Wife wants sprog Christened - I don't.
Discussion
Sometime in the next few days the wife is going to be dropping a sprog. Whilst this already represents something of a personal failure, wife is now on about the christening. Whilst she isn't exactly a religious fanatic (her family are all methodists but all capable of drinking large amounts at parties and family gatherings), she does believe in god. I have no issue with that, nor does she have an issue with the fact that I do not believe at all. However, she wants sprog christened within a couple of months of being born (early December is when she wants it).
I can't agree with this. Why not let sprog grow up, make her own choices and if she wants to believe the world was created by a bored deity who had a week spare and fancied doing a bit of landscaping, then fine. Mrs S has said the christening is tradition as much as anything else, which to me seems pointless. It's almost like saying I should go and have a case of chicken pox because everyone else has.
I just don't see what the problem is with letting sprog decide when she grows up. If the wife wants to celebrate sprogs appearance on the planet, why not just have a party?
Over to you...
I can't agree with this. Why not let sprog grow up, make her own choices and if she wants to believe the world was created by a bored deity who had a week spare and fancied doing a bit of landscaping, then fine. Mrs S has said the christening is tradition as much as anything else, which to me seems pointless. It's almost like saying I should go and have a case of chicken pox because everyone else has.
I just don't see what the problem is with letting sprog decide when she grows up. If the wife wants to celebrate sprogs appearance on the planet, why not just have a party?
Over to you...
If I were in your position I'd not care whether my child was Christened or not. I don't believe in any of it, the ceremony is meaningless to me, but if it kept my wife happy then that's fine.
Equally, if the child grows up to not care, then they won't care they've been Christened because it won't mean anything to them.
I imagine it would mean more to my wife to have it done than it would to me to not and it's not a battle I'm remotely bothered about fighting on my, or anyone else's behalf.
Of course, you may feel strongly about it, I can only give my perspective.
ETA and yeah, I echo the comments about "personal failure"...what?!
Equally, if the child grows up to not care, then they won't care they've been Christened because it won't mean anything to them.
I imagine it would mean more to my wife to have it done than it would to me to not and it's not a battle I'm remotely bothered about fighting on my, or anyone else's behalf.
Of course, you may feel strongly about it, I can only give my perspective.
ETA and yeah, I echo the comments about "personal failure"...what?!
My parents mulled it over and in the end decided they would let me decide, my uncle was a reverend (sp?) at a Pentecostal (sp?) church and never argued or pushed them and I am greatful for that, I decided not to be christened and it made no difference to my relation with my uncle or anyone else.
Having the choice was great and as I said, I am greatful for the choice.
Having the choice was great and as I said, I am greatful for the choice.
DrTre said:
If I were in your position I'd not care whether my child was Christened or not. I don't believe in any of it, the ceremony is meaningless to me, but if it kept my wife happy then that's fine.
Equally, if the child grows up to not care, then they won't care they've been Christened because it won't mean anything to them.
I imagine it would mean more to my wife to have it done than it would to me to not and it's not a battle I'm remotely bothered about fighting on my, or anyone else's behalf.
Of course, you may feel strongly about it, I can only give my perspective.
SameEqually, if the child grows up to not care, then they won't care they've been Christened because it won't mean anything to them.
I imagine it would mean more to my wife to have it done than it would to me to not and it's not a battle I'm remotely bothered about fighting on my, or anyone else's behalf.
Of course, you may feel strongly about it, I can only give my perspective.
If it is likely to make your wife happy, do it. It's not going to blight the "sprogs" life in any way as they will happily ignore the issue of having been christened if it doesn't mean anything to them. It's not a permanent thing like circumcision... (I have no idea if I was christened - probably not as my parents were atheists, as I am I)
GTO Scott said:
Mrs S has said the christening is tradition as much as anything else
It's "the done thing"; a thing mainly done by parents who haven't set foot in a church since they were Same as getting married in a church, because it's "the done thing" or "the church is really nice".
It's b
ks. Stand your ground.Jasandjules said:
Not sure how a child represents a failure however I don't think it would be right of your wife to insist on a religious ceremony for your child if that is not your wish. What about a non-religious naming ceremony as a compromise?
I'm too selfish to deal with having a child. A child will get in the way of what I want from life, in terms of where I can go, what I can buy and how I can live. Life was getting close to how I wanted it - own house, wife, and Labrador. Harry (the Labrador) is my substitute for a child - he is my boy, doesn't need clothes (grows his own), doesn't need to go to school, is excited by the prospect of eating left-overs, gives unconditional affection even when he's just had a bking, and wants nothing more complex than a tennis ball to play with.Children are much more expensive.
As for a non-religious ceremony, she won't have that. Has to be a christening, has to be in a certain church.
We got married at Pendennis Castle - so no religious element in the marriage.
Athlon said:
My parents mulled it over and in the end decided they would let me decide ... Having the choice was great and as I said, I am greatful for the choice.
Same here. I'm the only person in my family not to have been christened. When I was around 13 my parents asked me if I wanted to be but I didn't.Having said that though, if I had been christened it wouldn't have made any difference to anything or anyone at all.
GTO Scott said:
I'm too selfish to deal with having a child. A child will get in the way of what I want from life, in terms of where I can go, what I can buy and how I can live. Life was getting close to how I wanted it - own house, wife, and Labrador. Harry (the Labrador) is my substitute for a child - he is my boy, doesn't need clothes (grows his own), doesn't need to go to school, is excited by the prospect of eating left-overs, gives unconditional affection even when he's just had a bking, and wants nothing more complex than a tennis ball to play with.
Children are much more expensive.
As for a non-religious ceremony, she won't have that. Has to be a christening, has to be in a certain church.
We got married at Pendennis Castle - so no religious element in the marriage.
Wow! king, and wants nothing more complex than a tennis ball to play with.Children are much more expensive.
As for a non-religious ceremony, she won't have that. Has to be a christening, has to be in a certain church.
We got married at Pendennis Castle - so no religious element in the marriage.
GTO Scott said:
I'm too selfish to deal with having a child.
I felt the same way about my likely parental skills, or lack thereof. That's why I've always used something called 'contraception'.
I feel that the issue of christening your daughter pales into insignificance beside the issue of your not wanting her.
GTO Scott said:
Jasandjules said:
Not sure how a child represents a failure however I don't think it would be right of your wife to insist on a religious ceremony for your child if that is not your wish. What about a non-religious naming ceremony as a compromise?
I'm too selfish to deal with having a child. A child will get in the way of what I want from life, in terms of where I can go, what I can buy and how I can live. Life was getting close to how I wanted it - own house, wife, and Labrador. Harry (the Labrador) is my substitute for a child - he is my boy, doesn't need clothes (grows his own), doesn't need to go to school, is excited by the prospect of eating left-overs, gives unconditional affection even when he's just had a bking, and wants nothing more complex than a tennis ball to play with.Children are much more expensive.
As for a non-religious ceremony, she won't have that. Has to be a christening, has to be in a certain church.
We got married at Pendennis Castle - so no religious element in the marriage.
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