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MrFrodo

Original Poster:

20,751 posts

130 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
In the not too distant future I intend to propose to my girlfriend. I have a date in mind for the proposal and thoughts have turned to the ring (or possibly rings).

My plan was to find the best ring I could afford - my budget is pretty tight - make an educated guess at the right size and then pop the question with it. That all seemed nice and simple.

Virtually everyone I've since spoken to, however, has waited until the engagement was accepted and then taken their fiancée to choose the ring together. Some have used a cheaper ring for token symbolism when they actually popped the question; some didn't even do that.

What do you lot think? smile

There's no way I'm doing it without a ring of some sort, so I guess it comes down to two options:

1) Make my best attempt at getting the right ring first time
2) Use a basic ring for the actual question and then go to purchase the 'proper' one together later on

In some respects I'm quite lucky my girlfriend isn't especially materialistic. Within reason, I can't see her objecting violently to any particular style and I guess you can get resizing done anywhere if needs be. Also, my slight concern about using two rings is that, however nice the second one is, it would be the first one that had the greater symbolic significance. If that always reminds her of the proposal (and I hope it would do) then wouldn't the second ring be a little redundant?

Grenoble

14,553 posts

43 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
Buy a ring.

Keep it simple.

Pick a small but nice stone at a price you can afford (ignore the old 3x monthly salary rubbish).

Ensure that the shop will agree (in writing) to taking it back at no cost to you if she says no, or to part ex against another one.

Most good shops will agree to the last point.

Read up on diamonds, etc and don't be afraid to haggle....

retrobob

1,800 posts

77 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
Choose the ring together >




And tell all her girlfriends before you ask her > it's a PH tradition > laugh

M.J.S

93 posts

69 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
There are a few people on here that know their diamonds... Nightmare helped with the selection and ring creation for me. Its definitely worth a chat with him.


Sonic

3,715 posts

95 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
Propose with the ring, you hopefully only get to do it once.

PM Nightmare who will sort you out with the ring, i can't recommend him enough after he sorted my wife's engagement ring and our wedding rings thumbup
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MrFrodo

Original Poster:

20,751 posts

130 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
The early consensus seems to be getting a single ring before popping the question.

I'll drop Nightmare a line, I guess this is more a question for him, but how long does it take to get a ring made up? Thinking about it, my intended date is only a matter of weeks away now. Eek.

ali_kat

27,220 posts

109 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
Another vote for Nightmare here smile

vladcjelli

1,990 posts

46 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
Mini lol at thread topic - "One ring to rule them all?" and username crossover.

WhereamI

6,887 posts

105 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
I really don't understand why you would buy it without her involvement, how do you know what she wants and since she's going to have to wear it all the time I'd have thought her view would be vital.

When we got engaged we went and bought the ring together and I'd have never found the one we ended up with on my own.

retrobob

1,800 posts

77 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
WhereamI said:
I really don't understand why you would buy it without her involvement, how do you know what she wants and since she's going to have to wear it all the time I'd have thought her view would be vital.

When we got engaged we went and bought the ring together and I'd have never found the one we ended up with on my own.
OP take note >

richardxjr

4,220 posts

98 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
WhereamI said:
I really don't understand why you would buy it without her involvement, how do you know what she wants and since she's going to have to wear it all the time I'd have thought her view would be vital.

When we got engaged we went and bought the ring together and I'd have never found the one we ended up with on my own.
I did this. No problems with that shopping trip; had a little break on Jersey and bought there; no VAT wink


chalkey

89 posts

29 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
I chose my now wifes ring on my own, i spent alot of time looking for the right one and took what she would want into considerastion, she loves it, even more so because it has abit of my style in it aswell. I got her mum and sister to help with the size and god knows how but i got it spot on first time

to do it propperly you have to man up and present a nice ring in my honest opionion the fact she will know you have gone and done it off your own back will go along way, anyway she will get to choose her wedding ring so keep that in mind also

MrFrodo

Original Poster:

20,751 posts

130 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
WhereamI said:
I really don't understand why you would buy it without her involvement, how do you know what she wants and since she's going to have to wear it all the time I'd have thought her view would be vital.
Quite a few people have said things to that effect.

