Nelson's Column up for sale...
Discussion
mikeveal said:
Ed Mark said:
Dear sir,
Thanks for your mail.
I cannot open the attachment.Can you use pdf so that it wll be easy for me.
You can send your identity as i will use it to file for the approval
of the fund.
Please send me your telephone number also.
I wait.
MARK
Thanks for your mail.
I cannot open the attachment.Can you use pdf so that it wll be easy for me.
You can send your identity as i will use it to file for the approval
of the fund.
Please send me your telephone number also.
I wait.
MARK
To keep the mods happy, I've tucked my next response behind a spoiler. Time to turn up the ridiculuous a little. You may consider this NSFW, then again, you may not.
Mikeveal said:
Dear Mr. Mark,
Please find attached a pdf copy of the terms and conditions. If you could sign, scan and return, or send an email expressing your agreement (with a copy of the terms and conditions attached) we can proceed.
What details do you still require from me to send me your Memorandum of Understanding?
You've asked for my telephone number. That will be a little difficult at the moment. Obviously I can not take your call at work yet. If my political masters realised we'd agreed a sale before they've announced that they're looking for bidders, I would be in trouble and it would jepardoise our agreement. I work long hours here in the city and my land lady does not like me taking calls at my lodgings late in the evening (I never get home early).
I do not own a mobile telephone. I think I must be the last person in the world!
I would give you the number of my country retreat. However, I feel it will not be of much use to you this weekend. I am going on a hairy clam hunt. I know I shouldn't bring our personal lives into this arrangement, but I don't want you to feel I'm not committed to our deal. I'm also excited, my big gun will be out for sure this weekend. There's nothing quite like cornering a hairy clam and unloading both barrels into it when you see the whites of it's eyes. I do not know much about Sao Tome. Do you hunt hairy clam over there?
Please forgive me for being personal. Is it Okay to chat whilst we arrange this deal? I believe that is should be possible to be friendly as well as professional.
Kind regards,
M Veal ACC
Assistant Clerk
National Monument Office,
The Treasury.
Please find attached a pdf copy of the terms and conditions. If you could sign, scan and return, or send an email expressing your agreement (with a copy of the terms and conditions attached) we can proceed.
What details do you still require from me to send me your Memorandum of Understanding?
You've asked for my telephone number. That will be a little difficult at the moment. Obviously I can not take your call at work yet. If my political masters realised we'd agreed a sale before they've announced that they're looking for bidders, I would be in trouble and it would jepardoise our agreement. I work long hours here in the city and my land lady does not like me taking calls at my lodgings late in the evening (I never get home early).
I do not own a mobile telephone. I think I must be the last person in the world!
I would give you the number of my country retreat. However, I feel it will not be of much use to you this weekend. I am going on a hairy clam hunt. I know I shouldn't bring our personal lives into this arrangement, but I don't want you to feel I'm not committed to our deal. I'm also excited, my big gun will be out for sure this weekend. There's nothing quite like cornering a hairy clam and unloading both barrels into it when you see the whites of it's eyes. I do not know much about Sao Tome. Do you hunt hairy clam over there?
Please forgive me for being personal. Is it Okay to chat whilst we arrange this deal? I believe that is should be possible to be friendly as well as professional.
Kind regards,
M Veal ACC
Assistant Clerk
National Monument Office,
The Treasury.
Edited by mikeveal on Friday 4th January 12:17
Oh dear, he doesn't like the contract.
Ed Mark said:
Dear sir,
Thanks for your mail.
I deanded for your passport or dribers license and you never send it
up till now.
Secondly,i want a telephone number where i can speak with you as we
need to talk.
Thirdly,the test of the agreement,i do not like it because no name of
yours and other things.
It has to be drawn perfectly and not telling me that my colleagues
want to embezzle money.
I want your identity and the telephone number.
Waiting,
MARK
And absolutely no mention of whether or not he hunts hairy clam.Thanks for your mail.
I deanded for your passport or dribers license and you never send it
up till now.
Secondly,i want a telephone number where i can speak with you as we
need to talk.
Thirdly,the test of the agreement,i do not like it because no name of
yours and other things.
It has to be drawn perfectly and not telling me that my colleagues
want to embezzle money.
I want your identity and the telephone number.
Waiting,
MARK
ks? instead of embezzlingAh and we come to the centre of the shrubbery maze, "Give me your telephone number and identity proof".....so i can clone your identity and carry out illegal activities.
Good show on this, expecially on the clam hunt, raised a hearty chuckle while i deal with medical claim insurance ineptitude.
Good show on this, expecially on the clam hunt, raised a hearty chuckle while i deal with medical claim insurance ineptitude.
Reply now sent.
Any other ideas?
MikeVeal said:
Dear Ed,
I do not understand. I thought we were working hard to create a good deal.
I have no problem sending you my passport number. I keep my passport at my country retreat, not at my London lodgings. I will return there on the weekend of the 19th / 20th January, so can provide you with my passport number on Monday 21st. I assume that this is not a problem for you. We're talking about a 50 million dollar investment here, I deal with this kind of money all the time and I do not believe that this timescale is unusal.
I have explained why I can not talk to you over the telephone. I can call you from my country home when I am there on the 19th. I don't understand why you need to speak. What do you need to say over the telephone that you can not say by email? Let me have your phone number.
Please send me a list of things that you do not like about the terms and conditions. I will talk to our legal team about changing them. I see what you mean about the embezzeling bit, it doesn't read well. One of my colleagues in the legal department prepared this document for me based on what you've told me about where the funds came from. Would you prefer 'misappropriated', or can you suggest some alternative wording?
My name is not on the terms and condtions as I do not own Nelson's Column. It belongs to my employer, the National Monuments Office. They are mentioned many times. Your contract will be with them, I am merely brokering the sale.
The tone of your email worries me. I am keen to proceed with this sale and will provide you with everything you need. But this is a two way process. There are things I need for my end too. You must provide me with these. If your colleagues are having second thoughts and would rather invest in some thing else, please let me know.
I am worried that my talk of hunting hairy clam has offended you. My sincerest appologies if that is the case. I understand that some men are not interested in hairy clam, are you one of these?
Please let me know that you are still interested. I will send you my account details. I was also going to arrange some free flights to the UK, so that you and your colleagues could view Nelson's Column and officially take ownership. Will four tickets be enough?
Best regards,
M Veal ACC
Assistant Clerk
National Monument Office,
The Treasury.
There's a motive behind offering the free flights. I've a vauge idea forming about getting him to agree to meet with a minor royal and present them with a gift, perhaps a tea towel holder and some starfish lube...I do not understand. I thought we were working hard to create a good deal.
I have no problem sending you my passport number. I keep my passport at my country retreat, not at my London lodgings. I will return there on the weekend of the 19th / 20th January, so can provide you with my passport number on Monday 21st. I assume that this is not a problem for you. We're talking about a 50 million dollar investment here, I deal with this kind of money all the time and I do not believe that this timescale is unusal.
I have explained why I can not talk to you over the telephone. I can call you from my country home when I am there on the 19th. I don't understand why you need to speak. What do you need to say over the telephone that you can not say by email? Let me have your phone number.
Please send me a list of things that you do not like about the terms and conditions. I will talk to our legal team about changing them. I see what you mean about the embezzeling bit, it doesn't read well. One of my colleagues in the legal department prepared this document for me based on what you've told me about where the funds came from. Would you prefer 'misappropriated', or can you suggest some alternative wording?
My name is not on the terms and condtions as I do not own Nelson's Column. It belongs to my employer, the National Monuments Office. They are mentioned many times. Your contract will be with them, I am merely brokering the sale.
The tone of your email worries me. I am keen to proceed with this sale and will provide you with everything you need. But this is a two way process. There are things I need for my end too. You must provide me with these. If your colleagues are having second thoughts and would rather invest in some thing else, please let me know.
I am worried that my talk of hunting hairy clam has offended you. My sincerest appologies if that is the case. I understand that some men are not interested in hairy clam, are you one of these?
Please let me know that you are still interested. I will send you my account details. I was also going to arrange some free flights to the UK, so that you and your colleagues could view Nelson's Column and officially take ownership. Will four tickets be enough?
Best regards,
M Veal ACC
Assistant Clerk
National Monument Office,
The Treasury.
Any other ideas?
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff