Idiotic Neighbour!
Discussion
I don't condone violence - but I think I would have decked him by now. Class A cock.
I'd sign him up for some porn, deliveries of various items.... I'd get very childish.
I guess he won't ever move. Who else is he harassing? Have you taken a look at his deeds (£3 Land Registry), anything interesting on there maybe?
I'd sign him up for some porn, deliveries of various items.... I'd get very childish.
I guess he won't ever move. Who else is he harassing? Have you taken a look at his deeds (£3 Land Registry), anything interesting on there maybe?
We live on a cul-de-sac of 6 houses, 4 and 5 bed. The road is immediately adjacent to the village school. 5 out of the 6 houses contain children of various ages, all very polite and well behaved. They enjoy scooting around and generally playing in the sun.
Quite why Bob at number 12 bought a substantial 5 bed detached house next to a school in a popular family village in which to retire is beyond me. He is quite happy for his grandchildren to play in the street but tells off anyone else's children if they get anywhere near Cabbage Towers. Interestingly he has never approached my children. I presume he has rightly concluded that I would offer to tear him a new one.
He drives a Tigra convertible. Mental illness manifests itself in odd ways I guess.
Quite why Bob at number 12 bought a substantial 5 bed detached house next to a school in a popular family village in which to retire is beyond me. He is quite happy for his grandchildren to play in the street but tells off anyone else's children if they get anywhere near Cabbage Towers. Interestingly he has never approached my children. I presume he has rightly concluded that I would offer to tear him a new one.
He drives a Tigra convertible. Mental illness manifests itself in odd ways I guess.
Get some grass seed and wait until he's out,
Then write 'knob' on his lawn. It'll take a couple of weeks to come out and will be guaranteed to be a different colour/type of green than what exists on his lawn at the moment.
No amount of cutting grass will remove it
Oh and while he's out put up some borrowed no parking cones on the area where he parks along with a fake notice of intended works that's tied to the lamppost nearby which says works are starting in a couple of days complete with a fake telephone number (e.g. your office one - just change your voicemail to not identify you).
Then write 'knob' on his lawn. It'll take a couple of weeks to come out and will be guaranteed to be a different colour/type of green than what exists on his lawn at the moment.
No amount of cutting grass will remove it
Oh and while he's out put up some borrowed no parking cones on the area where he parks along with a fake notice of intended works that's tied to the lamppost nearby which says works are starting in a couple of days complete with a fake telephone number (e.g. your office one - just change your voicemail to not identify you).
crmcatee said:
Oh and while he's out put up some borrowed no parking cones on the area where he parks along with a fake notice of intended works that's tied to the lamppost nearby which says works are starting in a couple of days complete with a fake telephone number (e.g. your office one - just change your voicemail to not identify you someone skanky-looking from adultwork who does depraved things with poo.)
Edited for more humour!
Don't play the mans game, as many have said on here, he's already tried to confront you and play the big man game, if you hadn't escalated it then don't bother. Im so glad my neighbours are quiet now their domestic days are over, the ones over the way and above me are just the standard JSA income support alcoholic spawn a million should of been aborted children w
kers, but again, they keep quiet.
Ignore him and just let his final days be that of a bitter twisted old man who no one will remember for much longer than a couple of weeks of rejoicing, or step up to some childish pranks. Either way, the guy is going to die so alone, take solace in the fact that all his bhing and moaning will still leave him dead and forgotten.
kers, but again, they keep quiet.Ignore him and just let his final days be that of a bitter twisted old man who no one will remember for much longer than a couple of weeks of rejoicing, or step up to some childish pranks. Either way, the guy is going to die so alone, take solace in the fact that all his b
hing and moaning will still leave him dead and forgotten.I had a neighbour who complained about my car being parked outside his house although perfectly legal as it was a permit area for which I had a valid permit. He quite rudely told me to move it which I politely did.
I then put my big old Transit Luton in the same place (He didn't know it was mine) and left it there for a few weeks starving his house of light
Pavement and no front garden you see.
I then put my big old Transit Luton in the same place (He didn't know it was mine) and left it there for a few weeks starving his house of light
Pavement and no front garden you see.
STW2010 said:
When I finished Uni the landlord flatly refused to refund any part of our deposit. This was about £200 or so each, and was before I knew about small claims etc. So I just got on with my life
A year or so later a couple of my old housemates came round and we had a lot of beer. After the usual stuff of playing Grand Theft Auto or whatever we were up to, we ended up on the laptop using auto-fill to order this tt a prospectus from almost every single university in the country.
So this tt would have had days on end of 100 page booklets being passed through his post box. That at least made us laugh at the thought; shame we couldn't see it happen. But you can OP!
I don't know if such large prospectuses exist anymore, but something along these lines could work? Sign him up for all sorts of catalogues (sex shop ones are better).
Have takeaways delivered to him; book him taxis/airport runs at 3am; send prostitutes round.
Order him a skip? (this would work better if he was on holiday at the time)
Get the neighbours on board with this one. Get some kids to knock on his door and run away, and when he comes out all of the adults bombard him with water bombs (filled with piss?) or shoot him with paintball guns.
Fill his wheelie bin with concrete?
You sure you aren't still at Uni?!A year or so later a couple of my old housemates came round and we had a lot of beer. After the usual stuff of playing Grand Theft Auto or whatever we were up to, we ended up on the laptop using auto-fill to order this t
t a prospectus from almost every single university in the country. So this t
t would have had days on end of 100 page booklets being passed through his post box. That at least made us laugh at the thought; shame we couldn't see it happen. But you can OP!I don't know if such large prospectuses exist anymore, but something along these lines could work? Sign him up for all sorts of catalogues (sex shop ones are better).
Have takeaways delivered to him; book him taxis/airport runs at 3am; send prostitutes round.
Order him a skip? (this would work better if he was on holiday at the time)
Get the neighbours on board with this one. Get some kids to knock on his door and run away, and when he comes out all of the adults bombard him with water bombs (filled with piss?) or shoot him with paintball guns.
Fill his wheelie bin with concrete?
STW2010 said:
When I finished Uni the landlord flatly refused to refund any part of our deposit. This was about £200 or so each, and was before I knew about small claims etc. So I just got on with my life
A year or so later a couple of my old housemates came round and we had a lot of beer. After the usual stuff of playing Grand Theft Auto or whatever we were up to, we ended up on the laptop using auto-fill to order this tt a prospectus from almost every single university in the country.
So this tt would have had days on end of 100 page booklets being passed through his post box. That at least made us laugh at the thought; shame we couldn't see it happen. But you can OP!
I don't know if such large prospectuses exist anymore, but something along these lines could work? Sign him up for all sorts of catalogues (sex shop ones are better).
Have takeaways delivered to him; book him taxis/airport runs at 3am; send prostitutes round.
Order him a skip? (this would work better if he was on holiday at the time)
Get the neighbours on board with this one. Get some kids to knock on his door and run away, and when he comes out all of the adults bombard him with water bombs (filled with piss?) or shoot him with paintball guns.
Fill his wheelie bin with concrete?
Travel brochures, order them for every conceivable destination, they're free!A year or so later a couple of my old housemates came round and we had a lot of beer. After the usual stuff of playing Grand Theft Auto or whatever we were up to, we ended up on the laptop using auto-fill to order this t
t a prospectus from almost every single university in the country. So this t
t would have had days on end of 100 page booklets being passed through his post box. That at least made us laugh at the thought; shame we couldn't see it happen. But you can OP!I don't know if such large prospectuses exist anymore, but something along these lines could work? Sign him up for all sorts of catalogues (sex shop ones are better).
Have takeaways delivered to him; book him taxis/airport runs at 3am; send prostitutes round.
Order him a skip? (this would work better if he was on holiday at the time)
Get the neighbours on board with this one. Get some kids to knock on his door and run away, and when he comes out all of the adults bombard him with water bombs (filled with piss?) or shoot him with paintball guns.
Fill his wheelie bin with concrete?
bhstewie said:
hstewie said: Is he an old guy? I only ask as I always imagine it's grumpy old men who do this kind of thing.
Thankfully we've always been lucky with our neighbours.
My dad complains about the traffic lights 100 yards down the road from his house. "Those yobs in tuned up hatchbacks take off from the lights so fast their front wheels are still off the ground when they come past my house".Thankfully we've always been lucky with our neighbours.
Bless him, silly old bugger.
STW2010 said:
When I finished Uni the landlord flatly refused to refund any part of our deposit. This was about £200 or so each, and was before I knew about small claims etc. So I just got on with my life
A year or so later a couple of my old housemates came round and we had a lot of beer. After the usual stuff of playing Grand Theft Auto or whatever we were up to, we ended up on the laptop using auto-fill to order this tt a prospectus from almost every single university in the country.
So this tt would have had days on end of 100 page booklets being passed through his post box. That at least made us laugh at the thought; shame we couldn't see it happen. But you can OP!
I don't know if such large prospectuses exist anymore, but something along these lines could work? Sign him up for all sorts of catalogues (sex shop ones are better).
Have takeaways delivered to him; book him taxis/airport runs at 3am; send prostitutes round.
Order him a skip? (this would work better if he was on holiday at the time)
Get the neighbours on board with this one. Get some kids to knock on his door and run away, and when he comes out all of the adults bombard him with water bombs (filled with piss?) or shoot him with paintball guns.
Fill his wheelie bin with concrete?
A year or so later a couple of my old housemates came round and we had a lot of beer. After the usual stuff of playing Grand Theft Auto or whatever we were up to, we ended up on the laptop using auto-fill to order this t
t a prospectus from almost every single university in the country. So this t
t would have had days on end of 100 page booklets being passed through his post box. That at least made us laugh at the thought; shame we couldn't see it happen. But you can OP!I don't know if such large prospectuses exist anymore, but something along these lines could work? Sign him up for all sorts of catalogues (sex shop ones are better).
Have takeaways delivered to him; book him taxis/airport runs at 3am; send prostitutes round.
Order him a skip? (this would work better if he was on holiday at the time)
Get the neighbours on board with this one. Get some kids to knock on his door and run away, and when he comes out all of the adults bombard him with water bombs (filled with piss?) or shoot him with paintball guns.
Fill his wheelie bin with concrete?
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