I know all engagements are special and I don't mean any disrespect to people who've done this differently, but if it was me receiving the ring I think the significance of the moment would be more important than the aesthetics of the ring itself. I'm pretty sure my girlfriend would look at it the same way. She likes pretty things as much as the next girl, but she's never gone in for designer shoes or anything like that.

I know people propose with Hula Hoops and all sorts before getting a proper ring, but I can see her treasuring the Hula Hoop more than the ring if I did that! She's the sort of sentimental individual who still has the first Christmas cards we gave each other.

MX7

7,902 posts

62 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
Don't buy a ring before you ask her. When you ask her, have a cable tie and side cutters at the ready and buy the ring the next day, if she's the sort of person who wants more than a cable tie.

Keyser Soze

14,451 posts

79 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
I ummed and arred about this for ages, spoke to my brother at length he put it like this

"She knows you like cars and knows what car you want next yes?"
"Yeah an M3"
"Ok so as a surprise she goes and buys you an M3 how do you feel?"
"Brilliant, Great, Love it"
"Its the Mustard Yellow one with Green Individual Seats"
"Ummmmmmmmmm"
"And you have to drive it for the rest of your life"
"OK gotcha"

In the end I made a wooden one on my brothers lathe and used that and we went shopping together

And make sure you ask her dad!


ETA: have now seen your comment about Hula Hoops so feel I should expand

Marriage had previously been discussed and I said I would of course love to marry her but didn't know if I would be able to save up enough

She said "You could propose with a Hula Hoop for all I care"

So when I decided I would like the ring to be her choice I decided to use a Hula Hoop, but I sprayed it Silver. Silver Paint eats into Hula Hoops FYI

Hence me making a Hula Hoop out of wood

And yes it is very treasured and kept safe in a little box, in some ways it is more special than the ring we bought but it takes nothing away from her actual proper ring at all

Edited by Keyser Soze on Friday 14th September 17:28

Sir Bagalot

3,241 posts

69 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
So you're thinking of choosing a ring that she wears for the rest of the life? NO

Propose, and if she accepts, at first available chance go ring shopping

WhereamI

6,887 posts

105 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
chalkey said:
I chose my now wifes ring on my own, i spent alot of time looking for the right one and took what she would want into considerastion, she loves it, even more so because it has abit of my style in it aswell. I got her mum and sister to help with the size and god knows how but i got it spot on first time

to do it propperly you have to man up and present a nice ring in my honest opionion the fact she will know you have gone and done it off your own back will go along way, anyway she will get to choose her wedding ring so keep that in mind also
But the problem is that if she wants to marry you there is every chance that she'll say she likes it whatever she really feels about it. At the very least I'd say you need to arrange with whoever supplies it that you can take it back and exchange for another one if she doesn't like it.

Choosing the wedding ring is easy, gold band, job done - or at least it was when we did it.

Keyser Soze

14,451 posts

79 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
WhereamI said:


Choosing the wedding ring is easy, gold band, job done - or at least it was when we did it.
Palladium or Platinum seem to be the metals du jour

WhereamI

6,887 posts

105 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
Keyser Soze said:
WhereamI said:


Choosing the wedding ring is easy, gold band, job done - or at least it was when we did it.
Palladium or Platinum seem to be the metals du jour
Really? Dear God, what is the world coming to? It wasn't like that in my day smile

Rude-boy

18,990 posts

121 months

[news] 
Friday 14th September 2012 quote quote all
I bought, in 100% honesty a fairly simple, nice looking and realtively cheap ring that looked about the right size to 'do the deed' which was done here on Cristmas Day:-



As soon as she had accepted I explained that it was a 'holding ring' and that I would like to get her a 'proper' ring together. As time has passed I have remined her of my promise but she is quite happy with the one she has. One day we will get one made up with a small piece of Icelandic Rock we picked up at the time of asking set in there but she can't make up her mind if she wants to use the diamonds in the 'holding' ring or to buy new ones.
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