The Cancer Kiss off - being dumped after diagnosis
Discussion
ks is waiting for you. sk7ine man said:
... In terms of my health, I had my 5th of 6 chemo last week and was pretty poorly. Developed horrible cold/night sweats and nausea a few hours after being sent home with the infusion and had to be hospitalised for a day. The disconnected the chemo as the Flouraracil wad the likely cause. All bloods, urine and chest x-rays came back fine as they suspected a infected hickman line. All well now and looking forward to the final session but my oncologist has suggested she may delay or cancel the last infusion dependant on my blood results.
To be honest I've been pretty down and depressed past 2-3 weeks, apart from seeing my son, I've had a little cry to myself now and then from what she did to me. Hey it's probably not manly or whatever but I've kept so much in and it still feels surreal that she could do this to me that's its slowly all coming out.
5FU as infusion is quite well known for making people feel utterly crap. It has a whole list of side effects. To be honest I've been pretty down and depressed past 2-3 weeks, apart from seeing my son, I've had a little cry to myself now and then from what she did to me. Hey it's probably not manly or whatever but I've kept so much in and it still feels surreal that she could do this to me that's its slowly all coming out.
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Canc...
Having any infection as a cancer patient has a real risk as your immune system is increasingly under attack. Even if you stop it will take some considerable time for it to recover and as you know, you need to be uber careful around those with even a hint of a cough and a cold.
With regards to being depressed, the first thing to say is, that in itself is very normal and very much par for the course with a cancer diagnosis, treatment and the whole long drawn out process of days waiting for things to happen. My lass had 5FU infusions from a Wednesday to a Monday evening and they were very long weekends. Even writing this brings it all back just how uncomfortable the whole process was/is.
Add to that what you are going through in terms of what the mother of your child has and is still doing to you and it's no wonder that you feel even more depressed. It is often the case that immediately after the initial diagnosis comes a 'diagnosis shock' (That some people never get over). What then often follows is a period of adjustment to the realisation they have cancer and then, as it sinks in and the daily grind of treatment and all the 'gifts' it's undesired entry brings, it's no surprise that you feel depressed.
When my lass was diagnosed I went through that shock and it got worse - much much worse as she went through treatment (She had TPF which I suspect is not far off the regime you have). Crying, grieving, anger, frustration, hatred, depression... they are all aspects and facets of cancer. They are the 'gifts' that cellular mutation brings into your life.
Only you know how you get through every day - and the days are long and hard, but know this, you are not alone and for every moment that you cry in hurt and pain there are those that from a distance wish nothing but the best for you.
I do have some suggestion of a more pragmatic nature - you really REALLY need to talk about how you feel. There are many ways to do this and just writing what you wrote here is a very positive step in saying how you feel - I did and quite literally PH saved my sanity. Please do keep on talking, whether it be on line, to Macmillian, the Samaritans, friends - even to yourself. I used to do that. I used to talk to my self all the time. I found it immensely beneficial to just say out loud - to 'admit' how I felt. I felt that saying it out loud meant that I was being honest to my self.
If I can in any way help, PM me. I haven't walked in your shoes in so far as in my body cancer has blessed me with it's absence. But I do have some some understanding of those spiky gifts of which you write. By all means PM me. My very best wishes to you brother PHer.
drivin_me_nuts said:
5FU as infusion is quite well known for making people feel utterly crap. It has a whole list of side effects.
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Canc...
Having any infection as a cancer patient has a real risk as your immune system is increasingly under attack. Even if you stop it will take some considerable time for it to recover and as you know, you need to be uber careful around those with even a hint of a cough and a cold.
With regards to being depressed, the first thing to say is, that in itself is very normal and very much par for the course with a cancer diagnosis, treatment and the whole long drawn out process of days waiting for things to happen. My lass had 5FU infusions from a Wednesday to a Monday evening and they were very long weekends. Even writing this brings it all back just how uncomfortable the whole process was/is.
Add to that what you are going through in terms of what the mother of your child has and is still doing to you and it's no wonder that you feel even more depressed. It is often the case that immediately after the initial diagnosis comes a 'diagnosis shock' (That some people never get over). What then often follows is a period of adjustment to the realisation they have cancer and then, as it sinks in and the daily grind of treatment and all the 'gifts' it's undesired entry brings, it's no surprise that you feel depressed.
When my lass was diagnosed I went through that shock and it got worse - much much worse as she went through treatment (She had TPF which I suspect is not far off the regime you have). Crying, grieving, anger, frustration, hatred, depression... they are all aspects and facets of cancer. They are the 'gifts' that cellular mutation brings into your life.
Only you know how you get through every day - and the days are long and hard, but know this, you are not alone and for every moment that you cry in hurt and pain there are those that from a distance wish nothing but the best for you.
I do have some suggestion of a more pragmatic nature - you really REALLY need to talk about how you feel. There are many ways to do this and just writing what you wrote here is a very positive step in saying how you feel - I did and quite literally PH saved my sanity. Please do keep on talking, whether it be on line, to Macmillian, the Samaritans, friends - even to yourself. I used to do that. I used to talk to my self all the time. I found it immensely beneficial to just say out loud - to 'admit' how I felt. I felt that saying it out loud meant that I was being honest to my self.
If I can in any way help, PM me. I haven't walked in your shoes in so far as in my body cancer has blessed me with it's absence. But I do have some some understanding of those spiky gifts of which you write. By all means PM me. My very best wishes to you brother PHer.
Wow, thank you. Thanks to all of you...I really mean it.http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Cancerinformation/Canc...
Having any infection as a cancer patient has a real risk as your immune system is increasingly under attack. Even if you stop it will take some considerable time for it to recover and as you know, you need to be uber careful around those with even a hint of a cough and a cold.
With regards to being depressed, the first thing to say is, that in itself is very normal and very much par for the course with a cancer diagnosis, treatment and the whole long drawn out process of days waiting for things to happen. My lass had 5FU infusions from a Wednesday to a Monday evening and they were very long weekends. Even writing this brings it all back just how uncomfortable the whole process was/is.
Add to that what you are going through in terms of what the mother of your child has and is still doing to you and it's no wonder that you feel even more depressed. It is often the case that immediately after the initial diagnosis comes a 'diagnosis shock' (That some people never get over). What then often follows is a period of adjustment to the realisation they have cancer and then, as it sinks in and the daily grind of treatment and all the 'gifts' it's undesired entry brings, it's no surprise that you feel depressed.
When my lass was diagnosed I went through that shock and it got worse - much much worse as she went through treatment (She had TPF which I suspect is not far off the regime you have). Crying, grieving, anger, frustration, hatred, depression... they are all aspects and facets of cancer. They are the 'gifts' that cellular mutation brings into your life.
Only you know how you get through every day - and the days are long and hard, but know this, you are not alone and for every moment that you cry in hurt and pain there are those that from a distance wish nothing but the best for you.
I do have some suggestion of a more pragmatic nature - you really REALLY need to talk about how you feel. There are many ways to do this and just writing what you wrote here is a very positive step in saying how you feel - I did and quite literally PH saved my sanity. Please do keep on talking, whether it be on line, to Macmillian, the Samaritans, friends - even to yourself. I used to do that. I used to talk to my self all the time. I found it immensely beneficial to just say out loud - to 'admit' how I felt. I felt that saying it out loud meant that I was being honest to my self.
If I can in any way help, PM me. I haven't walked in your shoes in so far as in my body cancer has blessed me with it's absence. But I do have some some understanding of those spiky gifts of which you write. By all means PM me. My very best wishes to you brother PHer.
Even in the previous posts/thread I used to have years running down my face as I was writing and reading thr support from you guys has helped me no end in that people do give a sh!t. That in itself has pulled me through no end.
The RC racing is keeping me busy and filling up my days.I'm hoping to enter my first race meeting this Sunday
Was sitting watching The TT legends recording from ItV with my dad...
Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
Que then 5 mins of arguing that I couldn't possibly take it...but he insisted considering everything that we've gone through and reckons it will do me a world of good to get out and about a bit more than just sitting at home...which I think in itself is a fair point as I do feel a whole world better when I'm out! He said just sort me out when your back on your feet again!! So I'm off to the classifieds now
I love my dad!
Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
Que then 5 mins of arguing that I couldn't possibly take it...but he insisted considering everything that we've gone through and reckons it will do me a world of good to get out and about a bit more than just sitting at home...which I think in itself is a fair point as I do feel a whole world better when I'm out! He said just sort me out when your back on your feet again!! So I'm off to the classifieds now
I love my dad!sk7ine man said:
Was sitting watching The TT legends recording from ItV with my dad...
Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
Que then 5 mins of arguing that I couldn't possibly take it...but he insisted considering everything that we've gone through and reckons it will do me a world of good to get out and about a bit more than just sitting at home...which I think in itself is a fair point as I do feel a whole world better when I'm out! He said just sort me out when your back on your feet again!! So I'm off to the classifieds nowI love my dad!
I'm sat with my happy little 18 month old - That just brought a lump to my throat - it's the, er, cold weather. ..Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
Que then 5 mins of arguing that I couldn't possibly take it...but he insisted considering everything that we've gone through and reckons it will do me a world of good to get out and about a bit more than just sitting at home...which I think in itself is a fair point as I do feel a whole world better when I'm out! He said just sort me out when your back on your feet again!! So I'm off to the classifieds now
I love my dad!Dads are great
sk7ine man said:
Was sitting watching The TT legends recording from ItV with my dad...
Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
I have read this to my wife. I think I have got something in my eye.Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
sk7ine man said:
Was sitting watching The TT legends recording from ItV with my dad...
Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
Que then 5 mins of arguing that I couldn't possibly take it...but he insisted considering everything that we've gone through and reckons it will do me a world of good to get out and about a bit more than just sitting at home...which I think in itself is a fair point as I do feel a whole world better when I'm out! He said just sort me out when your back on your feet again!! So I'm off to the classifieds nowI love my dad!
Enjoy it mate.Dad: hmmm it's your Birthday next week?
Me: yep
Dad: why don't you go and have a look at some bikes?
Me: eh?
Dad: you know 2 wheels, engine, with a power ranger on top?!
Me: I got cleared out by <Mental>
Dad: who said anything about paying for it?
Me:
Que then 5 mins of arguing that I couldn't possibly take it...but he insisted considering everything that we've gone through and reckons it will do me a world of good to get out and about a bit more than just sitting at home...which I think in itself is a fair point as I do feel a whole world better when I'm out! He said just sort me out when your back on your feet again!! So I'm off to the classifieds now
I love my dad!You deserve a break right now.
All the best.
garyhun said:
It doesn't matter how old we are - we are still children to our parents.
Awesome!!!
Happy shopping
Yes indeed.Awesome!!!
Happy shopping
My daughter has recently finished chemo and radiotherapy, and is currently receiving herceptin, she is a grown woman but still my little girl and I hate seeing what she has been going through.
OP, you have been treated very badly by someone you least exepected to do that but it seems you have a good family to help you through. I wish you the very best with your treatment and for a long happy life after it.
Corpulent Tosser said:
Yes indeed.
My daughter has recently finished chemo and radiotherapy, and is currently receiving herceptin, she is a grown woman but still my little girl and I hate seeing what she has been going through.
Sorry to hear about your own family health issues. I wish your daughter well!My daughter has recently finished chemo and radiotherapy, and is currently receiving herceptin, she is a grown woman but still my little girl and I hate seeing what she has been going through.
Corpulent Tosser said:
Yes indeed.
My daughter has recently finished chemo and radiotherapy, and is currently receiving herceptin, she is a grown woman but still my little girl and I hate seeing what she has been going through.
OP, you have been treated very badly by someone you least exepected to do that but it seems you have a good family to help you through. I wish you the very best with your treatment and for a long happy life after it.
I wish her all the best! Thank you.My daughter has recently finished chemo and radiotherapy, and is currently receiving herceptin, she is a grown woman but still my little girl and I hate seeing what she has been going through.
OP, you have been treated very badly by someone you least exepected to do that but it seems you have a good family to help you through. I wish you the very best with your treatment and for a long happy life after it.
Thanks guys, I feel like a little kid again but something else to look forward to and hopefully aid my recovery.
Hey OP, I just wanted to say best of luck with everything, especially health wise. You sound like a tough little cookie but remember, we all have our breaking points so if you need to release sometimes and shed a tear, then do it. There is nothing wrong with that at all and I think everyone on PH would agree.
Stay strong mate and once again, best of luck for everything.
Stay strong mate and once again, best of luck for everything.
Evening Brothers (& sisters) from other Mothers just a small update. Emailed the Mentals solicitor to ask whats going on with meeting my son at the new centre as I have tried calling them and emailing them but no reply. She said apparently me and the mental will be interviewed this Saturday with other parents, wtf? Then hopefully after that be given dates. It's been almost a month now since I last saw him.
Also from the previous comments made should I file a complaint against her for now causing me to miss seeing my son? Is this also a breach of the contact order? My cousin seems to think so but I fail to see how as technically it was the woman at the contact centre who refused further sessions at her centre not the solicitor but she and the mental initiated all this BS to cause a halt to the sessions?
My last chemo infusion is next Monday. The Radiotherapy dept at Charing Cross phoned me today to book me into having a planning scan the following week. The nurse that called was also discussing effects & side effects of having Radiotherapy and one of the things that has got me worried is the strong possibility of developing secondary's after having Radio
Seems there's a lot more side effects than chemo, including impotency and incontinence, soreness, bleeding, nausea, fatigue. Not looking forward to it. This is 5 days a week over 5 weeks as an outpatient.
In other news, I've found a bike going with my dad on Saturday to have a look and possibly even bring home. It's a GXSR 1000 K6, I last had a R1 5VY and love the lazy power of litre bikes even though ill not even be using close to 10% of its ability. Interestingly it's apparently been a ex-police bike (undercover), so a little dubious about its condition so we'll see on Saturday!
Has anyone here done/do any Airsoft Skirmishing? A friend of mine has suggested going along fortnightly to a place in Peterboghorror and having a blast, literally! Seems cool at first but 1) Running round dressed like Special forces shooting from a gun shouting "pow pow" sounds like something more suited to my son 2) seems expensive if I have to buy my own gear 3) I don't need any more hobbies now! .....must resist! Feedback welcome.
just a small update. Emailed the Mentals solicitor to ask whats going on with meeting my son at the new centre as I have tried calling them and emailing them but no reply. She said apparently me and the mental will be interviewed this Saturday with other parents, wtf? Then hopefully after that be given dates. It's been almost a month now since I last saw him. Also from the previous comments made should I file a complaint against her for now causing me to miss seeing my son? Is this also a breach of the contact order? My cousin seems to think so but I fail to see how as technically it was the woman at the contact centre who refused further sessions at her centre not the solicitor but she and the mental initiated all this BS to cause a halt to the sessions?
My last chemo infusion is next Monday. The Radiotherapy dept at Charing Cross phoned me today to book me into having a planning scan the following week. The nurse that called was also discussing effects & side effects of having Radiotherapy and one of the things that has got me worried is the strong possibility of developing secondary's after having Radio
Seems there's a lot more side effects than chemo, including impotency and incontinence, soreness, bleeding, nausea, fatigue. Not looking forward to it. This is 5 days a week over 5 weeks as an outpatient.In other news, I've found a bike
going with my dad on Saturday to have a look and possibly even bring home. It's a GXSR 1000 K6, I last had a R1 5VY and love the lazy power of litre bikes even though ill not even be using close to 10% of its ability. Interestingly it's apparently been a ex-police bike (undercover), so a little dubious about its condition so we'll see on Saturday!Has anyone here done/do any Airsoft Skirmishing? A friend of mine has suggested going along fortnightly to a place in Peterboghorror and having a blast, literally! Seems cool at first but 1) Running round dressed like Special forces shooting from a gun shouting "pow pow" sounds like something more suited to my son 2) seems expensive if I have to buy my own gear 3) I don't need any more hobbies now! .....must resist! Feedback welcome.
Edited by sk7ine man on Wednesday 3rd April 17:40
It's probably a bit late now to complain - should've kicked up a stink at the time. Her solicitor was clearly shaky about it then, knew they were on thin ice (and they are likely starting to see through her themselves, after this incident). You should have pushed for them to remedy the situation at the time - forced them (and the mental one) to apologise for causing offence. Now all you can really do is log it as factually as possible (get something in writing from the previous centre if you can), and keep it tucked away with the rest of your ammunition against the mental one.
mjb1 said:
It's probably a bit late now to complain - should've kicked up a stink at the time. Her solicitor was clearly shaky about it then, knew they were on thin ice (and they are likely starting to see through her themselves, after this incident). You should have pushed for them to remedy the situation at the time - forced them (and the mental one) to apologise for causing offence. Now all you can really do is log it as factually as possible (get something in writing from the previous centre if you can), and keep it tucked away with the rest of your ammunition against the mental one.
Ah good thinking, ill pop down and see her later this week and try and get a letter from her. I'm also seeing my new solicitor next week so really wanna kick some ass nowGassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff