Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)
Discussion
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a L200 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his garage.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage,
“Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working.
"So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new.”
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,
“So how is it that I make 20,000 a year and you make 1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic....
"Try doing it with the engine running."
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage,
“Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working.
"So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new.”
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,
“So how is it that I make 20,000 a year and you make 1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic....
"Try doing it with the engine running."
Vipers said:
Whats brown and sounds like a bell.
Dung.
Dung.
Justin Cyder said:
Thatcher's dead, Fergie's retired and Liverpool are going to win the league. Somewhere there's a Scouser with a lamp and no wishes left.
Vipers said:
The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman's poodle...
The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.
She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, threw it out of the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong things. You live on the wrong side of the Ocean. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive youur cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong b
h out of the window....!
The war-weary Marine asked, 'Ma'am, may I have that seat?'
The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular 'Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.'
The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. 'Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired.
She snorted, 'Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!'
This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, threw it out of the train window, and sat down.
The woman shrieked, 'Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place
An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, 'Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong things. You live on the wrong side of the Ocean. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive youur cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong b
h out of the window....!
Three cracking jokes.
Dung.
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