
Gazzas86 said:
And also said she 'expects' it within the next 12 months....Gaz
And you didn't pull over on the hard shoulder and make her get out?

Gazzas86

1,094 posts

56 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
HRL said:
Gazzas86 said:
And also said she 'expects' it within the next 12 months....Gaz
And you didn't pull over on the hard shoulder and make her get out?
She was driving in her car.... Maybe she planned it all in advance so i couldn't hhmm

wiggy001

3,207 posts

156 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
WhereamI said:
I really don't understand why you would buy it without her involvement, how do you know what she wants and since she's going to have to wear it all the time I'd have thought her view would be vital.

When we got engaged we went and bought the ring together and I'd have never found the one we ended up with on my own.
May I suggest that if you don't understand your girlfriend's taste in jewellery then you probably shouldn't be committing the rest of your life to her?

OP: I used Blue Nile (google them) for a ring, but be prepared to spend a lot of time speccing it up. As previously mentioned, go for a decent diamond rather than the biggest you can afford. It's the sparkle that will get the wow factor, not the size.

MrFrodo

Original Poster:

20,725 posts

127 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
andyjo1982 said:
Just read this thread through. Have I missed your budget? I too went nightmare, and went to his shop with the intention of designing one, but in the end, my budget wasn't really big enough and after and hour or so, I settled on a solitare diamond ring, which he done for a really good price.

If you're worried about the sizing, try and find a picture where she is wearing a ring on her right hand marriage finger, find the ring and take it with you to the jewellers. That worked perfect for me...
Yep, I've chatted to Howard about the budget. It's relatively modest, so I'm going for a simple band and the best diamond he can procure with the remainder.

For a minute I was worried I wasn't very observant, but I've been scouring the photo albums and she really doesn't wear rings very often. The only photo I've got for a reference point shows a ring on her second finger - maybe they can infer something if I get the size of that? I've also been intently comparing her fingers to mine and I reckon I need something about half way between my little finger and my third finger.

Still don't know whether to call her mum. Presumably ring sizes - no sniggering at the back - aren't really something they'd discuss anyway?

Vocal Minority

3,695 posts

37 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
Good choice on doing it yourself. I think the gesture is huge and the rign will be symbolic of it. Personally I think taking the lady shopping for it is deeply unromantic (but I understand people are different!).

Ring her Mum too. Good in law points there. Fiver says they both love the gesture.

nadger

558 posts

25 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
Apparently if she wears a ring on the same finger on the right hand, the left hand is normally a size smaller (if she's right handed, otherwise if left a ssize larger!)

WhereamI

6,887 posts

102 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
wiggy001 said:
WhereamI said:
I really don't understand why you would buy it without her involvement, how do you know what she wants and since she's going to have to wear it all the time I'd have thought her view would be vital.

When we got engaged we went and bought the ring together and I'd have never found the one we ended up with on my own.
May I suggest that if you don't understand your girlfriend's taste in jewellery then you probably shouldn't be committing the rest of your life to her?
Well it's our silver wedding anniversary next year so we must be doing something right.

Actus Reus

2,345 posts

40 months

[news] 
Monday 17th September 2012 quote quote all
Yep - pick it yourself. And another vote for Nightmare's assistance too.

When out shopping I stopped at the window of Ernest Jones to look at watches, but gradually made my way down to look at rings and asked her to point out a few she liked, thus giving me an idea of the setting and especially number of stones she'd like.

I then worked out a budget, spoke to Nightmare, and 7 months later I was married. Easy. And expensive.
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