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ETOPS

1,731 posts

78 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
Surely, this should only be an issue if you we're a believer/follower of another faith?

If you are atheist or agnostic, your baby being Christened will mean nothing to you, but it means something to your wife.

So, let her have her day.

daemon

10,011 posts

77 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
el stovey said:
GTO Scott said:
28. I don't suppose it would make much difference to me, but I would find it very hypocritical of myself to stand there by the font and mumble words about leading her in the Christian way when I believe differently.
You're worried about compromising your ideals WTF?

It's a christening, some bloke is going to sprinkle magic water on your baby and protect it from the devil. It's not like your baby is being indoctrinated. Are you seriously that against it or are you just angsty because of the much bigger fking issue of a child coming your way. If a christening is causing problems for you, I'd suggest getting a fking grip mate because you're not going to cope with the monumental changes you are about to have dropped on you when your baby comes along. You need to grow the fk up quickly.

It's clearly very important to your Mrs so suck it up, smile and get on with it. It's not about you it's about your wife and what's important to her. Soon it's going to be even less about you and all about your baby. Good luck.
+1

Petrolhead_Rich

4,388 posts

72 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
GTO Scott said:
Sometime in the next few days the wife is going to be dropping a sprog. Whilst this already represents something of a personal failure, wife is now on about the christening. Whilst she isn't exactly a religious fanatic (her family are all methodists but all capable of drinking large amounts at parties and family gatherings), she does believe in god. I have no issue with that, nor does she have an issue with the fact that I do not believe at all. However, she wants sprog christened within a couple of months of being born (early December is when she wants it).

I can't agree with this. Why not let sprog grow up, make her own choices and if she wants to believe the world was created by a bored deity who had a week spare and fancied doing a bit of landscaping, then fine. Mrs S has said the christening is tradition as much as anything else, which to me seems pointless. It's almost like saying I should go and have a case of chicken pox because everyone else has.

I just don't see what the problem is with letting sprog decide when she grows up. If the wife wants to celebrate sprogs appearance on the planet, why not just have a party?

Over to you...
Essentially it is a party, just a traditional one, many people still get married, is that pointless?

I was christened, I dont believe in any religion, it won't affect sprog at all, but will be a good excuse for a post christening party!

Lets face it "would you like to attend sprogs birth party" isn't as good as would you like to attend GTO Scott Jr.s Christening" is it?

Let her have her big day with sprog, have a good party afterwards, the end.

ETA (after reading the rest of the thread):

GTO Scott, you really need to decide what you want fast and grow up, being "too selfish to deal with a kid" is absolutely shocking, this poor child will be your flesh and blood, You really need to MTFU quickly!!!

Feel sorry for your OH, looks like shes gonna be a single parent in five years with an unsupporting, unloving "father" to deal with if this is your attitude now!




Edited by Petrolhead_Rich on Saturday 6th October 17:51

S10GTA

4,149 posts

47 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
Petrolhead_Rich said:
Essentially it is a party, just a traditional one, many people still get married, is that pointless?

I was christened, I dont believe in any religion, it won't affect sprog at all, but will be a good excuse for a post christening party!

Lets face it "would you like to attend sprogs birth party" isn't as good as would you like to attend GTO Scott Jr.s Christening" is it?

Let her have her big day with sprog, have a good party afterwards, the end.

ETA (after reading the rest of the thread):

GTO Scott, you really need to decide what you want fast and grow up, being "too selfish to deal with a kid" is absolutely shocking, this poor child will be your flesh and blood, You really need to MTFU quickly!!!

Feel sorry for your OH, looks like shes gonna be a single parent in five years with an unsupporting, unloving "father" to deal with if this is your attitude now!




Edited by Petrolhead_Rich on Saturday 6th October 17:51
Careful. Mocmocamoc might call you a too

okgo

22,357 posts

78 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
Can someone post that attention we picture for me, I'm on a phone...

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voyds9

4,725 posts

163 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
GTO Scott said:
johnfm said:
How long have you had the Aspergers?
Why do you think I have AS?
Because you have the ability to type what scares more than a few of us.

I had 'the snip' soon after we got married to ensure these little accidents didn't happen.

Beware of the slippery slope, 1st it's a christening, then you have to attend, next she will glare at you until you sing the hymns, then you will find yourself at the font swearing to bring the child up in the light of Christ.

gog440

6,338 posts

70 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
GTO Scott said:
Jasandjules said:
How old are you?

If there is a lot of pressure, then I suppose the question is: What difference will it truly make to your life if she does get Christened? If she was talking about taking the child to church every Sunday then that's a bit different...
28. I don't suppose it would make much difference to me, but I would find it very hypocritical of myself to stand there by the font and mumble words about leading her in the Christian way when I believe differently.
I have 3 kids my ex was slightly religious but definitely wanted them christening.I had a big ongoing arguement with her over a period of weeks about having my eldest christened, I dont agree with the whole idea of a christening but eventually I realised I had lost the argument and gave in. I did feel that I had been incredibly hypocritical by standing up in church and lying but it kept her happy. I knew there was no point arguing when our second was born so just let her get on with it.

With my second wife I knew she had been brought up catholic, she was adamant that she wanted our daughter christening, mostly because the best primary school locally is a catholic school which seemed sensible enough to me.

MadMullah

4,802 posts

73 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
aside from the public ridiculing the OP deserves...

its a christening - hell when i was a kid i went to mass etc doesnt mean i ended up a christian.

allow me to share some wisdom i learnt from performing hajj - this wisdom can only be gained by believing in a deity and no other way. hail xenu.

people grow up having free choice.

its a shocking concept

regardless of how they were born or what was done to them after they were born - it does not mean the child will grow up being a christian nutjob and blow up buildings.

  • phew*
there said it - and remember people


doodlebug

673 posts

96 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
voyds9 said:
GTO Scott said:
johnfm said:
How long have you had the Aspergers?
Why do you think I have AS?
Because you have the ability to type what scares more than a few of us.

I had 'the snip' soon after we got married to ensure these little accidents didn't happen.
Voyd, do you even know what AS is?

I'm relieved that you at least had the decency to ensure your tttishness can not be passed on.

jonah35

1,325 posts

37 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
Congratulations on bing honest op, a refreshing change. See how you feel in 6 months, itll prob change!

Laplace

787 posts

62 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
The OP should clearly convert to Islam and decide he wants the same for his daughter. Go all out and get a sheep for slaughtering at the party and invite Mo from the local Mosque round to whisper the Athan in her ear. I'm sure the wife wont mind...

I don't see why he should back down when she's not willing to compromise/discuss.

bitchstewie

9,263 posts

90 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
Laplace said:
I don't see why he should back down when she's not willing to compromise/discuss.
Don't you think there's a slight hypocrisy in getting so worked out about a ceremony for a child you don't want?

How would the conversation go, "Darling you know I don't want the child because I'm too selfish to deal with being a parent, but since we're stuck with her I need to tell you how strongly I feel about having her christened"?

Just seems.. wrong IMO.

Laplace

787 posts

62 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
bhstewie said:
Don't you think there's a slight hypocrisy in getting so worked out about a ceremony for a child you don't want?
Yes, I completely agree but as the OP is going to be the child's father, as far as we know so far, then he has a right to have a say in its upbringing.

Maybe I'm pinning too much hope on him seeing things differently once his daughter is here.

He obviously already cares as he is attempting to take part in one of the first decisions regarding his daughters life.


Edited by Laplace on Saturday 6th October 19:01

Cotty

26,632 posts

164 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
GTO Scott said:
The contraception issue was covered a few pages ago. The contraception didn't work as intended.
It tends to work 100% if both parties want it to.

GTO Scott

Original Poster:

2,604 posts

104 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
bhstewie said:
Don't you think there's a slight hypocrisy in getting so worked out about a ceremony for a child you don't want?

How would the conversation go, "Darling you know I don't want the child because I'm too selfish to deal with being a parent, but since we're stuck with her I need to tell you how strongly I feel about having her christened"?

Just seems.. wrong IMO.
I quite agree. Having had 8 months to get used to the idea, I am still no better off in terms of understanding. However I do want to make the best effort I can to give her a good upbringing, even if I struggle myself to come to terms with it.

I have moments when I wonder why it had to happen at all, and yet I also have times when I really want her to do well in life, want her not to have a childhood like mine, and to have ambitions and hope. One poster earlier implied I should not push her in any particular direction of study, but I wasn't pushed to do well and I realised far too late that no qualifications and no ambition were bad things to enter adult life with.

I can only try my best - yes, it screwed up my life plan royally, but I will make every effort to give the girl as good an upbringing as I am capable of providing. The christening is just frustrating in that no matter what I say it just seems like I'm being ignored.

gog440

6,338 posts

70 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
GTO Scott said:
I quite agree. Having had 8 months to get used to the idea, I am still no better off in terms of understanding. However I do want to make the best effort I can to give her a good upbringing, even if I struggle myself to come to terms with it.

I have moments when I wonder why it had to happen at all, and yet I also have times when I really want her to do well in life, want her not to have a childhood like mine, and to have ambitions and hope. One poster earlier implied I should not push her in any particular direction of study, but I wasn't pushed to do well and I realised far too late that no qualifications and no ambition were bad things to enter adult life with.

I can only try my best - yes, it screwed up my life plan royally, but I will make every effort to give the girl as good an upbringing as I am capable of providing. The christening is just frustrating in that no matter what I say it just seems like I'm being ignored.
Learn when to fight your battles mate.
In the big scheme of things this day means absolutely fk all, take it on the chin, keep your gob shut apart from when you have to lie to the big sky fairy and let your OH have the day she wants. Then when you want something she knows she owes you one.........

swerni

21,544 posts

90 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
Galileo said:
vixen1700 said:
I don't believe in God or Christianity, but love a good Christmas dinner and some party games afterwards like Charades, could you not think of the Christening in a similar way? smile
Sensible advice.
I'd love to see that.

It's a book
two words
First one is" The"
Second word sounds like .......................................

I'm not a christian, but even I'd go to church to see that.
smile



Edited by swerni on Saturday 6th October 19:43

VinceFox

18,412 posts

52 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
I think we're all grown up enough to see that this isnt (just) about religion. It's the beginning of the erosion of your position as an equal, based on leverage.


I've said this before and i have my umbrella up ready for the amount of st that will no doubt be rained down on me for this, but i've yet to meet any woman that i'd trust with the amount of leverage a child gives them over a man.

Flame away, but i absolutely stand by this.

Edited by VinceFox on Saturday 6th October 19:52

TwigtheWonderkid

10,035 posts

30 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
VinceFox said:
i've yet to meet any woman that i'd trust
I've condensed your post to cover all the salient points.

When/if you do meet a woman you trust, you'll realise what a bellend you sound.

VinceFox

18,412 posts

52 months

[news] 
Saturday 6th October 2012 quote quote all
TwigtheWonderkid said:
VinceFox said:
i've yet to meet any woman that i'd trust
I've condensed your post to cover all the salient points.

When/if you do meet a woman you trust, you'll realise what a bellend you sound.
I respect your right to an opinion.
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