New Teaspoon Advice Please

[Butter Face]

mcbook said:

Guys, I’m a long-time lurker on this thread but feel the need to crash the party now.

I’m sure you’ll all appreciate that many people can’t afford to collect and regularly use the great spoons of our time, be it a German model like the Schaufentok Ubertof, a UK-produced stalwart like the Rochester SuperB or something more modern like the Boson Collision(Liquid3).

With this in mind I have recently launched a spoon rental service where the more modestly endowed connoisseur can experience the joys of great spooning at a fraction of the cost. I’m aware of this forum’s non-promotion rules so I won’t link the web site here. However, if anyone is interested I’ll happily respond to a pm.

Three-weeks into this exciting venture, trading has been brisk and all five of my Hubert Tressle Roundhouses are now booked solidly booked until November 2019. Some of my more obscure (or so I thought) Slovakian models have also done very well, for instance, the Halstatt Carpathian no. 9 is booked until Christmas and the Matthius Corvinus ‘Heavy-Edge’ has had received consistently great feedback from amateurs and professionals alike.

Can you send me a link to your pricing rates? I've got a special event coming up with some people I can't mention *cough* Lord Edgar Worthington the 4th *cough* and as you all know he's a bit of a spooner himself.

I'd like something pretty special to really spoon his socks off!!

[Hugo a Gogo]

we've all seen people hiring a special spoon for their wedding, only to end up with it wrapped around a sugar bowl

it's a crying shame to see these great spoons misused in this way

(and I'm sure we've all heard the 'nice hire-spoon' comments at the stirring table when wielding our hard earned cutlery)

[oakdale]

Hiring out spoons is nothing short of prostitution.

[northwest monkey]

mcbook said:

Guys, I’m a long-time lurker on this thread but feel the need to crash the party now.

I’m sure you’ll all appreciate that many people can’t afford to collect and regularly use the great spoons of our time, be it a German model like the Schaufentok Ubertof, a UK-produced stalwart like the Rochester SuperB or something more modern like the Boson Collision(Liquid3).

With this in mind I have recently launched a spoon rental service where the more modestly endowed connoisseur can experience the joys of great spooning at a fraction of the cost. I’m aware of this forum’s non-promotion rules so I won’t link the web site here. However, if anyone is interested I’ll happily respond to a pm.

Three-weeks into this exciting venture, trading has been brisk and all five of my Hubert Tressle Roundhouses are now booked solidly booked until November 2019. Some of my more obscure (or so I thought) Slovakian models have also done very well, for instance, the Halstatt Carpathian no. 9 is booked until Christmas and the Matthius Corvinus ‘Heavy-Edge’ has had received consistently great feedback from amateurs and professionals alike.

You want to be careful they don't end up at a Luton wedding being "tinged" against cheap mugs and stirring instant coffee...

Look what happened to that Ferrari the other week - that had airbags and crumple zones and I bet your spoons don't.

Just sayin'.

[AJS-]

mcbook said:

Guys, I’m a long-time lurker on this thread but feel the need to crash the party now.

I’m sure you’ll all appreciate that many people can’t afford to collect and regularly use the great spoons of our time, be it a German model like the Schaufentok Ubertof, a UK-produced stalwart like the Rochester SuperB or something more modern like the Boson Collision(Liquid3).

With this in mind I have recently launched a spoon rental service where the more modestly endowed connoisseur can experience the joys of great spooning at a fraction of the cost. I’m aware of this forum’s non-promotion rules so I won’t link the web site here. However, if anyone is interested I’ll happily respond to a pm.

Three-weeks into this exciting venture, trading has been brisk and all five of my Hubert Tressle Roundhouses are now booked solidly booked until November 2019. Some of my more obscure (or so I thought) Slovakian models have also done very well, for instance, the Halstatt Carpathian no. 9 is booked until Christmas and the Matthius Corvinus ‘Heavy-Edge’ has had received consistently great feedback from amateurs and professionals alike.

I hope you've got some serious insurance to cover your Carpies while they're rented out to Joe Public? I know they're not a the rarest or most unwieldy of spoons from that era, but for the average breakfast table hero used to Ikea 29s and thinking he's Fabio "Vortex" Vanelli it's a bloody liability. What are your criteria for hirers, out of interest?

