Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[rumple]

Rapes a fallacy, how can a woman with her skirt up not run faster than a man with his trousers down?

[davhill]

rumple said:

Rapes a fallacy, how can a woman with her skirt up not run faster than a man with his trousers down?

I thought rape was phallusey?

[Ayahuasca]

rumple said:

Rapes a fallacy, how can a woman with her skirt up not run faster than a man with his trousers down?

Who rapes a fallacy?

[Chunkymonkey71]

Wow. No ghouls reared their heads yet...

[Laurel Green]

Chunkymonkey71 said:

Wow. No ghouls reared their heads yet...

We're not talking Boston here are we?

Edited by Laurel Green on Tuesday 16th April 10:59

[Laurel Green]

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says:- "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine.

Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble."

The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor.
"No! No! Don't remove your clothes... Just stick out your tongue!"

[Grenoble]

Laurel Green said:

Were're not talking Boston here are we?

I'm comfortable holding back for a day or two. If you want borderline humour, this is a good thread.

If you want plain sick, go to sickipedia and then repost it here a few days later..

[mph999]

Can I politely request that there are NO boston jokes posted on here.
Seriously, this would be totally inappropriate.

Martin

[Fishtigua]

1st Brummie: - "Have yow seen The Voice?"
2nd Brummie: - "Course I 'ave, it's on the bench in me shed next to me woodworking tools.

Bostin' ar kid.

[Hugo a Gogo]

mph999 said:

Can I politely request that there are NO boston jokes posted on here.
Seriously, this would be totally inappropriate.

Martin

yes, I've got a feeling that wouldn't go down well

in fact, it's more than a feeling....

[Justin Cyder]

Hugo a Gogo said:

yes, I've got a feeling that wouldn't go down well

in fact, it's more than a feeling....

Groan!


10/10 for hitting the right note though.

[V8mate]

mph999 said:

Can I politely request that there are NO boston jokes posted on here.
Seriously, this would be totally inappropriate.

Martin

Why would it? Why would it be any more or less appropriate than following any other 'not very nice' event?

[Chunkymonkey71]

It's just more proof that exercise can be dangerous!

[RJO]

I thought I had the Boston Marathon won, when suddenly I was beaten by a nose.

Edited by RJO on Tuesday 16th April 11:07

[Legend83]

RJO said:

I though I had the Boston Marathon won, when suddenly I was beaten by a nose.

Ooof!

[Alex]

My neighbour's dog died last night. He wanted me to console him, so I hit him with my Xbox.

[blindswelledrat]

Fishtigua said:

1st Brummie: - "Have yow seen The Voice?"
2nd Brummie: - "Course I 'ave, it's on the bench in me shed next to me woodworking tools.

Bostin' ar kid.

Sorry to be picky but Im sure that not how a Brummie pronounces "Vice". Or was it supposed to be a different word?
Should be a farmer in that joke surely?

[K12beano]

Alex said:

My neighbour's dog died last night. He wanted me to console him, so I hit him with my Xbox.

How did you know your neighbour's dog wanted you to console him?

[LordGrover]

Woof! Console me. Bark! Wag.

[paolow]

LordGrover said:

Woof! Console me. Bark! Wag.