The Cancer Kiss off - being dumped after diagnosis
Discussion
Du1point8 said:
Can you not report the mental and her solicitor for f
king all this up?
Pretty certain that judge/whoever solicitors answer to would be very unhappy with them after they stuck their foot in, resulting in the centre denied them access anymore and thus results in you not seeing your kiddy for 2 months.
I did ask a few posts up but I think it's too late now but given the lastest developments may be worth a shot. Who would I complain to in court? Would someone be able to help me with a rough template?king all this up?Pretty certain that judge/whoever solicitors answer to would be very unhappy with them after they stuck their foot in, resulting in the centre denied them access anymore and thus results in you not seeing your kiddy for 2 months.
drivin_me_nuts said:
I have a suggestion for you. It's something that I did when my lass went through her cancer and I was plagued with some pretty horrendous nightmares - to the point that I point blank refused to go to bed.
Often it helps to let the mind full wander where the mind needs to go. So, next time you wake up feeling depressed.. let your mind go where it needs to go. Work through the 'what would happen if we got back together scenario. Let it play out completely in your mind and see where it takes you to. At the end of it you will more than likely be surprised at where your mind's journey has taken you. Believe me, it beats endless days of getting depressed and trying to 'fight' your way out of it. I did this a few times - the first time was really bloody grim and I wanted to stop. The second time I actually took the time to add more detail and the third time, I created a full blown 'real' image of what it would be like. Once it was real enough - I stopped being terrified, because I came out the other side.
The house and home and reality part of your post about it all coming crashing down is your mind now not quite believing this is your new reality. It will past. give it time and again, rather than fight it or bury it, explore it in your mind. Try and work it out and try and make sense of what your mind is actually telling you. It will all pass.
As for the tattoo - it will be miniscule and is needed for positioning - it will be barely noticeable.
Thank you I will try that. The dreams are so vivid that I wake up in the first few seconds believing they are real, the the depression sets in when I realise they aren't. I will certainly try and go the other way and let it come.Often it helps to let the mind full wander where the mind needs to go. So, next time you wake up feeling depressed.. let your mind go where it needs to go. Work through the 'what would happen if we got back together scenario. Let it play out completely in your mind and see where it takes you to. At the end of it you will more than likely be surprised at where your mind's journey has taken you. Believe me, it beats endless days of getting depressed and trying to 'fight' your way out of it. I did this a few times - the first time was really bloody grim and I wanted to stop. The second time I actually took the time to add more detail and the third time, I created a full blown 'real' image of what it would be like. Once it was real enough - I stopped being terrified, because I came out the other side.
The house and home and reality part of your post about it all coming crashing down is your mind now not quite believing this is your new reality. It will past. give it time and again, rather than fight it or bury it, explore it in your mind. Try and work it out and try and make sense of what your mind is actually telling you. It will all pass.
As for the tattoo - it will be miniscule and is needed for positioning - it will be barely noticeable.
mjb1 said:
Seriously, you need a good solicitor who is going to fight your corner. They are trying all manner of tricks, and getting one over on you. When I suggested leaving it as water under the bridge, I thought you were about to see you son again any day, but the 27th is still weeks away. Kick off (in a controlled but firm way, not a crazed rant) at her solicitor - blame them, tell them it simply isn't good enough and ask what are they going to do about it immediately? Suggest that they personally supervise your contact (at her expense) if they can't find anyone else to do it when you are due to see your son, or that they let you have unsupervised access. It's not like you're a flight risk or there's any danger of him coming to harm. This is the sort of st where a good solicitor would eat them for breakfast.
Further, I can't see any good reason why your contact is so minimal and needs to be supervised at all. You should be aiming to get that amended (and this latest episode must be very good ammo, as they are flouting the existing order).
And most definitely ask for help in the Speed, plod, & law section. There are some very knowledgeable folk over there.
Excellent advice. Ill get onto it first thing Monday. I may as you've suggested, write her a strong letter and get this BS under control now and the secondary reason is obviously getting more permanent contact.t where a good solicitor would eat them for breakfast.Further, I can't see any good reason why your contact is so minimal and needs to be supervised at all. You should be aiming to get that amended (and this latest episode must be very good ammo, as they are flouting the existing order).
And most definitely ask for help in the Speed, plod, & law section. There are some very knowledgeable folk over there.
Edited by mjb1 on Saturday 6th April 01:20
What do you think of this? Please feel free to amend, add or change as appropriate. I don't think it's threatening enough buts Ali could come up with within 5 minutes!
Dear Solicitor
I was contacted by Wendy of the St. Andrews Contact centre informing me of a interview date of the 13th April and a contact date of the 27th April. This isn't good enough. It would have been almost 2 months from when I last saw my son and this is because of the altercation between yourself and Mrs M***.
I would like to know what you will be doing to initiate contact immediately, as the 27th April is unacceptable. I strongly suggest you personally supervise or arrange supervision for a contact session (at your cost) when I'm due to see my son or if you cannot find anyone then I want unsupervised access. I have been more than reasonable and patient and you know need to take responsibility for ensuring immediate contact, supervised or unsupervised.
I have been clearly taken advantage of, as I have no solicitor and the contact order has not been adhered to. I feel there is a urgent need to refer this matter back to court and have the order enforced if a contact session is not arranged for the 13th April?
Dear Solicitor
I was contacted by Wendy of the St. Andrews Contact centre informing me of a interview date of the 13th April and a contact date of the 27th April. This isn't good enough. It would have been almost 2 months from when I last saw my son and this is because of the altercation between yourself and Mrs M***.
I would like to know what you will be doing to initiate contact immediately, as the 27th April is unacceptable. I strongly suggest you personally supervise or arrange supervision for a contact session (at your cost) when I'm due to see my son or if you cannot find anyone then I want unsupervised access. I have been more than reasonable and patient and you know need to take responsibility for ensuring immediate contact, supervised or unsupervised.
I have been clearly taken advantage of, as I have no solicitor and the contact order has not been adhered to. I feel there is a urgent need to refer this matter back to court and have the order enforced if a contact session is not arranged for the 13th April?
Would one of the moderators kindly email me the transcript of the previous thread I had on here, can't remember who it was but they said it wouldn't be a issue.
I started a thread in SP&L and have got some good advice. I'm also going to contact Mckenzie friend, specialising in these type of cases and need to give him the low down on whats happening. It would be easier to copy and paste that over.
Mods, please could you let me now once you've emailed it?
I started a thread in SP&L and have got some good advice. I'm also going to contact Mckenzie friend, specialising in these type of cases and need to give him the low down on whats happening. It would be easier to copy and paste that over.
Mods, please could you let me now once you've emailed it?
samdale said:
Good to see you're managing to have some fun away from all of this. Kids toys and a big boys toy 
.
As for the upset/dreams etc, I saw this pic the other day
Never be ashamed to let it all out. I bet there's plenty of people with perfectly agreeable lives on here that shed a tear just reading about your life, never mind living it, you're an example to us all.
When this is all sorted, I think a decent sized get together is a must.
Keep it up, and keep posting, it's great to hear how you're getting on and great that so many people on here can offer advice, whenever you need it.
All the best, Sam
Thanks fella. I like that pic .As for the upset/dreams etc, I saw this pic the other day
Never be ashamed to let it all out. I bet there's plenty of people with perfectly agreeable lives on here that shed a tear just reading about your life, never mind living it, you're an example to us all.
When this is all sorted, I think a decent sized get together is a must.
Keep it up, and keep posting, it's great to hear how you're getting on and great that so many people on here can offer advice, whenever you need it.
All the best, Sam
bike was picked up yesterday but padlock wouldn't open to get out n the thing yesterday facepalm Grenoble said:
FYI - Mods don't watch threads (at least not all of them) - better to click "Report" on your own posting with the request or email Paul Garlick directly.
I had an email from a mod back in Feb that they had the transcript and would be emailed over, ill need to go back over my emails to check. For some stupid reason I didn't keep a copy of my very first, long post in the original thread. It would make it infinitely easier when I speak to Mckenzie friends tomorrow. I know this is probably a long shot but has anyone got a copy of my original post from the other thread?Small update guys:
Saw my little one today at the new centre, this is after seeing him last on 9th March, he seemed a little quiet but was comfortable with me which is the rmain thing. Told him Daddy loves him so much and misses him and he said the same, awesome feeling!
On coming home today I found a letter from Mentals solicitor. They have been informed they are longer instructed and she will be acting in person by herself with a signed notice sent to court, result!
She can probably ill afford to pay for costs and its a shame that we have both incurred unnecessary costs because of her unwillingness to be civil and amicable.
Anyway my Mckenzie friend has got me to send a letter to her to ask her about allegations made by her at the previous hearing, asking her why she hasnt requested a disclosure if theyre true and asking her how she wishes contact to progress in the future. We have also informed her my health has massively improved and my consultant is delighted with my progress, therefore we will be seeking further directions from court to bring forward a hearing and to show the judge I can now look after my son. I have a letter confirming this from my oncologist ( which I've obviously not shown her).
I also requested a directions hearing for this and am awaiting a date. We also sent the letter to prove the great improvement in my Heath to give the judge a heads up?!
Anyway, this is great news with her dis-instructing her solicitor, my constant letters probably helped as was suggested by a couple of you guys, as at ~£80 a time wouldn't have come cheap. A shame really as money could have been better spent on our son.
Saw my little one today at the new centre, this is after seeing him last on 9th March, he seemed a little quiet but was comfortable with me which is the rmain thing. Told him Daddy loves him so much and misses him and he said the same, awesome feeling!
On coming home today I found a letter from Mentals solicitor. They have been informed they are longer instructed and she will be acting in person by herself with a signed notice sent to court, result!
She can probably ill afford to pay for costs and its a shame that we have both incurred unnecessary costs because of her unwillingness to be civil and amicable.
Anyway my Mckenzie friend has got me to send a letter to her to ask her about allegations made by her at the previous hearing, asking her why she hasnt requested a disclosure if theyre true and asking her how she wishes contact to progress in the future. We have also informed her my health has massively improved and my consultant is delighted with my progress, therefore we will be seeking further directions from court to bring forward a hearing and to show the judge I can now look after my son. I have a letter confirming this from my oncologist ( which I've obviously not shown her).
I also requested a directions hearing for this and am awaiting a date. We also sent the letter to prove the great improvement in my Heath to give the judge a heads up?!
Anyway, this is great news with her dis-instructing her solicitor, my constant letters probably helped as was suggested by a couple of you guys, as at ~£80 a time wouldn't have come cheap. A shame really as money could have been better spent on our son.
Also to add,
We found out a few weeks ago that certain family members who we don't associate with have become friendly with my ex and her family at the exact time of my hospitalisation,
These family members (I won't delve into who exactly) had invited Mental and her family around for a function whilst I was in hospital and this is where we believe she has been fed sh!t and turned against me, makes perfect sense now. We don't particularly like these members of our family and vice versa.
My dad a couple of weeks ago, had it out with them and held them accountable for a lot of the crap. They didn't even deny it!
Long story short, they have been seeing each other, as mental lives 2 roads away on a main road which I frequent and these family members live 3 doors away. I've seen Mentals car parked outside there's and our families car parked outside hers.
No one will stab you in the back like your own family will (parents excluded). Disgusting really, and I'm sure they are feeding here more crap judging by the whats app messages I have been keeping an eye on.
Anyway, all round things are looking up, just hope our next court hearing Is more favourable, as my Mckenzie friend is looking to investigate all allegations and quash them prior to a hearing so there's no objections to fair custody. Fingers and all else crossed guys.
We found out a few weeks ago that certain family members who we don't associate with have become friendly with my ex and her family at the exact time of my hospitalisation,
These family members (I won't delve into who exactly) had invited Mental and her family around for a function whilst I was in hospital and this is where we believe she has been fed sh!t and turned against me, makes perfect sense now. We don't particularly like these members of our family and vice versa.
My dad a couple of weeks ago, had it out with them and held them accountable for a lot of the crap. They didn't even deny it!
Long story short, they have been seeing each other, as mental lives 2 roads away on a main road which I frequent and these family members live 3 doors away. I've seen Mentals car parked outside there's and our families car parked outside hers.
No one will stab you in the back like your own family will (parents excluded). Disgusting really, and I'm sure they are feeding here more crap judging by the whats app messages I have been keeping an eye on.
Anyway, all round things are looking up, just hope our next court hearing Is more favourable, as my Mckenzie friend is looking to investigate all allegations and quash them prior to a hearing so there's no objections to fair custody. Fingers and all else crossed guys.
Just a quick update:
Things have been moving along with seeing my little one and finally have a directions hearing in early August to hopefully move contact out of the centre and unsupervised, My Mckenzie friend has been invaluable and a massive help and motivation.
However, today I've taken another punch to the stomach. I was served with divorce papers from the Mental which I'm not too bothered about, in fact I'm actually pleased to be moving on from the witch. However her reasons for divorce are complete and utter B0ll0cks, which I suppose is to be expected.
The bit that worries me the most is the financial order she has filed and especially against the house that I put all my money into and even to this day, my blood, sweat and tears maintaining it and keeping up with all payments in due regard. It's the only thing I have left and my future plans were to one day give it to my son. She's going to make a complete mess of this.
She's also filing for costs and maintenance payments even though she gets her child support allowance which is deducted from my benefits.
I've spent a good part of the day phoning solicitors to get help and I only qualify for legal aid if I've been subject to some form of domestic violence and its been recorded/reported, wtf?! Even though my Employment Support Allowance qualifies me, it
Has to be on that basis. I have suffered mental and emotional abuse as you all know and surely that should qualify me?! I have one solicitor whos going to call me back tomorrow to see what she can do.
What do our resident solicitors make of this?
Just when I think I'm picking myself up, I get a big blow. I'm just sitting here, in my room , with the curtains drawn, lights off and no motivation to go anywhere or do anything, its my little boys birthday On Friday, and she has not replied to my email or letter to ask to see him just to give him his presents, so i guess I'll be missing that....the hate has come back, big time.
Things have been moving along with seeing my little one and finally have a directions hearing in early August to hopefully move contact out of the centre and unsupervised, My Mckenzie friend has been invaluable and a massive help and motivation.
However, today I've taken another punch to the stomach. I was served with divorce papers from the Mental which I'm not too bothered about, in fact I'm actually pleased to be moving on from the witch. However her reasons for divorce are complete and utter B0ll0cks, which I suppose is to be expected.
The bit that worries me the most is the financial order she has filed and especially against the house that I put all my money into and even to this day, my blood, sweat and tears maintaining it and keeping up with all payments in due regard. It's the only thing I have left and my future plans were to one day give it to my son. She's going to make a complete mess of this.
She's also filing for costs and maintenance payments even though she gets her child support allowance which is deducted from my benefits.
I've spent a good part of the day phoning solicitors to get help and I only qualify for legal aid if I've been subject to some form of domestic violence and its been recorded/reported, wtf?! Even though my Employment Support Allowance qualifies me, it
Has to be on that basis. I have suffered mental and emotional abuse as you all know and surely that should qualify me?! I have one solicitor whos going to call me back tomorrow to see what she can do.
What do our resident solicitors make of this?
Just when I think I'm picking myself up, I get a big blow. I'm just sitting here, in my room , with the curtains drawn, lights off and no motivation to go anywhere or do anything, its my little boys birthday On Friday, and she has not replied to my email or letter to ask to see him just to give him his presents, so i guess I'll be missing that....the hate has come back, big time.
StottyZr said:
This is going to be a long and hard battle, but one that is well worth fighting.
When you pull through this you'll have an amazing story to tell and a new sense of prospective.
I'm sorry to hear of the setbacks, but this is merly what they are, setbacks.
Keep you chin up and soldier on for us, your son and most importantly yourself.
Thanks, just the though of losing all that money and hard work that's been out into the house and a small part of that being my parents money too. Shes representing herself i guess as she cant afford legal costs so im desperate to geta good solicitor on legal aid, thats the hard oart right now. I'm actually glad she's filed for divorce as I don't want to be associated with her any longer but yes my Son is what keeps me going and knowing as he gets older and wiser, he will only learn of what she did and she is not doing herself any favours with her behaviour.When you pull through this you'll have an amazing story to tell and a new sense of prospective.
I'm sorry to hear of the setbacks, but this is merly what they are, setbacks.
Keep you chin up and soldier on for us, your son and most importantly yourself.
julian64 said:
Hows it going with the motorcycling?
It's going well. I'm managing to ride now without too much pain and now have the strength to wheel it around a bit more (I'm only small at 5'6). I started with short rides around the local area and now frequent going to the Ace Cafe which is 10 miles away if the weather is good just to get out n about a bit. My longest journey has been 45miles to my friends farm in Aylesbury and that was without too much discomfort.Sadly however I think I may have to sell the bike before the divorce hearing in September, as she is going for all the financial orders against me. So I'm gonna make the most of the next 2 months riding.
Guys your support and generosity is overwhelming, really is. Your all like a little family for me and whenever something happens, my first thought turns to PH
With regards to donations, Thank you so much but as I've said before, I'd rather the money go to a good charity like cancer research, orphaned children etc i always feel there's someone worse off than me that could do with the help and support.
I have my family who have been amazing in the love, support they have given me. The bike is the last of my worries and I've had a few bikes in my time so selling it isn't an issue and quite rightly, I can always buy one once this is all over,
I've been at my mates house this evening and he has recommended a friend of his who is a solicitor, who support legal aid and is going to see if he can get me going with them. That's 3 potential solicitors that haven't said no to me yet, so I'm just praying one of them comes good!
The hearing for the contact order (directions) is in Early August. My Mckenzie friend again has been amazing and prepared me well with what to do. I have a position statement to do and am noting down everything that's happening. We are due to go over everything prior to the hearing and he is going to have a chat with her prior to the hearing and said to me that he will tear her a new one if she doesn't play ball!!
The Divorce hearing is in early September and I'm going to make sure I have a solicitor in place, that's my priority now.im just curious, on the petition it says the hearing is for 15 minutes, why so short?
On a happier note, I think I may have mentioned about playing Airsoft? Well I've been playing since May and joined a local club. It's been really good for letting me get out in the fresh air and although I can't run, just to help my legs gain movement from months of sitting & lying in bed. I've had equipment kindly donated and given to me by some amazing people and for those few hours on a Sunday lurking around a wood, dressed as a Navy Seal, has taken my mind away from the drama, stress and obnoxiousness of the Mental. It's a great release from the anger that just builds and builds from the constant crap that she's been throwing at me.
With regards to donations, Thank you so much but as I've said before, I'd rather the money go to a good charity like cancer research, orphaned children etc i always feel there's someone worse off than me that could do with the help and support.
I have my family who have been amazing in the love, support they have given me. The bike is the last of my worries and I've had a few bikes in my time so selling it isn't an issue and quite rightly, I can always buy one once this is all over,
I've been at my mates house this evening and he has recommended a friend of his who is a solicitor, who support legal aid and is going to see if he can get me going with them. That's 3 potential solicitors that haven't said no to me yet, so I'm just praying one of them comes good!
The hearing for the contact order (directions) is in Early August. My Mckenzie friend again has been amazing and prepared me well with what to do. I have a position statement to do and am noting down everything that's happening. We are due to go over everything prior to the hearing and he is going to have a chat with her prior to the hearing and said to me that he will tear her a new one if she doesn't play ball!!
The Divorce hearing is in early September and I'm going to make sure I have a solicitor in place, that's my priority now.im just curious, on the petition it says the hearing is for 15 minutes, why so short?
On a happier note, I think I may have mentioned about playing Airsoft? Well I've been playing since May and joined a local club. It's been really good for letting me get out in the fresh air and although I can't run, just to help my legs gain movement from months of sitting & lying in bed. I've had equipment kindly donated and given to me by some amazing people and for those few hours on a Sunday lurking around a wood, dressed as a Navy Seal, has taken my mind away from the drama, stress and obnoxiousness of the Mental. It's a great release from the anger that just builds and builds from the constant crap that she's been throwing at me.
I do plan to get rid of everything as mentioned so working on it this week.
I spoke to a solicitor who came highly recommended by the previous lady at the contact centre who has good contacts in the legal system. I spoke to her and she certainly seems on it, after a quick brief on what's happened she sounded like she wanted to kick some ass there n then. She said all I need to get is a letter from my doc/oncologist saying I've been examined in the last 24 months, and in their view the the mental abuse had contributed in my deterioration and poor health. Sounds easier than it probably will be. If I can get that she said she would sort out the mess of the contact situation. Apparently a very experienced solicitor in domestic violence/divorce/ family cases.
Mental may just end up taking most of what I've worked my ass off for but I'm not going to let her get it without a fight. She's representing herself, so I may have a minuscule chance of getting some justice if I can get the solicitor on my side via legal aid. I've got to try. I do understand that she may take most and may not be the most resourceful thing to fight the divorce, ill always wonder what if, if I don't fight her for the house.
She hasn't replied to my email or letter ( recorded) to see my son tomorrow on his Birthday, no doubt she'll make a big deal out of me not giving a toss even though I have tried and tried to see him, that's how deluded she is. Ill have to see him Saturday at the contact centre and give him his presents there. I love him so much and the most painful thing is the thought he may have that Daddy doesn't love him or care....that thought hurts like hell.
On a happier note, my friend has just bought me and him a ticket for the British GP Friday, a really nice gesture.
I remember this time last year I took my son to see F1 for the first time and he loved it, on the slightly cold and wet Friday, with his wooly hat and oversized ear defenders, looked so cute especially walking back to the car with Hamiltons Mclaren firmly under his arm. Damn it's gonna hurt going there again
I spoke to a solicitor who came highly recommended by the previous lady at the contact centre who has good contacts in the legal system. I spoke to her and she certainly seems on it, after a quick brief on what's happened she sounded like she wanted to kick some ass there n then
. She said all I need to get is a letter from my doc/oncologist saying I've been examined in the last 24 months, and in their view the the mental abuse had contributed in my deterioration and poor health. Sounds easier than it probably will be. If I can get that she said she would sort out the mess of the contact situation. Apparently a very experienced solicitor in domestic violence/divorce/ family cases.Mental may just end up taking most of what I've worked my ass off for but I'm not going to let her get it without a fight. She's representing herself, so I may have a minuscule chance of getting some justice if I can get the solicitor on my side via legal aid. I've got to try. I do understand that she may take most and may not be the most resourceful thing to fight the divorce, ill always wonder what if, if I don't fight her for the house.
She hasn't replied to my email or letter ( recorded) to see my son tomorrow on his Birthday, no doubt she'll make a big deal out of me not giving a toss even though I have tried and tried to see him, that's how deluded she is. Ill have to see him Saturday at the contact centre and give him his presents there. I love him so much and the most painful thing is the thought he may have that Daddy doesn't love him or care....that thought hurts like hell.
On a happier note, my friend has just bought me and him a ticket for the British GP Friday, a really nice gesture.
I remember this time last year I took my son to see F1 for the first time and he loved it, on the slightly cold and wet Friday, with his wooly hat and oversized ear defenders, looked so cute especially walking back to the car with Hamiltons Mclaren firmly under his arm. Damn it's gonna hurt going there again
julian64 said:
Why'd you have to sell the bike, I thought your dad bought if for you and it was therefore out of the solicitors reach?
Good point. Is the fact it's registered to me applicable or that I can actual prove the legal owner is my father?Edited by sk7ine man on Friday 21st June 15:14
Received another kick in the gonads today. She's instructed some cheap some cheap one fee type solicitor up north with regards to the house, with some outrageous lies.
The letter goes on about our former matrimonial home. It states that I rented it without her knowledge as that's F@cking BS as we were together last July and the reason we moved out and back to my parents is that I had become too ill to work and afford to pay the mortgage and she's well aware we rented it through my friends estate agency.
It goes on requiring me to provide a complete set of keys, a copy of the tenancy agreement, contract between me and the agent, proof of where the money is received,full names and contacts of the tenants stating there's a number of adults residing there (more BS as just couple and child) and asking who inspects the house.
It then goes on stating the property needs grass cutting etc.
I mean who the F$ck does she think she is after all this time of me paying for and maintaining the property through my ill health, even on my bloody death bed, she didn't give a toss then, now all of a sudden it's 'Oh our grass is too long' F@ck off you silly w@nkers.
Sorry I'm just so angry right now. I'm a bit of stale mate now whilst waiting to see my oncologist on monday then getting hopefully the right letter from her to then give to solicitor to start the process. In desperation I did phone my Mckenzie friend as to what to do and he said there a few ways to play it. Best would be to acknowledge the letter and prolong it. He mentioned about running a deficit in the property and to ask for £xxx for payments towards the mortgage. There's also all the other things I've had done which she should pay towards.
Arghhhhh, stupid f@cking bint.
The letter goes on about our former matrimonial home. It states that I rented it without her knowledge as that's F@cking BS as we were together last July and the reason we moved out and back to my parents is that I had become too ill to work and afford to pay the mortgage and she's well aware we rented it through my friends estate agency.
It goes on requiring me to provide a complete set of keys, a copy of the tenancy agreement, contract between me and the agent, proof of where the money is received,full names and contacts of the tenants stating there's a number of adults residing there (more BS as just couple and child) and asking who inspects the house.
It then goes on stating the property needs grass cutting etc.
I mean who the F$ck does she think she is after all this time of me paying for and maintaining the property through my ill health, even on my bloody death bed, she didn't give a toss then, now all of a sudden it's 'Oh our grass is too long' F@ck off you silly w@nkers.
Sorry I'm just so angry right now. I'm a bit of stale mate now whilst waiting to see my oncologist on monday then getting hopefully the right letter from her to then give to solicitor to start the process. In desperation I did phone my Mckenzie friend as to what to do and he said there a few ways to play it. Best would be to acknowledge the letter and prolong it. He mentioned about running a deficit in the property and to ask for £xxx for payments towards the mortgage. There's also all the other things I've had done which she should pay towards.
Arghhhhh, stupid f@cking bint.
King David said:
I really can't begin to fathom how you must be feeling and have nothing but admiration for the fact that you are somehow continuing to hold yourself together. Reading this makes me so angry and I just don't understand how anyone could do this to another human being. I feel like your story should be heard by the whole nation and this poor excuse for a human being should be humiliated to the point where she is ashamed to go outside.
I know that you've said no, and that's very noble, but please allow us to donate towards legal fees (or anything that will make your life better). Everyone reading this wants to help you and for many who aren't nearby this is our only way. Being strong and self reliant is great, but there is a huge network of people here who are willing and able to support you and hopefully make your life a little bit easier.
Stay strong and never forget that one day your lad will learn all about this and know that his Dad is one of the strongest men alive.
Thank you. I've been speaking to Mobile Chicane and have asked that if anyone wants to donate ( please please don't feel like you have to) then as I don't have a PayPal account someone could hold onto the money until such time I need to oay legal fees if the legal aid doesn't work out, do you think that's fair?I know that you've said no, and that's very noble, but please allow us to donate towards legal fees (or anything that will make your life better). Everyone reading this wants to help you and for many who aren't nearby this is our only way. Being strong and self reliant is great, but there is a huge network of people here who are willing and able to support you and hopefully make your life a little bit easier.
Stay strong and never forget that one day your lad will learn all about this and know that his Dad is one of the strongest men alive.
There's been many a time I've let my emotions get the better of me and have considered going to the papers. However the repercussions on my boy could ruin his life, a small chance but not one I'd ever risk for his sake.
Chim said:
Keep this thread linked, when your son is old enough let him read through your struggle and he will no doubt pass judgment on the nasty piece of horest that he has been unfortunately lumbered with as a mother.
His rejection and hatred of her in her latter years will serve as a good payback.
As per another thread, karma is a bh and it will find her.
That's exactly what I intend to do. God forbid I'm not here tomorrow then my brother has access to all the paperwork and logs so will be showing him at an age appropriate to him.....she hasn't thought that she could lose him forever.t that he has been unfortunately lumbered with as a mother.His rejection and hatred of her in her latter years will serve as a good payback.
As per another thread, karma is a b
h and it will find her.I'm off to the Ace, I think I've been through enough for another day and need to get out and away. If anyone is going and wants to say hello, then just email me.
If it wasn't for my folks I'd say f@ck it and take the house but they've helped so much to wards getting me on my feet that I can't let them lose what they put in. They've struggled, worked all their lives and both still do even though my dads past retirement, I owe it to them at the very least. I have less regard for the £50k that I put in but the way she's gone about everything....you ain't get away without a fight.
If it wasn't for my folks I'd say f@ck it and take the house but they've helped so much to wards getting me on my feet that I can't let them lose what they put in. They've struggled, worked all their lives and both still do even though my dads past retirement, I owe it to them at the very least. I have less regard for the £50k that I put in but the way she's gone about everything....you ain't get away without a fight.
I don't know of any other forum, car related or not, with such a wide, diverse collection of people. You guys are right that the charitable nature of members of PH makes it so unique for so many different and often sad causes. I'm not saying this because I want the donations, as I made it clear in the previous thread and this thread that I don't want any donations. Coming out of denial I've realised that maybe it could help as my situation just seems to be getting worse and worse on financial grounds. Tiina so kindly on her own initiative set up a simple account which will be held by her or someone else apart from me for legal reasons. If anything, all you guys that have shown your support, either financial or not, means a heck of a lot to me and it would be a travesty if this thread were closed because of fund raising.
This thread should be kept open irrespective to show the amazing support, effort & advice given to a very real and very difficult situation. It's an example for others to follow and maybe just maybe someone somewhere could take the advice or encouragement and use it to help their own lives.
I'm sorry, my grammar is not very good and I do tend to waffle and not make sense sometimes but I'm just writing as my thoughts come out. I've cried tears of laughter from some epically funny threads and similarly cried tears for some sad threads. What im trying To say is that I've never seen such support and kind hearted gestures given to those in need anywhere else, not behind a keyboard or out In this world. Please don't stop this and ruin something PH has become a source for. Stopping that may one day fail someone in desperate need of what PHers can give, it should be allowed but controlled in a sensible way.
This thread should be kept open irrespective to show the amazing support, effort & advice given to a very real and very difficult situation. It's an example for others to follow and maybe just maybe someone somewhere could take the advice or encouragement and use it to help their own lives.
I'm sorry, my grammar is not very good and I do tend to waffle and not make sense sometimes but I'm just writing as my thoughts come out. I've cried tears of laughter from some epically funny threads and similarly cried tears for some sad threads. What im trying To say is that I've never seen such support and kind hearted gestures given to those in need anywhere else, not behind a keyboard or out In this world. Please don't stop this and ruin something PH has become a source for. Stopping that may one day fail someone in desperate need of what PHers can give, it should be allowed but controlled in a sensible way.
Slink said:
I really think you do somehow get the money together sam, to fight this evil EX (non human) 'thing'.
I read the original thread on you saying exactly what happened between you, and your EX when she found out you had cancer. I was actually speechless, well and truly speechless, that someone who was 'supposed' to care for you and even have a child with you could even consider this, let alone actually do it. now this is only my opinion, and I dont know all the facts, but I would say she was only with you while you were health, to get to your money, and when there was a chance of you not being around anymore, did the quickest thing to get rid of you, and distance herself.
Might be wrong, but thats my take on it. other than, she is an utterly heartless bh who didnt care for you in the first case, and we are back to my first statement, that she was just after something from you.
You are quite right and this is also my families take on it. She was 'Civil' when we were together but she changed when I was diagnosed and gradually got more and more sick. To the point I would be at home alone, in excruciating pain, hungry and unable to move to do anything like go to the loo, kitchen, anywhere, it was hard. I had my mum begging me to come home but to not start a civil war between the mental and my mum, I stayed and tolerated her at home. It was embarrassing having my mum having to come over when the mental was out, so she could help clean me up and make food for me, even now I well up thinking about it and what I went through and now she has the f@cking nerve on the divorce petition to claim domestic violence and that I kept her away from my medical health issues by not taking to her and not letting her come to appointments, utter BS. Just a common ploy to make out unreasonable behaviour towards her when I was the victim.I read the original thread on you saying exactly what happened between you, and your EX when she found out you had cancer. I was actually speechless, well and truly speechless, that someone who was 'supposed' to care for you and even have a child with you could even consider this, let alone actually do it. now this is only my opinion, and I dont know all the facts, but I would say she was only with you while you were health, to get to your money, and when there was a chance of you not being around anymore, did the quickest thing to get rid of you, and distance herself.
Might be wrong, but thats my take on it. other than, she is an utterly heartless b
h who didnt care for you in the first case, and we are back to my first statement, that she was just after something from you.Now she goes around waving fake emails, claiming adultery between me and other women and men (not that I have anything against homosexuals but I'm not that way inclined) and as I said before, I was unable to have intimacy with her let alone have affairs and f@ck other people.
I have a female friend who is a dentist and she's absolutely stunning, we've been good friends for years and before I met the mental, I hadn't seen my friend for over 7/8 years and the mental was accusing me of screwing around with her. I wish I had now, at least I would have been happy and actually be accused for something I had done.
Apologies, I'm going on again, its just so upsetting. Hopefully once I'm divorced and rid of this w
e, ill be able to out the b!tch. I'm sitting her outside the contact centre, waiting for my son to arrive to see him and give him his presents the day after his Birthday, how pathetic. She's rubbed her sh!t into every aspect of my life. Again and I won't ever tire if saying this but Thank You so much for your support guys n gals and your donations...they're very much appreciated.
Any queries or indeed donations, please pm me or just contact Mobile Chicane directly.
Tiina I'm sure your gorgeous so stop it!! and people can think what they like lol
Update:
Saw my little one earlier as you know. Loved his Subaru Imoreza RC car, it was great watching him bash into everyone and everything in the hall and then within 20 mins learn to control it properly, fantastic learning capabilities kids!! He looked a bit happier than previous sessions and just gave him loads of hugs n cuddles and told him how much I loved him and we'll be doing things together again soon.
Spent the afternoon wi my conveyancer who is also a family friend and like a father figure to me. Gave me some excellent advice as to what to do with the house.
I'm in better spirits today after that. I'm just going to enjoy this high for now.
Any queries or indeed donations, please pm me or just contact Mobile Chicane directly.
Tiina I'm sure your gorgeous so stop it!! and people can think what they like lol
Update:
Saw my little one earlier as you know. Loved his Subaru Imoreza RC car, it was great watching him bash into everyone and everything in the hall and then within 20 mins learn to control it properly, fantastic learning capabilities kids!! He looked a bit happier than previous sessions and just gave him loads of hugs n cuddles and told him how much I loved him and we'll be doing things together again soon.
Spent the afternoon wi my conveyancer who is also a family friend and like a father figure to me. Gave me some excellent advice as to what to do with the house.
I'm in better spirits today after that. I'm just going to enjoy this high for now.
Edited by sk7ine man on Saturday 22 June 19:31
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