The Cancer Kiss off - being dumped after diagnosis

[Coco H]

This is unbelievably sad and a tragedy in the true sense. Sam's dignity and behaviour and fight to the end show true strength of character - something I hope his son will be truely proud of in years to come.

I really hope Sam's family are able to gain contact with his son. I am still horrified at his ex-wife's behaviour, her lying and manipulation, it is despicable. Absolutely dispicable.

Sam - may you rest in peace.

[dancole90]

Just read the whole thread from start to finish. It made me so angry to read some of this but i feel proud Sam put in a good fight for himself and his son who he clearly loved so much.

Cancer can take the best of us.

My thoughts to his family and friends at this difficult time.

[middx]

Thank you to all of you, the responses are overwhelming

[mjb1]

julian64 said:

THX said:

I don't want to appear curt but could anyone outline what happened here?

I get the gist (man diagnosed with cancer, wife runs with son) but the details are spread over several pages, but also over a deleted thread.

My imagination is filling in the blanks and it's all looking too grim to fully take in...

Its more about PH really. Chap with dire prognosis posts that its the reason his wife is leaving him. Rest of PH puts the collective boot into her. In reality we don't know why she wanted to leave him. The illness could have been incidental, I suggest only the two people will really know.

On from that the usual heartache caused by a spit with a tug of war over a child ensued. The heartache made many times worse by the unfolding of the medical condition.

In the end her rush to win the tug of war blinded her to some fairly basic common decency issues. PH, as it always does takes its herd like daily mail stand. In suggesting they know how to improve the boys life at the same time as punishing the mother, they show a fairly basic lack of understanding, or empathy in their bid to appear righteous.

There was much more detail in the original thread, and if it was even half way to being accurate it was appalling behaviour from his ex. And that's even if you overlooked the fact that he was terminally ill. I won't go into more detail, because the previous thread was deleted at Sam's request.

[julian64]

THX said:

julian64 said:

Its more about PH really. Chap with dire prognosis posts that its the reason his wife is leaving him. Rest of PH puts the collective boot into her. In reality we don't know why she wanted to leave him. The illness could have been incidental, I suggest only the two people will really know.

On from that the usual heartache caused by a spit with a tug of war over a child ensued. The heartache made many times worse by the unfolding of the medical condition.

In the end her rush to win the tug of war blinded her to some fairly basic common decency issues. PH, as it always does takes its herd like daily mail stand. In suggesting they know how to improve the boys life at the same time as punishing the mother, they show a fairly basic lack of understanding, or empathy in their bid to appear righteous.

Understood, thanks.

Whatever the circumstances, my thoughts are with the little lad who's just lost his father.

Quite

[GarryDK]

RIP. been following this thread for a while so sorry to hear it end on such a bad note. hope all his family are ok. cancer sucks.

[soad]

May your heart and soul find peace and comfort, Rest in Peace.

[Bungleaio]

Very sad news.

As someone who has recently lost a parent to cancer I have an idea of what you are going through but I can't imagine the added stress of dealing with the stress.

I hope it all works out well in the end and you continue to stay in contact with the lad.

[HereBeMonsters]

THX said:

Whatever the circumstances, my thoughts are with the little lad who's just lost his father.

Hear, hear. Did he get to go to the funeral?

[blearyeyedboy]

I've been afraid of logging on to this news for some time, but that doesn't make it any less sad.

We didn't meet, chatted a little online but I found myself inspired by your strength and determination. I cried a little seeing your photo, because it's the first time I could put a face to your name and story. I hope I could be half the man you were through all of that horribleness. I hope your son grows up to be inspired by you more than any of us random strangers, because clearly he's the one who matters most.

Rest in peace, Sam.

[type-r]

RIP Sam.

[King Herald]

middx said:

Zod said:

So sad. I really hope you will be able to spend time with your nephew and make sure he grows up with positive feelings about his father.

Unfortunately, I have to battle it out with his ex wife now, as she isn't letting my parents or my family see him. I will fight tooth and nail in my brothers memory to get the chance to see my nephew

I've followed this thread, and the previous one from the beginning, and it has been hard to get my head around what an utter **** his ex-hag has been, and is obviously still being. How can any human being be such a vindictive, malicious, cruel, selfish bh, is beyond my comprehension.

Juvenile I know, but how about putting together some sort of Facebook page to document and detail this contemptible journey of pain she has put your brother through, and is now going to put your family through?

I'm pretty sure there are thousands of people out there who would also be as disgusted at this woman as we all are in PH.

[drivin_me_nuts]

For what purpose? This young boy has lost his father, does he need to lose his mother to? A cancer loss is bad enough, a loss to hate something unnecessary. The grief of loss can so easily turn the bitterness of hate and hate can run for a lifetime.

[The Beaver King]

King Herald said:

I've followed this thread, and the previous one from the beginning, and it has been hard to get my head around what an utter **** his ex-hag has been, and is obviously still being. How can any human being be such a vindictive, malicious, cruel, selfish bh, is beyond my comprehension.

Juvenile I know, but how about putting together some sort of Facebook page to document and detail this contemptible journey of pain she has put your brother through, and is now going to put your family through?

I'm pretty sure there are thousands of people out there who would also be as disgusted at this woman as we all are in PH.

I understand why you think this would be a good idea, but in reality it is not.

As has been mentioned, we had one side of the events and you can't go around preaching the 'facts' unless you know the whole story. Also, there is a little boy involved in all of this and for all you know, he could love his mother to bits and seeing her torn to shreds on social media could cause a lot of damage to him.

Leave it. Do something nice for Sam, let karma deal with his wife if required.

[middx]

My brother was civil and so I will be too, I wont stoop to her level. At the end of the day, the boy still needs his mother, and I don't want him to be messed up even further, so I don't want to publicly slag her off. Just before he died, he said to my family that he enjoyed his short life and that his son, was the best thing that ever happened to him.

[drivin_me_nuts]

middx said:

My brother was civil and so I will be too, I wont stoop to her level. At the end of the day, the boy still needs his mother, and I don't want him to be messed up even further, so I don't want to publicly slag her off. Just before he died, he said to my family that he enjoyed his short life and that his son, was the best thing that ever happened to him.

It's very hard to stand and watch someone you love and care about die. It's harder still when the pain around how they are treated gnaws deep. I wish you well and I hope that you to can find the space in your head to come to come to terms with your loss and your own feelings about how Sam was treated. I have no doubt at times the emotions must run deep, raw and angry. I hope that in time that changes to something with fewer jagged edges. You give your nephew the gift of knowledge about his dad as the link between the two of you now is one that will last a lifetime. As odd as this may sound, you have now become the guardian of the most precious gift; of keeping you brother's memory alive, bright and vibrant. No doubt in time you will catch your breath as something he says, some mannerism or other will remind you of your brother These are the moments to be celebrated and loved for what they are; moments of a life not lost, but of an essence passed down and thriving in another.

[Scuba_steve]

RIP dude, will be cuddling mine just a little tighter before they go to bed tonight.

To Middx and your family - I extend my sympathies, I sincerely hope you guys get the chance to see the little fella.

No words needed WRT the ex. None at all.

[Petrus1983]

middx said:

His last words to me were, get ready, as we're going to the spa grand prix!

I've been reading this thread since the start shocked at how low people can go. I'll be having a beer for Sam on Sunday whilst watching the GP RIP you fought a brave battle.

[R1gtr]

So sorry to hear this, when I saw this thread resurrected I had hoped it would be good news, sadly that is not the case.
Sam was brave to the end, a credit to your family, cherish the time you had and help to shape your nephew into being a fine young man like Sam was despite the ordeal he endured.

Rest in Peace Sam

[phil_cardiff]

middx said:

His last 2 weeks of his life were in a hospice, and he fought like crazy, he had immense mental strength considering how frail his body was. His last words to me were, get ready, as we're going to the spa grand prix! so he emailed me the link to book the tickets, I thought he would somehow make a miraculous recovery. His last wishes were to see his son, and his ex wife let him see his son for 20mins, but he was too weak to converse with him.

Grit in my eye here.