[Tallow]

You know what they say about rental spoons: "Stir it like you failed to correctly boil the water"

Fine for people wanting a day of showboating, but will any one of them be in an even remotely reasonable condition for competition grade stirring? I think bloody not.

[mcbook]

AJS- said:

I hope you've got some serious insurance to cover your Carpies while they're rented out to Joe Public? I know they're not a the rarest or most unwieldy of spoons from that era, but for the average breakfast table hero used to Ikea 29s and thinking he's Fabio "Vortex" Vanelli it's a bloody liability. What are your criteria for hirers, out of interest?

I anticipated that some of the Old Guard wouldn't too thrilled with my business model but times change. Spoons are meant for stirring, not for staring at under display lights or being locked away in a dusty Bavarian cellar.

You’ll see from the few models that I mentioned, my portfolio consists mainly of the more robust editions. As such, I needn't worry too much about clumsy ‘cup-dinkers’ or over-zealous ‘torque-shafters’. However, I do have concerns over the metallurgical stability of the few rare-alloy models in the rental collection. As such, I have an intensive scrutineering process for prospective customers.

It goes without saying that many of us enthusiasts have, at one time or another, been in the security services. Personally, that’s where I was first introduced to hallowed world of Prestige Spooning via an encounter with the now-out-of-favour-due-to-political-correctness Schwert der Erich Mielke. What a spoon that was: able to extract hidden flavour in a way I’ve not seen replicated to this day. If I wasn't hooked by that experience a trip to Poland in the early 80s sealed the deal. I found myself in a rather tense meeting in the Bank Handlowy in Warsaw… things weren't going well for my side when Mieczysław Jagielski, a member of the Party Politburo, suggested a break for tea. Well, I could hardly contain my excitement when the butler emerged with four sparkling Gdansk Steelworks ‘Solidarity Movement’ Special Editions. Need I say more?

Anyway, I digress. Getting back to the point, let me assure you that I still have friends who are willing to lend a hand when it comes to vetting customers I do not know personally.

[mcbook]

oakdale said:

Hiring out spoons is nothing short of prostitution.

That's not what your grandmother said when she greedily slurped the drips from her loaned Shaftesbury Alfred 'The Great'.

Edited by mcbook on Friday 28th August 10:28

[Tallow]

mcbook said:

oakdale said:

Hiring out spoons is nothing short of prostitution.

That's not what you're grandmother said when she greedily slurped the drips from her loaned Shaftesbury Alfred 'The Great'.

That's exactly the kind of vulgarity I'd expect from the nouvelle cuillère. Never question the ancestry of a time proven stirrer.

[rohrl]

I find this spoon-rental idea intriguing and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter mcbook.

Are these spoons going to be available for hire to anyone and everyone at a daily rate or will it be more of a club type affair where members get a yearly allowance? If so will you be stratifying membership from the outset or selling extra days to heavy users?

[Hugo a Gogo]

mcbook said:

oakdale said:

Hiring out spoons is nothing short of prostitution.

That's not what your grandmother said when she greedily slurped the drips from her loaned Shaftesbury Alfred 'The Great'.

Edited by mcbook on Friday 28th August 10:28

stay on topic, this thread is about spoons

[AJS-]

Sounds good mcbook. Sounds like you're doing it right and I wish you every success in your new venture.

I just do hope it turns out to be a way for spoon enthusiasts to get a taste of top flight stirring without the capital outlay, not a way for every Hooray Henry and 3rd division footballer to become a weekend warrior in his local Starbucks.

I was one of the founding members of a spoon syndicate once where we'd all chip in and alternate use of rare spoons. Obviously not as satisfying as owning them yourself but a great way to experience an array of different spoons and socialise with other spoonatiers. Stirred the soul, if you'll pardon the pun.

Thing is after a while it started to get the extreme stirring crowd with their ray bans and impact absorbing gloves. They Were doing silly RPM on vintage stirrers, attacking sugar cubes full pelt and dinging cups like there was no tomorrow. I've nothing against extreme stirring - in fact it's quite impressive in itself - but with spoons of that vintage it just means huge maintanence bills and it made the club uneconomical. Some of the Duvelles had to be rebuilt just about every week at one point.

There was talk of putting limiters on them, using pattern parts and other extreme measures but no-one wanted that. In the end the syndicate split quite acrimoniously.

[mcbook]

rohrl said:

I find this spoon-rental idea intriguing and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter mcbook.

Are these spoons going to be available for hire to anyone and everyone at a daily rate or will it be more of a club type affair where members get a yearly allowance? If so will you be stratifying membership from the outset or selling extra days to heavy users?

Thanks for your interest. For the moment it's a simple hire by the day/week/month situation. I did consider the 'club' model but I'm really trying to propel the movement into the mainstream (to a certain extent) and didn't want to deter young enthusiasts with a more restrictive offering.

Issue 3 of the newsletter, focusing on the exuberant Silicon Valley Spoon Parties, is out towards the end of next week. More of a focus on coffee this time around but there are still the classifieds for the traditionalists to 'pour' over.

[mcbook]

AJS- said:

Sounds good mcbook. Sounds like you're doing it right and I wish you every success in your new venture.

I just do hope it turns out to be a way for spoon enthusiasts to get a taste of top flight stirring without the capital outlay, not a way for every Hooray Henry and 3rd division footballer to become a weekend warrior in his local Starbucks.

I was one of the founding members of a spoon syndicate once where we'd all chip in and alternate use of rare spoons. Obviously not as satisfying as owning them yourself but a great way to experience an array of different spoons and socialise with other spoonatiers. Stirred the soul, if you'll pardon the pun.

Thing is after a while it started to get the extreme stirring crowd with their ray bans and impact absorbing gloves. They Were doing silly RPM on vintage stirrers, attacking sugar cubes full pelt and dinging cups like there was no tomorrow. I've nothing against extreme stirring - in fact it's quite impressive in itself - but with spoons of that vintage it just means huge maintanence bills and it made the club uneconomical. Some of the Duvelles had to be rebuilt just about every week at one point.

There was talk of putting limiters on them, using pattern parts and other extreme measures but no-one wanted that. In the end the syndicate split quite acrimoniously.

Such a shame to hear about the split, maybe one day the more sensible members of the group can rise like a Phoenix from the flames to stir using Championship-grade-metal once again. I understand your concerns about the increasing number of extremists in the fraternity and I do try to weed them out. However, as with any business, there are risks and some fall through the cracks (not in my spoons, I hasten to add!). I do what I can but the occasional sacrifice of a Tweedhandle Hornrim or Thrustly Softshoulder (post-war) just has to be chalked up to experience. No use crying over spilt milk, eh?

You raise the important point of maintenance and I carried out substantial research on this topic in order to create realistic projections for the financials. I'm lucky in that I've got reasonable buffing skills but for the more intricate inlay or, heaven-forbid, full head or handle replacements, I go to a trusted man in the village. You'd never know.

[AstonZagato]

mcbook said:

Issue 3 of the newsletter, focusing on the exuberant Silicon Valley Spoon Parties, is out towards the end of next week. More of a focus on coffee this time around but there are still the classifieds for the traditionalists to 'pour' over.

Coffee? Coffee!! I think that tells me all I need to know about your target market. I was initially intrigued by your business. The idea of a club of knowledgeable connoisseurs, dipping in and out of an extensive collection of exotic cutlery was very attractive. I could try out spoons that I could never afford or that perhaps would not get enough use to justify the investment.

But letting a bunch of coffee stirrers loose on fine classic spoons is a disaster. They aren't making any more of these implements, you know.

[AJS-]

Yeah the nice thing about the older spoons is that they can be maintained fairly easily and with basic tools. The problem we had after a while was obtaining parts. A lot of these spoons, especially from central and eastern Europe were bodged together with whatever they could get their hands on. Talking of Poland I've seen Gorski Dyzolvas with Hungarian Jani stem flanges and friction plates that looked like they were from a bread knife! Plenty of ingenuity but a nightmare for anyone looking for authenticity.

We found a few old boys in Gdansk who could fabricate small batches of parts and as you can imagine they did a roaring trade in stem flanges when the extreme stirrers got ahold of the Gorskis! There's always Fenstir for the mainstream stuff, but they're not cheap.

Of course anyone with a decent lathe could make up a stem flange that would do the job but again if you're after an authentic stir you've got to have the right materials, done in the right way and that's

[mcbook]

AstonZagato said:

Coffee? Coffee!! I think that tells me all I need to know about your target market. I was initially intrigued by your business. The idea of a club of knowledgeable connoisseurs, dipping in and out of an extensive collection of exotic cutlery was very attractive. I could try out spoons that I could never afford or that perhaps would not get enough use to justify the investment.

But letting a bunch of coffee stirrers loose on fine classic spoons is a disaster. They aren't making any more of these implements, you know.

Sorry, it really is my fault for not being specific. I’m a capitalist and obviously want to tap into the most lucrative markets – that means I need an offering for East Coast USA and coffee drinkers.

I should have mentioned that a Chinese Wall separates the tea and coffee divisions of the enterprise and a completely different range is offered to both markets. For example, I have an entirely serviceable Trumpthorn Toughbody no. 5 that we all know can take a serious amount abuse. Having said that, it does suffer from above average flavour-drift so it has to be used for more delicate blends of tea. Certainly not coffee.

On the other side of the fence I have an ultra-modern Titanium Molybdenum alloy spoon, the Moly-Tinker Sheenwhistle, from the up-and-coming Tech Twist company. This one is a coffee-lovers dream and is so resistant to flavour-drift that you could stir a can of petrol with it and have no cross-contamination. Having said that, it is a blunt instrument and would not be suitable for your 3pm Darjeeling, darling.

Hope that explains things a little better. Let me know your address and I’ll send you a complimentary newsletter for your trouble.

[Butter Face]

Interesting little conversation this morning in the office, transpires that some people here are drinking herbal tea and using the same spoon as a coffee drinker. Utter madness.

After a lengthy informative chat (and a decent bit of Powerpoint) I think I've got the message across that they really should be using the correct kit, of course, the suggestion was that I should bring a few of my beauties in, those nutters.

I've set the record straight that my Warminger Number 4 Herbal Tea (Bronze Handle edition) won't be coming anywhere near this place!!

[mcbook]

AJS- said:

Yeah the nice thing about the older spoons is that they can be maintained fairly easily and with basic tools. The problem we had after a while was obtaining parts. A lot of these spoons, especially from central and eastern Europe were bodged together with whatever they could get their hands on. Talking of Poland I've seen Gorski Dyzolvas with Hungarian Jani stem flanges and friction plates that looked like they were from a bread knife! Plenty of ingenuity but a nightmare for anyone looking for authenticity.

We found a few old boys in Gdansk who could fabricate small batches of parts and as you can imagine they did a roaring trade in stem flanges when the extreme stirrers got ahold of the Gorskis! There's always Fenstir for the mainstream stuff, but they're not cheap.

Of course anyone with a decent lathe could make up a stem flange that would do the job but again if you're after an authentic stir you've got to have the right materials, done in the right way and that's

Oh, my man in the village could talk of stem flanges and friction plates all day! As you say, when obscure parts are required it can be a real bother. However, in a nearby town there's a fully qualified Polish Flange Beater now working as a take away delivery driver. He noticed my Gorski as I collected the Jalfrezi cup-in-hand and struck up a conversation. He has contacts that I occasionally use to find the stuff my man in the village can't fabricate himself. Let me know the next time you're searching for authentic Janos Kadar era parts and I'll introduce you.

[mcbook]

Butter Face said:

Interesting little conversation this morning in the office, transpires that some people here are drinking herbal tea and using the same spoon as a coffee drinker. Utter madness.

After a lengthy informative chat (and a decent bit of Powerpoint) I think I've got the message across that they really should be using the correct kit, of course, the suggestion was that I should bring a few of my beauties in, those nutters.

I've set the record straight that my Warminger Number 4 Herbal Tea (Bronze Handle edition) won't be coming anywhere near this place!!

Without wanting to be crass, may I suggest you point the heathens in my direction. Initially, I could let them loose with the Hardneck Haribo Steelfaces which we all know are fairly common but, to the uninitiated, would be a major step up in quality. If they prove to be trustworthy, I could always put them onto something pre-war from Central Europe like the Ottoport Harem Fundamentalist. That would be a good introduction, I think.

p.s. congratulations on the Bronze Handle! I've been trying to track one of those down for years but understood most of them to have been lost during transport on U-1053 off the coast of Norway.

Edited by mcbook on Friday 28th August 12:10