Sean Connery Joke Thread (Vol 7)

[K50 DEL]

omgus said:

FFS

Please mods, can we go back to slagging off about dead people?


Please?

No but you can bring back the Latvians if you like, I miss the Latvian jokes

[cjb1]

Asterix said:

crmcatee said:

s p a c e m a n said:

I've reported that as I find it offensive making jokes about young dead women and the disabled

I've reported that as I'm offended that you're offended.

I'm offended with myself that I'm not offended. Surely I must feel compassion and empathy for every living person, not make jokes that are obviously black humour because that, regardless of anything else, must be the worst thing a person can do - I mean, making jokes about a car-crash girl (who I've never met) who's car-crash mother (who I've never met) was a car-crash, etc... I mean the injustice and tragedies that happen on a minute-by-minute basis across the planet should be enough 'joke fodder'...

Anyway - A not known gender/race/sexual orientation person walks, or uses their wheelchair, uses crutches, is wheeled in by a not known gender/race/sexual orientation care worker to a place - could be a pub but could also be a smoothie bar where no alcoholic drinks are served...

Give up.

I too am offended, not sure why but thought I'd just join in being offended, anyone else fancy joining us?

[LordHaveMurci]

cjb1 said:

Asterix said:

crmcatee said:

s p a c e m a n said:

I've reported that as I find it offensive making jokes about young dead women and the disabled

I've reported that as I'm offended that you're offended.

I'm offended with myself that I'm not offended. Surely I must feel compassion and empathy for every living person, not make jokes that are obviously black humour because that, regardless of anything else, must be the worst thing a person can do - I mean, making jokes about a car-crash girl (who I've never met) who's car-crash mother (who I've never met) was a car-crash, etc... I mean the injustice and tragedies that happen on a minute-by-minute basis across the planet should be enough 'joke fodder'...

Anyway - A not known gender/race/sexual orientation person walks, or uses their wheelchair, uses crutches, is wheeled in by a not known gender/race/sexual orientation care worker to a place - could be a pub but could also be a smoothie bar where no alcoholic drinks are served...

Give up.

I too am offended, not sure why but thought I'd just join in being offended, anyone else fancy joining us?

I'm offended that I have to be offended to fit in & if I don't fit in I'll be offended.

FFS.

[cjb1]

LordHaveMurci said:

cjb1 said:

Asterix said:

crmcatee said:

s p a c e m a n said:

I've reported that as I find it offensive making jokes about young dead women and the disabled

I've reported that as I'm offended that you're offended.

I'm offended with myself that I'm not offended. Surely I must feel compassion and empathy for every living person, not make jokes that are obviously black humour because that, regardless of anything else, must be the worst thing a person can do - I mean, making jokes about a car-crash girl (who I've never met) who's car-crash mother (who I've never met) was a car-crash, etc... I mean the injustice and tragedies that happen on a minute-by-minute basis across the planet should be enough 'joke fodder'...

Anyway - A not known gender/race/sexual orientation person walks, or uses their wheelchair, uses crutches, is wheeled in by a not known gender/race/sexual orientation care worker to a place - could be a pub but could also be a smoothie bar where no alcoholic drinks are served...

Give up.

I too am offended, not sure why but thought I'd just join in being offended, anyone else fancy joining us?

I'm offended that I have to be offended to fit in & if I don't fit in I'll be offended.

FFS.

Seek urgent help my friend, you took this being offended too far

[109er]

There's a girl round our way, I wouldn't say she was the friendly type but, she
walks around with a mattress tied to her back in case she meets someone she
knows.

[HA51EMT]

cjb1 said:

Asterix said:

crmcatee said:

s p a c e m a n said:

I've reported that as I find it offensive making jokes about young dead women and the disabled

I've reported that as I'm offended that you're offended.

I'm offended with myself that I'm not offended. Surely I must feel compassion and empathy for every living person, not make jokes that are obviously black humour because that, regardless of anything else, must be the worst thing a person can do - I mean, making jokes about a car-crash girl (who I've never met) who's car-crash mother (who I've never met) was a car-crash, etc... I mean the injustice and tragedies that happen on a minute-by-minute basis across the planet should be enough 'joke fodder'...

Anyway - A not known gender/race/sexual orientation person walks, or uses their wheelchair, uses crutches, is wheeled in by a not known gender/race/sexual orientation care worker to a place - could be a pub but could also be a smoothie bar where no alcoholic drinks are served...

Give up.

I too am offended, not sure why but thought I'd just join in being offended, anyone else fancy joining us?

I'm not offended but I will be offended on behalf of those who don't care either way.

[DWS]

I'm offended for the offended one's and so is my wife

[XJSJohn]

HA51EMT said:

cjb1 said:

Asterix said:

crmcatee said:

s p a c e m a n said:

I've reported that as I find it offensive making jokes about young dead women and the disabled

I've reported that as I'm offended that you're offended.

I'm offended with myself that I'm not offended. Surely I must feel compassion and empathy for every living person, not make jokes that are obviously black humour because that, regardless of anything else, must be the worst thing a person can do - I mean, making jokes about a car-crash girl (who I've never met) who's car-crash mother (who I've never met) was a car-crash, etc... I mean the injustice and tragedies that happen on a minute-by-minute basis across the planet should be enough 'joke fodder'...

Anyway - A not known gender/race/sexual orientation person walks, or uses their wheelchair, uses crutches, is wheeled in by a not known gender/race/sexual orientation care worker to a place - could be a pub but could also be a smoothie bar where no alcoholic drinks are served...

Give up.

I too am offended, not sure why but thought I'd just join in being offended, anyone else fancy joining us?

I'm not offended but I will be offended on behalf of those who don't care either way.

Offended??? I am outraged!!! absolutely livid infact .... err, what were we offended by again????

[Ali2202]

My Wife's offensive. Does that count?

[Ali Chappussy]

Knock knock

Who's there?

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG...Oscar

[edo]

Ali Chappussy said:

Knock knock

Who's there?

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG...Oscar

[illmonkey]

Ali Chappussy said:

Knock knock

Who's there?

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG...Oscar

would this not be more appropriate?

Knock knock

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG

Who's there?

[Asterix]

edo said:

Ali Chappussy said:

Knock knock

Who's there?

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG...Oscar

That went straight to fb - lets see who that one offends.

[edo]

Asterix said:

edo said:

Ali Chappussy said:

Knock knock

Who's there?

BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG...Oscar

That went straight to fb - lets see who that one offends.

me too

[Vipers]

Apparantly this threw a lot of parents.

What was Postman Pat called after he was made redundant?





Pat.

[Vipers]

A woman goes to an accountant to file her tax return.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."

He gets her name, address, tax file number, etc. And then asks, "What's your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl".

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised 650 cocks last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is."

[leafspring]

Vipers said:

Apparantly this threw a lot of parents.

What was Postman Pat called after he was made redundant?





Pat.

Patrick "Pat" Clifton AKA Postman Pat

[Vipers]

leafspring said:

Patrick "Pat" Clifton AKA Postman Pat

Well I googled, didn't know that, god you know some stuff

[leafspring]

Wikipedia

[Vipers]

leafspring said:

Wikipedia

PH's friend