New Teaspoon Advice Please

[Blib]

drivin_me_nuts said:

Is it time to move to the humble spork?

[Mark-C]

drivin_me_nuts said:

Yes, but the poop might hit zee pan if professor Veesprungbenz's autorotaror spoon is also found to fall foul of the twelve strokes a minute test. Truth is, the whole industry is under suspicion.

Is it time to move to the humble spork?

Sorry but I wouldn’t normally report a post to the Mods but ye gods man is there really any need to use the Spork-bomb at a time like this?

[AJS-]

Mods:
Can we get a "My Draw" tab in our profiles?

[CR6ZZ]

I have found that by balancing my cup on a small block placed over the spindle at the centre of my old turntable and setting it to 331/3 rpm I can do away with a spoon completely. What should I do with my now obsolete stirrers?

[Troubleatmill]

Has anyone else heard the rumour that a major player in the spoon industry, has been modifying a particular spoon brands' hardware to cheat on regulatory stirring tests?

[Blib]

Rohrl posted about it above. It's a disgrace.

[marshalla]

AJS- said:

Mods:
Can we get a "My Draw" tab in our profiles?

We aren't interested in artists' impressions here.

[drivin_me_nuts]

marshalla said:

AJS- said:

Mods:
Can we get a "My Draw" tab in our profiles?

We aren't interested in artists' impressions here.

But if Blib does the photography, that all we'll get.

[Hugo a Gogo]

AJS- said:

Mods:
Can we get a "My Draw" tab in our profiles?

Quick Draw McGraw?

Mods: can we get a "My Drawer" tab?

[Hugo a Gogo]

Do you ever get envious of Forkists?

[rohrl]

Hugo a Gogo said:

Do you ever get envious of Forkists?

Of course not.

There's an inescapable immaturity attached to the fork user which speaks directly to the basic fact that the fork is in essence a poorly constructed spoon. Sure, as callow youths many of us may have been tempted towards the tines but as any learned and experienced man can attest the spoon is an inestimably more satisfactory utensil when viewed in the round.

As Churchill, the great spoonsman of Chartwell himself, said "...any youth who is not tempted by the fork has no heart but any man who does not settle for the spoon has no brain..."

[mcbook]

It's been just over a month since I last posted about my fledgling spoon rental enterprise. So far, it's been a real roller-coaster with euphoric highs and, unfortunately, some devastating lows.

The industry still seems to be struggling to digest the news about Professor Doktor Loeffelspun and the metallurgy examination scandal. Personally, I'm not particularly exposed as I've run down that part of my portfolio but I do know of investors who can't stir straight due worry about resale values! Deary me.

In terms of rentals, the order book remains strong. I have been putting significant effort into the promotion of my Eastern European models and it seems to be paying off. I coined the phrase "Spooning in the Danube" for a light-hearted facebook campaign which brought in a few 'new money' customers.

I had previously mentioned that my Halstatt Carpathian no.9 [SpoonAdvisor comments include "great quality, so versatile" and "rugged beauty, stirs like a wet dream"] was fully booked until Christmas. Unfortunately, that revenue stream came crashing down last week. I had vetted a customer from Rueil Malmaison, an up-market suburb of Paris, and despatched the spoon using my favourite courier. Anyway, to cut a long story short, it was a case of identity theft and my beautiful 'Carpie' is gone. It's now probably stirring a cup of Turkish coffee in Barbes but I try not to think about that.

The silver lining is that I have a healthy insurance payout burning a hole in my pocket. I'm tempted to investigate some of the New World creations and possibly get something Australian. The Capt Cook Anniversary (Wide-face) is tempting and I'll 'Endeavour' to find a good one in good condition. However, that would be purely for personal use as I'm sure the clockwise stirring motion required of a southern-hemisphere spoon would play havoc with my customers' technique.

[DanielSan]

So what are people's opinions on the new no stirring while children are nearby law bought in as of midnight last night? Personally I think it's outrageous. How can the sport gain the interest of young stirrers if they aren't allowed to spectate by law!!

[Butter Face]

As much as I despise H&S regs when it comes to Spooning I have to agree that these latest regulations are a good thing, supervised stirring is the best way to teach children how to compete.


When I were a lad, there was a local boy; Johhny Mcgiffinston his name was. One day he came home from work early and decided to have a try out of his dad's competition spoons (his dad was a local 3 time champion and used a Vornix Stirmeister Type 44(!) ) and they found Johnny that night dead from nickel poisoning, turned out he'd used water that was too hot and stirred anti clockwise (when we all know that spoon is a clockwise only shaft) and then licked it clean.

It was the talk of the village for some while, I remember his dad; Jeffrey Mcgiffinston was his name, quit the sport and would only use plastic disposable spoons afterwards, it ruined him.

Such a shame really. If only he'd been taught responsible spoon handling (which is the point of these new regs) then it could have all been avoided.

[Hugo a Gogo]

Spoons don't kill people, people using spoons kill people

[Blib]

I'll just leave this here.

[NDA]

Butter Face said:

they found Johnny that night dead from nickel poisoning, turned out he'd used water that was too hot and stirred anti clockwise (when we all know that spoon is a clockwise only shaft) and then licked it clean.

.

This was in Fremington if memory serves. A nasty business and one that still raises a few questions.

[apotek]

Hi there gentlefolk of the stirring community my man who stirs has had to be put down due to a terrible tea related injury and I wondered if anyone could help.
I will have to train up a new stirrer to use my collection of super spoons,and what I am looking for is a text book to train him from.
does anyone have recommendations?
Also now I am retired I was wondering if maybe I should learn some of the more techncal terms used in domestic and competetive stirring and perhaps dabble in a few low grade competitions.

[marshalla]

apotek said:

Hi there gentlefolk of the stirring community my man who stirs has had to be put down due to a terrible tea related injury and I wondered if anyone could help.
I will have to train up a new stirrer to use my collection of super spoons,and what I am looking for is a text book to train him from.
does anyone have recommendations?

Widdershin & Frostrup "On the art of stirring" is still the definitive guide, IMNSHO. I understand that the publishers have also created a YouTube channel to show some of the basic techniques for the absolute beginner. Of course, there's no substitute for practice overseen by a national master at the very least.

apotek said:

competetive stirring

You're interested in the Russian form of the sport? Oh dear.

Edited by marshalla on Friday 9th October 09:14

[Blib]

Apotek, people like you make me sick!

You own a collection of "superspoons" (sic). But, you don't even know the basics of stirring. You and your sort are destroying the noble art.

I suggest you donate your collection to chariddee and buy yourself a spork.